//------------------------------// // Part I: Moon of Remorse || Chapter 8: Revelations // Story: Full Circle // by Sotharan //------------------------------// Tuesday afternoon Celestia came home early to take Sunset to the doctor’s office. Rainbow headed home with well wishes. “I hope it’s only good news!” she cried as she headed out the door. After Celestia helped Sunset get dressed, they headed slowly down the stairs and out the front door to Celestia’s car. The drive to the doctor’s office was relatively short, and soon they found themselves in the waiting room. “Dr. Turner has been my doctor for many years, Sunset,” said Celestia quietly. “He and I actually went to school together. I trust him completely.” “Does that mean…” “Yes, he knows you are…not from around here. Don’t worry. He’s very gentle, and very good at what he does. Sunset, obviously you are old enough to see him by yourself, but would you mind if I came too? I want to make sure I know how to take care of you.” “Yes! Please come too!” said Sunset vehemently. Celestia tried to smile at her reassuringly. All too soon the nurse came and called Sunset back. Soon they were in an exam room and Sunset’s vital signs were taken. She was given a gown to change into. The nurse left and they waited a few minutes as Sunset slowly changed. There came a knock on the door and shortly thereafter a kind-faced man entered with an air of energy and authority, his spiky brown hair practically crackling with electricity. “Tia! So good to see you!” He and Celestia shared a warm embrace. “Time! It’s been too long,” said Celestia, stepping back and rubbing his arm affectionately. “We always say that. Let’s do better!” he said with a wink. Celestia blushed slightly, but her smile stayed in place. He looked over at Sunset and gave her a warm smile. “And this must be the young lady in question.” He stood next to her as she sat on the exam table and extended a hand. “Hello, Sunset. Time Turner, MD, at your service. It’s nice to meet you.” Dr. Turner’s bedside manner was very good – Sunset found some of her apprehension leaving her. She gave him a wan smile in return and shook his hand. He sat down in a chair next to the exam table. “Sunset, Celestia and I have been friends for a very long time. We trust each other completely. Also, in our world, physicians and patients have complete confidentiality. So I’m not even allowed to disclose anything that we discuss here without your consent, unless it’s necessary to save your life in an emergency. Of course, as long as you are…” he coughed, “…’under 18’, Celestia has the right to know some of your information as well, and gets a vote in most decisions. Do you understand? Do you have any questions?” “I understand. No questions.” “Good. Now, there’s no rush. You’re the last patient of the day, and so we have plenty of time, because we have a lot to cover. Let’s start with the easy stuff first. How’s your knee?” “Stiff and painful. But the ibu…profen? It helps some.” “You said it right. Good, I’m glad it helps. Let me take a quick look at your knee myself.” He did a physical exam similar to the one done by the physician at the urgent care center and came to the same conclusion. “Physical therapy and it will recover. I agree with the urgent care provider. Let me put the referral in before I forget.” He turned to a nearby computer and typed for a few minutes. Next, he examined the rest of Sunset’s body, noting the various bruises and scratches. “I understand you got these cuts and bruises by falling into…a crater?” “I’m afraid so. It was…exceptionally embarrassing. Nope -- that's an understatement. It was humiliating. In every sense of the word.” Dr. Turner digested this for a moment, then moved to Sunset’s back. The new scars did not escape his attention. “These scars look fairly new. Did they happen at the same time as the event in question?” Sunset looked confused. “Scars? I didn’t know I had any.” Dr. Turner hmm’d to himself and pulled a small mirror out of a drawer. He held it up to Sunset’s back so that she could see the faint pink lines that ran down her shoulder blades, and the circular pink spot on her lower back. She sighed heavily. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” she said dejectedly. “So you know how you got them?” “Yes. At least, I’m pretty sure.” “And?” Sunset turned to look at him sadly. “Didn’t Celestia tell you that I underwent a…transformation?” “Yes, but she hasn’t given much detail.” “I see,” said Sunset softly. “Well, I imagine those scars are where the wings and tail used to be.” “Wings and tail?” “Wings and tail.” Dr. Turner looked pointedly at Celestia. Celestia nodded ruefully. Dr. Turner just shook his head. He pressed on the scars gently. “Do they hurt?” “No. I suppose I should be grateful for that.” “Yes – some scars can be painful. The good news is that these are very small and appear to be healing very well. While they're a bit raised right now, in about a year, they will have faded to a nearly white color and will most likely be flat. The ones on your upper back are very narrow – only about three millimeters. Since you’re pretty fair skinned, eventually they’ll really only be visible if you know to look, or if you get a tan. Which I can’t recommend to anyone.” Sunset just nodded. Dr. Turner then noticed Sunset’s cutie marks. “These tattoos – where did you get them?” Celestia sat up. “Tattoos?” Sunset sighed again. “They aren’t tattoos. They’re…cutie marks,” she mumbled as she blushed. “Come