//------------------------------// // She's in my house? // Story: A Reason for Living // by leeroc101 //------------------------------// "Well, here we are. Home, sweet home. My room's downstairs, but I'd like to clean up a little first. Feel free to take a look around. I'll be quick." I left her just inside the door and went down to my room. Normally, I wouldn't care too much if my room was a complete mess, but this wasn't a normal girl. In fact, I'm not even sure 'girl' is the right word here. Technically, a technicolor equine was now loitering at my front door. I pushed the thought aside and continued to pick up the heaps of dirty clothes and trash all over my room. To me, it was organized chaos. The shelves were for books and cans of soda while the floor was for clothes and trash. Of course the trash was centered around the overflowing trash can I had by the door. Anyway, I'm sure cleaning my room is just as boring to you as it is for me, so why don't I tell you how this pony ended up in my house to begin with. It was an average day. Well, I suppose they're all average days until something interesting happens. And for a long time, I had wished something interesting would happen. Orcs would invade my town, a magical artifact would be discovered. A plane would crash in my backyard. Sure, interesting stuff like that (well, like the plane crash) happens all over the world. Just, never here. To quote one of my favorite comedians, George Carlin: "I want to see some explosions and fires. I want to see shit blowin' up and bodies flyin' around. I wanna see thousands of people in the street killing policemen. I wanna see a tornado hit a church on Sundays. I wanna see people under pressure! Sometimes an announcer comes on television and says, " Six thousand people were killed in an explosion today. " You say, " Where, where? " He says, " In Pakistan. " You say, "Aww, fuck Pakistan. Too far away to be fun! " But if he says it happened in your hometown, you say, " Whooa, hot shit, Dave! C’mon! Let’s go down and look at the bodies!!" Now, I'm not a violent person, but I would love to see a nice, harmless, massive explosion just down the street. You know, evacuate the area and just blow someone's house right the hell up. Oh, but blame it on terrorists. A leaky fuel pipe or 'testing' is just too boring. And I guess you could buy them a new home first. Otherwise I'd feel bad for wishing that on someone. Anyway, as much as I wished it wasn't, it WAS an average day. I woke up and went to work. Wait. Allow me to be more specific. I woke up at 4:30pm and went to work at a supermarket. Had a pretty uneventful shift before leaving and going home at midnight. To me, my day starts when I get home, whether that's from work or school. Even if it's at midnight. Well, my day had just started and I was heading home. It was dark (Celestia, I would hope so) and a bit rainy. Kind of relaxing, really. No one else on the road, me playing a little piano music on the cd player. Someone humming in the back seat. HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE HUMMING IN THE BACK SEAT?? I hit the breaks, pulled over on the highway and immediately flung the door open and got out. "Who the hell are you?" I heard a muffled voice through the door but it was too dark to see who it came from. I reached for my door again and unlocked the doors. "You stay where you are or I will beat the shit out of you!" And with that I threw the back door open. Now, you probably think I'm going to tell you that there was a pony in my back seat or something, huh? Well, YOU'RE WRONG! Jk, jk, it's a pony. It took me a moment to see who it was, but the first thing I saw was the cutie mark. The bright rainbow and white cloud were fairly easy to spot, even if i couldn't see the rest of my intruder. "You're... you're....!" "Um... Hi. I'm... Well, I'm Rainbow Dash! And... I have no idea how I got in your...um... house...thing." I almost fell over. "Rainbow Dash. How the hell?" Yep. So, it was closing on 1am. It was dark, rainy, cold. And there was a pegasus in my car. Talking to me. Sure, I knew who she was, but I had only watched an episode or two at the time. I only knew what the internets had told me. I knew she was a cyan pegasus from Ponyville and that she was the element of Loyalty. And something about being 20% cooler. Then the questions started coming. How did she... no, she said she had no idea. How... no. "How?" She giggled a little. "I don't know. One minute, I'm in Twilight's house and the next... poof! I'm in your house! I was gonna tell you I was there, but I figured scaring you while you were controlling this thing wasn't a good idea, so I tried to make some soft noise so you'd hear me. "Right...well... why are... wait... no... ugh, I'm so... lost." "You think you're lost. I'm even sure WHAT you are, nevermind where. Why are you standing on your hind legs? And what are those things on your front hooves?" "Things on my..." I looked at my hands. "Oh! These are hands. I am a human and we humans have hands." Dash's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You're a human!?" She jumped past me out of the car and took up a battle stance. "Twilight told me about you! Humans are dangerous!" I started to laugh. Until I realized that she was right. Humans ARE dangerous. "Dash, do I look dangerous to you?" I swear I said it just like Patrick... except without hooks in my mouth. She