The girls stayed through dinner, which was punctuated first by improbable “Welcome To Your New Home” decorations crafted by Pinkie with help from Rarity and Fluttershy, and second by the arrival of Luna, who had been doing some preliminary damage control at school. Sunset had no idea how to act around her – she remembered that Celestia had said that she and Luna might have more in common than Sunset suspected – but the fact remained that Luna had sternly handed her a trowel last night, and was still the chief of school discipline. Had Celestia discussed the adoption with her? Had she agreed to it? Sunset could only assume so, but she didn’t know for sure. So, she had been quiet and avoided eye contact as best she could.
But Luna had not accepted that. At one point in the evening, she directly engaged Sunset in conversation across the dinner table. “Do you like your new room, Sunset?” she asked simply.
Sunset swallowed. “Yes. I do,” she responded in a small voice.
“Good,” said Luna, and gave her a little smile. Celestia and the rest of the girls at the table fought to avoid laughing as Sunset tried and failed to completely hide an audible sigh of relief. Luna’s simple question had been designed to set her at ease, and it had succeeded.
After dinner, the girls departed with heartfelt well wishes to Sunset and the thanks of Celestia, Luna, and especially Sunset herself. She had now experienced one of Pinkie Pie’s cakes, and it had truly been transcendent. She had not known those colors existed, or that she could move so fast while sitting still.
Next the two older women took Sunset up to her room and helped her unpack her few possessions. She was still a little wary of Luna, but that got better as the evening progressed. Celestia and Luna noticed that some of Sunset’s things were just not serviceable, and none of her clothes were clean enough to wear. She also had minimal toiletries. “I wasn’t expecting to still be in this world after last night. So I had kind of let things go a bit,” Sunset told them ruefully, by way of explanation.
Luna stepped out, then came back in a few minutes later. “Here,” she said kindly, giving Sunset a small stack of clothes. “These are some pajamas that I think will do for tonight. I’m a little smaller than Tia – I think these will fit you better than any of hers. And tonight, when you bathe, you may use my shampoo and conditioner. I’ll get you a bar of soap too, and some toothpaste.” Sunset looked up at her in amazement, blinking away tears.
“Thank you,” she breathed. Luna just smiled at her again.
Celestia looked on with satisfaction, watching as the ice between the Luna and Sunset melted even further. “Sunset, is everything here? Are we missing anything?”
Sunset looked around the room, trying to mentally take inventory. Suddenly she looked distressed. “Oh no,” she said unhappily, her shoulders drooping.
“What is it? What is missing?” Celestia asked.
Sunset just looked at her for a moment. She seemed reluctant to answer, but the effect of the Rainbow Wave came through again. She had to answer, even though it would reveal a part of herself that she would have preferred to keep private for the time being. “My…my guitar. And my little amp,” she answered shyly.
“Your guitar? And amp? That means it’s an electric guitar, correct?” Luna asked, her eyes lighting up.
“Yes. It’s electric. And it’s probably the only thing I own of any significant value.”
“I didn’t know you played an instrument. Good for you!” said Luna encouragingly.
Sunset didn’t know how to respond.
“Sunset, how did you obtain the guitar?” Celestia asked quietly, continuing to sort clothes into a laundry basket.
Sunset’s face fell, knowing what Celestia was asking, and why. “I purchased it. I promise – it isn’t stolen.”
“Good,” said Celestia. “Then we will go back and find it tomorrow. I don’t think it’s safe for us to go to that part of town at night.”
“No, probably not,” Sunset agreed. “I always tried to be well hidden before it got dark.”
“I’m confused about something – this isn’t an accusation, Sunset, just pure, true curiosity. How did you afford it? You have so few possessions, and your living conditions were unconscionable,” Celestia asked. Luna looked on with interest.
“I actually do have some financial reserves. I kept them around in case of catastrophic need. As for my living conditions, well, avoiding paying rent and utilities seemed like a good way to save money. Though you’re right, there were some very hard nights. Especially in the winter.”
Celestia shook her head and sighed heavily. “I wish I’d known. I’d have stepped in a lot sooner if I had.”
“I don’t know…if I would have been receptive.”
Celestia allowed herself a laugh as Luna smirked in the background. “You wouldn’t have had a say in the matter.”
