//------------------------------// // The Arcane Archchancellor Affair // Story: The EK // by Magi Tail Welkin //------------------------------// “Flash,” Twilight said firmly “I am going whether you like it or not.” “What about the Kingdom?” “The town councils can run it while I’m gone. And Spike, Starlight and Reverend Farthing can take care of the castle.” “The triplets?” “I cast a special protection spell around them.” “Can’t you wait until a magical convention comes to Ponyville?” “The last time that happened Discord decided to interrupt it when me and Cadance wanted some time as sisters.” “But Hogwash’s?” Flash argued “Surely Celestia’s School would be better to hold the place.” “Yes, but they offered cheaper rent for their grounds.” Spike and Starlight watched to two go back and forth. The former Student of Friendship leaned down at Spike “What’s Hogwash’s?” Spike shrugged “It’s the oldest Magic School in Equestria, goes back to the Unicorn Kingdom I here.” He paused clutched his stomach and belched. A scroll appeared in the green fire, he grabbed it and looked up to the still arguing couple “Twilight! Princess Celestia’s sent a letter.” The pair stopped as turned to the dragon who filed through the multiple sheets “It’s been a while since she sent one this long.” Twilight blinked “Read it out then.” Spike cleared his throat “To Twilight. I’ve been informed about the up and coming magical convention at Hogwash’s Arcane Academy and knowing you I know you’ll be attending.” Twilight’s eyes rolled and Flash smirked with a stifled laugh. “However,” Spike continued “I have a concern for you to look out for.” Now the Royal Couple turned equally confused. “The sudden death of Archchancellor Riddle Culler has caused a stir within the Arcane Academy, as such at the time of the Magical Convention they will by election for the next, and three-hundred and fifth Archchancellor.” Flash narrowed his eyes “What does it matter to us?” “Hogwash’s is second only to my school in quality of teaching, however it’s standards in the last few hundred years have decreased with both its strict adherence to the old view of magic, one Star Swirl a thousand years ago proved to be incorrect and its draconian methods of advancement, the “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.”, I fear it might have returned, a number of powerful wizards have been found dead with their staffs missing.” Twilight gasped. The three looked at her, Flash raised an eyebrow “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes?” The Princess nodded and bit her lip “How can I explain this?” No-pony quite knows where the, tradition, the definition of which is stretched to the moon and back, of “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes” originated from. But the more traditional wizards understand this, behind every wizard of the Sixth and highest rank is at least one fifth rank wizard wishing to take his place. Flash raised an eyebrow “You mean wizards are killing off their superiors to go up the ranks?”, Twilight nodded “In Hogwash’s there’s no such thing as retirement, a place is opened either by a promotion to a higher rank, or death, and in the case of the Sixth rank, well…” “Yes,” Flash said, “I think we get the picture.” Spike gulped and returned to the letter “Riddle Culler managed to stop the tradition, but I fear if they wrong pony is elected then Hogwash's is doomed to collapse.” Flash huffed “Good, we can do without their nonsense.” Spike eyes darted across the page “Princess Celestia thinks not.” He cleared his throat again “Hogwash's used to be a decent competitor in magical scholarship and for a time my school appeared the upstart, even with Star Swirl and Clover the Clever acting as the first two Principals. Competition is good for progress, if done healthily, and I don’t wish my school to become stuck as the only magic school if it means it won’t progress.” Twilight nodded “I get that, me and Moondancer had a friendly rivalry as fillies.” Flash gave a big sigh “I see I’m not going to win this.” He muttered, then he held the bridge of his nose and took a breath before recovering “Alright, I’ll go. Not for the magic though Twilight, I don’t want to be bored by it.” She huffed before he closed the gapped and put a hoof to her check “I’m going firstly because you and the triplets are the things I treasure most, as your husband, the father of these three,” he tapped her gentle bump “and your personal guard, I don’t want any of you harmed.” Twilight smiled “I know.” “I’m also going to make sure this “Dead Pony’s Horseshoes” thing doesn’t happen. That’s murder.”, Twilight nodded more determinedly. She then looked to Spike “How are these elections done?” “Well,” Spike said frowning “it says here it’s less of an election, since Hogwash Wizards tend to avoid politics in preference of study or food. And more of an appointment by supernatural means.” Twilight raised an eyebrow “Supernatural means?” “Says here they called it “Selected by the Gods”, guess it predates the Silver Enlightenment.” Flash glanced at the doors and went to them. Opening them he found Reverend Farthing with a glass to his ear. The young vicar looked up at the Prince, Flash sternly glared down at him “Care to explain about this eavesdropping Padre?” Farthing gulped “I’m sorry sir, it’s just I had a cousin who was a drop out of Hogwash’s and I couldn't help over here. I must say from what I heard it sounds like they need some moral education.” He narrowed his eyes at Spike “Which gods are we talking about?” The little dragon shrugged “It doesn’t say.” Farthing hummed “I’m concerned because HAA was founded in the days of the Unicorn Kingdom, when the Unicorn abandoned the Good Lord and started focusing on rituals and magic, against the Lord’s wishes and words of the Prophets.” Flash held up his hoof “Yes Padre, I’ve had similar thoughts and concerns.” Spike continued “Princess Celestia says the tradition can stay, since it’s been around as she puts it “Since Time Immoral”, basically it done because as far as people can remember it’s always been done.” Starlight looked over Spike’s shoulder to read “How it’s done is what I’d like to know.” Spike pulled out another sheet of parchment. “Candidacy is open to any-pony from Wizardry levels one to six. The candidate must then make a prayer to their patron God or Gods, Goddess or Goddess, where they outline their intentions as Archchancellor, the stronger their conviction and more beneficial their promises the more likely they can gain a two-thirds majority of the “Gods”, election periods have been known to last as little as a few hours to days, weeks even months, the longest on record has been three years.” Flash snorted “I’m not stay a week there, let alone three years.” Twilight shook her head “That’s just an extreme case Flash.” She turned back to Spike “So do we have any information on the candidates?” The dragon pulled out another sheet “Yes, two main contenders and one, I’m not sure if this is a joke candidate or not.” “Joke candidate?” “Professor Rinse Wind,” he gave over the image of an Earth Pony male, brown coat and mane with short beard, all a bit rough, dressed in red, complete with pointy hat. Twilight raised an eyebrow “An Earth Pony in a magic school?” Flash nodded too “And that’s an unusual name for an Earth Pony.” Spike found another sheet “I’ve never known Princess Celestia send this much before. Ah, here we are, it’s common for applications to be posted before birth. Rinse Wind had a Unicorn father and a Pegasus mother.” Starlight frowned “And he was born an Earth Pony?” Spike shrugged “More confusing is apparently is his mother disappeared before he was born.” “Before?” “No one’s quite worked that out. He didn’t even get his cutie mark until he was an adult.” Starlight took an interest “Really? How’d that happen?” “Well, say here he failed to get to even the first level, his position is more honorary but still counts. He then saved the school, by accident apparently and he has a knack for it, he once saved it with nothing but a sock filled with half a brick. And all he wants is a quiet life where nothing happens to him.” “And yet,” Twilight said, “he’s applying for Archchancellor?” “I did say it seems more like a joke. Cause he openly says he doesn’t want the position, he’s just applying simple because he knows fate would have his name put down somehow, and he put on his applications' additional comments and in his open prayer to all the Gods if he is chosen he would resign immediately, and resigning the high position of Archchancellor means he would be a traitor to Wizards and expelled.” Flash paused “Actually that sounds like his best option. What about the other two?” “Well, there’s Bright Will, a Unicorn of the Sixth Level, great-great-nephew of former Archchancellor Wildwind, deputy head of the Sixth Order of the school, The Last Order.” Twilight walked up “That sound important.” “Not really, it’s just a drinks club founder hundreds of years ago.” Twilight rolled her eyes “And the other?” “The Dean of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy. Abacus Cinch.” Twilight’s eyes widened and his pupils turned to pinpricks “Did you just say Abacus Cinch?” “Yeah? Problem?” “Maybe.” She started explaining. In the human world Sunset and her friends faced off against the rival, and elite school of Crystal Preps, the top student being Twilight’s human version, who apparently suffered from astigmatism. The then Principle, Abacus Cinch blackmailed Human Twilight into hording magic stolen from Sunset and Co during the Friendship Games, a side effect of this included random release of wild magic from Equestria, allowing her dog, Spike’s alter ego, the ability to talk. And eventually resulted in Human Twilight becoming corrupted and transformed into Midnight Sparkle. “Imagine me turning in something like Nightmare Moon.” She glanced at Starlight, after hearing what happened between the Royal Sisters and Starlight’s anxiety nightmare where she dreamed up the evil alter ego of Princess Celestia, Daybreaker, well, knowing Starlight’s active imagination when it comes to both magic and said nightmare she would have a pretty good idea of what Princess Midnight Sparkle might look like. Then Flash placed his hoof on Twilight’s shoulder “If something like that’s possible, I’m not letting Cinch near you or the triplets.”, she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned to Spike “Tell Princess Celestia we’ll be going, but Spike, I want you to stay and look after the Castle, and tell the girls what’s happening.” “Got it Twilight.” Flash took her hoof “Come on, we’d better pack.” She nodded and followed him out the door. Starlight glanced at Spike “They still in the honeymoon phase?” Spike shrugged “I’d rather not think about it.” He glanced to Farthing “How’s that special project of Twilight’s coming on Reverend?” “I’ve work out a few possible sites, but as to the design I need inspiration.” “How about I get that book on architecture?”, the Reverend nodded “That might help, thank you.” On the grounds of the Academy Flash kept up with Twilight, concerned over her speed. She went from stall to stall looking at the books, ornaments and materials on sale. He just had to fall in love, and marry, and mate, a magics nerd. A bell rang out from a door. Every-pony turned. The doors opened and procession of Ponies in red with pointed hats, no doubt staff and students of the school began walking out. First a middle-aged Unicorn mare, her coat a light opal grey and her mane a spectrum of purples, a thin pair of half rimmed glasses on her nose. Beside her a young Unicorn stallion, only just older than a teenage colt. His coat a murky green topped by a black mane and circle rimmed glasses. Behind them came a big coffin carried by Unicorns of various ages. The most out of place being the front right pallbearer. Just as young as the stallion at the front, a cream coat with brown eyes and a mane and tail of greyish brown, a dark and dull blue, and a bright, almost pinkish purple. Instead of the pointed hat he wore a red fedora, on his feet, white horseshoes. The glasses stallion turned to the mare at the front “Shame about Culler Dean.” “Well,” Dean Cinch said “we all knew it would come, after Emerald