again?” said Dr. Turner. Sunset took a deep breath as though bracing herself for something. “They’re called…cutie marks. They…are magical.” Dr. Turner just stared at her, as did Celestia. “Equestrian ponies, around the age of puberty, give or take a couple years, get marks on their flanks when they discover their special talent. The marks appear magically and never fade. In fact, because they are magical, even if the skin of a cutie mark is injured it always heals perfectly,” Sunset explained. “That’s…amazing,” said Celestia. “Yeah, getting your cutie mark is a pretty big deal. There’s usually a party and sometimes it leads to a change in schooling or vocation.” “What does yours mean?” Celestia asked with interest. “Can we talk about it later?” Sunset pleaded. Celestia relented immediately. “Of course, sweetie.” Dr. Turner finally commented. “Well, I’m kind of glad they’re not tattoos. I’ve got nothing against them as long as they’re done right, but if they aren’t they can risk exposure to hepatitis. How are you feeling in general?” “Exhausted. Weak. Stiff.” “How have you been sleeping?” “Like a rock, except for the nightmares.” “Oh? How many nightmares?” “Every night so far, except the first night.” “But you can go back to sleep after the nightmares?” “Yes. Celestia and Luna – they stay with me and…comfort me.” Sunset blushed slightly, looking away. “How have you been eating recently?” “Very well. Again, Celestia and Luna are taking good care of me.” Dr. Turner smiled, then seemed to think for a minute. “Well, I don’t know a thing about magic. But it sounds to me like the exhaustion and weakness might be from the thing that hit you. We’ll do some blood tests to make sure. If that’s the case, I can’t predict how long recovery might take.” “Dr. Turner, where I come from, I’m considered to be a magical prodigy. But the thing that hit me – I’ve never heard of it. I have no idea either.” “Ok. We’ll have to play it by ear. I have some other questions I have to ask. Some of them will be a bit personal, but I need to ask them to take proper care of you. Ok?” “Ok.” “You’ve been here for a couple years already, right?” “Two and a half years.” “Ok, have you noticed anything that makes you different from other humans – any equine characteristics that may have persisted from your original form?” “No. Nothing. I…” Sunset blushed again. “It’s ok. Go on.” “I even have a…monthly cycle – not estrus like back in Equestria.” “Fascinating. I’ll trust Celestia to make sure you are set up to take care of that, though I do need to ask you if the cramps are bad.” “The first time, they were horrible, but since then they’re manageable. And now that I know about ibuprofen…” “That can help quite a bit, I’m told. Let’s talk about your family history.” Sunset froze. “Uh…” “I can’t say that it will help much, but if chronic diseases are similar here and in your world, it could be useful to know if anything runs in the family.” Sunset still didn’t answer. She looked extremely uncomfortable. “Sunset, what is it, sweetie?” Celestia asked with concern. Sunset swallowed, then took a deep breath. Unable to lie, she knew she would have to answer the question, so she decided to jump right in. “I don’t know my family history. I have no blood relatives that I know of,” she said, looking straight at Celestia. Celestia gasped. Dr. Turner waited patiently, having realized that Celestia had not known this. Celestia got up slowly and came to stand next to Sunset. “Sunset…does that mean…you were an orphan?” Sunset nodded sadly as a tear rolled out of her left eye. There followed a few moments of tense silence as Celestia looked down at her in complete amazement. Sunset broke the silence. “Yes, Celestia. I didn’t know what to do at the courthouse – I guess I didn’t want to scare you. But I can tell you this – when you adopted me, you became the only mother I have, in this or any world.” Celestia looked back at Sunset with fierce intensity. “I did what I wanted to do, and I don’t regret it. In fact, I think I’m even more glad that I adopted you than ever before. And I won’t fail you.” Celestia wrapped her arms around her adopted daughter and held her tightly. Sunset leaned into the embrace with gratitude and relief. “If a true mother is what you need, Sunset, then that is what I will be to you,” Celestia finished softly. Sunset let out a single sob, but managed to keep from crying. Dr. Turner looked on. He was pleased – this seemed like a healthy development. After a few more moments, Celestia gave Sunset an unabashedly fond smile, but did not leave her side. “Are you ready to answer some more questions?” she asked Sunset gently. Sunset nodded a bit breathlessly and looked back at Dr. Turner, though she continued to cling to Celestia shamelessly. “Ok, well, let’s move on.” Dr. Turner proceeded to question Sunset about her dietary and bowel habits, what illnesses she had had in both her childhood and since coming to the human world, and if she had ever had any allergic reactions. She answered as best she could. Finally he sighed. “Well, since I can’t tell for sure whether any of the illnesses you had back in Equestria are the same as the ones here, the best approach will be to test your antibodies. That way, we’ll know what immunizations to give you. I assume you haven’t had any?” “Not since coming here. We don’t have them in Equestria either, since most illnesses can be cured by magic.” “Sounds like a wonderful world in some ways. We’re going to do some other