Sunset deflated completely. “That’s not what I meant by ‘receptive’. I meant that…it’s hard to put into words.”
Celestia softened. “I think I know what you mean. Perhaps it’s for the best that it happened this way, because now you are emotionally ready to receive what Luna and I, and your friends, want to give.”
Sunset nodded, avoiding eye contact. “Yes. That’s what I meant.”
Celestia sat down on the bed next to her for a second, putting her arm around her. “I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to distress you. There’s no point in going over and over what might have been. But you understand what I meant, right? I can’t say for certain, but I’d like to think that if I’d known more about you, I might have been able to help you before things got out of hand.”
“I arrived here out of hand,” Sunset said with a bitter frown.
“Maybe so. But do you understand what I’m saying? Now that we are part of each others’ lives – now that I care about you on another level entirely – I think it’s only natural to wish we had known each other longer. At least, that’s how I feel for my part.”
Sunset wasn’t ready to respond to that. She just leaned against Celestia’s shoulder. Celestia hugged her back. “So. May I ask what form these financial reserves take?”
In response, Sunset gestured to a small wooden box lying near her foot. “Go ahead and see,” she said, anticipating Luna’s response.
Luna was closest. She picked up the box carefully and opened it. Sunset allowed herself to be smugly satisfied by the resultant gasp and widened eyes. “Tia. You’ve got to see this.”
Celestia reached over and took the box from Luna’s hands. She rewarded Sunset with a gasp and widened eyes of her own. “Oh my. Good grief!” After a few seconds of silence, Celestia collected herself enough to comment. “There must be several thousand dollars worth of jewels in here. How on earth did you get these?”
“I brought them with me from Equestria. They’re actually quite common there, so you don’t need to worry that I stole them. I mined them myself, in fact.”
Celestia just shook her head in amazement.
Sunset sighed heavily. “They are yours if you want them, Celestia,” she said. “I guess I should do something to help earn my keep.”
At that comment, Celestia took a deep breath. Wordlessly, she closed the box, handed it to Sunset, and closed her hand over her adopted daughter’s. “No, Sunset. Those are yours. It was kind of you to offer, but you are a child in this house. Everything we give you is freely given. That’s how this works.”
Sunset seemed to be about to object. “No,” said Celestia firmly. “It will be several years before we ask you to start helping out with the mortgage or the food bill. Maybe once you have finished college, if you stay in this world that long.”
Sunset just blinked at her, openmouthed. “Don’t worry, little one,” said Celestia gently. “You will come to understand in time. Now, what’s left to do? I bet you are tired. How about we get you bathed and ready for bed?”
After a bath, Sunset snuggled into her new bed. She could not deny how warm and comfortable and clean it was. She sighed heavily. Even though so many good things were happening to her, she still felt overwhelmed. So much to adjust to. So much to face. So much to overcome.
Celestia had helped her get ready for her bath, even to the point of helping her to remove her clothes. Sunset had been able use a towel to hide her cutie marks – she wasn’t ready to explain them just yet – but Celestia had seen her bruises and cuts, and had frowned and sighed over them just as Rarity and Fluttershy had. That the principal would become her mother and care for her so intimately was a concept that would have been inconceivable to Sunset less than 24 hours before, and that was still nearly beyond her grasp. Then Luna had helped her brush her hair afterward, much as Rarity and Fluttershy had done, though Sunset had been able to wash herself as before. Again, the thought of the vice principal becoming her aunt and helping her to get into her pajamas (which themselves were borrowed from her new aunt) was astonishing. Yet it had happened. She shook her head in stunned silence.
There came a soft knock on her door.
“Come in,” she said hoarsely.
The door opened slowly and Luna leaned in. Her expression was complex, but not unfriendly. “Sunset? May I come in?”
Sunset closed her eyes and tried to summon some energy. “Yes,” she answered.
Luna did not turn on the overhead light. She came in, pulled the chair away from the desk, and sat down next to Sunset. The dim light of the lamp on the bedside table cast part of her face into shadow, like a half-moon. She regarded her new niece for few seconds.
“Sunset, I can see that you are very tired. I promise I will not keep you up for long. In fact,” she started to rise, “perhaps tonight is not the best night…”
“No, please! Wait…I…”
Luna sat back down slowly. “Are you sure?
