//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Tales of Discord // by Moelogroc //------------------------------// Twilight settled in to read the next chapter of Discord’s book, lifting an eyebrow at some notes scrawled in the margin above the words. Hello dear reader. Have you been enjoying the stories so far? Do my little tales amuse you? If not, then perhaps it will please you to know that this chapter is going to be a little different. You see, instead of using chaos to spice up one pony’s life this chapter, it tells how I made my grand appearance, making that “Village of the Three Races” into the stepping stone for taking my throne! Hope you enjoy. Love and kisses, Discord Twilight scoffs, shaking her head. “’Love and kisses’? That’s not how you end a note, Discord.” She decides not to copy that note into her book, instead moving straight on to the story. Surely one little omission won’t hurt, right? **** Discord floated through the air, doing a little spin of joy. He could feel his power growing, his influence spreading through the land. “It never gets old, does it? Spreading chaos and just having fun with life! My own life, and the lives of these ponies. It almost makes me want to… break into song…” Look at this place! Isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think that my life is complete? Though I do tend to want so much more, more from things I play with. I see this village, what does it hold? What opportunities could I unfold? Looking around here, you’d think, “They’re all boring, predictable, orderly folk. They have routines, all the same, nothing fun.” You see a life? I see existence. It’s so dull. There’s no fun. I want more! I want to spread some excitement ‘round here! I want to laugh, laugh at their misfortune! But these ponies are so… oh, what do they call it… tame. I suppose being a spirit, I’m a spirited guy. Just looking for things that are fun, or entertaining. And yet, everything seems so… how to describe it… lame. They’ve nowhere to hide, nowhere to run! But don’t worry, ponies, I’m just having fun! Wandering free, I’m going to see, chaos unfold. How could I stare, at their lives, and then not help them? It just isn’t fair! It’s so dull and routine! I’ll shake up their day, spice it up, I say! Make things chaotic. Something to enjoy, a shiny new toy, for me to play with! I am a lord who is sometimes bored. I have urges and need to fulfill them. After I’ve had my fun, I simply won’t… what’s the word… care. It’s time for a change! Nopony will know, what I have planned for you all below! My legacy: You all will see, chaos unfold. Discord snapped his fingers, disappearing in a burst of light. He reappeared in the center of town, holding a trumpet in his paw. He took a deep breath, blowing into the trumpet, producing a long, loud, and nasally kazoo sound. The ponies all found themselves physically dragged toward Discord, and when the sound of the kazoo-trumpet finally ended, every pony in town found themselves in a heap surrounding the draconequus. “Greetings, ponies! It is I, your new lord and master, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, the draconequus with the most-equus, DISCORD!” Two bursts of confetti exploded behind him, and the ponies stared in shock and confusion. Discord opened his eyes, looking at the villagers in annoyance. “Oh, come on! A little response, please? Even a scream of terror?” A pink Earth mare with a flower in her mane screamed in terror, then fainted. Discord rolled his eyes, tossing the trumpet away. “Well, it’s a start.” He snapped his fingers, and the ponies all found themselves standing, while Discord was seated on a chair made of marshmallows. A brown Earth stallion stepped forward, pointing a hoof at Discord. “Who are you, and where did you come from?” Discord sighed in annoyance, facepalming. “Didn’t you hear my grand introduction? I’m not doing it again.” Twin beams of scarlet light burst from his eyes, striking the stallion. With a puff of smoke and the sound of a clock winding, a brown Earth colt now stood in the stallion’s place. “I’m Discord, and I’m taking over!” Dramatically lifting his claw, he telekinetically dragged a grey Pegasus out of the sky. A muffin landed in his claw, and nopony was sure exactly what happened to the mare. “Any questions?” Discord