I'm so tired, why don't you just leave me alone, ciboire!
"Now, Master Solus, focus! What would your august Mother would say if she knew you didn't pay attention in class?"
I'd rather not think about that, thank you very much. Haven't I done enough yet? I'm just four and I'm already more verbose than a colt thrice my age, and I know more about etiquette and the history of the Empire than somepony five time my age.
"As I was saying, in order to master the Telekinesis Spell, you must find your mana font and allow it to run through your veins. When you feel you have enough, picture the object you desire to lift, its shape and its weight. Your mana should form a shell around the object. The feedback from it should allow you to know how much mana is required to lift the object."
You make it sound so easy, like you did the first dozens times. Can't you see I'm exhausted?
"Please proceed to cast the spell, my Prince."
Seemingly not. Very well. Deep breaths. In, and out. Feel my breath and find the source, that which allow me to live, that which make my heart beat, the fire that keep me warm and the light of my soul.
Yes I know it's dramatic, but it works.
Talking of which, I've found it, my mana font. Warm and full of life. I coax the cerulean energy to flow free and I try to direct it to my horn. I know it's cliche, but there really is no word to describe the feeling of magic coursing through you. Now I only have to get it out of my horn and wrap it around the feather. Yes, I did say feather. There are times where I feel my life has become plagued by a cliche storm. Woe is me. At any rate, picturing. A feather of white and light of weight. Wrap the mana around it, feel how the mana responds and... lift!
Ah! I did it! Bow to my psychokinetic might, puny mortals!
"Very good, Your Highness", my teacher says. "Now, move it around the room."
Oh.
Should have known it wouldn't be that easy. There's no point in whining, let's get to it.
"... on the left, my Prince."
Which one on the left, you utter plothole!? Maybe that one? I pick one at random with my hoof. Lucky me that there is a easy to use tactile telekinesis magic available to all ponies.
Whack!!!
Ouch! Calisse de tabernack!
"Not that one! That one there, just beside it. Try and make an effort, Your Serene Highness."
Which side? Oh, whatever!
'Ma petite vache a mal aux pattes, tirons-la par la queue, elle ira bien mieux, un, deux...'
That one, it seems.
Whack!!!
Oh, f*ck you!
"Are you even trying?" My tormentor lifts one of the fork with her magic. "It's that one! It's so simple! How can you get it wrong!"
Says you.
"Now, pick the dessert fork."
Fuuuuuuuuuuu...
"...and we have her Divine Radiance, your Mother, to thank for bringing Order to Equus."
Yeah, sure. I'm positively certain that's 100% factually accurate and not boot-licking at all, perish the thought.
"If it were not for her, the Night Mare would have brought Chaos and ruin to our beautiful land."
Wait, what? Is he talking about Luna?
"Mister Diurne Compendium, who is the Night Mare?"
"Ah, she was a most terrible foe that your most august Mother had to face at the beginning of her reign, a millennium ago. She wanted to bring the Eternal Night and cast down your Mother and take her rightful place as Mistress of the Heavens. No one knows where she came from, nor what made her commit such vile deeds, but our glorious Empress banished her to the Moon, a most fitting and ironic punishment, if you ask me."
By the stars, he is talking about Luna and he even said she was banished a thousand years ago! What should I do? No, wait. How the hell did Celestia use the Elements?
"How did she do that?"
"Um, it is said that she used powerful artifacts, physical embodiment of Order, that gave her the power to protect Equestria."
So she did use them! "Embodiment of Order", though? Not encouraging. If she just renamed them, it might mean she was still herself during the rise of Nightmare Moon.
"Is the nature of those artifacts known?"
He raised his eyebrows at that.
"Well, no. Legends do tell us of relics called the 'Elements of Harmony', but most scholars think they are just a legend dating back to the days of the Dream Valley who have no relation with the artifacts used by the Empress."
Oh, sure, whatever. Though, I do wonder what might have happened to make Celestia into what she is today.
Can she be redeemed? Or is it permanent?
"One more lap!"
Oh, buck you.
"Come on, maggot! I won't let your title get in the way of your training!"
I'm five! Give me a break, you psycho! I've been doing this for three hours, now! And that's not even talking about the days and weeks before that!
"And...stop!"
I drop to the ground, relieved beyond any mortal comprehension. Everything burns, it's horrible.
"On your feet! Discipline and willpower! I'll make sure you have both of these!"
Ugh. I stand, not without a inhuman -inequine?- amount of effort. Iron Rod, my trainer, doesn't even have the decency to look satisfied that I managed to stand, the plothole. Being an alicorn doesn't make me invincible you know!
"Stretch until you have your breath back and then do a light jog around the course."
Oi! There's a difference between training and foal abuse, you know! No choice, though.
*sigh*
"No complaining!"
Oh, you just can go eat the biggest bag of chickens.
At the very least, I'm sure I'll be the healthiest little pony around. That has to count for something, no?
"Stop dragging your feet!"
Not enough. Not nearly enough.
Finally, back to my bed, soft and warm and not yelling at me. I'm sore all over and I'm pretty sure my brain is about ready to explode. "I expect great things from you." I guess I should have seen it coming.
Still, what should I do? I can't just let my Mom tyranny continue, can I? Maybe I could use the Elements? Maybe that's why she's making me train so much. She's probably grooming me to use the Element of Magic when Luna returns. I'd have to find the other Elements Bearer. If they even exist in this timeline.
What would I even do if I manage to overthrow Celestia, rule? I can't rule, I'd be a terrible ruler, probably can't even use Magic. And let's not even get into the nightmare that is the Equestrian bureaucracy and governance.
I'm just some random loser from Earth, even all the training in the world won't change that.
What should I do?