//------------------------------//
// I - Surprise Party 
// Story: Stranger Magics 
// by GMBlackjack 
//------------------------------//

In the Everfree Forest, even midday is as dark as dusk. The dark shades of green and purple wore by the diverse plant life absorbed so much of the natural sunlight that the blue bioluminescent flowers provided the more illumination than the orb of fire. This deep in the Everfree, they might well have been the only light. Silence ruled the forest, keeping all deathly still. No wind, no scurrying animals, not even a slight rustle of leaves or creak of a tree. The only motion at all was that of the eerie blue specks of magic that drifted around as if haunting the grounds. The Everfree Lights. 

The serenity was broken by repeated thumping - thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump - the sound of a four legged creature moving at full gallop. The sound was joined by the rustling of leaves whipped through too quickly, the cracking of branches as they were shoved out of the way, and the rumbling of dislodged rocks. The creature was moving in a blind panic, fleeing from an evil. Intense breathing presented itself, going in and out faster than the rhythm of the steps. The magical lights were excited, ending their lazy drift in favor of vigorously vibrating. 

A pony burst into the clearing, eyes open in abject terror, the primal emotion in where all thought is overridden with the need to escape and survive. He was an earth pony in a white labcoat, both he and his clothing scratched up from the panicked running. His mane was blue and looked like it may have once been held in a short ponytail, and his deep orange eyes matched the color of his short fur, the color screaming against the blue lights around him. 

He did not stop running upon coming to the clearing - he began to run faster now that the ground was even beneath his hooves. He ignored everything around him - the trees, the dirt, the large blue flowers he plowed through, and the specks - everything was nothing to his mind, he was not able to pay any attention at this time, even if he should have been. Had he been able to control himself, he might have noticed the Everfree Lights increasing in energy and motion exponentially. He might have noticed the patch of poison joke he was running through. He might have noticed the large rock hidden beneath the flowers. 

But he didn't.

He tripped right over the stone, landing face-first into the poison joke, pollen flying everywhere. He gasped - inhaling so much plant matter that he began to choke. To his credit, he still tried to run through the convulsions, but progress was slow. Too slow. 

A sound rang through the clearing, the magical lights of the forest all stopping their motion in a single instant. It was a horrid combination of noises that had no right to be together - paper tearing, rubber bands stretching, tires popping, chalkboard scratching, and the death thrall of a mare. 

He knew it was right behind him. He didn't feel it and he didn't dare look behind himself to check, he just knew. He forced himself to stop coughing - effectively ceasing all breathing - and ran forward.

He didn't make it a single yard. Something loose, smooth, warm, and semi-intangible grabbed his hind leg - and he was gone, little evidence remaining that he'd been there in the first place. There had been no scream.

The Everfree Lights resumed their lazy, haunting movement, and silence returned to the forest. Far above, the sun looked down, oblivious to what had happened beneath its warm gaze.


~~~


A young purple filly put a hoof over her eyes and attempted to look at the sun. "Rarity, does Celestia move the sun in the middle of the day, or does it do that on its own?"

The equally young white unicorn known as Rarity let out an exasperated groan. "Berry, how should I know?"

Berry put her hoof down and cocked her head in Rarity's direction. Rarity was sitting motionless on a swing, an expression of intense boredom plastered on her smooth face. She was sitting in such a way that the smallest disturbance was likely to knock her onto the ground - and no matter how much she insisted the pose was 'graceful,' it still looked absurd. 

"Well," Berry said, "you shouldn't. It was a thinky-question. Something to think about."

"Berry, does this look like a face that does thinking?"

Berry raised an eyebrow. "No, but you did make that cart-"

"That's not the point," Rarity huffed. "If I wanted a thinky-question I would have asked for one."

"You seemed bored. I was bored. Figured I'd start something."

Rarity just let out a pained noise.

"Rarity, come on!" Berry blurted. "You're home alone! You can do anything, and you're just sitting here moping about how bored you are!"

"I knoooooooow!" Rarity wailed. "Isn't that terrible? I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm squandering it!"

"So go do something! Let's..." She glanced at her blank flank. "...Go and try to get our cutie marks!"

Rarity shot Berry a look. "...Really?"

"It's not that dumb of an idea!"

"It's pretty dumb. What would we be if we spent all our time looking for our destinies? They come when they come, looking for it would just be part of some cruel game."

Berry laid down in the grass and shrugged. "Eh... I guess so. I bet I could gather the troop and do something else..."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I don't want to do normal things Berry! I want to do something... New! Classy! Something my parents would gawk at if they found out!"

"Kiss a stallion," Berry suggested.

Rarity facehooved - and then toppled out of the swing. "Ugh... Something that isn't stupid, Berry."

"Maybe we could make a game out of insulting my intelligence, see if you can get any better at it?"

Rarity gawked at Berry for a few seconds before succumbing to her inner desires and letting out a chuckle. 

Berry comically raised her ears. "Oh, what's that I hear? An appreciative noise? From Rarity?"

Rarity tried in vain to hide her smile. "You aren't funny, Berry."

"There is much evidence to the contrary, my fabulous companion. I was serious by the way, try to insult me in a way that's actually creative. Come on."

"...What?" Rarity said, confused.

Berry rolled her eyes. "Oh, say, like this. Ahem. 'Berry, you're so stupid you couldn't dump water out of a bucket even if it was on your head' or something like that."

Rarity blinked. "...Er ...Berry, this is stupid."

"Weak. Needs more words."

Rarity furrowed her brow, concentrating. "Berry, you're so stupid you should... eat paint?"

Berry raised an eyebrow. "How can you be so bad at this? You trade insults all the time with the others at school!"

"I like you, I don't like them. Simple as that."

Berry blinked slowly, then shrugged. "At least you're honest."

There was silence once again. Rarity climbed back into the swing and Berry rolled onto her side. Minutes later, a smile came to Berry's lips. "You know, maybe we don't have to do anything. Maybe we could just sit here in the sun and relax. Take life in. We're just kids. We don't have to fill our lives full of-"

"Berry?"

"Yes, Rarity?"

"What did I say about getting deep?"

"Don't?"

"Yes. So don't. Even if you might be right. There is a certain... something to this. The sun is rather elegant."

Berry grinned. "Yeah..." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. Sitting up, she saw to ponies coming towards them. "Ugh..."

"What?"

"No more relaxing. Vinyl and that... new kid are coming over."

Rarity fell out of the swing again. "...Tree Hugger," she said venomously. She quickly dusted herself off and fixed her mane. "Bad enough she steals my spotlight at school, now she comes here? This will not stand!"

"Careful though, Vinyl's pretty up there with the teens."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Berry, I know how this works." She put on the fakest smile in the history of ever. "Hello, girls! nice to see you!"

"Hey there Rars!" Tree hugger said with those lazy eyes and infuriatingly calm smile of hers. Rarity twitched at the nickname, but Tree Hugger didn't notice. "How's it hangin'?"

"Just fine. Berry and I were learning to appreciate relaxation."

"Oh, that's, like, so awesome! Getting closer to nature..."

Vinyl gave Tree Hugger an odd look.

"What? It is! Just stop to appreciate it all..."

Vinyl facehooved, shaking her head. She nudged Tree Hugger, encouraging her to get on with it.

"Oh, right. We hear that you have the house to yourself tonight?"

"That's right. Home alone," Rarity confirmed, punctuating it with a slight 'harumph'.

"Perfect!  You see, Vinyl's usual party location got closed down by the mayor, and she's got that itch to lay down some siiiick beats. So, we were wondering if you'd like to host a party."

Rarity frowned. "...Who would be coming to said party? Just you teens?"

"Rars, dude, calm down, I'm only thirteen here. You can invite anypony you want and, like, it'll be a group thing. Join the kids and teens in sick beat harmony!"

Vinyl started nodding so vigorously that her shades threatened to fly off her face. 

Berry turned to Rarity and nodded slowly. Rarity made a decision then and there but pretended to ponder it for a while - looking at all three mares around her, slowly, just to make them sweat. "Fine. You can throw the party, as long as it gets to be mine, not yours."

Tree Huger shrugged. "Hey, long as VInyl does music, I've gotten all I needed to. Is tonight best?"

Rarity smirked. "I like that idea. Tonight it is. Berry, spread the word!"

Berry saluted. "All the usuals?"

"All the usuals. And whoever else you find as well. Not Derpy though. I don't want her to set foot in my house."

Tree Hugger frowned at this remark but didn't comment. Berry ran off into town to spread the word. Vinyl ran into Rarity's house to begin setup. 

Rarity looked right at Tree Hugger. "I'm going to win."

"Oh, you're going to have a competition? Radical."

Rarity blinked, then shook her head. "Sure. Competition. In fabulousness and popularity!"

"Some kind of best partier vote?"

"...Sure," Rarity said, exasperated. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure Vinyl isn't tearing my house apart."

"Oh come on, she's not that intense."

Rarity was already walking away, shaking her head. There was no way Tree Hugger was that oblivious! It had to be some kind of act - yet another cunning ploy, designed to ruin Rarity's resolve. Well, she'd show her, Rarity was going to come out on top here and there was nothing anypony could do about it. 