bit the top of the muffin off, tossing the rest into a nearby field. When it hit the ground, it turned into a grey headstone, engraved with the words: Here lies a grey Pegasus. A wonderful pony, but a terrible muffin. Seriously. She didn’t have blueberries or anything. Seeing this, the ponies panicked, fleeing from the town square as quickly as possible. Discord snapped his fingers, randomly teleporting ponies to various parts of town, resulting in mass confusion and several collisions. “I’ll take that as a ‘No’, then!” He ducks as a large stallion flies overhead, propelled by something just out of sight. “Hey! That almost hit me!” Discord’s marshmallow throne melts away, leaving him sitting casually in the air, one leg crossed over the other. The sticky mess flows over the fainted mare, picking her up and depositing her safely in her home. “Poor dear. And she was so kind, greeting me before anypony else did.” Discord animates all the flowers in her house to keep an eye on her while she sleeps, the sight of which would cause her to faint in terror all over again in ten minutes. ---- Ponies fleeing the town find themselves teleported right back inside, running back into town instead of out. One large mare gives up after the third try, grumpily sitting down and refusing to run anymore until she’s allowed to flee in a proper manner. “Oh, you’re no fun.” grumps Discord, crossing his arms and scowling at her. The mare sticks her nose in the air, declares “Hmmph!” and refuses to even look at the Lord of Chaos. Discord nods his approval, then hops off to find somepony else to torment. ---- A particularly confused lavender unicorn looks around at all the chaos, uncomprehending. Discord rows a kayak past her, stopping to tickle under her chin. “Keeping up with everything, my dear? The fun’s only getting started! There’s so much more to see! Join me!” He grabs the mare, putting her in a life vest and seating her in his kayak as he rows across the ground, gouging out a section of street. Discord turns his head to look at any unseeable viewers, an apologetic look on his face. “Sometimes reality ensues, folks. Deal with it.” Everything goes black for a moment, the sounds of chaos and terror still sounding out. The lavender mare quivers in fright, while Discord comforts her with his words. “There, there. Just giving you a moment to rest, take in all you’ve seen. Here, let’s take a break. Just assume that more chaos is happening, though. Your poor mind just can’t handle it all.” He pats her head softly, grinning in a friendly way. **** Twilight rubs her head, finding her mane slightly ruffled. She stops, shivers, and resumes reading. **** “One week later, in a secret meeting place!” Everypony in the room turns to look at the brown earth stallion questioningly, causing him to grin sheepishly and rub his head. He hides his face behind his poofy pink mane, waving a hoof to indicate the others continue. The speaker of the group, a blue unicorn mare wearing a fancy purple suit, gives the stallion a withering glare before continuing. “…Right. Now, as I was saying, before Cotton so rudely interrupted me, the time to strike is now! The six of us are our village’s only hope! Our last breath! The final barrier against the tyranny of our manic, megalomaniacal invader! The-!” “Thank you, we get it…” The leader of the group, a white-coated unicorn in shining steel armor interrupts. “This isn’t one of your court cases. You can spare us the theatrics, Consul.” Legal Consul returns Silver Shield’s glare, but steps down anyway. “As you wish, Captain Shield.” “Now, then. Amy, how certain are you that Discord will be resting today?” Silver Shield turns to a lavender unicorn mare (whom you may recognize from the kayak), holding her head high. Amy (real name Amethyst Shine) nervously steps forward, clearing her throat. “Quite certain. Cotton Candy and I were there when he retreated into that cooking pot. We heard him say-“ “Ah, that was fun! Time for a quick nap! See you in a week, my little ponies!” Cotton Candy helpfully speaks up, finally done hiding behind his mane. The pink earth mare beside him stares suspiciously, unnerved by his uncanny impression of Discord. The final member of the group, a sky-blue Pegasus with a mane comprised of six different shades of gray, swoops into