“It’s such a nice day today, isn’t it?” said Lyra, as she and Bon Bon walked over to the nearest bench. Her cream-coloured companion nodded her agreement as they sat down. Lyra had bought them both a large, two-scoop strawberry ice-cream to enjoy in the sun. Pony-watching on a bright, busy day was one of their favourite things to do together. And it had gotten a lot more interesting lately.
“Oh, there goes Vinyl Scratch!” said Lyra, pointing with her hoof. “Heya, Vinyl!” The white unicorn returned the greeting before walking away, a cheery smile etched onto her face. Or rather, sketched.
“When she’s down, does she draw a sad face?” asked Bon Bona, making Lyra laugh. They watched as Vinyl walked past them and towards her house, where Octavia was waiting with her.
“Hmm…has Octavia, you know, traded anything yet?” wondered Bon Bon, aloud. “She doesn’t look any different, but if Vinyl did it I’m sure she would have at least checked the store out.”
“Hmm, I dunno if she’s the type.” Replied Lyra. “Unless she sold something internal. Like her brain or something.”
“Like Rainbow Dash?”
“Yeah, exactly. Only she’s kept the top of her head maybe?”
“I hear somebody bought the top of Rainbow’s head off of Clearheart, and that’s why Rainbow looks like that.” Said Bon Bon, shaking her head. Which also meant that Lyra was shaking her head. It was a weird feeling.
“No, really?” said Lyra. “But who’d want a silly thing like that? And what would they use it for? A candy-bowl?”
“Decoration?”
“A cereal bowl?”
“A really bad Frisbee?
“A drinking bowl?”
“Lyra, those are all just the same thing but used differently.” Said Bon Bon, sighing. Usually she would stare at Lyra to express her annoyance, but, well…
“Oh look, I think that’s Applejack coming over! Hey AJ!” Lyra waved at the orange farmpony, who was approaching at a reasonably high speed.
“She looks mad.” Observed Bon Bon, as Applejack drew closer. There was indeed a stormy look on the farmers face, although that didn’t stop Lyra from getting up off the bench and hailing her as she passed anyway
“Something the matter, Applejack?” asked Lyra to the now parallel AJ, who looked round and forced a smile.
“Oh, hello there Lyra. ‘Scuse me if I looked a little out of it there. Ah’ve, uh, got someone to see ‘bout something.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Laughed Lyra, taking another lick of her ice cream. “Just a shame to think an outdoors pony like you wasn’t enjoying such a nice day!”
“Heh, well thanks for yer concern.” Said Applejack, chuckling. She seemed more relaxed, and by the way she was blushing, she was perhaps a little embrassed at how she must have come across looking so angry in public like that. “How’s Bon Bon these days? Not seen her around recently”
“I’m, like, right here.” Said Bon Bon. Applejack’s eyes went wide.
“What the-where is she?” she asked, craning her neck around. Lyra stared at her, wondering if the stress of running the farm had finally made the earth pony snap, before remembering: Applejack must not have known about the trade they made!
“Oh, how silly of us! Bon Bon, she can only see my side!” she said, laughing at her mistake.
“Your side?” asked Applejack, who was now the confused one. Lyra, who had up until this moment been facing AJ from a sideways angle, turned around in a 180 degree circle. Applejack watched with a mixture of curiosity and panic as Lyra changed into Bon Bon before her very eyes. When the rotation was complete, Bon Bon turned her head towards Applejack so that she was facing her head on. The right side of her head was hers as normal, but the left side had mint-green fur and golden eyes, with a cyan/white mane.
“So, we were in that Clearheart’s shop the other day…” said Lyra, giggling. “And we both wanted something, and then she had the most amazing idea for what we could trade! And now…”
“We’re closer than ever.” Said Bon Bon, completing her other halves sentence. The mis-matched face went cross-eyed for a moment as they both tried to stare each other in the eyes. This made their eye sight go rather fuzzy, and they both soon decided that it was a bad idea. By the time they looked up again, Applejack had disappeared.
“Huh? Where did she go?” said Lyra, looking around.
“Hey, don’t move our head too fast without warning me first!” complained Bon Bon, as they watched Applejack run off into the distance. It appeared as though she was saying the word “Nope” very loudy, over and over.
“Oh well. Maybe she’s late to see her friend.”
“I never even got to tell her about what we got from the shop…”
====================================================================================================
Applejack shook her head as she ran on down the streets, trying her best to keep her eyes on the road beneath her hooves lest she accidentally lay her eyes on some other freakish site. Had everypony but her gone crazy? Ponies missing their hooves, their insides, their heads-heck, Twilight was missing her everything, pretty much, except for her brain of course. What could be worth that? This was all wrong. And she was gonna make darn sure that Clearheart mare knew it before the night was done.