~~~


Ponyville's schoolhouse was a small establishment that hadn't changed for decades - and wouldn't change for decades to come. There were a dozen or so seats within, all facing a single chalkboard at which the teacher stood. The pony who fulfilled this role had changed over the years - and was often swapped out in the middle of the day as the elementary crowd was replaced with the high school. At the moment it was a spectacled brown mare known as Miss Scroll. 

"Now, class..." she said, scribbling a problem on the board. "What is the integral of three x squared?"

Predictably, one purple-pink hoof shot upwards. The hoof belonged to a mare with green eyes and quite the frizzy and angular manestyle. 

"Somepony besides Cheerilee?" Miss Scroll asked. No other hooves went up. She sighed. "Well, if nopony's going to volunteer..."

Cheerilee waved her hoof as rapidly as she could, trying to get it even higher than her stature would allow in the vain hopes Miss Scroll would change her mind. To her left, the pink and blue twins Aloe and Lotus chuckled at their friend's antics. Cheerilee rolled her eyes at them, hoof still held high. 

"Bulk," Miss Scroll said, pointing at the muscular white pegasus in the front row. The entire class turned to look at him like a pack of hungry scavengers. His impressive muscles flexed subconsciously and his wings twitched - he froze up. 

"Bulk? Answer the question."

"Uh... Uh... Uh..." He reeled back in his chair, eyes darting left and right as if he were attempting to look at his own brain to find the answers. "...Nine x cubed?"

Cheerilee chuckled. He'd actually been close! But now it was her time to shine. She shook her hoof with her other hoof, only for Miss Scroll to pass over it. Cheerilee let out a sigh and planted her face into her desk, her frizzy mane now splayed all over her head. She still kept her hoof in the air despite this. 

"Macintosh."

Cheerilee looked over at the red stallion just in time to see him draw a sharp breath. He glanced over to his lanky yellow-orange friend for help, but Carrot just shrugged. 

"Macintosh?"

"Well, you see Miss Scroll, Ah've been busy on the farm as of late and these fancy mathematics just flew in and-"

"Stop stalling. Answer."

"Well, uh, three x squared huh? Well, if I remember what we did last month or something we were taking the number down and giving the letter a kick in the side, so to do that in reverse, Ah'd just think of some interestin' way to work backward and Ah'd..." Cheerilee watched Big Mac's eyes go wide as he realized he knew the answer. Her heart sank - once again, she wouldn't be allowed to prove herself. She lowered her hoof, defeated. 

Big Mac cleared his throat and grinned. "...and that'd mean the answer's x cubed Miss Scroll." 

Miss Scroll made a soft 'tsk' noise. "So close, I'm afraid that's wrong though."

Cheerilee's hoof shot back into the air, prompting both Aloe and Lotus to facehoof. Miss Scroll nodded, her expression resigning and hopeless. Not that Cheerilee noticed. "...Yes, Cheerilee?"

"X cubed plus C!" she announced. 

"Correct," Miss Scroll said, "now sit down while I explain why..." She began to discuss the finer points of an integral, losing most of the class but having Cheerilee's apt attention, at least for a time.

Aloe nudged her. "You take this so seriously," she said with her bizarre, strangely distant-sounding accent.

Cheerilee whispered back, not taking her eyes off the teacher. "Shh, I'm trying to listen."

"You already know this!"

'You never know when you might miss an opportunity to make it because you weren't paying attention."

"How ironic," Miss Scroll commented, "chiding your friend on not paying attention, which results in you not paying attention."