basic blood tests too – I want to make sure you’re not malnourished. It can be tough to be a vegetarian as a human, especially in terms of getting enough protein. Your Body Mass Index is 19 and that’s perilously close to underweight. She needs to eat a bit more, Tia,” he finished with a pointed look at Celestia. “Won’t that be difficult?” she asked Sunset with a wink. Sunset smiled back. “We’ll check your blood type and make sure you’re not anemic, too,” Dr. Turner said, looking back at Sunset. “Ok, now I need to ask the really personal questions. Do you want Tia to step out for a minute?” “No, I don’t mind.” “Ok. If you change your mind, we can stop any time. First, have you ever used any drugs like cocaine, heroin, marijuana – those kinds of things?” Sunset’s eyes widened. “No, never!” “Ok, how about prescription drugs – Percocet, Oxycodone, etc.” “No, none of that. I like to be able to think clearly, at least most of the time.” “Alcohol?” Sunset paused. “Well, yes. I’ve been known to drink a bit from time to time.” Celestia’s eyes widened a bit, but she didn’t seem too surprised. “It’s uh…legal at my age back in Equestria,” Sunset explained. “But not here, even if we go by your true age,” Celestia said a bit sternly. “So there won’t be any more of that for a while.” Sunset nodded sheepishly. “When was the last time you drank alcohol?” Dr. Turner asked. “A couple weeks ago.” “And have you ever been drunk? Passed out? Blacked out? Vomited?” “I’ve had a buzz before, but none of those other things. When you’re as alone as I’ve been, it’s not safe to get hammered.” “Alright. Now perhaps the most uncomfortable question of all, but I need to know the answer. Any sexual activity, here or in Equestria?” Sunset blushed again, but was pretty quick to answer, “No. Nothing.” Celestia looked at Sunset encouragingly. “Are you sure? I won’t be upset. You were dating Flash up until recently, weren’t you?” “Yes, but we didn’t get that far, and he’s a gentleman anyway. I…wasn’t very nice to him, actually. I’m surprised he stuck around as long as he did.” Sunset paused for a moment. “Romance hasn’t exactly been on my agenda for the past few years,” she finished, looking up at Celestia ruefully. “Which brings us to the plan,” said Dr. Turner. “For the knee, PT, ibuprofen, rest, crutches. You can bear weight as tolerated. For the weakness and fatigue, we’re going to have to wait and see, as I said earlier. The bruises and scratches will heal on their own. Once we get the lab results, we can see if you need anything else, to include immunizations. For now, Tia, keep her away from sick people. We don’t know what she’s susceptible to. And there are two more things to consider.” Sunset and Celestia both looked at Dr. Turner with interest. “Thing number 1,” Dr. Turner began, “is to get a full body MRI of you, Sunset. Here’s why – I need to make sure that everything is in its proper place. I know you haven’t noticed any equine characteristics that have persisted in your human form, but you can’t look inside your own body. If you ever needed surgery for some reason, we need to know that your anatomy is normal.” Sunset’s eyes were wide. “What’s an MRI?” “It’s not invasive. Just a scan of your body using magnets. Are you claustrophobic at all?” “Uh, no…” “Then most people take a nap while the scan is happening. You just lie there in a tube for about 45 minutes.” “Oh. That doesn’t sound too bad.” “No, you’ll be fine. Here’s the second thing. You’ve been through a rough time, whether you brought the most recent challenges upon yourself or not. Being an orphan, especially if you weren’t adopted before now, is tough enough. Combine that with a falling out with someone who was probably the most important figure in your life, trying to adapt to a new world, relative homelessness, maladaptive social habits, and, from what I’ve heard from Celestia, being made to confront all your mistakes AND all your loneliness in one fell swoop – well, I’d be surprised if you weren’t a bit…shaky with regard to your mental health.” Sunset and Celestia both stared at Dr. Turner with wide eyes. Sunset recovered first. “Well…when you put it that way…” “I think you could use some counseling, Sunset,” said Dr. Turner firmly. Sunset shrugged her shoulders – she didn’t know what that entailed. Celestia was nodding, however. “So, I’ll put in a referral for that as well.” After having her blood drawn, Sunset was taken home by Celestia. She was out of energy for the time being, so Celestia let her rest on the couch in the living room. It wasn’t long before Applejack arrived – she’d be staying through tomorrow afternoon. “Howdy, partner. Everything go ok at the doc’s?” she asked good naturedly, sitting down in a chair across from Sunset and taking out her homework. The sounds of Celestia preparing dinner could be heard from the kitchen. “Yeah,” Sunset answered. “They’re doing some tests, but just routine stuff.” “Does the doc know…” “That I’m actually a unicorn from another world? Yeah. Celestia says she trusts him.” “Well, that’s good.” “Yeah.” Applejack looked at Sunset out of the corner of her eye for a moment. “You don’t seem too relieved, sugarcube. You ok?” Sunset didn’t respond right away. “Yeah, just really tired. And at the doctor’s…I had to be honest about some stuff that I was hoping to keep to myself for a little while yet.” Applejack tried not to react, but Sunset anticipated her thoughts. “Don’t worry – nothing bad, just…personal stuff,” she clarified. “Ah, ok…” “I’ll