Rather than having her private carriage hitched to the early train to Ponyville on Friday morning, Celestia opted to teleport. After all, the last thing she wanted today was to make this a state visit and definitely not an occasion. She was supposed to be incognito.
Not that she could ever truly avoid being recognized. There could never be any way to hide her stature, her cutie mark, or especially her distinctive mane and tail.
Long-distance teleportation was tricky, but Celestia had long since mastered the art. She appeared precisely where she meant to: just inside the entryway of the Friendship Castle.
The pony doing the teleportation can never see the flash herself, but it must have been bright indeed, since Princess Twilight's assistant, Spike, immediately came running down the castle's main stairway. He rubbed at his eyes and tried to blink out the glare. “Woah... What was—?” When his eyes cleared enough to see who it was, he bowed immediately. “Princess Celestia! What are you doing here...? Er, what I mean to say is, what brings you here? We weren't expecting any visitors.”
“Actually, I was expecting her.” Princess Twilight came down the stairs behind him, at a much more sedate pace. “But this is supposed to be an unofficial visit, and I knew that if you were aware of it ahead of time, you'd have to do something to prepare and make an event out of it.”
“But Twilight, now she's here, and I haven't prepared anything at all!”
“That's the idea!” Princess Twilight said, smiling as she passed him.
“You needn't concern yourself.” Celestia did feel a little sorry for the young dragon. She usually tried to give advance notice of at least three days before traveling anywhere, for just this reason. “I will only be here for a moment, then Twilight will take me elsewhere. I won't be back after that, so it will be as if I was never here at all.”
With an expressive shrug, the little dragon went back up the stairs. Apparently, that was enough to appease him. If only the rest of her subjects could lighten up so easily...
Twilight gave her a quick hug when she reached the bottom of the stairs, then stepped back and looked at Celestia appraisingly. “So,” she said, “are you ready for Ponyville's best pampering and makeover?”
Celestia nodded. “Yes. However, I do think we should teleport there. I wouldn't want to cause a disruption just by unexpectedly walking down the street.”
“Of course. And I may have traded a personal favor or two in exchange for making sure the spa is closed today. We'll have the whole place to ourselves.”
It was regrettable that such a thing should be necessary ... but it would be better to do this without dozens of ponies gawking at them as the two princesses enjoyed a spa treatment. “Very well. Lead the way.”
Princess Twilight's horn glowed a bright purple for a moment, and then both of them flashed over to a new location. Celestia had never been here before, but from the look of it, the room couldn't be mistaken as anything other than the reception area of a small day spa.
Three ponies awaited them there – a matched pair of pink and blue earth pony mares whose colors were the inverse of each other ... and a brutishly huge white pegasus stallion who bulged with an obscene degree of musculature. All three of them gave a small, but respectful, bow when the two princesses appeared in front of them.
“Velcome, Your Highnesses,” one of the two mares said. “Everything is already prepared ... if you would please come vith us?”
As she followed the spa ponies and Princess Twilight deeper into the spa, Celestia wondered if this was even necessary. She didn't consider herself ugly by any means. Why, there was a considerable recurring element within Canterlot fashion of emulating her in any way possible.
Or, at least, there had been. Celestia didn't concern herself very much with the tedious ebb and flow of fashion; who could possibly stand to do so for thousands of years? But even she had noticed that the proliferation of princesses had caused some significant changes in the fashion world. Princess Luna had returned from the moon, Princess Cadance had come into the spotlight with her magnificent royal wedding, and Princess Twilight had taken Equestria by storm when she ascended. Consequently, the ever-popular whites and golds in Canterlot boutiques had been sidelined by dark blues ... and then by ruffled pinks ... and then by purple stripes.
Celestia sighed. She was confident in her looks, confident that the fashion cycle would sooner or later come full circle. But... There was a possibility that her looks had become old fashioned over time, that she was no longer keeping up with the current trends. And while an aloof ruler could afford to assert a disdainful distance from the vagaries of fashion trends, the same could not be said for a pony in search of love.
Steeling herself, she resolved to take whatever treatments they recommended. She would need to be fashion-forward if she was to be successful in wooing a suitable stallion, would she not?
She needn't have been so concerned this early on. Their first destination turned out to be a steam room. The blue-coated spa attendant motioned the princesses toward the room. “Now, ve should begin vith a simple, relaxing steam, no? You may place your belongings in ze changing room here, and our friend Bulk Biceps vill ensure zat no harm comes to them.”
The huge, white pegasus saluted and gave a powerful snort through his nose.
In a matter of moments, Celestia had divested herself of her royal regalia and replaced it with warm towels fresh from the wash instead. As accustomed as she was to her accepted accouterments, she had to accede to the idea that the soft, warm towels were much more comfortable than gold plate.