the middle of the group, pounding one hoof against the other. “So let’s go! Now’s our only chance to strike, while he’s weakened from causing so much trouble these past few days!” He looks around at the others, daring one of them to challenge him. “Agreed, Sergeant Storm Front. Now is when we strike!” Captain Shield steps forward, hefting the silver shield that is her namesake. “Everypony, grab your anti-chaos weapons! Notched Pickaxe, take us to the secret tunnel you’ve prepared!” The pink mare salutes sharply, grabbing her enchanted pickaxe that is her namesake in her teeth. She lets out a muffled war cry, charging forward and bursting through the thin façade covering the tunnel. Amethyst Shine blinks, staring after the crazed pink mare. “How did we not see her dig that?” Shrugging, she grabs her anti-chaos daggers in her telekinesis, charging after Notched Pickaxe. Captain Shield and Sergeant Storm Front follow, the later grabbing a warhammer that crackles with electricity. Legal Consul and Cotton Candy trail behind, the former equipping herself with a spray bottle of Liquid Order, the latter grabbing a white plate holding a sandwich. So armed, the Final Hope of the Village of the Three Races charges into battle! Legal Consul gets three steps before tripping over a molehill, landing flat on her face. Cotton Candy tosses the plate at her, and she instinctively devourers the sandwich in five bites. “Feel better?” Cotton asks. “Yes… much!” Consul replies. “Good.” grins Cotton. Cotton stamps a hoof onto Consul’s head, causing her to explode into a flurry of blue pixels. “YOUR HEAD A SPLODE” monotones Cotton, grabbing his plate and trotting after the others. A new sandwich spontaneously appears on the plate, and Cotton grins wickedly. ---- Notched Pickaxe bursts from the ground, landing on all four hooves and panting heavily. Digging the final hundred feet of tunnel at a 30 degree angle upwards was more tiring than she had anticipated when she took off running from the secret lair. She is standing in front of a cooking supply store; Amy, Captain Shield, and Sergeant Storm Front appear a few seconds later. “Right! I’ll go in first! Luckily my shield will protect me.” Captain Shield approaches the door, which is knocked off it’s hinges by Storm Front’s hammer. At her glare, the pegasus jumps back, nodding. “Just clearing the way, ma’am.” Captain Shield walks inside, a single cooking pot on a shelf in front of her. She raises her shield, yanking the lid off the pot with her telekinesis. “Your reign is at an end, Discord!” When nothing happens, she slowly lowers her shield, looking into the pot. “Wha? Empty?” A lions paw suddenly erupts from the pot, grabbing Shield by her fabulous mane and hauling her inside the pot. She shrieks in terror as the lid slams back into place, knocking the pot to the floor. It hops around, loud clangs and bangs resonating from inside it as the others outside watch helplessly. After a moment, it sits perfectly still. “Go touch it.” Cotton Candy prods Pickaxe forward, causing her to jump in surprise. “I’m not gonna touch it, you touch it!” She prods Amy, pushing the unicorn forward. “What?! No way, Sarge should touch it!” She prods Storm Front, pushing him closer to the store. “Me?! This was your call, Amy, you touch it!” He hops behind her, pushing her forward. “Yeah, but it was Cotton’s information that brought us here! He should touch it!” She runs over to Cotton, pushing him forward. “Me? But it’s Discord’s pot, make him touch it!” He gets behind Discord, pushing him forward. “Okay, I’ll touch it.” Discord says, going over to the pot. The remaining four ponies sigh in relief, watching in terrified anticipation as Discord looks over the pot. He lifts the lid, but nothing happens. All five sigh in relief, their terror vanishing in an instant. Storm Front suddenly looks up, anger, terror, and confusion all crossing his face. “Wait.” “Took you long enough.” Discord waves cheekily. Screams of terror fill the shop as Amy and Cotton flee, Sarge and Pickaxe balking before the Mad God in front of them. Discord busts out laughing, slapping his knees in good humor. “Oh, this is just too good!” His laughter is short lived, as he catches a hammer to the face. His eyes bug out as Sarge smacks him across the cheek with his hammer, staggering