tell you and the girls too, don’t worry. No sense having any secrets anymore, I guess.” “Now hold on, partner,” said Applejack, thinking of Pinkie Pie’s ‘total surrender’ comment. “We want to treat you like a person. You get to keep some things to yourself. We don’t want to just…steamroll you,” she pointed out gently. “Well, let me tell you then – right now, AJ, it looks like I can’t lie. At all. About anything. Actually I can’t even refuse to answer a question.” “Wow. Ah…don’t get it.” “I think it’s an effect of the Rainbow Wave. So, I guess…just be careful what you ask me. Because I’ll have to answer. And I’ll have to tell the truth.” “Ok, now Ah see what you’re saying. And to be honest, we kinda suspected as much. So we’ve been trying to watch out for your privacy a bit.” Sunset seemed relieved. “Oh, thanks, AJ. That’s reassuring.” “Sure thing.” The two girls sat in companionable silence for a while as Applejack started on her homework. Luna arrived home shortly thereafter and was immediately interested in how the doctor’s appointment had gone as well. Not long after that it was time for dinner. Following a mouth-watering dinner consisting of stir fry and rice, the four ladies retired to the living room again. Once everyone was comfortable, Celestia had some questions for Sunset. “Sunset, if you’re willing, we’d like to know a bit more about you. We…don’t even know the story of how you got here, and…” “I know. The bomb I dropped on you at the doctor’s office, right? Well, you deserve not to have any more surprises. And I do trust you all – Applejack and the other girls included. I’m willing.” “But we have to be careful, Ms. Celestia,” interjected Applejack on Sunset’s behalf. She then explained what Sunset had told her earlier about being unable to lie or refuse to answer questions. “Ah. I see,” said Celestia. “Well, Applejack is right, Sunset. We want to allow you some privacy. So how about this? If we have specific questions, we’ll phrase them in such a way as to allow you to express whether you want to answer or not. And I think the best approach is to let you tell the story, for now, the way you wish. Will that be ok?” “Yes, thank you.” “Alright. Please tell us your story, as you see fit.” Sunset took a deep breath and launched in. She told them about how she had been found as a foal, nearly frozen to death, on the side of a mountain. Her parents’ bodies were never found, and she still didn’t even know who they were. She had been taken in as a ward of the state in Canterlot, which was the nearest town. Her foalhood there had been relatively happy, as she was treated well. As she had grown, her exceptional magical aptitude had become apparent and had attracted the attention of the High Princess herself. Here, Sunset slowed down. “So, now I have to tell you something that will be pretty amazing. And frankly, Celestia, it may have quite a bit to do with why I’m here, right now, in your house, with you as my adopted mother. First, let me make sure you know that it appears that ponies in Equestria and humans in this world are often counterparts of each other; in other words our two worlds appear to be parallel rather than completely unrelated. In fact, part of the reason why Princess Twilight was able to earn the friendship of Applejack and the other girls so quickly is because she is such good friends with their counterparts back in Equestria.” “That’s true,” Applejack agreed. “Pretty trippy concept, but there it is.” “So, turns out,” Sunset continued uncomfortably, “that the High Princess of Equestria, the sovereign ruler, my mentor, who took me in as her personal student when I was eight…well…she’s your counterpart, Celestia. Her name is Celestia too.” A falling eyelash might have been heard in the silence that followed, let alone a pin. “Which means that your counterpart is a Princess, too, Luna. She is co-ruler with Princess Celestia, who is her big sister,” Sunset added. The silence intensified. “They actually resemble both of you, especially your skin, hair, and eye colors. And you have similar personalities to theirs, too.” Celestia and Luna slowly turned to look at each other, then back at Sunset. Applejack spoke first, her eyes wide with stunned astonishment. “Well. That’s a piece of news and no mistake.” “I guess one can’t escape one’s destiny,” Sunset mused quietly. “I came here fleeing from a disagreement with Princess Celestia. And whose authority do I end up under in my new world? Why yours, of course,” she said, looking at Celestia. At last Celestia found her voice. “That is…extremely interesting, Sunset. Why don’t you go ahead and finish your story for now, and we’ll discuss all the implications in a bit.” Sunset shifted uncomfortably and continued. “Well, as I said, Princess Celestia saw my potential and took me in as her personal student and ward. I was told that no unicorn in a thousand years had demonstrated the level of ability that I had. For nine years I was trained by her and learned directly from her. At first our relationship was very close, and I have to admit, I looked up to her as a mother-figure. But there was never anything formal – no adoption.” While she did not appear to be conscious of it, Sunset could not hide some sadness when she told them this. The others continued to listen with rapt attention. “In the last year of my tutelage I grew impatient. It seemed to me that Princess Celestia was holding me back from my true potential, as she refused to teach me some of the