Wildwind kicked the bucket, well, he just didn’t take it lightly. You know the old saying Ponders, when a Wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his diner, he’s tired of life.” The identified Wizard Ponders looked at the Dean who shrugged “Merely speculating obviously.” The party reached the gates to the rest of the world. A hearse with a group of Bat Ponies waited outside. The Dean stopped and turned to the gathered wizard “Friends, Colleagues, Students, ladies and gentle-colts. Today we say our goodbyes to the three-hundred and fourth Archchancellor of are fine institution, Riddle Culler the Brown, not the stallion we were expecting, but a fine one and worthy of the title, even if he never wore the hat of office.” A bit of a commotion started from the back and worked its way to the front. The commotion popped out beside the young stallion in the fedora, in the form of a brown and browner Earth Pony, dressed in second, possibly third-hoof robes “Sorry I’m late.” The Dean rolled her eyes “You weren’t invited Professor Rinse Wind. I’d like a word with you in my office later. Now go.” “Yes, ma’am.” Rinse Wind said as he backed up, he bumped into and knocked over the fedora wearing stallion “Oh, sorry Mr Bright Will.” A clockwork mechanism started up. A spike shot out from the coffin, right where Bright Will’s head would have been. All the wizards stared. Flash and Twilight quickly ran up. Flash yelled out “Alright, who was responsible for that?” Twilight glanced at Abacus Cinch before returning to Bright Will. The Dean gulped, her eyes shifted about, every-pony focused on her rival. She took her moment and teleported away. Twilight and Bright Will looked up as the magical discharge. The downed Unicorn glanced up at Flash “I think that answers your question your Highness.” He brushed himself off and looked at the spike “Clever though, I’ll give Abacus points for stealth. I bet she was going to make a long speech about old Culler to hide the ticking. Never thought I’d be a victim of Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.” Flash tilted his head “You seem to be taking the attempted murder quite easily.” “Par for the course here before Riddle came.” “It’s still a crime! She needs to be to justice.” “I agree, but she can’t leave the school, she’s tied to the position on Dean, indeed all members of the Faculty can’t leave unless the Archchancellor permits it, a way of keeping the school running.” Another bunch of voice started up and more of the wizards parted. This time for an Earth Pony mare, very grey, the only colour being her grey violet eyes and the three purple marble balls of her cutie mark. She quickly hugged Bright Will. The unicorn matched the embrace and shushed her “It’s alright Marble, I’m okay.” “Marble?” Twilight asked, “What are you doing here?” Pinkie’s younger twin blushed with a smiled and nodded to Bright Will. Twilight nodded “Oh I see, Mr Wildwind here is your Chosen.” She nodded “Mm-hmmm.”, Bright Will leaned his head on hers “And I thank the Lord she came. I was just as saddened at the death of my distant cousin Emerald as Culler was.” He blinked “Speaking of will need to give his body over to the Necropolitans.” He charged his magic and sliced the spike off and retook his place within the pallbearers. A few more steps forward and they slide the coffin onto the backs of the Bat Ponies before they slid it into the hearse and pulled it away, flying in fact. Bright Will turned to the Flash and Twilight “Right then, let’s go talk with the Dean.” As he walked through the Dean’s Office Bright Will thought about old Riddle Culler. And smirked remembering the fuse and confusion which went through the halls the first few months after his arrival. His full title, Riddle Culler the Brown referred to the Order of Wizardry he belonged to, for him the Venerable Council of Seers, not wearing brown and good relations with birds. When the Faculty called for Riddle they expected he would last for just long enough for the Wizards of the Hogwash’s Arcane Academy to take a break from all the changes in Archchancellors resulting from the tradition of “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.” They assumed Riddle matched the stereotypical idea of a Brown Wizard, a stallion very much like Fluttershy. They got some-pony who loved hunting, talked at a consistent level of shouting, wore trotting suits and carried about as much respect for mother nature as he does for the members of the Faculty, not a lot. At least for the wizards at HAA the tradition has come to a complete stop with him as Archchancellor, he finally put a halt to the traditional method of promotion simply by being indestructible. This is related to his habit of springing up behind would-be assassins, preferably with a crossbow, shouting at them and banging their heads repeatedly into doors. Bright however knew one-day Riddle Culler would die. And given his depression after his dear, female friend’s death, well, some thought it would be soon, they got proven right. This is the main reason why he chose to wear white horseshoes with the red of his uniform attire. If Bright ever became an important wizard in Hogwash’s, a head of an Order or a Faculty Member, or even Archchancellor for example, and the tradition returned it would be unlikely Bright would be kill since no self-respecting ambitious wizard wishing to reach the top position would ever wearing such awful looking shoes, they wouldn’t wish to be seen dead in them. He even wore spats on his hind pair. He opened the office and looked about. A wooden office filled with papers ledgers and various quills. “No-pony in.” He pulled out a deceive “Strange, my tracer says Abacus is here.” He walked over to the massive mirror on the wall “Unless.” Twilight appeared at his side “Mirror Flower and Water Moon’s Reflected Matrix?” “Abacus has been studying that spell for years, that and Malign Green’s Wonderful Garden.” The Princess’s eyes widened “That spell is…” “Extremely hard to preform by regular means. But we use these.” His charge his horn and a staff appeared in his magic. “We store magic, either are