//------------------------------// // March 31st // Story: Closet Pony // by DouglasTrotter //------------------------------// >>>March 31st, 2:35 AM<<< It all started with something soft poking my right cheek.  For the life of me, I can't understand why I thought that "something" would be benign.  I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part. "Do you mind coming with me?" a voice said, those six little words seemingly innocent. I opened my left eye, and the visage of the horse-sized problem, that now resided in this house, came into view.  Like the good little the idiot I am, I rolled over, groaned, and then got out of bed.   The dear princess, who stood near my bed, added a "please" in that quiet, regal tone of hers before she walked off down the hallway. After a few yawns and a quick bathroom trip, I found myself outside with the new house guest. No frogs croaked; no crickets chirped; no wind blew against the trees to rustle their leaves.  Silence, the absolute silence of it all grained against my ears while I stood there in a t-shirt and sweatpants on the cool concrete pool-deck.  The silence didn't make the moment odd.  It was the sheer, non-eerie, if that's even a word, sense of it all.   The silence had a sensation of purpose to it, and, when I sat down in the chair near Princess Celestia, I could see the wheels turning behind those purple eyes.  The brilliant white dot in the sky reflected off her eyes, along with the stars.  "Do you promise to keep a secret,"  the princess said in a calm tone, "really promise to keep this secret?" A blind person could understand the situation.  The powerful storm that surged within that princess's mind was all too apparent, the way she remained silent while gazing towards the moon before turning towards me. Like a fool, I said, "Ok, I promise.  What is it you want me to do?" Princess Celestia lowered herself to the ground, and then nodded. "O no. No, no, no, and heck no." I said.  This princess was beyond insane.  I wasn't about to kick the bucket on the hunch of some weird, telepathic, magical flying horse.  Of course, I didn't have a choice.  "Fine.  Don't blame me if this flowing mane smells like spaghetti and ice cream." This living rocket bolted into the sky, giving a quiet chuckle while I held on for dear life after she levitated me onto her back. After a minute, we were several hundred feet off the ground.  Soon after that minute passed, the princess understood what I meant. I'd never sky-dived, but that was the closest I wanted to come to it, ever again.  Princess Celestia caught up, profusely apologized, and asked if I wanted to continue.  Between the momentary loss of oxygen and the fact we were resting on a cloud, again I hate freaking magic, I lost the words to say.  It's beyond my rational thought right now why I just nodded to her, but, with that simple gesture, we continued. Propelled by the magical dynamo's power, I had done what few could ever dream of doing, what few had ever done. Princess Celestia and I were greeted by a vast landscape that led into a dark void, an airless environment just a sneeze away outside this atmosphere of the protective bubble around the two of us.  My bare feet touched the gray-white soil of the moon's surface.  A magical beam surged forth from the princess's horn.  The beam went up and down the landscape, akin to some futuristic, sci-fi scanner from a movie.  The pony scanned the moon non-stop while me moved across that barren, desolate, white-sandy ocean.    She'd turn and scan an area, and then repeat the process over and over again.   One moment peaked her interest, but the princess let out an exhausted sighed. After the final, loudest sigh, she motioned towards me. "I appreciate the company.  Would you be willing to re-visit the moon with me? " Princess Celestia said, the world around us shifting to the sight of my house.  In a flash of light we had reappeared on the pool deck were we had "launched" from so earlier ago.  The princess retired to my study after I agreed to her request. For over half an hour, maybe the better part of an hour, I've been gazing at this, this moon rock to help me find the words to fathom what happened.  The princess teleported us home In a flash of light, just like that we were back at the house.   Why we couldn't just teleport to the moon from the beginning? Why did she need to fly to it? Another question plagues my mind as well.  What did she hope to find on the moon? Though, if memory serves me right, the simplest solution tends to be the right one.  The best, educated guess is that it has to do with my dream about the blue smoke.  Princess Celestia hounded me to no end about it for the past four days.  Perhaps she thinks it's the key to getting these fillies and herself back home.  If she can get all of them back home, it'll be a load off my back. I'll also note a rather grim fact on this entry.  The rope tied to the bed in the family room is now gone. The Cutie Mark Crusaders took it hard, even with Princess Celestia assuring them it would be alright.  