Although…if she really was the only pony in town who hadn’t fallen head over hooves for Clearheart and her bodypart-trading ways, then maybe it wasn’t everypony else who was crazy? For a brief moment, Applejack entertained the possibility that she had gotten this all wrong. Then she shook her head again, even more firmly. “Nah”, she thought to herself, “it’s everypony else who’s wrong.” Yeah, that was it. Applejack had instincts about these kind of things, and they rarely let her down. Call it a strong gut feeling. She had a moral backbone that wouldn’t be broken, and as long as she followed her heart, then-
Applejack’s eyes went wide and she stopped in her tracks. “Oh no, even mah thoughts are all body-part related! This needs to stop, now!” she said to herself. She looked around, and by complete coincidence, AJ found herself standing in front of the very store she had been seeking. “Oh, that’s convenient.” The farmer walked towards the front door, then hesitated. “Alright, girl, don’t overthink this. Get in, explain why yer right and she’s wrong, and get out. Then everything can get back to normal.” She took a deep breath, psyching herself up. “Yup. Everything’s gonna be nice and normal again…”
====================================================================================================
“Ok, check this out!”
There was a flash of blue as Rainbow soared above the Ponyville park, doing a double barrel-roll dive-bomb that segued beautifully into a pull-up and sudden break ending. A classic Wonderbolt maneuver that she had watched intently so many times, and had now started to master. “Hah, easy! Even with this thing on!” the pegasus said to her watching crowd, adjusting the large padded helmet that she was wearing as she spoke. Twilight had wanted to experience flying, but had insisted on her wearing some sort of protection in case of any accidents, as well as to prevent the fussy brain from falling out of Rainbow’s head in the middle of a trick.
“Wooo, go Rainbow!” cheered Pinkie Pie, her four limbs applauding further along the grass ahead of the group. “And I’m loving the helmet! Goooo safety-consciousness!”
“Um, I think that’s more for Twilight than for Rainbow Dash” said Fluttershy. Or rather, the ghostly projection of Fluttershy, who was seated just next to Pinkie’s head, which was itself using the yellow pegasus’s torso as a pillow. The pink head blinked as she processed Fluttershy’s remark.
“Oooh yeah! I forgot Rainbow’s head isn’t closed up like everypony else’s these days.” Said Pinkie, as if it was some easily-overlooked detail, like a new haircut. In a roundabout sort of way, it was. “I like that look too, though! Goooo open-mindedness!”
“I enjoy your positive approach to fashion critique, Pinkie dear.” Said Rarity. The resident fashionista was lying spread out on the ground like a rug, with her two friends lying on top of her. Normally this sort of thing would be beneath Rarity, but given how light Pinkie and Fluttershy were now it wasn’t so bad. Besides, she couldn’t be “worn” by Fluttershy anymore anyway, and this was a pleasant way to thank her shy friend for her excellent services the past day or so.
The group watched as Rainbow continued to do tricks in the air with obvious relish, with tricks so exciting and thrilling that they even managed to elicit a “yaaay” from Fluttershy.
“Oh yeah, that’s it!” said Rainbow after completing a particularly complex spiraling loop-the-loop. “How d’ya like those apples?”
“Hmm…speaking of apples…” said Rarity, “I wonder what Applejack’s doing. Didn’t she say that she was going to talk to Clearheart about her business?”
“Oh yeah, she did say that. I wonder what she bought! “ said Pinkie, her ears perking up. “Ooh, and I REALLY wonder what she’s sold! I mean, probably not her legs cause she uses those, like, all the time for farming and stuff. Maybe her head! Or her butt! Or her-“
“Pinkie, darling, I really don’t think she was in a buying or selling kind of mood” interrupted Rarity. “You know what Applejack’s like, she’s far too stubborn to ever change her mind over something so, shall we say, unconventional.”
“Heehee, don’t be so silly Rarity!” laughed Pinkie Pie. “Of course she’ll sell something. We all did! It’d be too weird to have one of us NOT do a trade! Talk about awkward!”
“Hmm… I can’t deny that you have a certain logic to your theory” said Rarity, her eyes rolling around in thought as she pondered Pinkie’s hypothesis. “But I remain skeptical.”
“I think she will in time.” Said Fluttershy pensively. “But maybe not straight away. Rarity’s right, she IS very stubborn. But, um, I don’t mean that in a bad way or anything… “
“Oh, no no no” said Rarity, “Of course not. She has a lot of integrity, and I can respect that, even if I do think her fears are way off the mark…oh, Rainbow’s stopped. “ It was true-Rainbow was now hovering in mid air, looking down at something. And she seemed to be giggling.