more advanced spells and allow me access to the restricted areas of the magical library. She started to try to teach me about friendship and relationships. I thought those things were a waste of time. I’d always been very studious and focused, and I never was close to anyone but her. I had become arrogant and entitled. To top it off, one day she took me to the mirror, which turned out to be the portal to this world. But if you look in it when it isn’t open, it can show you things. When I looked into it, I saw myself as an alicorn princess. To this day, I don’t know if the mirror shows you your destiny, or only what your heart desires. But, from that day forward, becoming an alicorn princess was the only thing I cared about.” “What is an alicorn?” asked Luna. “An alicorn is a special kind of pony who has the characteristics of all three pony tribes: Earth, Pegasus, and Unicorn. They are very rare, and very powerful. Princess Twilight is one, as are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.” “I see,” said Luna. Sunset continued. “I wouldn’t leave Princess Celestia alone about it. Things got more and more tense between us, until at last I lost my temper. I was horrible.” Here, Sunset hung her head, and a few tears leaked from her eyes. “I wish I could take back what I said. Basically, I demanded she make me an alicorn and give me a crown, but she said I had to earn those things and that I wasn’t ready. I was livid. I accused her of holding me back out of fear that I would surpass her. She…got angry too. She…terminated my studies and banished me from the castle.” Sunset stopped talking for a while. All three of them could see the deep sorrow in her eyes. “Well,” Sunset continued after a moment, “I wasn’t one to take such a thing lying down. I vowed to surpass her still, and as her guards escorted me from the castle, I overpowered them and fled to the mirror. I saw that the portal was open and, having nothing left for me in Equestria, I went through. That was in March of 2011 on your calendar. I was 16.” “Oh, Sunset,” said Celestia compassionately. After a moment, she asked Sunset to continue and tell about her time in the human world. “Well, it took me a few weeks to figure things out. The hardest thing was adapting to not being able to use magic. For unicorns, using magic is like breathing or eating. It’s that natural and instinctive, though in my case using magic was also my chosen vocation and my gift. It was…very, very painful to learn to live without it. I still miss it terribly. Anyway, I found the warehouse the first night, and soon learned how to steal food without getting caught. Eventually I learned that I looked like a high school student and could pass for one, so I forged some paperwork and enrolled at CHS for the 2011-12 school year as a freshman. At CHS, I was able to intimidate and bully almost anyone I wanted to, so I had food, clothes, and frankly sometimes I slept in the library. I used the gym showers, since the warehouse didn’t have any running water. I think…I just kept getting more and more…evil,” she said with true sadness and regret. “I’m so sorry for all of that, Celestia and Luna. I did awful things behind your back.” “What was your plan, Sunset?” asked Celestia. “World domination, what else?” Sunset asked bitterly. “Seriously, when you’re told you have the kind of potential I was told that I have, you kind of view it as your birthright that you’ll become someone important and powerful. At first, I just planned to rise as high as I could in this world. I didn’t plan to return to Equestria until I really was more powerful in some way than Princess Celestia, so that I could…defeat her and prove I was better. Over time, though, I researched the portal. It had closed almost immediately after I passed through. But I learned that every full moon it would partially open – not enough to pass through, but enough for me to be able to use some magic. I would use spells to learn the news from Equestria. Eventually I learned that another of Princess Celestia’s students – one that I didn’t know well – had achieved what I had not. She had become an alicorn and been crowned a princess – Twilight Sparkle. I was so jealous – I thought I had been replaced. I learned, too, that she had in her possession the Element of Magic, a powerful magical artifact. I decided to steal the Element from her the next time the portal opened; by doing this I would kill four birds with one stone: I could embarrass Princess Celestia’s star student, I could weaken Princess Twilight at the same time, I could bring the Element of Magic back to this world to gain, as I thought, access to my own magic once more, and I could ascend to become an alicorn myself. Then, I would return to Equestria, later, at the head of an army and conquer it.” Applejack whistled, shaking her head. “Dang, girl! Talk about some ambitious plans.” Celestia’s face was grim, and Sunset didn’t fail to notice. Tearfully, she admitted, “Yes, Celestia. Now you see. You’ve had a true, villainous megalomaniac on your hands. There’s no two ways about it.” Celestia still didn’t speak, so Sunset continued to talk, but this time she was crying the whole time. “Now you know all of it. And I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could undo it. My life for the past three years – maybe my whole life – has been a waste. And I’ve hurt so many people. I can still see their faces…but the worst thing of all is how I treated the mare who raised and taught me. She