Cheerilee flushed, releasing a panicked 'eep!' from her lips. The entire class let out a chuckling chorus, even Aloe, who was likely in just as much if not more trouble. 

Miss Scroll continued. "Now, because of this..."

The doors to the schoolhouse were kicked open with a loud thunk, stopping all conversation and drawing all gazes to the back of the room. Berry stood there, her small purple frame breathing heavily. "Oh.. Good... Didn't... Miss you..." She wiped the sweat from her brow. "I was afraid class would be over!"

In that moment the bell rang. All the students - save Cheerilee - began to scramble out of their seats.

"WAIIIIIIT!" Berry yelled, holding her hoof out to them. "Vinyl's holding a party at Rarity's place!"

Miss Scroll just sighed and rolled her eyes, as if to say 'took long enough.'

Berry continued. "I don't know the details, but I know it's tonight and open to the whole school! Spread the featherin' word!"

The teenaged ponies were no longer rushing to leave - they were just staring at Berry, processing what she'd said. Lotus broke the silence. "The entire school? That'd just be... awkward."

"Tree Hugger's coordinating it all, don't worry about that."

Aloe and Lotus lit up like candles. "Oh in that case..." Aloe said.

"...we'll be there!" Lotus completed. 

And with the affirmation of the twins, roughly half the class said "yeah!" and surged out the doors, quickly leaving only Cheerilee and Miss Scroll behind.

Cheerilee looked nervously at Miss Scroll. "So..."

"Just go," Miss Scroll smirked. "You're off the hook. Have some fun, and loosen up a bit, stop trying to prove yourself so much. You won't be young much longer."

Cheerilee grinned, the weight of the words completely lost on her. "Thanks, Miss Scroll1"

"I'd give you some extra homework but we all know you'd secretly enjoy it."

Cheerlinee giggled on her way out. "Yeah, I would!" She galloped out into the afternoon air, romping through the grass to reach Aloe and Lotus. "Wait up!"

"Oh! You got out!" Aloe said, mildly surprised.

"You coming tonight?" Lotus asked.

"You betcha! Wouldn't miss it for anything!" Cheerilee said. 

Lotus laughed. "Not even an opportunity..."

"...to get out of this 'country bumpkin town'?" Aloe completed. 

Cheerilee rolled her eyes. "Real funny girls. I mean, if something short notice turned up, yeah, I'd jump ship, but that never happens..."

Lotus chuckled. "Weren't you just chiding us for ruining 'opportunities?' Hrm?"

"That... That was different," Cheerilee said. "The day is done, it's time to relax. Plus, when was the last time this 'country bumpkin town' had a party?"

"Vinyl played some music two weeks ago," Aloe offered.

"Pfft," Cheerilee sputtered. "That wasn't a party, what was general Vinyl stuff. No, what we have here tonight is a legitimate celebration where there will be fun like they have in the big cities!" A faraway look came over her. "It'll be a taste of my future..."

Aloe looked at Lotus with a quizzical look. Lotus gestured with her hoof, rotating it around her ear and sticking her tongue out. 

"...Real funny, you two. I'm not crazy."

"Probably delusional!" Lotus suggested. 

Aloe nodded in agreement - then lit up suddenly. "Oh! We should dress up! We can get our manes done and bring out the dresses..."

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't we just stand out? This is Vinyl we're talking about. A dropout. She has really low standards."

Aloe shook her head. "Judgemental, judgemental..."

"She is right though," Lotus affirmed. "We can't wear anything fancy to this. It'd just make an unnecessary scene."

"I still want a hooficure. That's not fancy."

"Yes, of course, we'll do the standard daily treatment, just no dresses!"

Cheerilee nodded. "Great!" She pulled the twins in for a hug. "Girls, this is our party. We will be on top of the world. It'll be the... oh let's shoot for 'best night ever,' why not."

The twins rolled their eyes. "Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?" Lotus asked.

"This is my last year of school," Cheerilee said. "I'm out of here first chance I can find. This might be the last big chance to see some fun in this place, Celestia knows when another one will show up."

"Yep, overdramatic," Aloe said. 

"Fitting that this is being held at the fussbucket's place," Lotus added.

"Oh, don't tell her that! The little ones can be vicious!"

"And we can't be as well?"

"Oh, of course we can, it was just a..."

"...cautionary tale."

"Yeah!"

Cheerilee rolled her eyes. "You two are amazing, you know that?"

The twins stood up on their hind legs and leaned against each other, front legs folded. They shot Cheerilee smug looks. 

