Equestria's newest alicorn awoke to find herself sprawled out in a pile of blankets that smelled like chickens, with two warm bodies pressed uncomfortably tightly to either side of her. Gingerly opening bleary eyes and wincing as the mother of all headaches assaulted her, Sunset Shimmer gradually took stock of her situation.
Somepony had dumped her, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie in a wagon full of hay, with smelly blankets under them. "What the—?"
"Awake yet, sugarcube?" Sunset turned to see Applejack staring at her, a broad grin on her face.
Sunset shook her head. "AJ, what the hell—"
"Y'all was takin' a mite longer t' wake up than ever'pony else," Applejack said. "Twilight ain't up t' teleportin' nopony nowhere today, Mrs. Cake needed y'all outta Sugar Cube Corner so they could clean up, an' ever'pony else is busy cleanin' up Ponyville after last night's party got way outta hoof, so..." Applejack rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Twilight said t' jes' dump y'all in a wagon out back until y'all woke up."
Sunset gave her a flat stare. "Seriously?"
Applejack shrugged. "Ain't like nopony else had any better ideas. Weren't really noplace t' put a buncha drunk, silly—"
"Okay, okay, I get it," Sunset said, waving her off with a hoof.
"Ugh," Trixie complained as she woke up. "Where am I and why does it smell like frickin' chickens?" After a pause, she added, in a high, nasal tone, "Whyyyyyy am I in a smelly wagon with Starlight Glimmer and an alicorn I only just met?"
"Well, whatever we did," Sunset said with a smirk, unable to resist, "apparently the chickens didn't survive." At Trixie's horrified and nauseated expression, Sunset burst out laughing. "We passed out drunk at the party," she said. "They tossed us in a wagon out back to get us out of the way."
Trixie blinked at that. "How...considerate," she said sourly. She smacked her lips, then frowned. "Trixie's mouth is dry and tastes like...stale marshmallows..."
"Next time, don't spend all night eating Twilight Sparkle," Sunset said with as straight a face as she could manage.
Trixie glared at her. "Sunset Shimmer, has anypony ever told you you're absolutely demented?"
"It comes up from time to time," Sunset said wryly. With a strained groan, she levered herself out of the wagon, landing behind it on unsteady hooves. Looking around to make sure she had some privacy, she squatted down behind the wagon.
"Sunset Shimmer, what are you—are you peeing back there?!" Trixie shrieked.
"Well I'm damn sure not watering the grass," Sunset said.
"Just...but...UGH! That's disgusting!"
"Yeah, well, I hadda pee really bad, and I don't think I can make it to a toilet," Sunset replied as she trotted out from behind the wagon, using her magic to straighten her mane and tail.
Trixie started to protest, then stopped, frowning. "Fair point," she said as she, too, clambered out of the wagon and found a private spot to relieve her bladder.
"Morning Sunset! Morning Trixie!" Pinkie Pie called out cheerfully as she trotted up to the wagon. "Glad to see you're finally—" She paused, frowning as her nose wrinkled in disgust. "What smells like chickens and pee?"
"SHE DID IT FIRST!" Trixie proclaimed, pointing a hoof at Sunset. Sunset facehoofed.
"Good morning, Pinkie," Sunset said. "That was some party last night."
"Want some covfefe, jefe?" Pinkie Pie asked, offering Sunset a steaming mug. Sunset peered into it, her muzzle wrinkling; it smelled like coffee, only the smell was overpowering and a bit off; whatever it was, it was a murky orange color and looked slightly rancid.
"Uhh...no thanks?" Sunset said, backing away slowly.
Pinkie sighed. "Yeah...nopony ever wants covfefe," she said, carelessly tossing the stuff into the nearest bush.
It shriveled up and died instantly. Sunset stared at it. "Uhh..."
"Should...should we be worried that Starlight's still asleep?" Trixie asked.
"Oh, umm..." Pinkie shuffled her hooves. "I think she like, maybe drank a lot more than you two? So...maybe don't wake her up. I mean, you know what Starlight's first reaction to any situation is..."