gave me food, shelter, her time – and I threw it all back in her face. No wonder everything since then has been…a horror. No wonder I turned into a demon.” “That wasn’t part of your plan?” asked Celestia quietly. “Not at all! All I thought would happen would be that I would have access to my magic again. But instead, the Element of Magic turned me into the literal personification of the desires in my heart. And I lost my mind, too! I was out of control! I did…things, as you know…that I would never have contemplated in my right mind!” “So you had not planned to use physical violence against Twilight, or to take control of all of our minds?” “No, absolutely not! But I think the lesson of the Element is pretty clear, don’t you? That was the path I was on! If I’d kept going down that road, I’m sure murder and destruction would have been viable options eventually!” At last Sunset dissolved into bitter tears and could say no more. There was silence for a time. Luna and Applejack both looked at Celestia, who continued to look at Sunset with an expression of concern. At last Celestia spoke. “Sunset, do you want to continue to be a villainous megalomaniac?” “NO! Of course not! I’d rather die than be like that anymore! Oh, if only I could put into words how much I wish I could take it all back! I’d do ANYTHING to be able to take it all back! And so much of what I’ve done has been against you and Luna, behind your backs! I deceived you into thinking I was a model student! Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” She continued to sob. Celestia’s face softened. “Then that is the key, my little sun. Yes, you have behaved deplorably. But we forgive you for who you were and what you did in the past. And the past does not have to define your future. We have already talked about this a bit – there is a way forward. Remorse and regret – those you have. Even more important is that you want to change. There is hope, darling. Please remember!” “There’s such a long way to go!” Sunset lamented. “But you don’t have to go the whole way today. Just one step at a time.” Sunset sighed, getting herself under control. “I know. Or rather, I’m learning. One step at a time.” “Thank you for telling us all of that,” said Celestia gently. “I know it wasn’t easy. But now we understand you better, and that will help us to be better family and friends to you.” “You’re…welcome, I guess,” said Sunset, wiping away a few last tears. Applejack brought her some tissues. Later that evening, Sunset sat in her bed, putting some finishing touches on her day’s schoolwork. While she couldn’t claim to be particularly enamoured of the assignment she was working on, it took her mind off Other Things, so it wasn’t all bad. She looked up as Celestia came into the room, closing the door behind her. The distant sound of Applejack taking a shower could be heard through the wall. Celestia pulled Sunset’s desk chair up to the bed and sat down. She reached out, without a word at first, and put her hand on Sunset’s arm. “Sunset, are you ok?” “That’s not an easy question to answer. Am I alive, breathing, and not currently in significant physical pain? Yes. Do I have any clue what I’m doing or where I am or what’s happening to me? Barely. Am I at peace, calm, and ready to face the night, let alone tomorrow? I doubt it…” “Then I am here to try to reassure you, and to say goodnight. What you did today was very hard. I know that. You bared your soul to us, and didn’t hold anything back. Not anything significant anyway, as far as I can tell. If you feel…exposed, vulnerable, embarrassed, ashamed – that would all be understandable.” Sunset looked down for a moment. “Thanks. I appreciate you saying that,” she murmured. “I feel all those things. All those things and more.” “I meant what I said earlier,” said Celestia, reaching up to run her fingers through Sunset’s hair. “I don’t regret adopting you at all, and Luna is still very glad you are here. She will tell you her own story soon – it’s not really all that different from yours, in the end. Now listen.” Sunset looked up and focused on Celestia’s face. “You are a special girl. You have been given many gifts. You are pretty, exceptionally bright, and very strong inside. Maybe you have used these gifts for dark purposes before, but that is over now. I truly want to give you another chance, Sunset, and Luna and the girls do too. Please, I want you to know that you are safe here. Safe to grow and change and heal.” Sunset gave Celestia a small smile in answer. Celestia continued to stroke Sunset’s hair for a while, which Sunset did in fact find very calming. “I didn’t believe in destiny up until now,” Celestia told her. “But given what you told us today – I can’t help but wonder.” “I know. The whole thing is pretty…astounding, really.” “I think I know what you meant, when you implied that it was ironic that you ended up ‘under my authority’.” Sunset just blushed a little, with a small snort. “For what it is worth, I think if Princess Celestia knew that you were in my care, she would be very relieved.” “If she still cares at all…” Sunset whispered bleakly, looking away. Celestia took a deep breath, then let it out with a heavy sigh. “I have a feeling, Sunset, that she does still care. Very much.” Sunset could not help but look up at Celestia with wary interest. To her surprise, Celestia’s eyes were very sad. “If she is anything like me, and you have said that she is, then I have a feeling you aren’t the only one with