“Isn't this nice?” Princess Twilight said as they settled into the steam room. “Just taking the morning to relax and be pampered a little?”
“Mm-hm.” Celestia nodded and gave an excellent impression of giving into the relaxation. But on the inside, she couldn't stop her mind from drifting forward to her 'date' with Fancy Pants later today. It had been so long since she made any attempt at dating ... and there was so much that could go wrong...
* * *
They hadn't held anything back in the pampering. There had been the sauna, the massages, the warm mineral water bath, and even a peculiar kind of hoof-soak that had made her feet tingle pleasantly. It was a most pleasant experience, and it surprised Celestia that Ponyville boasted a day spa on par with even the best Canterlot had to offer.
Eventually, though, it was time to move on from pampering to primping.
As the two princesses followed their spa pony expert – the pink one this time – from the post-soaking hoof massage toward the more salon-oriented side of the spa, Princess Twilight hummed quietly to herself.
Despite all the relaxing treatments, though, Celestia wasn’t in nearly such a delightful mood. “So, Twilight,” she said, forcing herself not to speak hesitantly, “what other treatments have you scheduled me for?”
“Oh, I couldn't tell you!” Princess Twilight giggled. “That would ruin the surprise.”
“I do not intend to be surprised, Twilight. I merely want to ensure that it won't be anything ... too extreme.”
They came into the styling salon before Princess Twilight could answer, but she stopped the blue spa pony from interrupting long enough to tell Celestia, “Don't worry – I've scheduled the exact same treatments for myself, so you know it won't be anything too crazy.”
At Princess Twilight’s nod, the blue spa pony smiled and gestured them toward a pair of swiveling chairs. “If it pleases you, ve can begin vith ze vetlock treatment?”
Celestia settled into her chair and glanced over at Princess Twilight. “Vetlock treatment?”
“The unshorn fetlock look,” Princess Twilight said smugly. She waved off Celestia's indignant glare. “Trust me, it's all the rage right now, and I hear it drives stallions crazy. And all it takes is some brushing and a few subtle fur extensions. I'm sure you'll love it.”
Celestia was more skeptical. It seemed so ... primitive. Nowhere near sophisticated enough for a princess. But ... she had to admit that she was no expert in the current trends. It would probably be best to trust Princess Twilight's advice. “Very well...”
While the blue spa pony took care of Princess Twilight, the pink spa pony assailed the fur above Celestia's hooves with a vast array of obscure tools with unguessable purposes. Nefarious purposes, Celestia assumed.
Still, she tolerated the treatment, on the assumption that Princess Twilight would know what she was talking about.
Although the process seemed to involve an exhausting amount of work, it didn't take long. These spa ponies were incredibly efficient at what they did. They lifted one leg after another, and within a shockingly short time, stood back and admired their work. “There,” Celestia's spa pony said, “how does zat feel?”
Celestia stood up and moved her hooves experimentally. The fur behind her hooves was much longer now ... obscenely long. She looked uncivilized. But how did it feel? “It ... tickles somewhat, especially when my hooves brush up against each other.”
“You'll get used to that pretty quickly,” Princess Twilight said. “And then you won't notice it at all.”
“If you say so...”
“I do say so.” Princess Twilight laughed. “Now... Lotus, Aloe, are we ready for the next treatment?”
“Of course!” they both said in unison, rushing off into the next room.
Celestia glanced over at her former pupil. “And just what would that be?”
The spa ponies came back in, wheeling a bucket-laden cart in front of them. “Your vet mane treatments haff arrived!” they announced.
“Wet manes? So ... they're simply going to dump a bucket of water over my head?”
Princess Twilight laughed again. “Oh no, don't be silly! Of course not. Water would dry out much too quickly, and you'd be back to normal by the time we leave the spa. They have a special mane oil that lasts for days!”
The pink spa pony butted in: “Days? Oh no, not anymore. With ze assistance of your friend, Zecora, ve have developed a new formula zat lasts at least a veek!”
“Wonderful!” Princess Twilight clapped her hooves together in glee. But then she noticed Celestia eying all three of them with a healthy dose of skepticism. So she came over and laid an unshorn-fetlock hoof on Celestia's shoulder. “Don't worry. How about we have them demonstrate it on me first? I'm sure you'll like it.”
Celestia nodded her assent, and the two spa ponies began working on Princess Twilight.
As she watched, she was relieved to see that they didn't simply dump the pot of mane oil over Princess Twilight's head. Each of them carefully dipped combs into the mixture, then brushed it into Princess Twilight's mane, artfully stroking into the desired shape.