“Oh, my…” said Fluttershy’s projection, suddenly trotting away from her friends and towards whatever it was that Rainbow had spotted (although it was more of a glide than anything, given her ethereal nature. Pinkie and Rarity stayed in their spot and watched. There seemed to be some sort of white figure slowly approaching.
“Who’s that? I don’t recognize her.” asked Rarity to her remaining companion.
“Me either, and I know everypony in town!” admitted Pinkie Pie, her face squinting so hard it was in danger of falling off. “Whoever it is, they sure need a trip to Sugurcube Corner. They’re practically skin and bones!”
The newcomer was surrounded by Rainbow and Fluttershy, so it was hard to get a proper look. But as they got closer, things got stranger.
“Pinkie, I think you were half right. She’s ALL bones.” Said Rarity. Pinkie gasped dramatically. Rarity was right-the stranger was by all intents and purposes a walking skeleton. Not a shred of skin or hair was visible. Even her eyes were missing, although she walked around as though she could see perfectly fine. It was like something right out of Nightmare Night.
“Oh my god, you’re right! This would have been so weird two days ago. It’s still pretty weird though! Hey wait, how do you know it’s a she then?”
“Well, I could point to the wide pelvic bones, or the shape of the skull, or just the very subtle gait. But the biggest clue is the hat.”
“Hat?” said Pinkie, staring harder at the approaching figure. The skeleton was indeed wearing a hat. A very familiar looking hat, actually...
“Ahahahaah!” laughed Rainbow, floating behind the skeleton and pointing an outstretched hoof at her. Then she straightened up and started to talk in an accent. “Ah sure ahm gonna go give that there mare a piece of mah mind. And some other parts too! Ahahahahaa!”
“Now come on now, ah said I was wrong already.” Said the skeleton in an even more familiar drawl. “And by the way, that sounded nothing like me, ya hear?” Rainbow laughed some more, then took her helmet off and placed it gently over the skeleton ponies skull.
“Here, I think you need this more than me” said Rainbow, in a motherly tone. “Don’t want you hurting those delicate bones.” She paused, as if listening to some internal voice. “Oh, and Twilight’s asking what happened I guess.”
“Applejack, dear, we were just talking about you!” said Rarity. “And yes, you need to tell us the story. What on earth did she offer you? Come, sit down on me and tell us.”
“Look, ah didn’t mean to get so, uh, carried away.” Said Applejack, shrugging her skeletal shoulders and parking herself on top of the spread out unicorn. “But, well, after talking for a bit, she made me fell kinda silly getting all worked up like ah was, and-
“Oh, don’t sit like that dear, your awfully bony.” Interjected Rarity.
“Ah can’t help it! Anyway, as I was saying, …”
==================================================================================================
The red unicorn took another sip of tea, before looking up again.
“So, do you still feel angry?”
It was a question asked with a clear, polite tone, but Applejack could feel the anxiety that lay underneath Clearheart’s mask of calmness. She had been hurt by Applejack’s line of questioning. It was that genuine sense of hurt, more than any answer she had given, that had convinced AJ that this strange shopkeeper had no ill-intentions or hidden motives. The earth pony chuckled softly.
“Angry? Nah. Just a little embarrassed. Ya ain’t so bad.” The shopkeeper smiled at this from behind her counter.
“Thank you. I am sorry if you had the wrong impression about my business.”
“Ah should be the one apologising, miss. Read you all wrong. Probably cause ah never really talked to you before now.” Applejack reached up and took her hat off of her head, pressing it against her chest and closing her eyes. “Forgive me.”
“Oh please, no need to be so theatrical.” Said Clearheart, gently. “Let’s let bygones be bygones and move on in the spirit of friendship, yes?”
“Heh. Sounds like something Twilight would say.”
“Oh, I have so much respect for Princess Twilight. She actually had a similar conversation with me the other day. It makes me very happy that everypony here is so amiable to civilized discourse.” Clearheart sighed, and suddenly there was a far away look in her eyes. “Not everywhere I’ve been to is so pleasant.”
“Really?” asked Applejack.
“This is not the first town I’ve set up my shop in. I’ve made my way around Equestria, doing small scale trades in small towns. I had a brief residency in Trottingham. They used to be such a liberal sort over there, but alas, times have changed…”
“And now yer here.”
“Yes. Now I’m here. And it’s been the happiest I’ve felt in a long time. You’ve all come to accept my practice-embrace it even.”