own or synthesised wild magic into these to act as magical batteries.” Twilight looked at the staff. The wood a reddish-brown, but with cravings slightly lighter, trying to work out what they were made her eyes hurt, additionally the seemed to change or disappear when she looked at them directly. She turned away and looked at the mirror then she glanced between the two items “Mr Wildwind?” “Yes?” “Look at the frame of the mirror.”, Bright then glance between his staff and the frame as well “So that’s where the staffs went. Abacus must be using them to power her spell.” Flash tapped the pair on their shoulder “Would you please explain what this spell is?”, Marble and Rinse Wind nodded, Flash turned to Rinse Wind “What are you doing here Professor?” “Well the Dean did ask me to see her.” Bright Will smiled and shook his head “This spell is a most likely a combination of firstly, the Reflective Matrix, a spell that creates an alternative world in a mirror which one can observe, and thus determine a possible route to take. It’s quite common here at Hogwash’s. The other spell in this equation is Malign Green’s Wonderful Garden. Malign Green was a great wizard, pre-Star Swirl, who created the Garden as a small timeless, private self-locking universe he could do a bit of thinking while avoiding the cares of the world. One day he closed the entrance after him.” Flash tapped his hoof on his chin “So, Cinch has created a pocket universe which she can control, presumably to plan her moves to become Archchancellor?” Bright Will nodded, and then turned to Rinse Wind and grinned “But one can’t predict Professor Rinse Wind. It’s said even uncertainty is uncertain about you Professor, and most ponies aren’t certain about that either.” Flash trudged up to the mirror “Let’s stop the idle chat, Cinch is hiding in there, how do we get her out?” Bright Will worked over and picked up a small crystal with his magic. He flung it at the mirror and it disappeared inside. He approached it “Seems she forgot to lock the door.” Flash hummed “Or she’s expecting company, she’s got control of that world remember?” “Exactly, we’ll have to exceedingly careful.” “We?” Flash said. “You need a wizard to fight a wizard.”, Twilight walked up “Or a more powerful magic user.”, Flash turned to her “No, Twilight, I’m going to lose you. You’ve got a duty to Equestria in your way, as a Royal Knight this is part of mine.” He hugged her tightly “Take care of the triplets. I love you.” His kissed her on the forehead and let go. He turned to Bright Will. Marble kissed the Wildwind on his cheek. The wizard turned to the Royal Knight, nodding together they jumped in. Twilight turned to Rinse Wind “Will they be alright?”, he shrugged “You talking to the wrong wizard.” He turned to the door “I’d better go tell Ponders and every-pony. Bet they’ll be a lot of hopeful praying when they learn the two top candidates for Archchancellor are currently indisposed.” The door shut after him. Twilight sighed and turned to Marble “So, how did you meet Mr Wildwind.”, Pinkie’s younger twin smiled. In a dark backstreet, a rat scurried over a discarded bone and looked for rotten fruit and straw. A bell tolled the night away. The world looked black, rotten and gothic, you could almost hear the eerie chords of organ music. The rat scurried away. A flash of light burst in the backstreet. Bright Will stumbled and groaned “What an unpleasant journey!” he then looking about “What an unpleasant place.” He then noticed something else “Sentry?” He walked to the end of the street and called again “Sentry? Your Highness?” A loud, and sinister, feminine laughter echoed down the streets. Slowly Bright walked forward. As he entered a courtyard with high raised brink buildings, like a bleak workhouse more laughter, from many ponies sounded. Bright turned to the source and ran. The laughter stopped, and he stopped. Fuming he walked back the other way and stopped at a barrel of water. He scoffed “Well Abacus, I can’t believe you’re in there.” He leaned down. From the water, a pair of hooves grabbed him. “Flash!” he shouted as they pulled his face under. Flash flew in from another street. He kicked one of the hooves and pulled Bright away. Bright spat some water out and collapsed to the ground. Flash looked down at the water in the barrel “There’s no-pony in there.” “Probably a single use trap. Or an illusion.” He got up “We’ve got to stick together. This world is out to kill us, and my grip on reality isn’t great at the best of times.” He brushed the water of his hat. The water turned into a note. Flash grabbed it “What’s this?” It gave off a lavender spark, Flash smirked “Twilight.” He read it out load “Can only do this once or twice. Have been watching mirror, seen Abacus in The Fantasy Factory, Proprietor: Miss J. J. Chambers.” A bright light switched on and the two looked up. The workhouse building now sported a flashing neon and bulb sign saying, ‘The Fantasy Factory’. Bright blinked “Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. So that’s where Abacus got to.” Flash nodded “Got to be careful, it could be another trap.” All the lights in every room switched on illuminating the pair. Flash blinked and squinted “What’s going on?” A door open. A spear fired. Flash pushed Bright out the way. The spear grazed his armour and stuck into the floor. Bright got up and examined it “Looks like Abacus is playing games, she wants to humiliate me first.”, Flash rolled his eyes “Typical.” “Your presence here your Highness makes her task far more difficult and she knows that.”, Flash nodded “And she should also know together we can fight her.” Bright nodded “Let’s go and meet Miss Chambers, if she’s how I think she is.” And they headed for the front door. They entered a wooden office. Sitting at the desk a middle-aged stallion with mutton chops, who wrote into a ledger. They glanced at each other before walking up to the desk. Bright cleared his throat “How do you do? I think we’re expected.” The stallion took no notice and continued writing. The pair looked at each other again. Flash looked down and notice the bell on the desk, he pressed