Because of that, this treatment ended up taking far longer than Celestia would have thought. They made steady progress, though, and within half an hour or so, they seemed satisfied with their work.
Princess Twilight looked over into the mirror, then back at Celestia. “So, what do you think?”
The younger alicorn's mane had lost its characteristic springiness, and instead hung down lustrously long over her shoulders. Her straight-cut bangs slid down to partially obscure her eyes ... Celestia did have to admit that it looked rather alluring. She nodded. “I suppose I can see what ponies like about this fashion. Shall we do mine next?”
“Of course!” the blue spa pony said.
The pink one wheeled the cart over to Celestia. “Your mane though... It is very special. Ve vill have to test zis new formula to see how it vorks...”
Celestia waited, exercising her age-old patience. “Naturally. Please do.”
The blue spa pony dipped her brush in the oil mix and carefully ran it through the base of Celestia's magically waving mane.
It did have some effect, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic as what the stuff had done to Princess Twilight's mane. The spa ponies had to treat the same tiny section of Celestia's mane five times before it finally hung down the way they wanted it to.
Once they'd finally finished that one tiny spot, they set their combs down and looked at each other. They glanced at Celestia's enormous mane, then back at their half-empty mane oil bucket, then back at Celestia ... and then finally back at each other. “Ve are going to need more oil!” they said at the same time.
* * *
It took hours to complete, but finally, Celestia was allowed to look at herself in the mirror. Her lustrous and softly-glowing mane hung down nearly straight to the ground, and part of it actually trailed on the floor. Her tail looked even more drastic, flowing down behind her into a multicolored puddle that followed her wherever she went.
Princess Twilight came up next to her. “So, what do you think?”
“Honestly, Twilight?”
“Of course.”
“I think it looks dreadful.” Celestia reached up with her hoof and brushed a long, drooping strand of it away from her face so she could see it with both eyes. Her horn jutted up out of the flowing mess, seeming even more ridiculously long now that less of it was hidden by hair.
“No!” Princess Twilight made an insincere giggle of sorts. “It's, um... It's...”
“It's making me look like the swamp monster from the pastel lagoon.”
“Oh, don't be silly. It's very fetching ... very mysterious. Maybe a little severe ... it makes you look like a mare with secrets. Okay, maybe dark secrets, but interesting ones. It makes you seem intriguing. I think you could pull it off – why should Luna be the only one who gets to be dark and mysterious? Have you seen the way she uses that? Stallions are attracted to her like flies to a bug-zapper. Everypony likes a bit of mystery and suspense.”
Celestia shook her head, which sent her mane to rippling. I'm ... not entirely certain I can manage such a persona.”
“Oh, oh!” The blue spa pony came running up to Celestia's other side. “Ve have just ze treatment to reduce such severity! It increases ze cuteness tenfold. Aloe, bring ze final treatment!”
The pink spa pony was there almost instantly, and she held ... a juice box.
Celestia stared at it. “And... What are you going to do with that?”
“Ve do? No no no! You do!” She thrust the juice box toward Celestia.
Taking the box carefully, Celestia held it in front of her. “I... I'm afraid I don't understand.”
“Well, don't keep us in suspense,” Princess Twilight said. “Give it a sip!”
Celestia glanced back and forth between the three other ponies for a few moments before slowly raising the straw to her lips. She gave it a small sip, unavoidably making slurping noises with the straw. It was cherry flavored.
“Oh, just look at how self-conscious she is!” The blue spa pony beamed. “Is zis not ze cutest thing you did ever see?” The pink spa pony bounced up and down with glee.
But Princess Twilight tilted her head and quirked her mouth to the side. “I don't know... It sort of clashes with the 'dark and mysterious' look her mane gives her. And it completely goes against the 'untamed beauty' look of her fetlocks. It might be too much.”
Celestia put the juice box down. “This is it? This is your 'treatment'? What happens when the juice runs out?”
“Ve have very many juice boxes – zere will alvays be anozer when you need it.”
Celestia glanced over at Princess Twilight, who shook her head slightly, frowning. Some moments just called for judgments to be made, and this would be one of them. Celestia made up her mind. “No... I think I shall pass on this one. Twilight is right – it's too much.”
“Such a shame...” The pink spa pony shook her head. “But are you at least feeling ze confidence now zat you have been so beautified?”
Looking at herself in the mirror again, Celestia grimaced slightly. Her reflection looked so strange. “Um... Maybe?”
Princess Twilight hugged her. “Don't worry – you call pull it off, and it's all the rage right now. When you go out on that date, you're going to knock him senseless!”
With just a slight tilt of her head, Celestia hid her face away behind her 'wet' mane. Knock him senseless ... or perhaps send him running for the hills. She gulped. “Ah, yes... I'm sure I shall.”