regrets.” “I…don’t understand.” “You will, in time. For now, just remember what I have said. Time will tell if I am right or not. Good night now, my little one. Applejack will be here soon. As usual, if you need company in the night, we will be ready.” “Thanks.” Celestia rose, nuzzled Sunset’s head for a moment, and went out into the hallway. Sunset stared after her in contented amazement. It was only a few moments before Applejack came in, drying her hair with a towel. “Hangin’ in there, sugarcube?” she asked. “Yeah. Celestia’s…amazing, isn’t she?” Applejack smiled wryly. “She sure is. Ah didn’t even know how amazing until this whole deal.” Sunset just shook her head, then asked, “How did I end up with such good people to take care of me?” “Ah don’t know, partner, but Ah’m glad to be here. If Ah can help you at all, well, then that’s worth something.” “You already are.” Applejack smiled, then became uncomfortably serious. “Good. Uh, there’s something else Ah need to say. Ah…was glad to hear that you weren’t yourself when you transformed. To be honest, if you’d planned all that, well…it would have been a lot harder to forgive, since…my little sister was involved.” Sunset’s eyes grew very wide and the color drained from her face. “Oh, AJ! I didn’t even think of that! I…don’t even remember paying attention to who I enchanted! I never meant to include your sister, let alone any of the middle schoolers!” Applejack felt a little shot of adrenaline in her stomach. Her comment had been intended to reassure Sunset, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. “Now sugarcube,” she began, intending to do some hasty damage control. But Sunset cut her off, well on her way to becoming hysterical. “That probably means – oh no: Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, too! Oh no no no no no!” Her face began to screw up. Applejack could tell she was running out of time. “What have I done, AJ? What have I done? How can you forgive me? How can Rarity and Rainbow…” she trailed off as she began to scream silently with grief, rocking back and forth in her bed. Applejack decided she’d need a hand with this one. “Uh, Ms. Celestia? I think we need some help!” she called over her shoulder. She turned back to Sunset, who had now collapsed forward in her bed, her entire body shaking with sobs. Applejack hadn’t been in Fluttershy’s basement when Celestia had confronted Sunset. She hadn’t seen Sunset cry this hard before – not even the night of the Fall Formal. It was heartbreaking. Celestia appeared in the doorway, followed closely by Luna. “What happened?” she asked Applejack in concerned confusion. Applejack looked stricken. “Ah…Ah was just trying to set her mind at ease about something, but Ah’m afraid Ah just made everything worse.” And she explained about how knowing Sunset hadn’t intended to involve Apple Bloom was making it a little easier to forgive Sunset. “But Ah guess she didn’t even know Apple Bloom, and well, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, were even involved…” Celestia sighed heavily, going around to the other side of Sunset’s bed and sitting down. She reached out to embrace Sunset, but she recoiled, overcome by guilt. Celestia, however, wasn’t going to take no for an answer. It took about a few seconds, but eventually Sunset stopped resisting and allowed Celestia to hold her. Celestia turned to Applejack. “It’s ok, Applejack. You were just trying to help, and your heart was in the right place. And, as you can see, if Sunset didn’t know your little sisters were involved, it is even more evidence that they weren’t part of her plan.” Applejack nodded, somewhat reassured that Celestia wasn’t upset with her. Luna shook her head sadly. “The whole thing is quite a tragedy, isn’t it?” “Yes,” agreed Celestia, “and picking up the pieces is going to take some time.” She looked down at Sunset, who was still weeping piteously, nearly oblivious to her surroundings. Applejack looked at Sunset too. After a moment, she realized something. “You know, Ms. Celestia, Ms. Luna, Ah know a thing or two about grief.” “Your parents…” Celestia breathed sadly. “Yep. Ah know true grief when Ah see it. And this is it.” Applejack shook her head. “She’s so different from who she used to be. Ah don’t know how, but she is.” Slowly, Applejack got up from the Sunset’s desk chair and sat down on the bed on the other side of her. Carefully and gently, she joined in the embrace. At first, Sunset just cried harder. But after a few minutes, she started to calm down a little. This wasn’t exactly encouraging, however, as Sunset’s sobs were replaced by a look of exhausted despair. “I can’t do this,” she breathed, her breath still hitching. “I can’t do this. I can’t face this. They were just children…” “And they’re just fine, Sunset!” said Applejack intensely. “They don’t even remember it. Just a few blank seconds in their memories. No harm done.” “But they would have been hurt if I’d succeeded! I can’t bear it! Harmless little girls…” Sunset covered her face with her hands. “Sunset,” said Celestia firmly, “I want you to listen to me.” Sunset didn’t do anything at first, but after a moment, she turned her dejected face to Celestia. “This might sound condescending, or belittling, but it isn’t intended to be so. The truth is: you are barely more than a child yourself.” Sunset looked at Celestia in confusion. “You’re a teenager, Sunset,” Celestia continued, “and while technically an adult if we use your true age, I have been an educator for