Sunset only looked at her.
“I see. Perhaps my sister hinted that you and I have more in common than you might have thought?”
Sunset nodded, blushing.
“I can understand why you wouldn't want to wait long to learn about that. You need reassurance. I will gladly give that to you. But first, a few other things must be said.”
Sunset only waited. She was used, by now, to others setting the tone of the conversation.
“First, I welcome you to our home. Truly. I must admit, at first I was a bit surprised, and a bit…uncomfortable about my sister’s proposed arrangement with you, but the more I thought about it, and the more I remembered how you looked last night, and the more I thought about my own past, the more satisfied and pleased I became. The truth of the matter, Sunset, is that you are in great need. I will not deny that it will bring me joy to help you recover.”
For what must have been the twentieth time that day, Sunset’s eyes filled with tears, but she was able to keep from crying.
Luna continued. Her voice was very soft and gentle. “Second, just as with my sister, here at our home, and when we are not around other students (your friends excepted), you must call me Luna. We will be almost like sisters – you will see. Can you do that?”
Sunset wiped her eyes and nodded.
Luna smiled. “Third, while I do still mean for you to help repair the school’s main doors, obviously you won't have to work on them until your knee is quite a bit better. It is a matter of discipline rather than punishment. Do you understand the difference?”
Sunset thought for a moment, but, as intelligent as she was, she had never learned what the difference was, because she had never cared. Neither of those things had been for her. Until now. She shook her head no, looking at Luna earnestly.
“Punishment is related to justice. It is uncaring. It seeks only to right a wrong. To reward evil with the pain and isolation it deserves. It is not concerned with reform, or with repentance, or with the development of the one who is punished. Discipline, on the other hand, has at its focus, as its very goal, the reform and well-being of the one who is disciplined. You cannot discipline someone you do not care about, Sunset. To discipline someone is to express your care by correcting someone’s behavior and attitudes in the hope that they will become happier, kinder, and healthier than they were before. Do you understand now? I discipline you because I care for you – not because I dislike you or desire that you experience pain.”
This was too much for Sunset. She burst into tears again.
“Oh dear!” Luna exclaimed with some concern. “It was not my intent to distress you! Quite the opposite!”
“It’s ok,” Sunset tried to say between sobs. “I just don’t have any walls. No defenses. I can’t hide from you, or from anyone else, how much I need love. How desperate I’ve been for it. How jealous I’ve been of those who have it. And how much it means to me when I get it. I’m like a starving person who is finally given not just any food, but…amazing, incredible, good food. I can’t explain it any other way.”
Luna looked at Sunset in stunned wonder. “My goodness! What did that ‘friendship ray’ do to you? You have the perspective of someone who is much farther down the road than I thought you would be!”
Sunset was able to calm herself down a bit. “I don’t know, but when that thing hit me –I’ve been calling it the ‘Rainbow Wave’ for lack of a better term – it…showed me how wrong I was. How alone. How much I was missing out on. I couldn’t deny it. I couldn’t avoid it. It was excruciating! I’ll never forget the pain.”
“But how is that possible? The entire thing lasted only a few seconds!”
“Not for me! For me, somehow, it was longer. I’m not sure how long. Hours? Days? Well, it was long enough! Long enough for me to face every nasty thing I’d ever said or done to anyone since I came here. And to feel the pain that each nasty thing caused. And to perceive my own isolation. And to see, in incredible, full color HD detail, exactly what I was missing out on. You want to know why I came out of that crater in tears? Without any shred of pride or anger? Now you know. I had no choice. I didn’t know it was possible to be so completely, utterly defeated! That wave showed me exactly who I was, without any holding back or sugarcoating!”
Luna stared, completely amazed. Then, she looked at Sunset compassionately. “No wonder you are exhausted. If it means anything to you, what are you are describing sounds excruciating, just as you described. Please listen – in the end this will turn out to be a blessing, I promise. You have had to go through a process in, apparently, a few hours or days that takes many people months or years. You will recover, and we will be very gentle with you as you do so.”
Sunset was breathing hard. She could only smile wanly at Luna in gratitude.
“Oh, sweetheart,” sighed Luna heavily, shaking her head and putting her hand to her forehead, “what a thing you have been through.”
“I deserved it. Every second of it.”