To be blunt, I think this princess is stringing the fillies along, and it's not right.  I understand that a parent tries to reassure their child things are ok when times are bleak.  I know that my own -- I need to get to sleep.  I'm no use to anyone when I'm an irritable pain in the butt. ---End Entry--- >>>March 31st, 7:35 AM<<< "Please don't go," I stretched out, "Please. I don't, I don't want to be alone...." Deep down, in my heart-of-hearts, I've always wondered something.  "Is it so wrong to want a family?" "I don't mind tal--" Princess Celestia said. "It never happened." I said. "It takes a lot of courage to face your fears." Princess Celestia said. "It. Never. Happened." I repeated myself, gazing at the alicorn before she walked away. Is there a word stronger than embarrassed?  I don't know of any word that could describe what happened when I woke up from that nightmare to see the princess resting a wing on me.  It took a few seconds to wake up, really wake up and realize I had clutched onto this horse-sized thing with wings and a horn, crying my eyes out all the while pushing my face into her chest.  I'm so pathetic. Anyways, I've got to get my mind out of the clouds.  Well, speaking of clouds, I caught the dear princess giving Scootaloo some flight lessons early this morning.  I wanted to scold the two of them, yet all I could do was crack a slight smile as the little filly pegasus enjoyed her little flight lesson.  Not wanting to be "that guy" in the situation, I just cautioned them to keep their little flight lessons to early morning exercises. Though, now that I'm somewhat awake and had something to drink, what occurred does beg the prominent question with the dear princess here right now.  How does magic work? Is "magic" something these ponies tap into, an energy field that's unknown to humanity? Or is it something innately instilled into these creatures when they're born? What if the old stories are true about humans and "magical" powers.  Could current day humans use magic? Scratch that notion.  It's a bad idea.  I mean big-time bad idea.  Humans using magic in this day and age would be the worst thing to befall this planet.  Even something as simple as a levitation spell could prove disastrous.  Look what happened when humanity decided to harness the power of the atom for the atomic age. In any event, breakfast  won't fix itself.  Not to mention I need to keep that alicorn's mouth shut lest she chat with those fillies about my breakdown.  I can't let Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, or Sweetie Belle know I had another one.  That's the last thing they need right now. ---End Entry--- >>>March 31st, 3:35 PM<<< "Thank you for sending your resume.  We regret to inform you there are no positions at this time.  Our group wishes you success in your endeavors." Just lovely, the same, ridiculous, mundane, monotone message every place sends me.  Whatever, that's the sixth place down inside of a week.  I'm not surprised, not anymore.  The job market around here is bone dry, so dry it's not even funny enough to joke about right now. Though people say you have to think about yourself, I feel selfish whenever I do since there are others suffering like me or worse than I am right now.  Houses in the area are going up for sale while other homeowners just walk away from their property.  It's a version 2.0 housing recession.  What jobs are out there want people with three to five years "required" experience, want  bachelor or masters degrees bare minimum, or a combination thereof for potential employment.  Heck, even the entry level jobs want people with bachelor degrees and a minimum of three years experiences plus certifications. I'm running out of options. "Nothing is easily obtained.  You must fight for it." Princess Celestia said, sitting near me.  She sat there and sipped on some tea, levitating the cup and saucer in front of her.  The princess took it upon herself to stick rather close to me this day.  Those eyes focused on the screen then turned towards me.  "Your notes on that machine are quite interesting." "Curiosity killed the cat." I said.  The cup in the princess's levitating grasp clanked against the saucer.  The two of us traded glaring glances.  I'd never insinuate harm against her, but I will not tolerate some nosey thing that feels it knows best peering over my shoulder and spying on me.  Never again, NEVER AGAIN will I allow someone to dictate my life.  "I suggest you not peak at my files on this machine.  It contains stuff that I like to keep 'private,' if you know what I mean." "Very well, your privacy is your own right.  However, I will let you know that harm against me or my little ponies will not be tolerated." Princess Celestia said. "I suggest we drop the subject before one of us says something they'll regret." I said.  The princess got up, walked toward the fillies, and sat down near them on the couch near the TV.  I'll repeat this for my own sake in these notes.  