long enough to know that 19 isn’t really that old. The human brain doesn’t even finish maturing until the mid-20s. And, from what I have learned from the story you told us this evening, and from observing you, I would say you’re developmentally behind when it comes to emotional and social issues. Way behind. Again, that’s not intended to be an insult, just an observation.” Sunset seemed to ponder what Celestia was saying, but began to object. “None of that excuses…” But Celestia cut her off. “It may not excuse your behavior, but it can make it more comprehensible. Sunset, you have told us yourself that you have had to face how lonely you have been, even though much of that loneliness has been self-imposed. But the loneliness isn’t even the deepest factor. I think you have been in pain for a long time. Deep emotional pain. Pain you have been denying, hiding from, refusing to face. And in the end, I think most of your actions for the past few years have come out of that pain.” “I don’t understand…” “Not now. But you will. Listen – you must find a way to forgive yourself. It will be a process – you won’t achieve it all at once, but you must ask yourself: do Luna and I wish to cast you aside? Does Applejack? Did Twilight? No. All of us see someone deep inside you – someone who we want to forgive, know, love, and take care of. Someone who can become more than who she used to be. For now, that’s all that you need to know.” Sunset started to object again, but once again Celestia spoke over her. “We forgive you because we wish to, Sunset. You don’t get a vote.” Sunset just stared at Celestia. “And if we can forgive you, you’d better learn how to forgive yourself. You aren’t the judge of you. You don’t get to punish yourself. That’s not how it works,” Celestia stated, almost sternly. Sunset swallowed. “And another thing. You are going to have to watch out for the ‘ifs’,” said Luna. Sunset turned to look at her. “The ‘ifs’?” “I have been down this road, Sunset. I know all about the ‘ifs’. Did you hear what you said a few minutes ago? You said, ‘they would have been hurt if I’d succeeded’. But you didn’t succeed, did you?” “…no.” “You can learn from the ‘ifs’, and it’s important to do so. But if you live in them – if you dwell on them – they will drive you insane. So, here’s what we’re going to do. We are going to talk about everything that didn’t happen,” Luna continued firmly -- almost fiercely. “…uh, ok…” Suddenly Luna reached forward and took Sunset’s face in her hands. “Let’s review. Number one: You did NOT kill, or even harm, Twilight and her friends. You didn’t.” Sunset’s eyes started to widen. “Number two: You did NOT hold onto the minds of the student body for more than a few seconds, or march them through the portal. Therefore, you did NOT harm them.” Sunset’s eyes grew wider still, and her mouth fell open. “Number three: You did NOT lead an attack on your homeworld, and so you did NOT overthrow or even challenge your former mentor.” Sunset was now panting with amazement. “And finally number four: You did NOT get left in that crater. You did NOT get left in a demon form. And you were NOT abandoned or condemned by me, Celestia, Twilight, or her friends.” Sunset was shaking her head violently. “But I tried…” “But you didn’t!” “But…” “None of that happened. It DID NOT happen.” Sunset was still shaking her head, but her resistance was crumbling. The relief was too overwhelming. “Didn’t happen,” said Luna softly one more time, shaking her head in her turn. Sunset searched Luna’s eyes, intensely, but at last she gave in. She began to cry again, but this time they were tears of relief. “Oh, thank God,” she wailed again and again for a minute, crying into the sheets wadded into her hands. She didn’t cry for very long, though, as she was now completely exhausted. At last she fell back against her pillow, her eyelids starting to fall. Celestia sighed with relief – it appeared this crisis, at least, was over. Luna wiped away a couple tears of her own, then turned to Applejack. “Will you be ok with her tonight? We’re just a shout away.” “Yes, Ms. Luna, Ah think Ah’ve got her now.” Luna gave Sunset’s hand a final squeeze and rose. Celestia hugged Sunset one more time and got up as well. “It will get better, Sunset,” said Celestia softly. “Just rest.” Sunset nodded. With a final smile, Celestia and Luna left the room, closing the door behind them. “Sorry ‘bout that, sugarcube.” “You have nothing to apologize for, AJ.” “Well, Ah sure didn’t mean to…what Ah mean to say is that if Ah’d known what would happen, Ah’d have waited to bring all that up another time.” Sunset somehow managed to give Applejack a rueful smile. “Didn’t you hear what Luna said about ‘ifs’?”. “Uh huh. But she didn’t say not to think about them. She just said not to dwell on them. Don’t it help to know that Ah didn’t want to cause you any more distress tonight?” “Oh, I see what you mean. Ok, I understand better now. And it does help, thanks,” said Sunset with gratitude. “I just feel so overwhelmed all the time, and so exhausted.” “Ah know, partner, and none of us want to pile on.” Sunset was quiet for a moment, then she wearily asked Applejack: “What’s happening to me, AJ? Where am I? Who am I? I don’t even know anymore.” “Ah think things are looking up for you, Sunset. Now come on. Let’s get some sleep.” Sunset sighed. “Ok. I apologize in advance for any nightmares,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Hopefully it’s not going to be every night.”