//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Of Boredom and Co-Conspirators // by Nightmare723764 //------------------------------// <<>> After reading the psychology book, which I actually enjoyed; ‘cause believe it or not I’m something of a bookworm, I decided to ask Silent Watch for some more books to read. Honestly the disbelieving look he shot me was pretty funny, I mean yeah… I really don’t look like the sort of guy to sit still and actually read a book. But goddamn it I’m not a fucking Jock! I hate those bastards! “And get me one too, if you could… I’ll likely be done mine soon,” Inanis added, apparently most of the way through a rather massive medical textbook. “Hey can I read that after you actually?” I asked Inanis, “Psychology is all well and good but I wouldn’t mind reading up on some biology.” “Sure, I already know a fair bit about Psychology however,” Inanis said, mentally adding ‘I had to, manipulations aren’t easy…’ with a mental sigh, “so your book likely wouldn’t teach me much…” I shrugged, “I’ve always found psychology interesting.” I said, “I’m no psychologist but I know some stuff.” Inanis just looked at me disbelievingly, which honestly doesn’t really bother me. It’s a common enough reaction to me stating my interest in the ‘soft science’ of Psychology. Actually that ‘soft science’ bit always kinda annoyed me. Why exactly is Psychology considered a ‘soft science’ anyway? Shrugging, I sat the book to the side and stared at the ceiling, honestly I think I would adjust to this new world alright. I mean before I came here I lived alone and I didn’t have any people you’d call friends. Acquaintances sure, but no solid friends. Besides… the thought of having a second chance at my childhood… or rather foalhood, sounded too good to pass up! As I laid there I did however wonder how our life was going to go. What with being adopted by a Princess and her knight in twinkling armor. Maybe it’d be pretty sweet? Besides, Armor seems like he’d be a hoot to rile up! Grinning to myself I already imagined the sorts of shenanigans I and Inanis could put to drive that poor stallion gray! I looked at Silent Watch, who dropped off another book on psychology, and idly wondered what he thought about playing babysitter. Or is it foalsitter? Either or. “Hey. Silent Watch… can I ask you something?” I asked after a few moments of deliberation. The stallion turned and looked at me, “It depends… are you going to ask something insulting?” He replied after a few minutes. “Nah. I was just wondering how you feel being a glorified foalsitter?” I asked curiously. “Eh… it’s easy bits I suppose.” He said after about 20 seconds of thought, “Granted, I know what you two gremlins can get up to if left alone. So maybe I should put in for some hazard pay…” He added, though for the life of me I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not… “We could ensure that you get Hazard Pay, if you want…” Inanis said slyly, not looking up from his book. “Um… yeah that’s not necessary.” Silent Watch said quickly, “Just… read your books and don’t drive me to drink.” Inanis snickered, “Will do, though I get the distinct feeling a particular bottle at your home already has your name on it at this point!” Silent Watch rolled his eyes before he took his usual seat and resumed reading a paper, Equestria Daily I read on the front. Deciding to follow his example I also started reading. … The Psychology of a Psychopath… that’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face… And I’m not a bloody psychopath! … I took a bath, after all. <<>> As I pretended to continue reading the rather dry textbook, my mind drifted once more… this time, to my new parents. ‘Cadence certainly seems like a good mother, if the type to get stressed-out easily… I honestly feel sorry for her in having to deal with us now… Shining, however, needs a reality check, and a thorough thickening of his skin. It’s obvious that he got to his position as Captain on connections alone at this point, but that’s no excuse to be a bad captain. His jumping to conclusions, spoiled arrogance, black-and-white view of the world, and absolute belief in the levels-of-command and how one must always obey and respect their superiors; those are all things that need to change. They may have been tolerable in a foot-soldier that only follows orders and need not think, but is potentially fatal for any under his command as a captain. Shifty and I will need to poke him on those points as much as possible until he starts getting it… which will likely take a decade or so before it starts sticking with his apparent stubborness…’ I planned. ‘Dear gods, our constant poking at “Shiny” will probably make poor Cadence go grey far too fast… if it’s possible for Alicorns to do so… stupid incomplete anatomy book. Nonetheless, it needs to be done. Peaceful or not, War is hiding in every shadow; and there is no good excuse to not be properly prepared for it!’ I finish in my head with an epically fabulous flourish that would make the gods themselves weep at its glory… if only I spoke this out loud, my totally-not-imagined awesomeness would be the stuff of legends! I snicker at my quite random line of thought, ‘Honestly, where is all this randomness coming from anyway? Did the “dream” being reality begin to unhinge me…? Quite possible…’ I contemplate. ‘Not to mention my newfound habit of monologuing to myself in my head… and replying to myself… crap I really have started going unhinged, haven’t I? No you haven’t! Really? How do you figure? You were unhinged in the beginning!’ I snicker out loud from that one, attracting a strange look from Silent Watch, who could clearly see that I was reading the section on pain tolerances between sub-species of pony… wait, what? That’s actually interesting! Hold on, I better start reading this section from the beginning! <<>> Shining Armor was sitting along in his private study, which in all honest was more like a ‘stallion cave’ then a study, brooding over the fact that two foals made him lose his cool and he’d have to apologize to them! Him! Shining Armor! He hadn’t apologized for anything in his life! ‘Well… there was that one incident when I got wasted and mistaken Slim Limb for Cadence in high school… but there is no reason for a stallion to be that pretty or effeminate!’ Shining Armor thought grumpily. And now he had to apologize to foals! Who were clearly in the wrong! ‘I mean… Princess Celestia has a point and all but… if you give foals an inch they take a mile! You got to be strict but fair with foals! Like mom and dad were with me!’ Shining Armor thought, ‘The only reason Twilie wasn’t raised like I was is because she was a filly and because it was a miracle she was even carried to term anyway! Yeah…’ Shining never considered the possibility that he was actually spoiled just as much as Twilight, and had simply been jealous of his parent’s attention being directed towards her due to her being younger. ‘Yeah… I ain’t apologizing to no foals! In fact… until they learn that warlocks are evil no dessert! Yeah I mean… foals love dessert right?’ Shining thought with a decisive nod, despite he was completely alone. Nor did he realize that ‘No dessert for a week’ isn’t actually a proper punishment for getting into a hoof-fight at school, regardless of personal experience... Deciding to focus on other things Shining Armor started reading the latest issue of Flyer’s Illustrated, Swimsuit Edition! ‘Now… where is the Spitfire centerfold?’ Shining Armor thought as he flicked through the magazine. If anypony saw him, Shining Armor would insist he was a subscriber for the articles of course… <<>> Celestia barely resisted the urge the facehoof and groan. Of course she knew the Council would throw a fit at the thought of a mass inquisition. But sadly knowing really didn’t prepare her for their perpetual whining and so forth. Seeing as not even wealthy landowners or nobles will be spared from the inquisition. Point in fact Celestia was making a mental list of the ones that complained the most. They wouldn’t do that if they didn’t have something to hide after all. Hearing one particular noble again saying she didn’t have the right made Celestia’s eye twitch before she stomped her hoof. Hard. Making the entire chamber shake and silence all the nobles. It also served to tell them they pushed it too far. “I… don’t have the right? Is that right?” Celestia said in a soft tone that everypony could hear despite the softness, “Has the balance of power shifted so much that I’m a figurehead? Is that what you all think I am?” The council collectively shivered and gulped, knowing they had overstepped their bounds. The only reason Princess Celestia even humored them or even had a council was to give the ponies a voice, and with her general motherly and kindly nature they thought her less a Princess and more of a grandmotherly figure. It was time, Celestia decided, to remind the council of the pecking order! “Perhaps a reminder of whom serves whom is in order? There’s you,” ‘then the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, my nephew, my horseapples, the rocks, the plants, the insects, the animals, the other sapients,’ “then the common pony, then my niece Cadence and my student Twilight, and then finally my sister and myself. And even then my sister and I are not above the law, and thus neither is anypony else. And by law, we are expected to use every avenue available to stop criminals when they are breaking our most sacred laws, particularly in this case the absolute protection of foals!” Celestia finished, stamping her hoof again, enough to echo through the room but not enough to make it shake. The council all shivered collectively and nodded submissively. “But there are many foreigners that call the north home and you might insult them!” All except for that one plothead that was against the inquisition from the very beginning. Of course foreigners here translates into very rich acquaintances that might have tons of evidence to my backroom deals and other assorted dirty laundry that I don’t want aired. “If they are within the borders of Equestria, they are subject to our laws. No exceptions.” the Sun Diarch