I won't tolerate a nosey thing that feels it knows best spying on me. ---End Entry--- >>>March 31st, 5:35 PM<<< I had to bite my tongue. "Please, it's for your own good.  You should --" my relative reached forward. "Don't touch me." I said, pulling my hand away. "I know you're angry.  You have every right to be angry.  For your own good, you should move out of this house.  It won't help matters living here." my relative said. It took every ounce of restraint I had to keep from reaching across the table.  This, this person almost cost me my lively hood because of their selfishness, their pure narcissistic, greedy behavior disguised as kindness and generosity. "I'm going to say this once and nicely as possible.  Please. Leave. Now." I said. "There's no reason to be rude.  I was just checking in on you.  I do care about you, regardless of what you may believe." my relative said. "You don't own this house.  Get out, now." I said. In all honesty, I brought this misery upon myself.  It's what I get for trusting someone. "Are they gone?" Apple Bloom said, gazing from the door. "Yea, my 'relative,' if you can call them that word, they're gone." I said.  From 4pm to 5pm unfolded a rather unpleasant experience.  These poor fillies had to flee into the study room with Princess Celestia, making sure the blinds were closed so my relative couldn't see them from the outside.  Damn nosey relative almost went out into the study till I started looking at their phone.  Know for a fact they were recording the conversation even though it's considered against the law.  "Sorry about shoving you all out there in the study.  That person is the last one you should meet." "Why does your relative irritate you?" Princess Celestia said. "I'd rather not talk about it," I sighed, "but, judging from the looks I'm getting, you won't let it go, will you?" The princess and fillies shook their heads. In half an hour I did my best to explain in a few, concise, choice-words my displeasure with the relative that decided to pop-on-by for a visit.  One detail I didn't forget to mention was how the person always liked to surreptitiously move around behind the scenes to bend things to their whim.  They didn't care about me.  Correction, my relative never cared.  I'm just some case-study for them to investigate and figure out what makes me tick.  Not to mention I'll never forgive them for losing what should have been rightfully placed in this house a long time ago. ---End Entry--- >>>March 31st, 10:35 PM<<< "I'd like to apologize for going through your 'files' on that machine." Princess Celestia said. "What did you learn?" I said. The princess sat near me, and then rested her chin on my shoulder. "You've been through so much, haven't you.  Does this happen to all humans?" She said. My hands were clenched, yet they relaxed just as quickly. " Some are born without a care in the world.  Others aren't so lucky.  Though I've been lucky to never face homelessness, starvation, or grave ill-health, I haven't been as lucky as others.  You've probably seen my notes and what I've written." I said.  It took some time to find my composure, to continue with what I wanted to say. "In all honesty, I'd like things to be a lie, something I made up for a book.  Those pictures hanging in the hall, it's something I'll never have again." Princess Celestia removed her chin from my shoulder and looked at me. "What keeps going?" "Tenacity, stubbornness, it's hard to say.  There are times where I just have the sensation of being a windup toy that has its key turned in the morning, winding down a night." I said. "You've no doubt heard that me and my precious sister have lived for well over a millennia, correct?" she said. On that note, I listened to the pony's tale of her coming to Equestria and helping to bring peace and prosperity.  She also spoke of losing many of those she cared about while governing Equestria.  Over her lifetime, she watched many of her friends' manes grey as they grew older, soon passing away. The princess, who sat in front of me, spoke in a way that did nothing to stroke her own ego.  Princess Celestia just sat there and said how she could sympathize with losing an individual you cared about, being powerless in the face of reality.  When she finished her tale, the old part of felt angry.  That part of me was angry because it sensed the same emotion of people around me saying I should quit "whining" because others have it worse.  On the other-hand, what feeling dominated me was the fact this pony, this individual listened to me.  She sympathized with me.  Princess Celestia didn't chastise me, scrutinize me, or try to lord over me with her own problems.  The princess just sat there and listened to my frustrations and anger. "If you ever want to talk, I am always willing to listen." Princess Celestia said. After a final, soft hug from the princess, she left to the study to rest. Stupid.  Stupid, stupid, stupid horse.  I can barely see the screen while I try to type this up. ---End Entry---