Trixie grimaced. "Yes, let's...let's let her sleep."
"So," Sunset said, looking around, "this is Ponyville after an all-night bender, huh?" The town was, frankly, trashed; listless, restless ponies were shuffling around, not saying much to each other as they cleaned up the mess in the streets.
"Yeah, this is why we don't have all-night drunken parties all that often," Pinkie said, her ears pinned back. "I mean, especially not after that one New Year's party where DJ-P0N3 managed to get the whole town stoned on hendrix weed..."
Sunset blinked. "Wow."
Pinkie's ears perked up as the thud of of heavily-shod hooves on dirt road, accompanied by the heavy thump and creaking of a landing chariot, sounded nearby. Her head whipped around, and she espied two white-coated, gold-armored Pegasus Guards approaching, pulling a golden chariot. "Damn. The Hokuten!"
Sunset rubbed her eyes, ears folding down. "Huh? What—"
Pinkie Pie suddenly took off like a shot, calling back over her shoulder, "Don't blame me, blame yourself or Celestia!"
Sunset stared after her. "Uhh...wha—?"
"Your Highness," one of the guards said, drawing Sunset's attention. She turned around, blinking confusedly as she scanned the surrounding area.
"Twilight? I don't...I don't see her anywhere, but—"
"Not Princess Twilight," the other guard said. "You. Princess Celestia sent us to collect you and bring you to Canterlot."
Sunset blinked. "Oh. Umm..." She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm...I just woke up and I'm a little hung over and very confused. Why does Princess Celestia want me to come to Canterlot?"
The guards looked at each other uncertainly. "She didn't say," one said. "She only said to bring you to Canterlot, and that you will be free to return to Ponyville at dusk if you desire."
Sunset grimaced. "Uhh..."
"Go ahead, go," Trixie said, waving a hoof. "I'll let everypony know where you went."
"Thanks," Sunset said. She looked herself over, her nose wrinkling. "I'm kind of a mess, though. And...well, I smell like chickens and pee..."
"Her Majesty's summons was urgent," one of the guards said. "You can freshen up at the castle once we arrive."
"Well...okay." Still confused, Sunset climbed into the chariot; a minute later, they were off to Canterlot. Just as they took off, Sunset could see Starlight Glimmer stir from her slumber below.
* * * * *
Upon arriving at Canterlot Castle, Sunset Shimmer was set upon by a trio of maids, who whisked her away for a luxurious lavender bath, a thorough grooming, and fitting for an expensive silk gown. Bewildered, she suffered through it with all the grace and collected poise of a terrier being chased by a Roomba. Halfway through the fitting, Princess Celestia appeared. "Your Highness, what—what's going on here?"
Princess Celestia smiled. "Oh, just a little ceremony in your honor," she said. "Luna told me about the..." She smirked. "Party Ponyville threw you last night. But it just wouldn't do to not give you your proper dues here in Canterlot."
Sunset frowned. "What do you—"
The door opened, and three unicorns trotted in. Sunset's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Her mouth suddenly felt dry, and it had nothing to do with the copious amounts of booze she'd chugged at the party.
The older of the two stallions had a pale yellow coat; his orange mane, styled in a Trojan mohawk, was shot through with silver and grey, and he'd grown a scrub of silvery-orange beard since Sunset had last seen him. The mare at his side, older than Sunset and with discernible laugh lines, had a burnt orange coat, a short dark red mane, and cream-white hooves.
The younger stallion's coat was almost the same color as Sunset's, but his hooves and a streak along his muzzle were the same cream-white as the older mare's. His bright red mane was wild and forward-swept; a chest-length tuft of beard hung from his chin, and round-rimmed glasses perched atop his muzzle. He wore a dark blue-green cape spangled with stars and fastened with a shiny crystal brooch.
Sunset shook her head in disbelief. "M-mom?! Dad?! Sunburst?!"
Sunburst smiled. "Hey sis," he said. "Been a while, huh?"