Cheerilee chuckled. "Now who's being overdramatic?"


~~~


"Blast!"

Roseluck rolled her eyes. "That's never a good thing to hear." The redheaded mare knocked on the grate with her pale hoof. "Dooooctor?"

The Doctor - a brown stallion with an hourglass upon his flank - opened the metal grate. "Ah! Rose! I am afraid now's a bad time, you see, the space capacitors on my house have gone a little fritzy, producing far too many infinite hallways and impossible geometries!"

"Wait, so..." Roseluck put a hoof to her chin. "Not only is there more than usual, but you want there to be some in the first place?"

"Oh of course! Need to have some excellent uncertainty in life! A good impossible staircase in your own home will accomplish just that!" A spark went off behind him. He glared at the insulting wires and grit his teeth. "I just re-welded that wire..."

"Have you tried reversing the polarity of the neutron flow?" Rose grinned, raising her eyebrows.

"Funny. I mix up my words one time and you never let me forget it."

"Poke it with the screwdriver, then."

"...You're not being helpful. In fact, I'm almost certain this is the opposite of helpful."

"Oh really? Hadn't noticed."

"Honestly I don't know why I deal with you some times..."

"I'm young, cute, adorable, and just crazy enough to go along with your insanity, but not crazy enough that nothing fazes me. Am I close?"

The Doctor blinked. "...You sure you're not psychic?"

"Not anymore!"

"What did I tell you about ambiguous sentences?"

"Your tail is on fire."

"No, Rose, that's a-"

"Doctor, your tail is on fire."

The Doctor looked down at his tail. The very tips of it had caught fire from the sparking wires, a thin trail of smoke rising up from the hairs. "Great whickering stallions!" he declared, leaping out of the open grate and rushing outside. He leaped into his yard and rolled around in the grass, snuffing out the flames. The first thing he did after that was check his tail. "Oh thank goodness, you're fine! Ah, what would a stallion do without his tail..."

"Uh... Doc? You okay?"

The Doctor turned to his side. Standing there was an adorable little gray pegasus with wall-eyes, looking at him with concern. 

The Doctor grinned nervously. "Oi, Derpy! I'm just fine, needed to do some... 'romping' in the grass, yes. I was just overcome by the urge..."

"He almost burnt his butt off!" Roseluck called from the front door of the tiny blue house the Doctor called home. 

Derpy put a hoof to her face and giggled. "Playing with fire is dangerous Doc, you told me that!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I wasn't playing with it anyway, I was fixing things."

"With a blowtorch!" Roseluck called.

"What's a blowtorch?" Derpy asked.

"A thing that shoots fire much more dangerous than regular fire!"

"I was not using the blowtorch at the time Rose!" the Doctor countered.

"But you were befooooore!"

"Oh for the - nevermind. Derpy! What brings you here?"

Derpy brightened considerably. "Oh! There's great news! There's a party being thrown tonight, and mom said I could go!"

"Really? Excuse me, I may be a bit behind the times, but aren't you a bit... Young for a crazy party?"

"Oh, Carrot and Golden are going to be there, I'll be fine."

The Doctor blinked. "...Rose? Is it normal for that diverse of an age group to party?"

"This is Ponyville," Roseluck said with a shrug. "You take any opportunity to party you can get. We don't really have anyone to organize them regularly."

"You should fix that."

"I would say the mayor was working on that, but we all know he's not and probably isn't smart enough to do so even if he wanted."

Derpy gasped. "You shouldn't say that!"

Roseluck rolled her eyes. "Kid, there's a looot worse things I could say. 'Great whickering stallions' for one."

Derpy giggled while the Doctor facehooved and grumbled. "Relentless, Rose, you're relentless!"

"Relentless Rose. I like that name. Perhaps I'll use it."

"Of course you would..." The Doctor shook his head. "Well, Derpy, I'm glad about the party, but why are you here?"

'Don't you see Doc?" Derpy's eyes went wide. "I'm not 'cool' because mom was always keeping me home! No adventures! No intense playing! The most exciting thing I did in the last two weeks was go into your house and explore! Which is really cool, but the other kids don't believe me about it!"

The Doctor sighed. "You know, I could talk to them..."

"Ew, no, then they'd hate me," Derpy rolled her eyes - a rather dizzying motion to watch. "But with this party, I can finally show that I don't suck!" She flew into the air and did a loopdeloop. "And it was so awesome I just had to come tell you!"

The Doctor smirked, scruffing her mane. "Where's it happening?"

"Across the street! Rarity's house!"

The Doctor looked over at the house across the street. He saw Vinyl dragging a large speaker system through the front door. Rarity and... that new green girl were talking about... something and pointing at a table. Rarity looked upset, though she almost always did as far as the Doctor could tell.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Rarity mad at you or something?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh, that was just the silly cart race, I'm sure she's all fine now!"

"Well, far be it from me to stop you. Conquer this party with the might of a... a.."

"A what?"

"The metaphor escapes me at this moment."

"Manticore!" Roseluck yelled. 

"...Good enough."

"Yeah!" Derpy cheered. "I'll be like a manticore! Woot woo!" She flew off with the biggest grin on her face. The Doctor smiled as the little filly shrunk into the distance, waiting a minute before heading back to his house. He shut the door, positioning himself in front of the window. He stared at Rarity's house for a while.

Roseluck blinked. "...We're going to sit here and watch that house all night aren't we?"

"Yep."

"Doctor, you have zero resistance to adorableness."

The Doctor smirked. "And I have yet to regret that, my dear."

"Funny. I'll make some popcorn. Teenagers can do some stupid things at parties, I want to be prepared." She walked deeper into the house. "You might want to fix that sparking wire though! I can't find the kitchen!"

"Oh! Right!" He scrambled back into the grate. He took one look at the broken wire and knew what was needed. 

A blowtorch. 


~~~


"Ah'm tellin' ya, all we have to do is sneak out through the window! They'll never know!" Applejack said, munching on an apple, the light of the evening sun reflecting off it with a deep yellow glisten. 

Big Mac shook his head. "Applejack, Ah want to go to the party as much as you, but there's no way in Tartarus Mom n' Dad will let us go."

"That's why Ah said window ya dum-dum! Yeesh, you have any brains in there?"

"Nope, but Ah do have a nice ability to buck apple trees." With a swift kick, he knocked all the apples of the tree next to him. "And that, my little orange sister, is why Ah don't need brains."

Applejack scratched her muzzle. "Ah can do that too you know!"

"A perfect buck to a tree, all the apples in a bucket? C'mon, you ain't got nothin' like that yet. You're still little."

Applejack huffed, bucking a nearby tree. Several apples fell off into a basket, but more than three dozen remained in the tree.

Big Mac chuckled. "See?"

"You still admitted to not havin' any brains."

"Ah didn't say you had any either. Crawling out a window? The noise that'd make..."

"The noise you'd make on account of you being so big and strong."

"Nothing good comes without a price."

"Ugh, fine, how about we tell them we're going to spend the night at the Harvests'? They're going to the party and will back us up!"

"Mom'll know straight away we ain't bein' truthful."

"Then let me all the talkin', ya mule! Ah've gotten away with lots of stuff!"

"Oh, like you 'got away' with releasing the pigs?"

"They never proved anything!"

"Mhm. Sure, whatever you say. Ah'm not goin' along with this until you get an actual good idea."

"Well, besides just asking them and gettin' shut down I don't have any more ideas, picky."

"So we ain't goin'!" Big Mac retorted.

"Luna, you give up so easy..."

They wrapped up their apple-harvesting work and walked back towards the house in silence for the next little while as the sun began it's descent below the horizon. Applejack sighed when they passed through the gate.

"Look..." Big Mac said. "Ah know these things don't happen that often, and it probably would be an absolute 'ton' of fun, but... We've got rules and parents for a reason. And Ah don't think we should disrespect them like that."

"Yeah..."

"But you know what? We can still ask. They'll probably say no, they'll probably call us crazy for asking, but who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky."

Applejack nodded slowly. "Better than nothing Ah suppose..."

