"...most childish, hog-washed, hay-brained nincompoop that ever did crawl out of a varmint hole!" Applejack roared, causing the windows of Sugarcube Corner to rattle.
"Haahaahaahaah!" Pinkie Pie laughed her head off, banging the countertop.
"Pinkie Pie!" Applejack scowled. "T'ain't funny! She's a menace! Nothin' short of it!" She gestured at a messy, grass-covered wagon sitting outside the eatery's front door. "That dag-blame'd toilet-mane'd fool coated my wagon wheels in sticky molasses! I didn't realize what was goin' on until I was halfway through town and drawing up a heapin' bunch of Celestia's green earth!"
"Heeheehee..." Pinkie Pie wiped a tear away from her bulging cheeks. "What's the matter, Applejack?! You know that our kind don't shy away from getting a bit muddy from time to time! Snkkkktâhaa haa haa haa!"
"Pinkie!" Applejack stomped her hoof. "It ain't right to pull sick nasty pranks on yer own neighbors! Maybe in Cloudsdale, but sure as hay not in here! And I'm not the only one too!" She huffed, red in the face. "Ponies between the Harvest family farm and Town Hall have been blabberin' and complainin' about how the newest speedster to grace Ponyville's been pullin' nasty jokes on half the townfolk!"
"And are any of them even a fraction as ticked off as you?! Ha ha ha!"
"Well, they should be!" Applejack leaned against the counter, her nostrils flaring. "That ain't the end of it! I hear she's been sleepin' well into the mid-hours of the day when she should be kickin' the sky clear. Also, she spends all her waking time frolicking about in midair... practicin' for some nonsense called 'the Wonderbolts.'"
"Well, she's made some good for time herself, don't you think?" Pinkie beamed. "Besides... whenever the slushie-hits-the-fan, she can get a job done in nineteen seconds flat!" Her eyes crossed. "Wait..."
"That ain't the point!" Applejack growled. "Sure, she's a quick and snappy acrobat! But bein' hard worker means bein' more than that! It means makin' a whole-hearted commitment every hour of every day! It means bein' dependable for yer fellow brothers and sisters! Provin' yer loyalty! Showin' that you care enough about them to not slather their farm equipment with Celestia-forsaken candy sludge!"
"Heeheehee..."
Applejack huffed. "Where'd she get all that molasses anyway?" She tapped her chin in thought. "Shucks... only place in Ponyville I know carries that much is... ... ..." Her eyes lit up.
"Uhhhhhh..." Pinkie Pie danced in place. "I-I just remembered!" She grabbed a random broom and sidestepped away with a nervous grin. "I-I-I gotta go and be loyal and dependable to my fellow brothers and sisters!"
"Pinkie..."
"S-somewhereelseokaybye!" And she zipped off, zippily.
"Pinkie Whatshername Pie! You git back here, ya dang fluffy varmint!" Applejack stomped her hoof. "Burn my galoshes in a barn fire! Yer almost as bad as she is!"