“Oh ah know.” Chuckled Applejack. “Can’t cross the street without bumping into a pony who’d traded with ya. Feels like the whole town has by now. Heck, it’s part of the reason ah got so freaked out.” Two ponies laughed at the memory of Applejack’s paranoia. After a while, though, it became apparent that Clearheart was looking at the earth pony in a leading sort of way, staring directly into those honest green eyes as if looking for something.
“Ah…guess you’re gonna offer me a trade, then.” Said Applejack.
“Just an offer. I won’t be offended if you refuse.”
“Well…” Applejack shrugged and smiled. “Aww what the heck, you’ve got me in a generous kinda mood. Go ahead, what was yer idea?” Clearheart grinned, then indicicated that she was going to be going into the back of the store. Applejack waited for her as she rummaged through her stock of goods, feeling at once a tiny bit anxious but also curious. Clearheart’s piercing look stayed with her. A Cutie Mark of a heart with a crystal ball in it… it must be her talent. Even Applejack wasn’t sure what the enigmatic trader could offer her though. She was a simple pony with simple needs. All she cared for was her family, her friends and her farm-
“Ah, here we are!”
Clearheart returned. But she was not alone. Applejack could hear what sounded like heavy hooves on the floor in an unnaturally precise rhythm. This was accompanied by smaller sounds whose purpose or origin were hard to discern-whirring, clanking noises. Out of the darkness of the backroom stepped a large, very strange looking pony with a dull silver coat, wearing what looked like some sort of classic maid’s outfit. Although, looking harder, Applejack soon realised that this was no ordinary pony.
“Applejack, I would like you to meet Rosie.”
“Hello there!” said Rosey, in a slightly distorted, very metallic voice. Her face was considerably squarer than a normal pony’s would be, as were her eyes, which shone bright red. Gears stuck out her back, turning and grinding slowly as she moved. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Uh…howdy. Pleasure.” Said Applejack, tipping her hat awkwardly at the robotic pony. “So…yer offering me a robotic maid?”
“Oh, she’s more than that.” Said Clearheart, grinning. “Isn’t that right, Rosie?”
“That’s right! I’m not just a maid-I can lift up to 5 tons, follow complex instructions, can traverse indoor and outdoor terrain, and even entertain children!” said Rosie, beeping cheerfully as she spoke.
“She was one of four such robots created by a very forward-thinking group of scientists-the Iron Initiative, I think its name was.”
“Never heard of it”
“Well, that’s not surprising.They were very secretive. Too secretive, as it turns out-they didn’t leave any notes on how they built their robots. I’ve no doubt though that just one would revolutionize your farm. Plus she’s very sweet.”
“Clearheart, you’re embarrassing me!” said the robot pony, eyes blinking.
“So what about the others?”
“Oh, they’ll find a good home in time. Don’t worry, they don’t mind being separated. They’re not children.”
“We’re actually older than both of you. Our creators were very smart ponies. “ Applejack looked Rosie in the eye, so to speak. The robot smiled back, her “mouth” being essentially decoration but still able to convey emotion. She looked eager, in fact.
“So you’ll take it?” asked Clearheart. Slowly, the farmpony nodded.
“… yeah, ah will.”
“Excellent, then-“
“BUT!” said Applejack suddenly, “Ah still want to be able to move around and stuff after ya take whatever it is you wanna take. Ah’m still a farm pony at heart, gotta be able to work.”
“Oh, that’s ok, you’ll be perfectly unimpaired. Now just stand there and do as I say, this won’t be a minute.”
Clearheart came out from behind her counter, levitating a scalpel in her magic. Applejack watched it warily as the shopkeeper stepped behind her, then shivered as she felt a strange magical sensation wash over her body, like being submerged in a warm bath. Then she felt something being drawn down along her back, from just above her butt to the base of her skull.
“Hey,y’all ain’t taking mah spine, are ya?” she asked, looking behind her.
“As I said, I’m not taking anything that will compromise your movement. Now please don’t move during this part, I need to be precise.”
Applejack turned around again and stared into space as Clearheart went to work. She could feel something strange, like her skin was being stretched and released over and over. When she started to feel like she was being undressed, a light bulb went off in her head.
“Oooh…yer taking mah pelt, then.” She said, flatly. Clearheart stopped her working for a minute, with Applejack’s back muscles plainly exposed.
“Is that a problem?” she asked, scalpel hovering in mid air. Applejack bit her lip, thinking.
“Well… “ Applejack had never considered herself “pretty”, in the same way that somepony like Rarity clearly was. True beauty lay on the inside. That’s what Granny Smith had told her, right? She believed that. “It’s a fair price, considering what ah’m getting in return.”