Discord. Sarge turns to Pickaxe, terror on his face. “Run!” Discord grabs Storm Front in his eagle claw, the roof breaking away as he grows to giant size. Storm Front struggles feebly in Discord’s grip, dropping his hammer as he does. It impacts the ground with a comical *squeak*, but the humor is instantly ruined by Storm Front’s scream of fright. Discord shakes Storm Front viciously, stopping after a few moments and glaring at the stallion. Storm Front reels, dizzy from the ordeal. Discord grabs a tiny inflatable hammer from behind his back, smacking Sarge in the face. It squeaks adorably, causing the pegasus to stare in confusion. “W… What?” Discord lets go, making Storm Front fall. Before he can hit, Discord swings the hammer, now grown to giant size itself, striking Storm Front and sending him flying over the horizon. A brief twinkle in the sky marks the stallion’s departure, accompanied by a faint *ting* sound. “Home run!” Discord growls in satisfaction. Pickaxe, meanwhile, had turned and ran, hiding behind a building. She pants heavily, bracing herself against the wall. Discord, back to regular size, floats around the street, calling out to her. “Pickaxe, come out to PLA-AY!” She digs under the dirt with her tool, replacing it above herself as she does. Safely tucked away beneath the dirt, she waits for Discord to leave. She gulps in panic when she hears his voice above her. “That’ssss a nice hiding place you have there. It’d be a shame if something were to happen to it…” A soft hissing sound emanates from above, followed by a large explosion. Pickaxe remains unharmed, but so does Discord. “Found you!” he cries in delight, grabbing Pickaxe and lifting her up to look him in the eyes. She responds by embedding the pickaxe into his head, right between the eyes. “Eat anti-chaos, demon!” Discord look at her bemusedly, then at the tool between his eyes. “Well. That’s annoying.” He plucks the tool out of his face, tossing it into the sky. Somewhere, in another dimension entirely, it lands in a rock on top of a mountain, awaiting some brave soul to reclaim it. Notched Pickaxe grins sheepishly, staring the bemused spirit in the eyes. “Uh… sorry?” Discord cocks an eyebrow, then shrugs and lowers her to the ground. “Well, if you’re sorry, then I guess I can forgive you. Now run along.” He pats her backside, pushing her forward. She turns her head to look at him in confusion, tilting her head. “Really?” “Yeah. Go on, off with you.” Giving her rump a light kick, he gets her walking. She walks away, breaking into a trot, then a full gallop as she runs away as fast as she can. Discord grins happily, watching her go. “She’s gonna turn out to be juuuust fine.” ---- Amy and Cotton catch their breath, their weapons forgotten and their hearts heavy. Amy looks at Cotton in despair, clutching her chest as she struggles to breathe. “Oh, Cotton! What’re we gonna do now?” Cotton instantly recovers, grinning at the lavender mare. “Simple. We’re gonna play a little game.” He snaps his eagle talons, causing a broom to appear in front of Amy. He shifts seamlessly into Discord, patting Amethyst Shine on the head affectionately. “You were always my favorite, Amy. Those others were real jerks sometimes. You were a janitor before you joined that little ‘resistance group’, so why not take it up again? Here’s how the game works: I cause chaos, you try to clean it up! If you can fix things by the end of the day, I’ll take the next day off! Otherwise, we start again in the morning. Sound fun?” Amy stutters, staring in shock. “B-b-b-but… What about Cotton?” Discord waves a paw dismissively. “Oh, that was me all along. A simple trick for me to be in two places at once. Besides, it’s fun! Now come on! Let’s go play our game. Being a janitor’s not so bad! It could be worse: you could be a librarian.” He turns to look at the unseeable viewers, grinning maliciously. “Yes, I mean you. You know who you are, Miss TS.” He leads Amethyst Shine away, the poor mare crying silently. **** Twilight suddenly feels a shiver go down her spine, and a dark chuckle echo through the room. Her eyes itch from the dust, and she rubs them furiously. “Brr… this is starting to feel like a horror story… I wonder how it ends!” She eagerly turns the page, the light from her lantern reflecting off her red pupils…