Tonight was shaping up to be one of the better nights for Nero as he laid in his bedroom. There were no damned spirits prowling his halls. He wasn’t suffering from the aftereffect of some horrible curse, spell, potion, or plant. As far as he could tell, he wasn’t being possessed by any demon. Even the usual horrific nightmares where he relived his evil misdeeds hadn’t reared their ugly heads.
It seemed that, for tonight at least, he was going to get a good night’s sleep. So there he laid, nestled underneath a pile of comfortable blankets and pillows. His eyes were shut and mouth was partially opened as he snored. If fate would have been kind he would have stayed in a deep, peaceful slumber until the sun rose up, wherein he would open his eyes well-rested and almost happy. But, of course, the fates weren’t kind.
Down the stairs, through the kitchen, and past the living room the front door to Nero’s house could be heard opening. While such a sound usually wouldn’t have awakened most people, especially since the one opening it was trying their hardest to be quiet, the second that the door knob was turned his eyes opened.
Most ponies didn’t lock their houses at night. In fact, most ponies didn’t even have locks on their doors. Many felt that there was no need, but Nero wasn’t of the same mind.
The human had gotten a door specifically to keep intruders out. The door itself was made with strips of both wood and steel and the hinges that supported it were triple-reinforced. Three locks secured the door at night, as well as four bolts, six sealing spells, half a dozen charms and wards, three very powerful pie-based traps, and a chair wedged underneath the door knob. Still though, despite all of these precautions, Nero could very clearly hear his front door being opened and someone trotting into his house.
While they had been obviously trying to keep quiet while entering, his intruder seemed to have no problem making noise now that she was inside. He could clearly hear them stomping around on his wooden floors—which he had just washed yesterday—muttering to themselves. They trotted into his kitchen, rooting around and slamming drawers, before they made their way back toward the door.
Nero, who had just been lying in his bed staring up at the ceiling, finally picked his head up when he heard the intruder racing up his stairs. He looked over to his left to look at the baseball bat sitting by his nightstand.
“…Eh,” he grumbled, letting his head fall back down onto his pillow as the intruder trotted down the hallway to his bedroom and opened the door.
“Nero? Nero are you awake?”
“There’s nothing good up here,” Nero said, closing his eyes. “Go steal all of the shit downstairs and let me get some sleep.”
“What? No, it’s me, Twilight!”
The human’s bedroom door was thrown open, revealing a very tired-looking and frazzled Twilight. Without waiting for the human to say anything, the alicorn trotted into the room. Eyeing the space underneath her assistant’s bed, she spread her wings when she was halfway toward him and flew the rest of the way. The bed creaked as she landed on the bed, quickly wiggling under the covers and crawling up his body.
Nero sighed as Twilight’s head poked out from the covers, and he cracked open an eye to look at her. “I think I would have preferred a burglar,” he said.
“Nero, I need your help with something,” Twilight said, using a spell to illuminate his bedroom with a soft, gentle light.
“You need my help?” Nero asked, squinting as he looked over at the clock that was hanging on his wall. “At two in the morning?”
“Yes I do,” Twilight replied with a nod.
Nero stared at the mare for a moment or two before resting his head back onto his pillow and closing his eyes. “No. Go away.”
“But, Nero! This is serious!”
“I don’t care. It’s too early to deal with your shit.”
“It’ll only take a second,” Twilight said, poking his cheek with her muzzle. “I promise.”
“No. I’m a strong, independent stallion that won’t have no mare telling me how long I need to sleep. I’d also appreciate if you didn’t splay your chubby little nerd body all over me.”
“But I need you for a few minutes!”
“No.”
“Come on! All you need to do is help me for a couple of hours!”
Nero ignored her, doing the best he could to go to sleep despite having a talking marshmallow horse on top of him.
“Nero!”
“…”
“Please, Nero!”
“…”
“Annnnnoooooooonnnnnn!”
Finally, with a frown, Nero cracked open an eye. “What. Is. The Fucking. Problem?”
Twilight lifted her head up and looked around the room, her ears perked up. When she didn’t see or hear anything out of the ordinary she rested her head back into his chest.
“There’s a monster under my bed and I need your help to get rid of it. Please.”
Nero’s one eye narrowed down to a slit. “There’s a monster under your bed?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes; it’s a big one, and the same monster is under your bed too!”
Both Nero’s eyes shot open. “What?!” he hissed.
“I said that there’s—”
“I know what you fucking said! What I want to know is why there’s a monster under my bed!”
Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but Nero was already moving. Pushing the alicorn off of him, he rolled toward the edge of his bed. Grabbing a flashlight that he kept on his nightstand, he leaned over, poked his head underneath the bed, and turned the flashlight on.