it. The right broke the trance on the clerk who looked up at the pair “Yes?” Bright smiled “We’d like to see the Propitiator please.” “Do you have an appointment sir? Miss Chambers only ever sees people by appointment, most particular about appointments is our Miss Chambers.” “I think you’ll find we are expected.”, the clerk nodded “What is your name sir?” “I am Bright Will Wildwind, Sixth Level Wizard of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy, the Deputy Head of the Last Order, Doctor of Wizardry and Bachelor in Thaumatology, Hyperphysical Ungulomancy.” he leaned into Flash and whispered, “An advanced form of hoof-reading.” Then he returned to the clerk “And Impractical Necromancy.” He then presented Flash “And this is my esteemed associate, his Highness Prince Flash Sentry, Consort of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Royal Knight of Equestria, Captain-General of the Everfree Guard.” The clerk nodded, blotted out the ink on the opened page before he started filing through the other pages in the ledger. Flash looked to Bright Will and whispered, “If Abacus Cinch wants you dead she’s got a funny way of going about it.” “I told you, it’s called humiliation.” Bright returned to the clerk “Could you hurry up please, we haven’t got all day.”, the clerk looked up at them “There are procedures to follow sir. Necessary routines to be completed, even when I’ve found your names there are many forms that need to be inscribed before you may move onto the next stage of processing.” He pointed with his quill to the door behind them “Processing is very important in this establishment, I’m sure that even you will understand such things cannot be rushed.” Bright rolled his eyes and whispered to Flash “Abacus I think is parodying the application process for new students, to try and stall us.” Flash grumbled “If there’s one thing I hate the most it’s paperwork.” He swiftly jumped at the door. The clerk shouted “You can’t go in there! Not with an appointment!” What greeted them in the next room made them stop, the clerk looked up and smiled “Ah, Mr Wildwind, your Highness.” The pair blinked, they stood in an office identical to the one they just came from. And sitting at the desk sat a nearly identical clerk, the only different being the colour of his clothing, and the glasses on his nose. Bright and Flash glanced back into the first office. The clerk there seemed to forget them and simply went back to his ledger. Bright shut the door and returned to the new clerk “Well,” he said, “at least you’re expecting us.” “We all are.” The new clerk said. Flash scowled “Your lookalike out there wasn’t.” The new clerk put his quill behind his ear “He is the exception. The very junior Mr White Collar is not permitted to expect any-pony.” He smiled as he stood up and walked over to a shelf. Flash rolled his eyes “Bureaucracy, thank Celestia Mayor Mare is happy to handle the red tape.” “Instead of that often-derided word, your Highness,” White Collar Senior said placing a ledger on the shelf, he then turned back to the pair “I prefer to call it Order. And the holy writ of Order is procedure. I’m sure you agree.” Flash grumbled while Bright awkwardly chuckled. White Collar Senior continued “For example, you wish to see the Proprietor? Now the correct procedure is to make an appointment.” The pair looked at each other. Bright raised an eyebrow “But we’re already expected.” He stated. “But the Junior Mr White Collar isn’t allowed to expect any-pony.” Flash’s scowl grew angrier “You knew we were coming. Why didn’t you inform him?” “And upset the procedure?” White Collar Senior asked offended, he turned away and muttered “The Junior Mr White Collar has his pride too.” Flash gritted his teeth. Bright tapped him on the shoulder to calm him down and turned back to the clerk “Is there no way to expedite the procedure?” White Collar turned back looking as if some-pony just punched his sainted mother “Expedite?” he exclaimed, “I am a senior clerk sir,” he trudged up to them and yelled in their faces “To me the procedure is sacrosanct. My work is a celebration of all that is prefect. Why speed perfection?” Bright smiled and stated, “Because your employer, or your biggest customer perhaps, wants me dead.” The clerk’s mouth bobbed momentarily before he returned to his desk “You seem to have found the one little weakness in our procedure sir.” He pulled open a draw and took out a sheet of parchment “Would you sign this Mr Wildwind?” “What is this?” Bright said taking it in her magic. “A consent form sir. The corridors in this establishment are very long and dark, should you expectedly die, our blessed proprietor Miss J. J. Chambers insists she inherit your candidacy towards the position of Archchancellor.” Bright looked at the form “So if I die here, and in the outside world I am elected the title will fall to Miss Chambers?”, the clerk nodded “Obviously, Abacus doesn’t trust either her patron or any other god, if any, to elect her.”, he put the parchment down, he charged his horn and grabbed the quill in White Collar Senior’s ear, the clerk however grabbed hold off it tightly, he then gave Bright another quill. Bright smiled, dipped the quill into the inkwell and leaned over the parchment. Flash put his hoof over the signature space “Sign that and you’re a dead pony.” “We’re in Cinch’s domain, she can kill me anytime she likes.” With the quill in his magic Bright wrote down a series of unusual squiggles. Watching from the mirror Marble giggled. Twilight looked to her “What’s funny? Your colt-friend’s just sign his death warrant.” Marble shook her head and in her whispering voice spoke “Bright’s horn-writing is terrible, he can only horn-write in a secret short-hoof of his own making. Every-pony in the school knows, but no-pony knows what they mean, he might not have even signed his name.” Twilight’s eyes widened “So, Cinch is stalling them, but Bright’s managed to stall her?” Marble smiled slyly “Mm-hmm.” Bright finished his, kind of, signature and gave both quill and parchment back to White Collar Senior, the wizard asked, “Now can we see you Proprietor?” Collar