stated. The stallion eventually submitted, though it was clear he was very worried. Celestia made a mental note to have one of Luna’s Night Guards put him under surveillance as her own Day Guard wouldn’t know subtle if it came right up and seduced them into giving away state-secrets! Which is exactly why I don’t let them know any sensitive information... It’s always entertaining to watch spies seduce my guards for secrets, only to walk away having achieved nothing except improve my guard’s morale. One of those spies even got pregnant and married the guard in question! The recordings of her frustrated rants at still not learning anything will never stop being funny. “Now… unless you ‘nobles’ have anything beneficial to add…” The council was silent, “Excellent. I will take my leave. I’ve got some paperwork to look over.” Celestia said simply before she left, “Which roughly three-quarters I will reject because it’s either noble claptrap or very poorly planned power plays. But the last quarter always makes it worth it.” She thought with a small smile. Shaking her head at the general stupidity of nobility, a harsh assessment but true for most of them, Celestia trotted off to her private study/office. She absentmindedly also sent off an order for some relaxing Graymare tea and some cake as a snack. If anything the cake would serve as a motivator as sometimes it’s truly a titanic effort to slog through the nobles whining. <<>> Back at her castle, Twilight Sparkle was doing what she often did when she found herself stressed or confused. Reading… (Duh…) Ever since she learned of the foals, Shifting Space and Inanis, from Cadence she felt herself coming to a very uncomfortable realization. One that honestly she wished she didn’t come to. She had been living life through rose-tinted glasses. She had thought the centaur Tirek and the Umbraling Sombra were evil. And they were, what with one being a genocidal manavore while the other was a necromancer, a slaver, and a tyrannical dictator. However… somewhere along the lines she started thinking only other beings with great power or knowledge in the Dark arts could be evil… those foals reminded her that evil isn’t limited to just beings like Tirek and Sombra… It was a very disturbing, if necessary, revelation. Honestly the thought that ponies had hurt those innocent foals like that… pimping them out and exploiting them like that! Honestly she felt so mad she could chew iron and spit nails!! ‘But given my now-Alicorn physiology I probably could chew iron… hmm, I’ll have to experiment with that later…’ Twilight absentmindedly thought. Shaking her head, experiment later brood now she told herself. But then again… she never was much of a brooder Twilight mused. Her brother on the other hoof, now that stallion could brood with the best of them! Honestly she still couldn’t believe he went through an emo-goth phase! But her mother had pictures to prove it! ‘In fact I should work in some time to visit mom and dad in my schedule sometime… I’m in desperate need of a pick-me-up… especially since Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Cadence all banded together and forced me to start going to AA sessions… I wasn’t even drinking that much, only a couple bottles of cider a day… it’s not my fault I have low tolerance!’ Whoever thought being a princess was a dream come true?! Ha! In a month’s time Twilight took up drinking. After Tirek’s defeat she started to drink even more to cope with nobles endlessly badgering her with marriage contracts and having to put up with their arrogant spawn attempting to woo her. Shaking her head she focused on her strawberry and rhubarb pie, deciding to distract herself with the wonderfulness that is pie! Though Twilight still didn’t understand why her friends didn’t like it! Even Pinkie Pie disliked it! And that mare will eat any baked goods! It just didn’t make sense! (“Why would I rue Barb? I’m sure Spike’s twin sister is a perfectly nice young lady!” Pinkie’s voice echoed from… somewhere...) ‘Eh… their loss. More for me!’ She thought with a giggle as she started scarfing down the pie in a manner similar to the elusive Cakelestia! However… her good mood was thoroughly ruined by her secretary pushing in a cart filled with even more paperwork! The secretary didn’t even blink when Twilight started crying, after all it was just another day in the Friendship Castle. <<>> Celestia sighed as she finished the last bit of paperwork; a request from a farmer to purchase more land to work. It always lightened her heart to get genuine requests and the like from her little ponies. Even the nobles, a minority of them that is, had genuine requests! Granted most of them are somewhat odd but when ponies have money they trade in their common sense sadly. ‘What would you do with a swimming pool of lime-green gelatin anyway?’ Celestia wondered, however when she actually gave it some thought her muzzle took on a faint greenish tinge and she looked rather queasy, ‘Never give such requests like that too much thought…’ Shaking her head Celestia finished but and sat silently in her office sipping her tea and idly munching on some cake, ‘Now that I’ve ‘cleared’ it with the council I should inform the foals of the Inquisition. That should bring them some peace knowing their ex-guardians will face justice after so long.’ However… now that she really sat down and thought about it. She really should go see them herself. Perhaps bring Luna with her as well, she should be waking up soon anyway. Though if they were even a quarter as mischievous as Cadence and Shining Armor suggested Celestia would have to prepare herself after all it wouldn’t do for foals to work her up! She is Trollestia! Prankster Queen of Equestria! She learned how to troll from Discord before he went mad and took over! Eating her last bit of cake and finishing off her tea Celestia decided to have a nice relaxing bath before she went to visit the foals; Shifting Space and Inanis if she recalled correctly. <<>> After finishing up on reading about differences of pain-tolerances between subspecies of pony, and isn’t that a mouthful, I was bored again. Silent Watch was unable to find any medical texts with interesting information, either. With nothing to do but brood, I found himself slipping into an increasingly unpleasant mood; something Silent Watch took note of, and seemed wary about. ‘Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored! So gods damned bored! I haven’t been this bored since… I should probably find something to entertain myself with before the beef-dipper incident repeats itself. Mind you, I was seven at the time; but it still resulted in mass panic in that restaurant… and getting permanently blacklisted. Which sucks, because those very same Beef Dippers were quite good, especially the Philly Cheesesteak ones! What I wouldn’t give for one of those right now… if I could even eat it in this body without getting violently ill from the meat…’ I monologued internally. ‘Hmm… this world is magical, right? … Oh great origin of magic, please give me something to do, if only to prove that a sapient personified embodiment of magic exists in this reality?’ I thought, while contemplating the wisdom in asking an all-powerful being for something as petty as ending my boredom. Well, boredom is my arch-nemesis, so totally worth it! And that’s not just because acting like a child staves off some of the boredom! ‘… crap, it didn’t wor- is that hoofsteps I hear? Please be visitors, please be visitors, please be visitors…’ And lo-and-behold, it was visitors. ‘Magic, I officially love you. Now if only I could figure out how to cast spells in this dimension so I could kiss you!’ I mentally exclaim, before hearing a disturbing voice that sounded like a hundred me’s giggling in unison. I’ll just assume I’m crazy and imagined that. A large white Alicorn entered the room soon enough, whom I assume is Celestia, and was followed by the Alicorn I assume is Luna… I really hope I didn’t get that wrong, it would be pretty awkward to trick Shifty into that promise just to find out it was for the wrong Alicorn… “Hello Shifting Space and Inanis, it is nice to finally meet you. I am Princess Celestia Solaris, and this is my sister Princess Lunae Eclipsis, of whom I hear Inanis has already met. You may call us Celestia and Luna for short.” The White Alicorn confirmed for me. ‘Yes! I didn’t confuse Luna with someone else! Thank Magic…’ I thought, determinedly ignoring the creepy echoing giggle I heard again. ‘Wait… Celestia Solaris? Lunae Eclipsis? … DAMN YOU GUARD, YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME THEIR FULL NAMES! Crap, now I have to figure out a 2nd part for my name… what the hell could I pair with a word that means Void, anyway? … Lots of things that would making ponies believe I am evil simply from my name… crap. Only one thing left to do, I have to…’ I mentally shudder, ‘Channel my 12-year-old self’s naming sense! Oh gods, this is going to be horrible… Void Abyss? No. Void Light? … Potential, but no… Void Enigma? … That could work… if i knew the Latin word for enigma… Inanis Paradoxum? That… will have to do. It’s still very Chuunibyou, and I’ll be stuck with it the rest of my life, but I kind of cornered myself here…’ I think as quickly as I could manage, so as to not leave too long of a silence while thinking. “Yo. I’m Shifting Space.” My minion- err brother said with a careless wave of his hoof as he was reading that medical text I was reading earlier, “Just call me Shifty.” “And I am Inanis, as you probably guessed… technically my full name has more to it, but I’m not very fond of it to be honest… so just call me Inanis.” I Introduce myself, trying to set up an unspoken explanation as to why I didn’t state my ‘full name’ earlier. “Oh, Inanis isn’t your full name? It’s rare but not unheard of for ponies to only have one name instead of the usual two, so I didn’t consider that it wasn’t your full name…” Celestia said, making me want to bash my head into the wall for not keeping my mouth shut… stupid dream turning out to be real and rendering me off-balance! “If I may ask, so as to make sure your records are kept accurate, what