Big Mac walked up to the front door, gulping. Hey, Mom? Dad? We don't get to do much fun stuff around here, and it just so happens that a friend of mine - Vinyl's not really a good friend though - some friends of mine, Carrot and Bulk, are going to this party run by Tree Hugger, you know, that new kid in town? Apples, this sounds awful...

The front door of the house burst open. The Apple's parents rushed out, saddlebags on their backs packed with supplies for a long trip, panicked looks on their faces.

"W-what's going on?" Big Mac stuttered.

"Cousin Orange's farm experienced a rogue storm, mess-up from the weather department," their mother, Buttercup, said. 

"We're rushing out to help," Bright Mac added, shifting his saddlebags to a more comfortable position. 

"We'll be gone a few days, maybe a week. Granny knows what chores need to be done and the farm shouldn't need too much upkeep this time of year..."

"Buttercup, we have to go!"

"Yes, yes, love you two, don't burn the farm down!" And with that the couple galloped off down the road to the train station, leaving their two children to process the rapid sequence of events. 

Applejack blinked. "...We didn't ask them."

"Eenope."

"They're gone. Just left us like... that."

"Eeyep."

"Could we, you know, just... go?"

Big Mac frowned. "Well, Ah don't know, we should probably respect them..."

"But we won't know for sure! C'mon, Granny sleeps like a rock, we should get up and make a break for it!"

Big Mac nodded slowly. "Maybe... Ah'm likin' this plan a lot better than the last ones..."

"Ah knew Ah'd get a good one eventually!"

"So how exactly are we goin' to deal with Granny?"

"Tell her everythin' your plannin'."

Applejack and Big Mac turned to see Granny standing in the doorway, tapping her hoof. 

"Uh..." Applejack gulped. "Nothing! We were talking about... Chores! Right, chores?"

Big Mac facehooved. "Ignore her. Granny, uh, we were wondering if you would let us-"

"This is about that party ain't it?"

Applejack blinked. "How did...?"

"Applejack, there's less than five hundred ponies in this town. Ah know everypony here. Word travels fast."

"So uh..." Big Mac continued, swallowing hard. "We were wondering if..."

"You could go? Hm... Well it's at night, with a bunch of young and stupid ponies, and that delinquent Vinyl is basically running it... And your parents specifically told me they didn't want you going before they left... A responsible parent wouldn't let you go..."

Applejack and Big Mac drooped.

"Good thing Ah'm a grandmother. You only have one childhood, youngins. Go relish in it."

Applejack grinned from ear to ear. "Really?"

"You can count your boots on it!" Granny grinned back. 

Big Mac frowned. "But what about-"

"Ah'll deal with your parents if they find out. My mind hasn't started goin' yet!"

Big Mac laughed. "Thanks, Granny."

"Go to your friends. Have some fun. Ah'll keep them farm from burning down for one night."

"We should go tell Carrot. Form a troop!" Applejack suggested.

"...Another good idea," Big Mac said. "Where in the world do they keep coming from?"

"My vast intelligence."

Granny found this utterly hilarious, collapsing onto the ground in a laughing heap. Applejack narrowed her eyes, "...Let's go before we make her bust a rib."

Big Mac rolled his eyes. "Sure. Bye Granny!"

"Heheheh... Have fun, you whippersnappers!"

"We will!" They trotted off down the path into the orange light of the setting sun. 

Granny chuckled to herself. It was either going to be the best night ever for them, or the worst, and both would make good stories to tell later. Not to mention the two of them would get to live a little. She closed the front door and went to cook some dinner. Spaghetti would be good for tonight since she happened to have a pantry full of the stuff. She sung and danced as she cooked - sure, she got a little sore as she moved, but she wasn't that old yet. She wouldn't let herself be that old. 

She realized about ten minutes into the process that she was cooking for five again. "Well, whoops, Ah've done and mixed up the portions!" She shrugged. "Guess Ah'll just have to find someone to share it with. The pigs always appreciate a nice red sauce..." She looked outside - the sun had just barely finished its trek below the horizon and light was rapidly diminishing. "...It takes a lot longer to make spaghetti than I remember... Pigs are probably preparin' to sleep now. I wonder what Ah'll do with all this food now..."

She felt something wash over her. Her bones shook and trembled, and everything suddenly looked brighter to her. "...Wha?"

She saw little lights appear, lazily floating around her house. She shook her head  - magic sparks rarely came this far out of the Everfree Forest... She chuckled. "Must be a magic surge," she said, turning around. "Forest must look amazing right now."

She frowned. The Everfree forest was dark - just as dark as normal. She shook her head - why would there be Everfree Lights here and not in the forest they were supposed to be in? It didn't really make sense. And the lights were moving faster... 

"Odd," she said. "Why are you only here? That doesn't make a lick o' sense..." She swatted one with her hoof and it lazily drifted away. "That feels just like a Light... Ah feel it in my bones!"

The sparks didn't respond, merely deciding to move slightly faster.

"Ah don't know why Ah'm talkin' to you..." She turned back to her spaghetti, taking it off the stove and turning the heat off. She set it on the table, annoyed to find the sparks following her - shining brighter now. Or was it just that everything else had just gotten darker? It was a little hard to tell. 

"Okay, there's fishy, and then there's concerning..." Granny muttered, on her guard now. "Got a spirit here? Show yourself!"

The sparks were vibrating extremely rapidly now, faster than Granny had ever seen one of them move before. It was like they were trying to break something. 

And then there was a noise...

Something thumped against the front door, and all the sparks vanished in an instant. The lighting returned to normal and everything was fine. 

"...Huh," Granny said, taking a few moments to process the odd event. She then walked to the front door and opened it. 

Outside in the cold twilight was a white pegasus with a poofy yellow mane. The mare was passed out, mangy, covered in dirt, and looked like she had just spent the day in a forest. There were even a few branches sticking out of her tail, and a glowing blue flower petal in her mane. 

Granny wasted no time. she laid her hooves on the pegasus and dragged her in. "Let's get see what Ah can do for ya', poor thing. Got some extra spaghetti for if you'd like it."

The mare mumbled something about the sun but didn't open her eyes or become aware of her surroundings, instead remaining limp. Grany could tell she was distressed about something all the same. 