“But that does not mean I cannot…wish you had been spared it! That it had not been necessary. As you can see, it brings me no joy to see you in pain, even if you have brought the pain on yourself.”
Sunset could only look at her. Suddenly, she nearly swooned.
Luna was quick. She slid over onto the bed and caught Sunset as she slumped forward. “All right, all right. I’ve done too much already,” she said, as she gently leaned Sunset back onto her pillow. “I’m sorry. No more tonight. Suffice it to say that my story is very much like yours, and I know how you feel and what you are going through. I understand. And I am here for you.”
Sunset looked up at her through her drooping eyelids.
“Sleep now. I will stay until you are asleep. And if you need either of us in the night, you have only to knock on our doors, or even just call out for us.”
Sunset nodded almost imperceptibly. It was only a few seconds before she fell deeply asleep. Luna watched over her for a long time, her face full of concern. At last, when it was clear that Sunset’s chest was rising and falling peacefully, she rose and quietly left the room. She left the door slightly cracked, so she and Celestia could hear Sunset if she needed them.
Once outside Sunset’s room, she went down into the basement and found her sister watching television. The volume was turned down low. Celestia looked up at her and turned off the TV. Luna didn’t say anything at first. She sat down heavily on a chair across from her sister and sighed. Then, she looked up at Celestia without hiding the pain in her eyes.
Celestia frowned. “I would spare you this, if I could, Luna, but I cannot see a better way.”
“There is no other way. This is a good thing. It is what she needs, and what I need. And you will help me, I know.”
“I will. Every step. And I am very proud.”
Luna nodded gratefully, then sighed again.
“But something more is troubling you than the task of helping Sunset down the path of repentance. What is it? What is wrong?”
Luna looked at her sister significantly. “I have learned, just now, the full measure of what Sunset experienced when the ‘Rainbow Wave’, if you will, hit her.”
Celestia’s face fell. She could tell that what Luna was about to tell her would not be easy to hear. Luna told her. With every word Celestia’s eyes widened further. At last, when Luna was done, she looked away, shaking her head slowly in wonder and sadness. Neither of them spoke for some time.
“What a terrible thing to have to experience, with no warning or way to slow it down,” observed Celestia at last.
“Precisely.”
“It explains a great deal, also. I have been amazed – stunned, really – by Sunset’s degree of penitence and lack of resistance. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless. She is already deeply, deeply sorry for her actions. And it seems she has no pride. She admits her brokenness and her need, though it brings her pain to do so. She is so contrite and defenseless it nearly breaks my heart to think of it.”
“I had been amazed as well, but now I understand.”
“But Luna, will this not be a blessing in the end? The intensity of the experience has made it impossible for her to ignore. She has been forced to grapple with herself. What could have taken months is only taking days or hours, though I pity her for the sheer magnitude of it. No wonder she is so tired – it is not only physical exhaustion.”
“You are right, but we must be very, very careful with her as she recovers. She is fragile. I fear that if we had not recognized her need, and if Twilight had not made her friends promise to care for her…I fear she might have taken her own life.”
“You may be right in theory, but that is not what was meant to be. Twilight’s heart is true. She was the first to have compassion on Sunset, without hesitation. Perhaps it was destiny. Twilight was exactly the person Sunset needed both to bring her to her knees and to take the first step to lift her back onto her feet. I tell you, when this is over, it will be a story of surpassing beauty and sweetness. The relationship between Twilight and Sunset will be an example to all of the power of love and forgiveness.”
Luna looked at the ground shyly. “As is the story of our relationship, my sister.”
Celestia looked at her sister fondly.
Darkness. Pain. Exhaustion. Sorrow. These were the first sensations she was conscious of. Slowly, her vision began to clear, though it was still blurred by tears. The unyielding surface of the crater dug into her hands, arms, and legs. With extreme effort, she moved her arms and began to push herself onto her hands. Unwillingly, she looked up. The princess stood over her at the edge of the crater, looking down. Her eyes were alight with fury and her mouth compressed into a thin line. Behind her, her five friends appeared, standing around her, their expressions identical to the princess.
Sunset knew what would come next. She pushed herself to her knees and began to try to crawl to the edge. She slipped. She tore her hands and knees on the rocky ground. The rest of the students, and Celestia and Luna, appeared around the entire rim of the crater. They looked down on her with disgust.