is for full name?” She asked. “... Inanis Paradoxum…” I reply hesitantly… didn’t even have to act that one, fucking panic… It was then that Luna spoke up for the first time for this visit, “I’m not that good with my Ancient Alicorn, but that means “Non-Existent Paradox” I believe… rather curious name…?” “Indeed…” is all I give as a reply. “Well I think it’s interesting.” Celestia said with a smile, “Besides you hardly have the oddest name in history. I mean honestly, who names a newborn colt Deepthroat Cockslut? I seem to remember that he eventually went on to be a children’s teacher… and never told his students his name...” … I will admit, that’s fucking hilarious, and makes me feel better about this Chuunibyou-ish name I’m now stuck with. Shifty just stared at Celestia, “... Seriously? Goddamn… did his parents hate him or something!?” He asked, his expression showing he didn’t know if he should laugh or what… “No… there was a couple hundred year period where it became a fad to name children the worst names you could think of, in hopes that Allmother Faust would take pity on them and grant them her blessing… it was…” Celestia holds back a snicker, “It was-” She snickered again with a slight snort, “Oh screw it, it was the best prank-fad I ever started!” And she stopped holding back her laughter… can’t blame her. “So… you doomed several generations of your subjects to have awful names… for your own entertainment; without them ever realizing that you were the one who got them to do so?” I ask, with a serious tone and face. Celestia stiffened a bit and stopped laughing, before looking at me and nodding slightly. I just stared at her showing no emotion what-so-ever until I could see her beginning to sweat, and stated in absolute seriousness, “You and I are going to get along far too well, this country may very well be doomed.” I end with a slight smirk. Celestia just gave a similar smirk back as Luna groaned and muttered about there being two ‘Trollestias’ now. “Great… now there's two of him…” Shifty muttered with a sigh, “God… it’s a good thing I know how to take a joke or else I would’ve already smothered the fool…” “Shifty, you know as well as I do that I would have survived the attempt, and made your life a living hell for it.” I state to my currently insubordinate minion. “You heard that? Oh who am I kidding, of course you heard that…” Shifty exclaimed in surprise, before trailing off, “God… just fuck my life…” He muttered to himself. Luna giggled, “I know what you mean.” She said with a smile, “Being this troll’s little sister I always seem to be the butt of a joke.” “Well, back to the topic at ha- hoof… which I don’t know since you haven’t told us yet…?” I hint not-so-subtly. “Oh well we just decided to come and see you both for ourselves.” Celestia said with a smile, “So here we are.” Luna nodded in agreement, “We also figured we could answer some questions that books or Cadence and Shining couldn’t answer.” She added with a smile. “I’m still fairly certain there’s something you came here to either ask or inform us about, and are simply trying to ease us into it, but whatever; we’ll play along.” I state, giving the two of them pointed looks. Noticing that they look suitably sheepish, I continue, “I personally can not think of any questions to ask at this moment, but I would like to request a trip to the library… we have absolutely nothing to do here except read medical texts, and surely you can imagine how boring that is… so we would like to have a trip to the library to check out some books to keep us occupied.” I request. “That… is perfectly understandable, we can take you there once we’re done answering any questions Shifty has, or you come up with.” The Sun Diarch replied. Shifty tilted his head in, presumably, thought as he rubbed his chin in thought. “Yeah I got a question. Why the hell is your mane all wispy and shit? I mean… I read something about… organic crystalline structure or whatever but still… can’t help but ask.” “Well, Shifty, Magic is in fact Psychic Energy that has been extensively amplified by Organic Crystals called commonly ‘Mana Crystals’. Mana Crystals react… strangely… to Psychic Energies if those energies are not tightly controlled by thought and willpower… Now, Alicorn’s Manes and Tails are almost entirely made of Mana Crystals, and Alicorns themselves passively radiate Psychic Energy naturally, which is then caught and amplified by any nearby Mana Crystals. Due to the long length of the hairs, and their proximity to each-other creates an effect rather similar to an electromagnetic field around each hair, causing each hair to both repel and attract all other hairs at once. This combined with the fact that expelled Mana (Raw Amplified Psychic Energy) is lighter-than-air; causes Alicorn Manes and Tails to appear half-ethereal, or ‘wispy’. Does that answer your question, Shifty?” Celestia explained. “Wait… so the answer is magnets? I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Shifty exclaimed. Celestia and Luna giggled at Shifty’s little joke, even I chuckled a bit. While juvenile and