This poor soul... What had happened to her? 


~~~


"Oookay!" Tree Hugger said, marching into the center of the room. "I think we're ready to open this can of sick beats!"

Rarity stood alongside the slightly taller filly, nodding slowly. Her family's living room had been adorned with glowsticks hanging by strings and a number of tables filled with various snack foods and punch. The sofas and chairs had been moved to the side to make a 'dance floor' in the center, and Vinyl's giant DJ station stood towards the back wall, the two giant speakers dominating the attention of all who stood within the room. There was a laser machine hung between the two speakers, above Vinyl herself. 

Vinyl took a disc out from under her disc table and placed it on top. She pressed a few buttons, testing the tones to see if they were correct. She lit up upon completing all the tests - everything was as it should be. She gave the disc a scratch, tried a few lasers, then gave a hoof pump to signal readiness. 

"Good... Good..." Tree Hugger said, nodding slowly. "Do you have the stuff Berry?"

"I have all the punch. All of it," Berry said, saluting as she did so. "We have starfruit, strawberry, coconut, tropical, orange cream, blue, and the... green stuff that you brought over."

Tree Hugger nodded. "Great! I think we're ready to throw open the doors!"

Rarity held up a hoof! "Hold it!" She pointed at the ceiling. "There's no disco ball."

"Huh," Tree Hugger said. "...I could have sworn I put one up..."

Vinyl shrugged.

Rarity smirked. "Yes, yes, I have no idea what happened to it. But we do have a chandelier in the dining room that could be rotated with what should be an easy spell." She stared at Tree Hugger, her grin growing. 

"Huh, that's a good idea. Cool, Rars. You're more into this than I thought!" She gave Rarity a friendly slap on the back before heading with Vinyl into the kitchen. 

Berry sauntered up to Rarity. "That looks like it went pretty well."

"No it did not!" Rarity hissed. "I did not swipe the disco ball just so she... she'd like me! I'm better than her and she needs to know that!"

"Uh... I swiped the disco ball for you. You didn't do that."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Still... I need to do something to dent her..."

Berry rolled her eyes. "Look, we made our move already. There's going to be a party Rarity. Maybe you should try to enjoy it?"

Rarity scrunched her muzzle. "...Fine."

Tree Hugger and Vinyl came back into the party room, the crystalline chandelier carefully held in Vinyl's magic. "Don't drop it, dude..." Tree Hugger cautioned. Vinyl just nodded, expertly attaching it to the ceiling and setting it to spin slowly with her magic. She grinned, giving Rarity a pat on the back. 

Rarity shot Tree Hugger a smug look. Tree Hugger chuckled and smiled back, prompting Rarity's lips to curve downward. Rarity facehooved. "Let's just open this party up already."

"You two can get the door," Tree Hugger said, rising up to her hind hooves. "I'll be dancing."

While Vinyl leped back behind the booth, Rarity ran to the door and threw it open, just as the sounds of light dubstep started. "Welcome all, to my party!"

Cheerilee, Aloe, and Lotus were at the front. The twins giggled. "So adorable!"

Cheerilee shushed them. "Girls! Come on! Ahem..." She turned to Rarity, smiling sheepishly. "Which way?"

"Right to the left as you walk in!" Rarity said.

"Or just follow the sounds of dubstep," Berry added.

Cheerilee cocked her head to the side, flinging around her impressive frizzy mane. "Gladly. This is going to be awesome!"

"Oh, it most certainly will be!" Rarity said, waving as they entered. The filly then turned to the next group. "Hello, Hello! Why is that Thunder Lane I see before me? Heavens, what brings you to a place like this? Oh..."

The two greeted several ponies as they came in - and all of them looked really excited to see her and the party. Rarity was shining with pride by the time Big Mac arrived with his group - Applejack, Carrot, Golden Harvest, and Bulk. Bulk was having trouble keeping up with the rest of his friend. "Hey! Wait up!"

"You hear that?" Applejack said. "That's the sound of the world's laziest athlete!"

"Hey! It's not my fault I'm so heavy!"

Carrot raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that Bulk?"

"Uh... YEAH!"

"Oh no..." Golden covered her little ears. "Make him stooooop..."

"Ah can tell you right now that that'll never happen," Big Mac said. "Why, he was doing that 'YEAH' thing when we first met back in kindergarten. Wasn't as big then, but Ah'm pretty sure he was louder."

Golden's big filly eyes got bigger than they had any right to be. "No way... How's that even possible?"

"SWEAT!" Bulk yelled.

"And Ah now have no further desire to talk about this. Hey Berry, Rarity."

"Hello, and welcome to the wondrous party!" Rarity grinned.

"Someone's in a good mood," Carrot observed.

"Let her have this," Berry said. "She needs to eat up attention at least twice a week or she gets cranky. I'm hoping this'll carry her into next month."

Applejack and Golden chuckled at this. Rarity shot Berry a look. "I'm standing right here."

"That's what makes it funny!"

"I'm afraid I don't see how..."

"CAN WE GO IN YET!?" Bulk shouted.

"Oh! Yes of course! Follow the music!" Rarity grinned.

Golden looked up at Carrot. "I'm going to hang with Berry, okay?"

"Okay," Carrot said. "Just don't leave the house."

"I won't!" Golden trotted up to Berry and the two embraced. Rarity rolled her eyes. 

"Well, I'm sure you two can watch the door," Rarity observed. "I'm going to enjoy my party!" She trotted in slightly behind Big Mac and his friends.

Golden looked at Berry and giggled. "...Enjoy? Her?"

Berry shrugged. "Yeah, I really don't expect her to - welcome to the party Sparkler, follow the music - she's got this 'I'm better than Tree Hugger' thing going on in her head. I think she may be incapable of understanding that her 'rival' just doesn't care!"

"Biiiig surprise," Golden muttered. "Oh, hey Flutter, lookin' good! ...Why do you still hang out with her, Berry?"

"I owe her a lot," Berry said, "and I kinda think she'd fall apart without me to talk to."

"I don't envy you, Berry."

"Eh, I'm just a kid. Plus, it's kinda fun managing her antics." 

"You're crazy."

"What else is new?"

Then the next partygoer arrived - and Berry's cheerful face fell like a stone. 

"...What is it?" Golden asked.

Berry pointed at the pegasus outside - Derpy. "Hi Berry! Hi Golden! Some party huh?"

Golden blinked. "...What's wrong with Derpy? She's nice!"

"And Rarity has is absolutely, utterly, monstrously peeved at her!" Berry blurted.

Derpy gasped. "You shouldn't say the P word!"

Berry bit her lip. "Yeah, I know, just... Look, Derpy, you should probably just go before Rarity sees you or something."

Golden blinked. "Is she really that mad?"

"She put multiple days worth of work into that cart," Berry said. "And Derpy just trounced her effortlessly."

"Totally awesome, by the way!" 

"Thanks!" Derpy grinned.

"Yeah, it was, but Rarity rarely works hard on anything," Berry continued. "She could go nuclear on you for 'ruining' the one thing she bothered to devote herself too."

Golden frowned. "Berry's probably right Derpy... This could end badly."