Ŵ̆͗ͧ̊Ë͍̰̖̟̭̆̔͂̑͗͞ ̙͖̒̄ͨ̆̐̋̚Ș̪̗͕̪̠́̽ͥ̔͒̚H̡̤̠͙̏̍ͮͣ̈́͒̏Ä̻͎̮͒̔ͧ͑ͦͅL̠̹̜̭͖̣̄͋͂͌̾ͥ͡ͅL̲̥̜̮̘͚ͣͅ ̶͇̭̾É̫͕ͮA̴̪̻̣̦͆ͫ̋̃T̢̥̩̖ͯ̔ͧ̾ ̨͍̤͕͖͐̃̌̓͂T̩̹̘̘͇̣ͮͨͭ̓H̤̅̎̋̑̇͞E̖̱̞̠̩ ̵̯̺͎̣̖̠̂̋S̳̲̲̥̖̩̦ͩ̓ͧ̃T̛͕̣̥̟̥̋̾ͯͣǍͩͮ͏R͉͚͍͙͎͎̅ͣ̾̏̍S̱̱̞̖̜ͫͬ̿͒̓
Nero blinked when he came face-to-face with a black, formless, vile mass. Every inch of it was constantly moving, as if it consisted of tens of thousands of living things. It had dozens of small mouths filled with yellowed, jagged teeth, along with sets upon sets of bloodshot serpent-like eyes. It hissed out of all of its mouths as the light from his flashlight touched its form, the thing shying away.
Staring at the thing for a moment or two more, Nero turned off his flashlight. Pulling himself back into his bed, he grabbed Twilight and laid her back on top of him before fixing the covers. He blinked, wincing as he felt blood pooling at the edges of his mind, as well as trying to stave off the sudden yet violent burst of madness that now filled his mind.
“Twilight,” he said very calmly. “That isn’t a monster.”
Twilight nose scrunched up. “Yes it is.”
“No, that’s an eldritch being,” Nero said, wiping the blood from his eyes. “Twilight… why is there an eldritch being under my fucking bed?”
“Technically, an eldritch being is still considered a—” Twilight began, only for a hand to slowly clamp down around her muzzle.
“Twilight, please. It’s too early.”
Slowly, a tentacle-like appendage rose toward the ceiling. It had a slimy, scaled look to it, as well as dozens of eyes that were all looking at Twilight and Nero. A noise, unlike any that the human or alicorn had ever heard, filled this air. The air grew colder, and the light from Twilight’s horn flickered out. The tentacle lowered itself toward the two with unnatural movements, it’s eyes unblinking and terrible. Just as it was about to reach down and touch Twilight, who was watching it with a childlike fascination, only for Nero to reach up and smack it.
“Hey, fuck off. We’re trying to talk here,” he said.
The tentacle reared back, swaying side to side like the waves of an angry storm. Nero ignored it to look at his boss. “I’m not getting any younger here.”
Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Well, you know how I was going to have a friendship lesson with Starlight yesterday?”
“I do. You said you were going to take her to some festival in Dodge City or whatever.”
“The Pompous Pumpkin Pony Party Festival yes,” the alicorn said with a nod. “We were going to help Applejack set up a stand so she could sell some candy apples.
Once again, the tentacle tried to reach down and touch Twilight, only for it to receive another smack.
“And how was that?”
“Oh it was fine. I’m not really a fan of pumpkin but they made some very good cookies. But that’s not important.”
“Unless you saw any eldritch horrors running around carving jack-o’-lanterns then I wouldn’t think so,” Nero dryly replied.
Nose scrunching, Twilight give her assistant’s nose a boop. “Anyway, the festival was great and everything, but it was what Starlight and I found while we were in Dodge City.”
Nero closed his eyes. “Goddammit. You found another Necronomicon, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Yep!” Twilight chirped, “and I got it for a really good price too!”
The tentacle, realizing that a frontal attack wasn’t going to work, tried to cram itself underneath Nero’s blankets. Fortunately, for both the human and pony, eldritch horrors, just like monsters, couldn’t break the impenetrable fortress that was a blanket.
“And I’m guessing you tried to do something really dumb and summon something?” Nero asked, ignoring the tentacle.
Twilight’s nose scrunched a little harder. “There’s nothing dumb about wanting to understand the greater universe, Nero,” she said.
“That’s exactly the same thing that happened when you summoned that tiny, sentient galaxy. And what happened with that?” Nero retorted.
A blush colored Twilight’s cheeks. “That… that worked out in the end.”
“You had to give the thing ten thousand souls, Twi.”
“Those gryphons weren’t using them anyway! It wasn’t me who summoned that thing.”
“It was and you know it, and I’m not getting into that argument with you again. Not now,” Nero said, covering his face with a hand. “So, what is this thing anyway? And what the hell happened to Starlight if she was there to summon this thing with you?”
This time, the tentacle tried attacking the two by coming over the headboard of the bed. For its trouble, it was giving two very hard, stinging slaps before it could move away.
“This is Nur-zum-telz, the Devour of Light and Dreams,” Twilight said, her ears pinning themselves against her skull. “And… I don’t know what happened to Starlight. Something went wrong with the summoning and we had to get out of the castle fast and we kind of… split up.”
“The summoning went wrong because you can’t bind these fucking things,” Nero grumbled, throwing a glare the tentacle’s way. “And you’re saying that this thing might have eaten Starlight?”
Twilight opened her mouth to answer but closed it. A thoughtful expression came to her face and she let out a hum.