pointed to a door “The waiting room is through there, you will be summoned as soon as your signature can be verified.” Now Bright started to fume, but went over to the door, Flash grabbed his shoulder “This is madness!” “Not if it precipitates my meeting with Abacus.”, he opened the door. And immediately stopped. “This is a very odd waiting room.” He stood on a beach. He looked about and smirked “Where are the hopelessly out of date magazines? Eh Flash?” He paused and looked to his side “Flash?” Cinch’s laugh filled the air. Bright shouted about “What have you done with him?” “Look at your own predicament.” Came the omnipresent reply. Bright looked down. A hoof rose out the muddy sands and wrapped around one of his. Bright gritted his teeth and looked up and shouted “This, is an illusion! I deny it!” Another hoof grabbed him. “Not this time.” Cinch called down. More hooves appeared and started to drag him down onto his back and slowly into the sands, “You are dead Wildwind.” When Bright’s head reach sand level Cinch gleefully shouted “Goodbye Wildwind!” and laughed. “NO!” Bright shouted just before his head went under. “Bright!” Flash called out as he flew over a dune. He saw a pair of hindlegs flapping in the air and raced to them. Grabbed the spats. They came off. Bright went under. Flash lowered his head and mumbled a prayer. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us all with the gift of this life and has given to our brother Bright Will Wildwind, his span of years and gifts of character. God our Father, we thank you now for all his life, for every memory of love and joy, for every good deed done by him and every sorrow shared with us. We thank you for his life and for his death, we thank you for the rest in Christ he now enjoys, we thank you for giving him to us, we thank you for the glory we shall share together. Hear our prayers through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.” He threw the spat into the muddy sand. “Amen.” Came a gargled voice from under the sand. Flash jumped “Bright? A voice from the grave?” “Not a voice from the grave. A grave voice.” Bright rose out of the sand without a single stain “Bad joke?” he asked to a perplexed Flash, “That partly the point, everything here is a bad joke. Don’t look so confused you’re Highness, we’re not dealing with reality, more like a toned-down version of a world made by Discord.” “Why waste your breath Wildwind.” Said a voice. They both turned. Abacus Cinch stood, the wind of the sea blowing at her cloak “He is a simply minded oath who struck lucky.” She disappeared and reappeared next to Flash “And you can’t speak of reality as if it is a one-dimensional concept.” Vanished again. Bright turned to his side where she now stood “There is a reality you and I can both agree on. The ultimate reality.” “Death?”, Abacus nodded “The undiscovered country, from whose bourn, no traveller may return.” She jumped, without the actual jumping part, to Bright’s over side, Bright steeled his glare “Puzzles the will.” he added “The Vexing Prince, Act Three Scene One.” “There’s stuff we share in common, I really must rid myself of that.” “What I don’t comprehend is why you want me dead.” He held up his hoof “No, I know why, let me rephrase that, I don’t know why you would go to such lengths as this to kill me.” She disappeared to the top of a far-off sand dune and shouted over “Come now Mr Wildwind. You know as well as I, the position of Archchancellor is held by the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria, Star Swirl the Breaded was offered it, but he turned it down, the fool. I’ve studied, and schemed for many years to become Archchancellor, I’m not going to let Riddle Culler’s favourite student, the quiet one who acts unbecoming of a true wizard to sit on that throne, what is worse is I’d be on the one to coronate you.” As she spoke she jumped, like before from point to point instantaneously, and slowly approached them again “Only by ridding this institution of you and your misplaced morality, you constant crusading, your…” Bright finished off “Idiotic honesty?” “Only by creasing the misguided maxims you live by will I be free to act as I please.” She then vanished entirely. Flash, who remained quiet through all this simply turned to him “Sounds to me as if Armageddon is upon you Bright.” Bright nodded “Now let’s find Abacus. We need to return to The Fantasy Factory.” “But she was here?” “Illusions! She’s a master at them. That was a shadow of her, not the substance. If you want to stay here a build sandcastle be my guest, if you think hard enough you might just conjure a bucket and spade.” He held up his hoof “No, perhaps if we work together, Abacus is but one mind, together we could out think her, literally.” He shut his eyes “Concentrate your Highness. Imagine a door. And on the other side is The Fantasy Factory.” Flash closed his eyes and through. He reached out and touch something, he opened them and found his hoof clutching a doorknob. He then examined the door. He’s been thinking of a simple wooden and painted door on a Ponyville house. The door resembled it, the simple plank wood and paint, but the design, more gothic and with ornate metal hinges. “Well,” Bright said “seems this world decided on a compromise of our together. After you.” Flash nodded and pushed the door open. The pair then walked back into the courtyard with the Fantasy Factory looming over them. Bright Will sighed “Abacus is not letting us inside.” A curtain in one of the factory windows opened, White Collar Senior gazed out at the pair. Bright and Flash reached a set of stairs going up the side of the building. The door at the top of the factory, with the sign above saying ‘Proprietor: J. J. Chambers’, opened and Abacus stepped onto the balcony, a quill pen in her hoof. Bright saw this a fire a magic blast. It bounced off some invisible forcefield. She called down “You really are a second-rate advisory. Did you really think I could be defeated by such a simple attack?” she threw the quill down at them. It hit the ground and exploded. They fell off the ladder. Flash grabbed Bright they flew