"I'll just stay out of her sight then!" Derpy said.

Berry shook her head - 'Derpy' and 'stealth' were not two words that went together. "That... probably won't work."

Derpy glared. "...I had to convince my mom to let me come here! I'm not turning my back now!"

"Derpy..." Golden sighed. "I'm sorry but..." A spark of magic floated in front of her eyes, distracting her thought. "...Huh?"

Berry blinked, walking closer to Golden. "What is that?"

"I dunno, it looks sparkly. Mom described something like this in her tales of the Everfree Forest once..."

"What's it doing here?"

"I have no idea, Berry, but - hey where's Derpy?"

There was no sign of the gray pegasus. Ruby paled. "Oh no..."

Inside, Rarity was dancing with Thunder Lane, grinning madly. Maybe there was something to 'just having fun'. This was great - dancing, singing, talking - who cared about Tree Hugger? This was her party, and she was going to have the best night ever. Ever. She was mainly at ease because Tree Hugger was dancing with Bulk right now, and that just looked so stupid and awkward that there was no way anypony thought Tree Hugger was awesome in that moment.

"You go girl!" Cheerilee called to her. 

Rarity twitched. Leave it to Tree Hugger to figure out how to appease the older crowd. Rarity dropped Thunder Lane and moved to the punch table Cheerilee was at, attempting some recon. Aloe and Lotus were staring at the green concoction Tree Hugger had made. "I'm going to try it," Aloe said.

Lotus shrugged. "Your funeral."

"Come on, whatever's in it can't be that bad."

Tree Hugger had somehow managed to break off her dance with Bulk and come to the table. "Wheatgrass puree with some extra special ingredients. Healthiest thing on the planet." Rarity panicked - she couldn't ask about Tree Hugger when the mare in question was here! Truly, she was dealing with a mastermind of the social relations game... Rarity didn't know what she had been expecting. 

Lotus fixed Tree Hugger with a quizzical look. "...Bet it tastes gross."

"Oh yeah," Aloe added, sniffing it. "Most definitely."

"It is an acquired taste," Tree Hugger admitted. "But you could always try new things..."

Aloe downed a drink of it in one gulp to the surprise of Tree Hugger and Cheerilee. She gagged. "Well... that was nasty." She put her hoof over her stomach. "Ooogh..."

Tree Hugger laughed. "You really aren't supposed to drink it that fast! It has spices!"

"No kidding..."

"You okay?" Cheerilee asked.

"I'll be fine... Hoo boy..."

"I suggest the blue drink for a palette cleanse," Tree Hugger suggested. "Bit odd, but it's soooo refreshing."

"Thanks..." Aloe began to chug the blue punch. Tree Hugger smiled, said her goodbyes, and walked back into the regular party. 

Lotus watched Tree Hugger leave and pursed her lips. "What is she? Thirteen?"

Cheerilee shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that she's great. Look at this! nopony but her could get the kids and us having fun together! No offense to present company of course."

Rarity twitched. "...None taken..." she lied through her teeth. 

Cheerilee took no notice of Rarity's 'plight.' "She's just that... right age, you know, where everypony identifies with her."

"It's also nice she's so laid back!" Lotus added. "She's just always so calm and level-headed!"

"Yeah - glad she moved here."

"Me too."

Rarity slowly walked away. Well, she had enough information now, not that she liked it... 

"I... I think I'm going outside," Aloe said suddenly.

"Oh?" Lotus questioned.

"Think I'm going to be sick..." She rushed out of the house at high speed. 

"If I meet any hot guys I'll be sure to tell you!" Lotus called after her sister. She did not respond with anything coherent. 

"You know all the guys in Ponyville," Cheerilee observed.

"Yes. Yes I do. Yoo-hoo! Big Mac! Come try this punch~!"

Rarity tuned them out, ignoring the heavy breathing of Big Mac as she passed him. Rarity headed over to the swarm of foals her age that were trying to make a dancing pyramid and having marginal success. She considered becoming a part of the misguided stack of kids - but all thoughts of this were banished when she saw who was on top, held up by Applejack's hooves. 

Derpy.

The little ball of anger and stress that was Rarity almost became unhinged right then and there. She was a hair's breadth from unleashing her anger in front of everyone. But no - her desire to maintain her image won out. She took a breath - and lit her horn. The cherry punch was enveloped in a light blue magic and thrown through the air. By the time anypony saw it, there was no trace of Rarity's magic on it. 

It hit Derpy square in the back of the head, dousing her in a torrent of red fruity juice. She yelled out in panic, spastically flapping her wings. Rarity let a smirk come to her face - ponies were already pointing at the sputtering spectacle, and many were stifling chuckles. At least something was going right tonight.

And then Derpy hit the chandelier. 

Parts of the ornate decoration shattered on contact, scraping Derpy's back. The loose connection to the ceiling snapped, beginning the substitute disco ball's descent to the dance floor. Ponies scrambled out of the way with barely a second to spare. The chandelier hit the ground in a tremendous shower of shards and sparks. 

The music stopped. Everypony was silent. 

Derpy stuck her head out of the pile of kids she was in. "Uh... I... Just don't know what went wrong?"

Then Rarity snapped. "You buffoon! You've destroyed my chandelier! Do you have any idea how much that cost? My parents are going to grill me alive for this and it's all your fault!"

"But I..."

"You're leaving! Now!" Rarity yelled, grabbing the pegasus with her magic and dragging her away. 

"But..." Derpy looked around, eyes pleading. Tree Hugger looked like she wanted to say something, but averted her eyes. Applejack gulped and hid under her hat. But perhaps most heartbreaking of all was Golden moving to help her - and Berry stopping Golden with an outstretched hoof. Golden took one look at Berry's slowly shaking head and turned away. 

Rarity dragged Derpy out of sight, just before the pegasus started crying. Rarity threw Derpy out the door and scowled. "You... You..."

Derpy said nothing, she just kept sobbing.

"You have no right. Do you have any idea - no, no you don't." She looked around to see if the coast was clear. Upon seeing it was, she leaned in and whispered a single, nasty word in Derpy's ear. 

Derpy stopped crying instantly. She ran, flying across the street as fast as she could manage. 

Rarity nodded to herself. A job well done, in her book. She went back inside - Vinyl was cleaning up the glass with her magic. 

"Should we leave?" Rarity heard Carrot say.

"I don't know..." Cheerilee responded.

"No, don't leave," Rarity said, standing up on the DJ table. "I may be completely ruined now, but you know what? this is still a party, and we never get one of these. So let's put all this riff-raff out of our minds and get back to it!"

Tree Hugger nodded slowly. "She's right dudes, we can't let a disaster get in our way! Man, we're ponies!"

Vinyl leaped back to her station and started playing the dubstep again. 

Rarity smiled. That had worked out pretty well, considering. 