rather… simple, it was still amusing. And appropriate. “Ah, yes; Magnets. The answer to all things Magic, except Magnets; of which the answer is Magic.” I add with a chuckle, “So, Shifty, got any more questions for them?” “Um… nope. None that I can think of right away…” Shifty blinked, “Oh! I suppose that one book about Alicorn anatomy is outdated or something? Cause you used a lot more modern terminology.” Shifty commented tilting his head. Celestia nodded, “Well yes. That books while informative to be certain is rather… misinformed in some cases.” Celestia said, “I’ll ensure you can find a more up-to-date version of the book.” She added with a pleasant smile. With that out of the way Celestia and Luna went through the process of checking Shifty and I out of the Hospital, which I am eternally grateful for because despite my trolling I don’t wish to push our dear former-watcher too far lest he sedate us both. As we made our way through the hospital I was well aware of the mixed looks of apprehension and pity we, Shifty and I that is, were getting... though I wasn’t particularly bothered by it. Shifty, however, seemed to have retreated within himself, apparently he doesn’t do well in crowds or around a lot of peo- ponies. Celestia seemed to notice his discomfort and put a wing over him in sort of a… wing hug I suppose? An analog for tossing your arm around your friend’s shoulder, I can only assume. Eventually we exited the hospital and I visibly saw Shifty relax, ‘I suppose you aren’t the biggest fan of Hospitals...? Well I can’t say you’re alone in that regard.’ I thought with some amusement, but then again who likes staying in hospitals anyway? “So where’s the library exactly?” Shifty asked curiously as he looked at Celestia. The Solar Diarch smiled in reply. “Oh not far actually.” She said kindly, “Just a couple of blocks from here. Lulu here can help you find whatever you need, as can I.” “Luna can help me find whatever I need, hmm…?” I start with obvious mischief in my voice, “and if it so happens that I need a Luna for a bed-warmer…?” Luna and Celestia looked at me completely gobsmacked while Shifty was howling in laughter, actually falling over and smacking the ground. “What…? You didn’t specify ‘whatever I need’ as having to do with the Library…” I say with a smug grin. ‘Ah trolling, without thee I’d be panicking far, FAR more than I am right now…’ Eventually Shifty recovered as did Celestia, though Luna for her part still looked like someone smacked her in the face with a trout repeatedly, “Okay you little troll.” Celestia said with a snicker, “Let’s get you to the library before you seduce my sister.” “Ah, have a book fetish does she?” I reply without missing a beat. “That’s Twilight actually.” Luna interjected, still flustered, “You and your brother will meet her eventually as well.” “Never give Twilight a rare book unless we want to be molested in some form, got it.” Shifty stepped in with a left-hook no’pony’ saw coming. I was actually rather proud of my minio- err I mean brother! Celestia flat out cackled at that while Luna giggled behind her hoof, “While definitely amusing… sadly my student’s love life is drier than Clover the Clever’s autobiography.” Celestia said with a sigh, “Such a disappointment. I had hope that sparks would fly between her and Flash Sentry… sadly it seems that Flash was in the Stable.” “Bah, all a dry love-life needs is some proper foreplay and some good lube. Perhaps you could direct some ‘smooth’ stallions her way to see if they could ‘slide right in’ to her life.” I say without changing my tone of voice once, no matter how much I wanted to snicker at my on double-entendres. Luna laughed as did her sister, “Sadly, my student wouldn’t know foreplay unless she had a book to describe it.” Celestia paused, “Okay that was an unfair assessment. Simply put she’s simply… more into learning then romance.” “Well then, you could always ask her to write a report on the biological and hormonal differences between Alicorns losing their virginity, and normal mares doing the same… you’d end up with some rather interesting porn to read from the ordeal, and you could sit back and watch as the realization slowly seeps in…” I suggest rather sadistically, remembering that ‘Princess Twilight’ was one of the Alicorns named by the guard yesterday. “How did we get started on this discussion about sex anyway?” Luna asked completely befuddled, Shifty was just snickering in amusement and shrugged. “Clearly we are all so sexy that conversation warps itself around us to accommodate it.” He replied without an ounce of shame. “Well enough of that!” Celestia said with a snicker, “We’re here!” Before us stood a rather impressive building that screamed ‘Library’ to me. Shifty apparently agreed as well as he acted like a foal and tried to drag Celestia in, apparently surprising her with his strength as he did manage to drag her forward ever-so-slightly. I simply looked at the Library, smirked, and started walking towards it with a single statement, “Onward towards the All-Consuming Horrors of the Universe; Knowledge and Truth.”