The princess leveled a malediction, her voice cold and hard. “You will never rule in Equestria! Any power that you may have in this world is gone!” Her crown glittered as a ray of light struck it. “Tonight, you’ve shown everyone who you really are! You’ve shown them what is in your heart!”
“I’m…sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know… there was another way!” Sunset heard her tortured voice cry.
But Twilight only smirked. “Too bad,” she said harshly. “There’s no hope for you now. Enjoy your empty life. If you can call it a life…” And the princess turned her back and walked away. Her friends turned to follow, and then, one by one, the students, Celestia, and Luna all turned their backs and left her. She could not crawl out of the crater on her own.
“NOOOO! Please, please come back! I’m sorry, Twilight! Please give me another chance!”
But Twilight’s back disappeared into shadow. Sunset collapsed against the rim of the crater and wept with despair. But it wasn’t over. Oh no, not over yet. She felt a dark presence take shape ahead of her. Unwillingly, she looked up.
From the shadow into which Twilight had faded, a terrible form emerged: her demon self, with a face of cruelty. “You belong to me, now, Sunset,” the demon gloated with a sneer. “In fact, you ARE me!” And the demon threw back her head and laughed with triumph.
Sunset shot bolt upright in bed, gasping. The image of the demon was still before her eyes, which were wet with tears. Her door, which was cracked, was pushed open. She started as two dimly lit figures entered her room. Her lamp was flicked on, and she recognized Celestia and Luna. Celestia quickly sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around her. Luna went around to the other side of the bed and also sat down, doing the same. For a couple minutes they just held her, as her breathing slowed. Her tears did not stop, however.
“A nightmare, sweetheart?” Celestia asked gently.
Sunset could only nod. “I’m sorry,” Celestia responded.
Sunset found her voice. “Sweetheart? I’m no sweetheart,” she rasped sadly, shaking her head.
“Perhaps that was true in the past. But that is not what must be in the future – you are not bound to it. Already, the change has begun,” said Luna. Sunset just looked at her.
“You must tell us the nightmare. It is the best way to reduce the chance that you will have it again. And such pain should not be held inside,” Celestia encouraged.
Sunset shook her head no; she had no desire to relive what she had just been through. But Celestia and Luna both persisted. They were gentle, but did not relent. “You don’t have to tell us until you are ready. Take a few minutes,” said Celestia. “Would you like some water?”
Sunset nodded – her mouth was parched. Luna left to get it and came back quickly. After Sunset had taken a few sips, she found the courage to relate her nightmare.
Celestia and Luna were very supportive. “That sounds…I can’t find a strong enough word,” Celestia said, frowning.
Luna agreed, wiping away a tear. “Terrifying isn’t quite right. It doesn’t capture the despair.” She understood. She had felt the very same fear, and struggled with the very same despair.
Sunset just sat in silence.
“Sunset. It was a dream, love,” Celestia said softly. “That’s not what happened, is it?”
Sunset turned to look at her. Her eyes were full of pain.
“Twilight didn’t abandon you. She did give you a second chance. And she gave you her friends to help you. You aren’t alone.”
Sunset froze, teetering on the knife’s edge of hope versus despair. Unbidden, Applejack’s words came back to her: Remember the hands, Sunset. Remember the hands! It was just enough to push her over the edge back into hope. The despair went out of her eyes, though the sorrow remained. She cried again, a little, but from relief.
“That’s my girl,” Celestia said, hugging her tightly. Luna was still hugging her too. It helped. The warm, physical contact helped to push the nightmare into the realm of dreams rather than reality.
“What you have seen is what you have been saved from,” said Luna. “Remembering that can teach you wisdom, but you will learn to be glad – truly glad, without fear or despair – that your fate will not be what you just saw.”
Sunset looked at her, still struggling to believe.
“It will not,” Luna reassured her firmly. Slowly, Sunset began to smile a very small, but encouraged, smile. Luna gave her an extra squeeze.
“Do you think you can try to sleep some more? It’s only 2 am,” Celestia asked.
“Yes, but…”
“Don’t worry. I think I will stay with you for the rest of the night,” Celestia said, anticipating Sunset’s desire.
“I think we will both stay,” said Luna firmly.