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// 1 I'd Kill To Fall Asleep 
// Story: Raison D'être 
// by mechafone 
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Spark Storm laid awake for what seemed like hours. It had been nearly a week since the incident that had landed him sleeping out in the woods. Well, trying to sleep.

When Spark had come to his senses after his melt-down, he had fainted from exhaustion. His friends all stayed with him for days, until he made them leave. His exile was his own, and he wouldn't have them halting their own lives just for him.

It had taken some convincing, but after a while all but Ditzy had left. She absolutely refused to leave his side. She was sleeping at his side now, pressed against him for warmth, the spring air still chill at night.

Spark laid where he was, feeling himself nod off. But each time, he would start to see visions of the week before and snap awake. It was taking it's toll on him physically. It was completely exhausting.

After a while of being awake, he decided he needed something to do. He sat up, waking Ditzy. "Spark...are you ok? What are you doing getting up in the middle of the night?" He got to his hooves shakily, swaying a bit as his balance was missing due to his exhaustion.

"I don't know, Ditzy. I can't sleep. I keep seeing it whenever I try..." Ditzy stood with him and braced herself against him for his balance and nuzzled him affectionaltey. "Anything I can do to help?"

Spark looked back at her, blinking through the sleep gathered at the corners of his eyes. "You can go home so I can stop worrying about you." Ditzy shook her head, shivering a bit in the cold. The moon overhead, bright and full, allowed for nearly clear vision.

"It's not gonna happen, Spark. I won't leave you." As she finished speaking, her stomach grumbled loudly, piercing the night silence. Spark arched a brow at her almost angrily. "When was the last time you ate something?"

Ditzy blushed and looked down at the ground as her stomach called for food again. "I don't know...three days maybe?" Spark sighed and pushed gently against her as he started to walk. "Look, I won't have you starve out here. I'm taking you home."

Ditzy gasped and pulled away from her like she'd been stung. "But..." He glared back at her, his golden eyes shining in the moonlight. "No buts. I have to be out here, but you don't. I'm taking you home so you can rest and eat."

Ditzy frowned at him, but she knew he was right. She was starting to feel much too weak. How could she protect him if she fainted? "...All right. You're right..."

The two made their way back out of the Everfree. Spark's eyes started to water as he saw the town, but he shook it off. He had to get Ditzy home.

The two walked through the empty streets. It all seemed the same to Spark. He had thought that the place would change, that things would look different, though he didn't really know why he'd thought that. Nothing looked out of place.

Finally, they reached Ditzy's home. The door was locked, and Ditzy didn't have a key. "Hold on, Spark," she whispered. She flew up into the air, and slipped inside her room window.

There were voices suddenly coming from where she'd gone in, and Spark figured she'd been caught by her parents. At least now they'd make sure she ate something and stayed home, where it was warm. He turned around and headed back the other way when the front door opened and an adult Pegasus came at him.

Spark was too tired to defend himself, so he just braced for pain. He was caught up in a pair of forelegs however, and squeezed. He looked up, and noticed tears in the mare's eyes. "Oh, Spark...thank you for bringing Ditzy home. Thank you..."

Ditzy's mother brought him inside and made him a sandwich, which he hungrily devoured. She gave him water, then fitted him with saddlebags filled with sandwiches and several bottles of water.

As he was getting ready to go, she rested a hoof on his back and smiled at him. "Spark, Ditzy really wants to see you before you go." He took off his saddlebags, then headed up to Ditzy's room. She was tucked into bed, barely awake.

He walked to her bedside. When she noticed him, she sat up and wrapped her forelegs around him. She tried to hold in her emotions, and she let slip a couple of silent shuddering sobs. "Spark Storm...my mom says it's time to stay home, and..."

Spark rubbed her back comfortingly. He knew how important her promise to Sapphire was. "I know, Ditzy. It's better this way, though." She shook her head, her blonde mane shaking crazily. "No. It's not better for you. I don't want to stay."

He sighed, holding her tighter. "I know you don't...but this is my situation, not yours. I don't want you out there if you don't have to be. You belong here in Ponyville where you're safe."

Ditzy pressed her face against his neck. She had taken comfort in his presence since the day she met him six years ago. She could never tell him how much he meant to her.

After a moment, her breathing became slow and even. She'd fallen asleep in his arms. Carefully, he tucked her into bed, then went downstairs to gather his things. Ditzy's mother gave him a huge hug, her wings draped around him like a blanket. "Thank you for being a friend to her, Spark. You mean more to her than you'll ever know."

Spark returned to the Everfree. His exile seemed much colder now, much more foreboding, now that Ditzy was gone. Now that he was alone, he felt afraid. He felt lonely. With a trembling sigh and a heart almost too heavy to carry, Spark returned to the woods. For the first time in a week, he finally felt truly alone.