~~~


Granny set spaghetti in front of the pegasus mare. The mare simply stared at it with her faraway, lavender eyes. 

"Oh c'mon, it'll get cold if you don't eat up!"

The mare glanced at Granny for a split second - but hastily looked away the moment eye contact was established.

"Now listen to me, you've got nothin' to be afraid of!" Granny chuckled. "What's a little old mare like me going to do to you?"

The mare made eye contact - and held it. She blinked slowly. Granny felt as if she were under the watchful gaze of a princess deciding her fate. A normal mare would have found this unsettling. Granny just chuckled. "Oh, quite the game you got there missy!"

The mare blinked, still expressionless. She slowly turned back to the bowl of spaghetti in front of her. She took a long, deep sniff of it, wrinkling her muzzle. She touched it with her white hoof, the red sauce staining her fur. She held up the hoof in front of her eyes, contemplating deeply the red sauce upon it. Her left eye twitched involuntarily. She reached her tongue out and licked the sauce off her hoof. Her pupils contracted, eyes opening wider than Granny had thought was possible. The mare's wings spread out to maximum length. 

She blinked. 

"Good, ain't it?" Granny smirked.

The mare looked down at the bowl in front of her. She nodded slowly. Then she lifted the bowl in her hooves, brought it to her face, and started eating it faster than a parasprite. 

It was Granny's turn to blink. "...You must have been hungry there."

The mare put the emptied bowl down, her face marred with red sauce. She turned her gaze to the larger bowl of spaghetti Granny had spooned the portion out of.

"By all means, take it!" Granny laughed, taking a small bite from her own plate. "Celestia knows you need it!"

The mare downed the contents of the bowl, eating enough for four ponies in under two minutes. She let out a huge belch and tossed the bowl over her shoulder upon completion, where it shattered. 

Granny stared blankly. "...Er..."

The mare looked at the half portion Granny still had on her plate, eyes betraying eagerness. Granny shrugged. "Eh, sure, Ah have a bowl to clean up anyways..." She grabbed a broom and dustbin and started cleaning. 

The mare easily downed the half-portion and finally folded her wings back up. She stepped down from the table and went to a couch. The moment she set foot on it, she yawned, falling asleep a few seconds later. 

Granny chuckled. She poured the broken bowl into the trash and sat in the rocking chair alongside the couch. She watched as the mare slept.

"Ah wonder who you are..."


~~~


The Doctor looked out at Rarity's house. "That pink girl is still out there..."

"Alone," Roseluck reminded him. 

"She's been heaving over that bush for quite some time..." the Doctor muttered. "What are they serving in there to give her such indigestion?"

"Normal teenage stuff."

"That does not fill me with confidence."

Roseluck rolled her eyes. "It was probably just some bad punch or something. Relax."

"Maybe you're right."

"I'm always right."

"I seem to recall needing to explain a lot to you-"

"And then I got better than you. The student exceeded the master."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Exaggerations are your forte."

"Yeah," Roseluck agreed. "Look at those floating lights! Vinyl's little light show must be pretty impressive."

"Of that, I have little doubt. Though if her little magic sparks are leaving the house perhaps she could exercise some constraint..."

"Doctor-" Whatever Roseluck was going to say got cut short - for the front door of Rarity's house was flung open, revealing Rarity and Derpy. The Doctor could see Rarity scream at Derpy for a bit before getting close. Whatever Rarity said, it made Derpy bolt for the Doctor's house.

Roseluck sighed. "Well..."

The Doctor got up and opened the door for Derpy. The gray filly stumbled in, crying. "She... She... She.. She called me a... a..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.

The Doctor twitched. He had a few choice words for Rarity at that moment, but he put them aside. He brought Derpy close and took her further inside the house. "There there... Why don't we talk about this over some ice cream? That'll be good right?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Here you are. Rose, go get her mother."

Rose nodded, setting out into the night. As she left, she could hear the Doctor begin to ask Derpy what happened. 

Roseluck took one look at Rarity's house. The party seemed to still be going on - through the lights outside the house were gone, as was the pink mare that had been outside. She probably just got over her queasiness. 


~~~


Aloe coughed up the last contents of her stomach, steadying herself against an outside wall. She was vaguely aware of Rarity yelling something, but by the time she had her wits about her, the encounter was all over. 

She blinked - noticing that there were dozens of excited magical sparks vibrating around her rapidly. A new trick of Vinyl's? Probably. They were beautiful. Really accentuated the night, giving the slightest glow to the darkness. She found them... peaceful. 

At least until she heard the sound. She let out a small cry - it was too much for her taxed brain to comprehend. Her sense of hearing outright failed her, unable to process the sound, getting only bits and pieces - a horn honking, a revere chalkboard scratch, curtains tearing, a soft and eternal whine...

The Everfree Lights all stopped moving. There was a soft, orange light shining from behind her, casting her in silhouette, giving her the appearance of an angel in the darkness. 

She turned around. She saw the ghastly presence for only the slightest of moments. 

She vanished before she could formulate a scream. The thing, the Everfree Lights, Aloe - all of them gone without a trace in a single instant. 

Intense dubstep could be heard, muffled marginally by the walls of the house. The night was cold, dark, lonely, and above all- 

-uncaring.