relaxed a bit for a second. "No, I'm pretty sure I could take you." I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I... whatever. Look, yes, I am a human. And yes, Twilight was mostly right. Humans suck. We kill each other all the time. We have weapons that you've probably never thought could be possible. Weapons that can go faster than even you can. Weapons tha-" "No way! No one's faster than me." She seemed to change train of thought rather quickly. So I did too. I thought about our bullets. And about our jet fighters. And rocket ships. And lasers. "Yeah. Well, technically we're not faster than you, our machines are. But they cou-" "Wait! How do you know how fast I am?" Crap, we're already at this point, huh? I'd read a few fanfictions after those few episodes that I watched. Every single one of them had that one point where the pony finds out they're in a TV show. I wondered how Dash would take it. "Uhh, well... you said you were... I mean...you know what? Balls to it. Dash, here on earth, ponies like you and your friends don't exist. We have ponies, but they're the boring, non-talking, non-flying, non-magical kind." She looked a little confused. "So, there are only earth ponies here?" "Well, kinda. But they're not talking earth ponies. And they're considerably bigger than you are now. Anyway, do you have TV in Equestria? Television?" "Television? Is that like x-ray vision? That'd be sweet!" I laughed. "No, it's like..." Oh god, how does one explain tv? "You know those Daring Do books? Well, pretend they made it a picture book. With like... a thousand pictures in it. And pretend they made an audio version so you could hear everything that happened. You know... the crashing and the narrator and the talking and everything. Then you played that while you looked at the pictures. It's kinda like that. A million pictures flashing really fast with sounds." "Wow! That sounds really cool!" She sat down on the pavement and put one hoof up to her chin. "So you can like... sit there and watch books happen?" That. Was an odd sentence. "Watch books... happen. Well, yeah, putting aside that odd choice of words, yes. You can watch books. Anyway, what I was trying to get at was that we have a tv show about you and your friends. I haven't seen much of it, but I've seen enough to know who you are and where you're from." Now she looked really excited. She jumped back up to all fours and bounced over to me. "Really? That's so awesome! So does that mean you've seen me do a Sonic Rainboom?" Stopped for a moment. "Yeah, it wasn't in the first few episodes, but I did see a clip of it online." "On line? On line with what?" She cocked her head to the side and drew even closer to me. "On a computer. I'll explain that later. What do you say to coming home with me?" I swear she must have used her wings to assist her because she moved back REALLY quickly. "Look, you seem really cool and all, but I'm really not that kind of mare." I quickly facepalmed. "No, I just... ugh. You literally just appeared in my car, right?" "If that big thing there is a car, then yeah." She pointed to the back seat she had hopped out of. "Then you have no place to stay, right? All I'm saying is that I can give you a place to stay. For as long as you want. No strings." "No strings? Yeah, ok," she said with a hint of sarcasm. "How many bits is this gonna cost me?" "Bits?" Yes, I just remembered their system of currency. "Right, bits. No bits here. We have a different form of payment." I immediately regretted my choice of the word payment instead of currency. "Dude, I told you, I'm not that kind of mare. And if you don't take bits, then I don't have any way to pay you." "You don't have to. Look, I'll take the couch, you take my bed. At least for tonight." I looked at my watch. It was almost 1am. "There's no reason my parents would go in my room before I get up tomorrow so no one will see you." "Why does it matter if anyone sees me? You certainly seem nice enough... apart from inviting me back to your place." "Look, I'm not that kind of..." What word do they use again? Mare must be female so I think... colt? No. Stallion seems more manly. "I'm not that kind of stallion either, ok? And remember? I'm a human. Not all humans are going to be nice to you. In fact, I really should be freaking the hell out right now since a cartoon pony just popped into the back of my car, but for some reason, I'm ok with it." Maybe because it was her? I'd only seen a few episodes, but I'd seen enough to decide that she was my favorite. That was kinda why I'd seen the rainboom of her's. I'd looked for stuff about her specifically on Youtube. Which was a terrible idea since I ended up watching... you guessed it. Cupcakes. But, I figured it was best to keep that information to myself. She already thought I was creepy. "Look. You get the bed, I get the couch and you have my word that I will not ask for money... OR SEXUAL FAVORS... in return. We'll talk again after we sleep, okay? Sound good?" "Well, alright. It's not like I have anywhere else to go." She lifted herself off the ground with her wings and flew back into the car. That's probably when it started to sink in. There is a pegasus in my car. A blue flying pony from a little kids show. And she's about as real as you can get, assuming i'm not hallucinating. I got back into the driver's seat and started the car. I pulled back onto the highway and headed for