off. Abacus laughed and threw more quills at them until they disappeared. She returned to her office. Bright dropped the invisibility and shield spell. Flash rubbed his wing “I don’t think I’ll ever look at the quill pen the say way again.” “We’re going to have to fight Abacus another way. We can’t use magic. But,” Bright start circling the courtyard shouting to all and sundry “she overestimates her own cleverness. Like all megalomaniacs she is consumed by her own vanity!” he turned to Flash smugly and said, “that should have enflamed her inflated ego.” He charged his horn and a ladder materialised and rested against the balcony of the main office “Come on.” He said Flash as he started to climb “Let’s find Miss J. J. Chambers.” They entered to office at the top, finding it exactly like the ones from before, even a waiting room door. Flash scoffed “Doesn’t have much of an imagination, does she?” “Not really no.” Bright said filing through the desk “It just occurred to me this office is an exact copy of Abacus’s back in the school.” “Look, what we need to do is draw her out of this spell and into the real world, where the odds will be far better.” “And how do we do that?” Bright said lifting the flap of the desk. “I hate to say this, but, use you as bait?” “Assuming it me that she’s after.” “Excuse me?” “It might not only be me.” “But after all these elaborate lengths.” “They were elaborate, weren’t they? Perhaps too elaborate.” “Dear God,” Flash muttered “an interrupter would be a benefit.” He left the office. Bright found a sheet of parchment “Well, well, well. Look at this.”, dozens of crossed out names written on it. “All the members of the Faculty, the Heads of the Orders, Professor Rinse Wind. Abacus could very well become the most ruthless Archchancellor ever.” The door to the office opened and Mr White Collar Senior walked in, followed by Flash holding a spear. White Collar blustered “I really must protest at this unseemly behaviour, you are contravening all known procedure.” Bright frowned “Where did you find that spear Flash?” “I imagined it. And I’ve persuaded this minion here to show us to his boss, the mysterious Miss J. J. Chambers.” Bright smirked and pointed to the waiting room “Care to lead the way.” White Collar turned pale and begged “No, no! Not through there, Miss Chambers is currently across the courtyard sir.” Flash pressed his spear into White Collar’s neck “If he isn’t they’ll be one less bureaucrat in this Wonderful Garden.” “Wait,” Bright said, and with his magic removed the quill from White Collar’s ear “You won’t be needing this.”, Flash nodded “Good eye Bright.” He then motioned White Collar to continue. They left the office and made their way across the courtyard. They entered another room with a steam engine in it, Bright smiled widely “Just look at this expertly crafted machine! Pride in every cog and piston!” “Bright.” Flash said, “We have other priorities, Cinch?” He glanced at White Collar, the clerk gulped “My employer can’t be far.” Bright nodded “I expect not,” he narrowed his eyes “Mr White Collar.” The clerk smiled unsurely and walked further into the building. Flash glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. Bright nodded, turned around to a table full of tools and various part. He took a bit of cable wire. Quietly they followed the path White Collar made. They turned a corner just catching White Collar closing a pair of doors, with the word ‘Danger’ in capital letters painted across them. The clerk turned around, cleared his throat and nervously said “I’m afraid I can’t seem to find Miss Chambers.” Bright nodded “Yes, I thought that might, be, the, case.” He looked down the corridor to the side of the doors “Who’s that?” White Collar turned around. Flash pounced on him. Bright brought out the cable. Tied the clerk’s hooves and then tied them to a pillar of the corridor. White Collar shouted “Untie me this instant! Miss Chamber will want an explanation for this wicked behaviour.” Bright smiled and charged his horn “Then why don’t we ask her, shall we?” His magic engulfed the clerks face. And ripped the mask off. Abacus Cinch glared at them. Flash then grabbed the top layer of the costume and ripped it off revealing her robes. Flash turned to Bright “How did you know?” “The performance was too grotesque to be real. You always like a bit of theatre, didn’t you Abacus?” he turned to the cupboard with the danger sign “Now then, what are you hiding.” With his magic, he opened the doors. Inside the small space sat a curious machine, like a scaled down version of the Dimension Mirror currently in Twilight’s laboratory, the mirror looked straight out a window to a night’s sky. Bright examined it closely. He glanced back at Cinch “Powering whatever this is with Mirror Magic Cinch?” “Mirror Magic? Like that Juniper Incident Starlight told me and Twilight about?” “Not quite sure what you mean. But I don’t think so. Ancient people distrusted mirrors saying they can suck out a piece of their soul, all superstition has to start somewhere.” “So, wait,” Flash said, “a mirror can do that?” “Not quite, it’s just an image, but an image is tied to the function. Light is the image of energy. Think about this, a mirror can contain the reflection of the whole universe, a whole sky of stars in a piece of silvered glass no thicker than a breath. Think of all the energy being reflected into this, thing. All that, power.” He glanced at Cinch, who smirked. Flash glanced between them “I see, increase your own power. But we’re in an invented universe.” “Make something here, transported to the real one.” Cinch stated she glanced at Bright “And you can’t stop it.”, the young wizard narrowed his eyebrows “Watch me.” He turned to Flash “Get out of here your Highness, this could be dangerous.” “But what about you and Cinch?” “There are other candidates from Archchancellor. Go!” Flash jumped out the mirror and skidded across the floor and into the wall. “Flash!” Twilight cried. She jumped at his side. He rubbed his head before looking at her and smiled “Feels great to be back.” The door opened and Mr Ponders stepped in with other more older