“Yes, I thought you’d say that. You don’t seen a superficial mare.” Said Clearheart, returning to her work. She asked Applejack to raise her legs when she had to do those, one at a time, and before long she had started to peel away everything from her legs up to her chest, and eventually her neck. Applejack winced a little when she felt the scalpel push its way up under the skin of her head and face, disconnecting all the tissue connections there, but it was over before lone, and with one lust tug her skin came away in one piece.
“There, that wasn’t so bad was it?” asked Clearheart, holding her prize up with a clear sense of pride, before starting to fold it up into a square. Applejack looked down at her raw muscles, flexing and twisting her body, studying herself. She looked like a griffon’s dinner. A thought struck her. Her muscles were well defined after years of farm service. Her eyes flicked over Rosie, who had watched silently during the skinning processes. One of four…
“Hmm…” she said.
“Is something the matter?” Clearheart asked the skinned pony, as she finished folding the orange pelt.
“Well…”
===============================================================================================
“Wait just a minute” said Rainbow Dash. “She skinned you whole…and you asked her to take more?!”
“Well, ah looked pretty gnarly” said Applejack. “And ah knew that ah could get all of those robot ponies if ah played it right. Ah was just getting the best deal possible for the farm. And for Rosie, the poor thing. You don’t just separate family like that. T’aint right.”
“Oh my, how selfless of you!” said Rarity. “You really are a decent pony, Applejack.”
“Aw shucks, was just good business sense is all.” Said the skeleton. “Y’all making me blush.”
“We’re really not.”
“Ya know what ah mean, Rainbow. So yeah, ah got rid of everything else till eventually ah looked like this.” Said Applejack, shuffling on the spot as if to highlight her new form. Rainbow suddenly groaned.
“Oh, does it really matter? She’s a walking skeleton, who cares how!” she said. When she noticed that everypony was not staring at her, she giggled nervously.
“Oh right, you guys can’t hear Twilight. She’s asking how you can still move without muscles.”
“I was wondering that myself, to be honest… “ admitted Fluttershy. Applejack shrugged.
“Well Rainbow manages fine without her brain, and Rarity’s still doing ok with no bones. I dunno how her magic works, and didn’t really care to ask. The important thing is-ah got me three more helpers for the farm. One for mah muscles, guts and mah brain.”
“Oh, she took your brain as well?” asked Rainbow.
“Yeah, pulled it right outta mah ear hole. Ah can see the appeal to be honest. Feels like a weight of mah shoulders.”
“I know, right?” said Rainbow, putting a friendly arm round her boney friend’s shoulder. “Who needs it!” There was a pause. “Er, no offense Twilight.”
“Haha, odd pony out, Twi!” laughed Pinkie. “We all sold our brains, and you’re nothing but a brain! Oooh, wouldn’t it be weird if this was all just a plot to steal the Elements of Harmony’s brains for some evil magical spell?” Pinkie laughed, before quickly adding a “Just kidding!” when she noticed a few nervous stares.
“So, were are your robot helpers now?” asked Rarity.
“Aww, ah sent them back to the farm. They’re probably making themselves mighty useful as we speak!”
======================================================================================================
Applejack’s instructions had been clear to each of the robot servants. Work the farms, speak if spoken too, and “fer goodness sake stay from Granny ‘till ah’ve spoken to her bout all this.” Rosie was, if nothing else, excellent at following instructions. Oh it felt good to have a master again. Clearheart was a lovely pony, but outside of helping to look for some of the harder to find items in the shop, there wasn’t much for them to do. This was proper work, like in the olden days. Current directive: collecting food and resources.
During her work, which was spent mostly cleaning up old apples, the odd bit of garbage and miscellaneous lost items that had found their way onto the farm, Rosie had spotted a tree house. Her sensors detected signs of life that seemed to indicate that something, or maybe someone, was in there. And so, with great care, she had climbed the ladder and stepped inside.
She gasped. Three bodies, unmoving, lying next to a fish tank. Her life sensors scanned the room. The three bodies were still alive, although they seemed to be missing their central processing units (or brains as the ponies called them). The fish tank also had life in it. Those must be fish in there, she concluded. She addressed the three fillies, but they must have been sleeping because they did not respond.
Rosie thought about this. She was no doctor-maybe she should bring them back to the other robots to see what they thought? Yes, that would do. Maybe they had left their CPU’s in the main farmhouse. Or maybe these were simply obsolete bodies in need of recycling, after all. It would be very silly to talk to old bodies like that. Rosie picked the three prone bodies up like they were toys, before exiting the tree house, humming an old work tune to herself as she went. She made a mental note to return here to feed the fish.
“I wonder why they keep them in a tree house all the way out here? Ponies can be so strange!”