home when I saw her put her front hooves up on the passenger seat. "This car thing doesn't go very fast, huh?" I smiled. "No, it doesn't. We humans weren't made to go very fast. In fact, most people who drive cars drive way slower than this. This car's old, it probably couldn't even make 90. There are some newer cars that can go up to like, 130 maybe. And then there are racing cars that go, well, much faster. To be honest, I'm no NASCAR fan so I have no idea. 200 maybe?" "I thought you said these machines were faster than me?" "Not these, no. We have other things that are faster. We have planes. Those can actually fly. Some can even break the sound barrier." That's kinda impressive. I guess. But it's still not faster than me. I can break the light spectrum." "Well, yeah we have lasers." Wait a second, do lasers break the light spectrum? Lasers go at the speed of light, right? Cuz they ARE light? I looked over at the pony next to me. It seemed pretty impossible for her to go faster than the speed of light. That kinda of speed seemed like dividing by zero to me. Then again, it seemed pretty redundant to say that since she WAS actually next to me. "Well, I think lasers might be faster than you, but I doubt you'll ever get to race one of those. "What? Come on! How come? Cuz you know I'll win?" She stood on her hind legs in the back seat with her hands... er... hooves, proudly on her... hips...I guess. "No, actually, it's because I don't have access to stuff like lasers. Only... well, only really smart humans have them." That was obviously a lie. Laser pointers, Infrared games... we have a lot of lasers, but if I had told her that, I doubt I would've gotten away with just taking her home and not driving out to Guam so she could race a laser pen. The rest of the ride home was pretty quiet. I wanted to tell her more about Earth and how dangerous it would be if anyone saw her, but I just couldn't decide where to start. Aside from that, my brain obviously was still trying to grasp the fact that there was a cartoon in my back seat. I couldn't stop looking at her. Was she really there? How could she have gotten here? It doesn't sound like she was sent here on purpose. And she obviously didn't come herself. Did she? I decided to ask. "Hey, what were you doing when you... were... well, when you left?" "Me? I was testing out one of my new tricks! I do this really awesome corkscrew up in the air, then turn around and do a barrel roll into a sonic rainboom! Problem is, I was headed for the ground really fast. I couldn't pull up in time! So I closed my eyes and braced for a crash and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in your house!" "In my car. Yeah. Sounds like a cool trick!" "Hay, yeah! Wanna see it?" "Umm, hay, no! That's what got you here, remember?" Though I made a mental note of that for if other means of... well, trans-dimentional transport failed. Fight crazy with crazy, right? I pulled into the driveway and walked Rainbow up to the front door. "Let me go in first, just to make sure my parents are asleep." She nodded and I opened the door as quietly as I could. All the lights were off and the house was quiet. I turned and motioned her inside. "Well, here we are. Home, sweet home." I whispered. "My room's downstairs, but I'd like to clean up a little first. Feel free to take a look around. I'll be quick." I left her just inside the door and went down to my room. Normally, I wouldn't care too much if my room was a complete mess, but this wasn't a normal girl. In fact, I'm not even sure 'girl' is the right word here. Technically, a technicolor equine was now loitering at my front door. I pushed the thought aside and continued to pick up the heaps of dirty clothes and trash all over my room. To me, it was organized chaos. The shelves were for books and cans of soda while the floor was for clothes and trash. Of course the trash was centered around the overflowing trash can I had by the door. Anyway, I'm sure cleaning my room is just as boring to you as it is for me, so why don't I tell you how this pony ended up in my house to begin with. Just kidding, that's where we are now, silly! A/N Soooooooo yeah, new story... This one... hopefully will go on for a while. I don't generally write really long stories mostly because no one ever thumbs or reviews them. I have a few fanfics on fanfiction and fictionpress, but I don't get anything there either. Also, You may have read my other story, A Rainbow of Hope. If not, please do. It's fairly short, a oneshot really. Mostly meant to give you a little feel. Anyway, I'd like to take this story somewhere new. As i said at the end of Rainbow of Hope, I want to write FOR someone. And I intend to take this fic a long way. Each of the mane six will come to Earth and our hero/smart ass will have to deal with housing them all as well as the others that will join later. I will write anyone YOU want into the story in some way or another. I will say, Twilight will be next along with a few Back to the Future references. So please, if you want me to write in a character (not OC's), pop me a comment and I'll get to work. This includes the CMC, Derpy, Dr Whooves, Cheerilee, Bic Mac, whoever. Also includes shipping. Shipping will be done... well, by majority. And if I can't fill your request in this story, I may just write a oneshot just for you! So it pays to contact me! You request, I fill request. Easy as that!