ponies he cleared his throat “Where is Mr Wildwind?” They explained. “Ah,” Ponder said “that’s going to complicate things. The gods have chosen Mr Wildwind as Archchancellor.” Bright toyed with various magical tools and the Magic Mirror Machine as he called the device. Cinch tapped her hoof on the floor “You’re elevating futility to a high art. There’s nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality.” Bright glanced back “If you complied this monstrosity it only follows that I, a wizard of your level remember, should be able to unravel it.”, he banged a group of wires from there place, it sparked violently. He then tightened a spring and flicked a switch. The machine blew. Bright turned to her “Eureka! And you said it couldn’t be done.” Cinch looked worried “What have you done?” “Reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.” “But the feedback! The mirror! That mirror is inside one, it’s a multi-facade setup!” Bright’s eye widened and they both looked back. The mirror shattered. The mirror shattered. Two bodies fell out. “Bright!” Marble cried as she came to his side and felt him “He’s out cold.” Ponder walked up and felt his pulse “He’s not dead.”, he went to the Cinch and did the same “Neither is the Dean.” He opened her eye lid “There minds aren’t here though, they’re just empty vessels now.”, Marble sobbed and held Bright’s head to herself. Flash looked to Twilight “What happened?” “That’s the trouble with using multiple mirrors for magical proposes, too much of youself gets trapped within them." Abacus Cinch looked about at the multi-layered silvery world “Where, where am I?” “Inside the broken mirrors.” said a voice, a voice like lead slabs being dropped on granite. With an echo, one might here within a tomb. Abacus turned, and gasped. Before here stood an Alicorn. A male Alicorn. A male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia. A pale green male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia. A pale green male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia, cloaked in the darkest black, indescribably black, light simply absorbed into it. He also carried a scythe at his side. Abacus stepped back “I, I, didn’t think you were real, I thought you were a myth.” “I am a myth, that’s what makes me real.” “Am I dead?” “The answer to that is somewhere between yes and no.” Abacus turned around. A billion other Abacus Cinchs turned with her, the Grim Reaper’s reflection appeared nowhere. “When can I get out?” “When you find the version of you that is real.” Abacus started running through the endless reflection. Bright looked about at the multi-layered silvery world “Where, where am I?” “Inside the broken mirrors.” said a voice, a voice like lead slabs being dropped on granite. With an echo, one might here within a tomb. Bright turned, and blinked, then he approached and raised an eyebrow “Does this mean the Book of Revelations is canon?” “Let the church leader decide that one.” “Is your name really just Death?” “I am the Prince of Death. Thanatos. It’s lifetime position. My Uncle held it before me.” “I see.” He looked about at the mirrors, the faces of a billion other Bright Will Wildwinds stared back at him. “When do I get out?” “When you find the version of you that is real.” Bright looked down and felt himself “This one.” Thanatos smiled “When you’re summoned to present yourself at Canterlot, please tell Celestia and Luna I said hello. I imagine they’d to know how their little brother is doing.” Bright blinked as he faded. “And please tell Princess Twilight that our elder brother Orcus should be able to help with her foal fallacy.” Bright opened his eyes and looked up at a crying Marble. He could hear her whispering his name. His hoof took her. She shifted and looked at him. He smiled and tilted his head “Have I done something wrong?” Marble blinked. Before any-pony could say anything, her lips crashed into his. Bright sat on the throne. Marble sat on a small chair beside him. His idea. Holding hooves. The Faculty stood around them, except for the Dean of course, the position of Vice-Dean to act in Abacus’s place would be yet to be filled. The other staff, the students and other wizards stood before them. The Six Heads of the Orders of Wizardry, the six houses of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy walked up to the throne. On their backs, they carried a large velvet cushion. On it, the Archchancellor’s Hat. A good hat. A magnificent hat. Pointy, of course, with a wide floppy brim, but after disposing of these basic details the designer really got down to business. Gold lace, and pearls, and bands of purest ermine, and sparkling gemstones, and some incredibly tasteless sequins. Ponder, acting Vice-Dean took the hat with his magic and place it on Bright’s head. Flash, who with Twilight stood in a corner leaned and whispered, “Bright looked better with the fedora, didn’t he?”, she nodded, momentarily she placed hoof on her ever-expanding baby bump. She wondered what Orcus would do to help her. He was the eldest of Celestia’s siblings, but what connected the current guarding of the tomb of their grandfather the Apostle Prue Gift with Alicorn foals? Well, maybe he witnessed Celestia’s, Luna’s and apparently Thanatos’s birth. Maybe he saw a method to control the unstable magic of an Alicorn foal demonstrated by Flurry Heart. Twilight blinked, and smiled hopefully. Ponder turned to the gathered and called out “Would the Student Body, and the gather wizards of Equestria, please acknowledge, the three-hundred and fifth, Archchancellor.” Every-pony with staffs banged them three times, before all bowed to Bright and Marble. Bright smiled and nodded “Thank you, every one of you.” He stood up and stood tall “As first act as Archchancellor, I hereby abolish the practise of Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.” Murmurs filled the room. Bright narrowed his gazed and silenced them “I realise the tradition has a reason for existing, but it is not a good reason. As such I propose two changes.” Flash and Twilight smiled at Bright’s authority, and thus they let themselves out quietly.