“Well… it’s a possibility, but I don’t think it managed to get her,” she said, tapping a hoof against her chin. “You know how Starlight can get when she runs away, and while I was coming over here I heard screams come from some of the houses, so I think it was too busy to get her.”
Nero grimaced. “So, this thing’s under other people’s beds too?”
“I think Nur-sum-telz is under every bed in the world,” Twilight replied. “Fortunately, it doesn’t seem to be devouring everypony.”
“Well, there’s that I guess,” Nero said, slapping the tentacle away yet again.
“I think it’s taking ponies based on a certain criteria. If we could maybe—”
Both Nero and Twilight jumped as Nero’s front door was slammed open. Someone ran into his house, past his living room, up his stairs, and toward his bedroom.
Nero groaned. “Is this a fucking burglar, or some crazy ass pony with too much time on her hooves?”
His bedroom door was open, revealing a frazzled Starlight. Nero looked at the mare before throwing up a hand.
“Looks like I got option two. Goddammit.”
Starlight’s eyes snapped toward the human, then at the tentacle that was slowly circling the bed like a hungry shark. The unicorn’s body tensed, and without a sound she darted forward. The tentacle’s eyes all snapped toward her. A noise, like nails dragging against a chalkboard or a child’s scream, filled the air as the tentacle darted toward her almost faster than the eye could follow. However, before it could touch Starlight the mare dove under it, skidding a foot or two across the bedroom’s wooden floor.
“Horse apples,” Starlight muttered, scrambling to her hooves.
Before the tentacle could try for another grab, the unicorn leapt up onto the bed, scrambled under the covers, and settled herself against Nero’s side with her muzzle resting in the crook of his arm. The mare took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart before looking up at the bemused human and smiling.
“Hello Nero. You’re looking very nice this evening. Wonderful night, isn’t it?”
Nero just grunted, looking over toward Twilight. “Alright, now that we know this one isn’t having her soul ripped to shreds over and over again, why don’t you—fucking get outta here!”
Sitting up a bit in his bed, the human attacked the tentacle as it drew near. He slapped it with both hands as hard and fast as he could. The tentacle wobbled and wiggled with each slap, it’s many eyes darting around in panic as it darted back under the bed. Not a second later a low, deep shriek came from under the bed, rattling the windows.
“Pain in the ass,” Nero huffed, laying back down. “Now, like I was saying, why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you need my help to get rid of this fucking thing?”
“Well, Nero, if you really think about it, you’re kind of an eldritch being yourself,” Twilight said.
Nero snorted. “If I was one do you think I’d be working for your purple behind?”
“Just think for a second, Nero. You’re nothing like anything else in this entire universe!” Twilight said, a small, crazed smile coming to her face. “Sure, you can’t change your form at will, or create and destroy matter, and I’m pretty sure that you aren’t deathless—”
“Not yet I’m not.”
“—but you’re a being from a different reality, just like Nur-sum-telz here.” Twilight gestured under the bed. “That’s why you can touch it without it melting your bones and only makes you a little crazy.”
“So what then? Do you want me to try talking to it?” Nero asked as Starlight rubbed herself against the human, humming while she did so.
“Nero, did you know you smell different when you’re awake?” she asked, and was pointedly ignored.
“No, no. I doubt that if we studied Nur-sum-telz for a thousand years we would be able to figure out how it conveys messages, and since it hasn’t tried communicating with us in any way I have a feeling that it doesn’t want to talk,” Twilight said. “So, I thought, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, that you could beat it up until it went away.”
A very unhappy hiss came from underneath the bed.
“You want me to… beat the eldritch creature up?” Nero asked slowly. “And just what are you two strong, powerful mares gonna do while I’m doing that shit?”
Twilight and Starlight exchanged glances.
“We’ll be here for support?” Starlight suggested.
“You don’t need to do it for long, Nero, Twilight said. “Just until Nur-sum-telz either leaves by itself or the magic in the summoning runes we used is gone. Please.”
The room fell into an uneasy silence as the human looked at the smiling alicorn. A range of emotions flashed across his face; irritation, exasperation, and exhaustion. Twilight just kept smiling, looking up at him with her bright purple eyes.
“…I’m not coming into work tomorrow,” Nero finally said. “This bullshit is my work for the day.”
“Fine.”
“And I also want time and a half.”
For the first time since she had stepped hoof into his house, Twilight’s eyes widened in alarm. “Time in a half?”
“Yeah,” Nero said with a nod. “And if you say anything more about it I’ll make it double time or nothing.”
Twilight’s nose scrunched. “Fine. But that’s the only overtime you’re getting this week,” she grumbled.
“I really doubt that,” Nero grumbled back, pushing her off of him.
Sitting up, after he had pried Starlight off of him, the human reached over for his bat. As he was just about to grab it, his bed shook. There was a deep, booming rumble that curled the floorboards. The tentacle slipped out from underneath the bed and grabbed the bat, picking it up and setting it just outside of his reach.
Nero frowned, looking at his outstretched hand, then at his bat, then finally at the tentacle, which seemed to be gloating over its small victory.
“God dammit…”