Celestia Does Stuff in Ponyville While Other Things Happen Elsewhere

by Billblok


Ponyville 2: A trip to the farm

Dawn approached in the span of a couple hours. With it was the start of a new day and the beginning of the morning ritual known as breakfast. Each occupant practiced said ritual in their own fashion. Celestia enjoyed a cup of tea along with whatever sweets she could get her hooves on. Usually, she was the one who began the dawn, but it seemed that her sister had taken to doing it for her… at least for this morning. So she had the pleasure of observing the sunrise rather than instigating it.

The nymphs stood up, stretching their legs and buzzing their wings before they searched around in a half-awake state for a source of love. They should have counted themselves lucky that they managed to get any sleep at all. But all the same, eventually they found their targets. Nuzzling up to the sleepy ponies, they drank in affection brought to them in lethargic endearment. Fluttershy especially laid it on thick, squeezing Lepidos tightly and nuzzling her cheek sweetly. The nymphs were not going to go hungry today; and that made Celestia smile.

The other ponies had all their own little ways of getting ready for the morning, but most of them had completed them, and were now sitting at the table with her, eating breakfast. Except for one of course… and she was only now getting up if the upstairs door being opened was a good sign.

“Good morning, Sunset,” Celestia cooed at her newest student. Sunset said nothing, silently heading downstairs to the library dinner table. The blanket that she had used on her own bed was still draped across her head, hiding much of her expression. Celestia paid no mind, simply sipping her morning tea. When Sunset sat down and pulled the blanket down over her shoulders, Celestia slid a cup of deep black coffee over to her. She took it in her magic, raising the cup to her lips and drinking fairly deeply. Then she set it down, licking her lips. This was Celestia’s cue that she was permitted to speak. “Did you sleep well, my new student?”

“Better,” Sunset replied. “You were right, I guess… I don’t want to go back to that darn warehouse.”

“That’s good to hear. I’d hate to hear that you suddenly died. You should thank Twilight for letting you stay here until further notice.”

Sunset mumbled out a word of thanks, only barely registered audibly by Twilight. “What,” Twilight remarked, “no wing-eating?”

“That’d be counterproductive.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “…Really now? It seemed fine to you at the time.”

“Because if I did do that Twilight,” Sunset returned with a glare, “you’d end up with three unicorns; rather than two and one Alicorn. I’m not stupid.”

Twilight paused, chewing on a piece of toast Spike had lovingly made for her. “Well, you’re sounding much more reasonable than before.”

“I had… zero hours of sleep over the course of three days straight. Excuse me for not being entirely there.”

Rarity spoke up, shocked. “Three days?? Darling, what could have been so important that you’d stay up for so long?!”

“Scheming, planning, making decisions on how I’d conquer the world using an army of teenagers… sounds stupid now, doesn’t it?”

“Yup,” both Rainbow Dash and Applejack responded at the same time.

“Girls! There are some things you’re not supposed to say!” Rarity scolded.

“Hey, she said it first,” Rainbow Dash defended.

“That does not mean you should repeat it!”

Twilight cut in, trying to get the conversation back in control. “Girls, can we not butt heads in front of Sunset? She knows she made a mistake.”

“Yeah, next time I’ll go straight to the local army first,” Sunset mumbled.

Several tense moments remained where she felt a thousand eyes bearing down on her. Sunset plastered a nervous grin on her face. “…Just kidding?”

“Dude, don’t even joke about that,” Spike griped. Sunset dropped her muzzle into her coffee mug in an effort not be noticed, and in the lull, Celestia carried the conversation. “So… now that we’ve all had some time to mull over all the events that happened yesterday,” Celestia asked, “How does everypony feel about Chrysalis having a larger family than we knew before?”(1)

“A little bit worrying,” Twilight replied. “Because now that we know she’s got a bigger family than just her, with a sister of all things…” She took a sip of her own coffee, trying to find the right words. “Well, there’s probably more than one colony trying to find her by now.”

“Well, we can only hope that they do a poor performance at trying to invade Equestria.”

“I hope they’re nicer than Chrysalis’ changelings... if that wasn’t just her saying threatening words that is,” Fluttershy chimed in.

“Well I do know who we can ask,” Celestia assured her, settling her gaze upon the sleepy nymphs. “Little ones, what sort of family do you have?”

Lepidos answered her question. “We have sisters, brothers, mommy and daddy and our aunt.”

“Oh? What is your aunt’s name?”

Lepidos tapped her hooves together. “Mommy told me not to talk about my family.”

“Yes dear, she also told you that she wasn’t using you for an invasion scheme.”

That loosened her tongue. “Her name is Cocoon,” she said without any further hesitation. “Mommy’s generation was named after parts of insects and what they make.”

“How thematic,” Celestia mused. “Tell me, what’s she like?”

“You mean… to me?”

“To you and to other ponies,” she clarified.

“Oh yeah, she’s really nice!” The young changeling beamed. “She takes ponies out from the forest she lives in, and she wraps them up in her silk and feeds them and gives them hugs so they’ll love her and when her changelings are fed she gets someone to guide them on their way!”

“Silk?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “Why is that so strange?”

“Well, I’ve only ever experienced changeling… for the lack of a better word, goop first hoof.” Celestia pondered over what Lepidos had said. “How do you know she’s not lying though?”

Lepidos’ head dropped low. “B-but I’ve seen her do it,” she whimpered.

Celestia flinched, immediately apologetic. “Oh no no no, I’m so sorry, Lepidos! I really shouldn’t be driving your family apart! Please, forget I said anything, okay?” Lepidos nodded in a sad manner. “Look sweetheart, I’m sure that most changelings are decent folk, considering that you are among them; but I’m just struggling an awful lot to shake the distrust.”

Sunset’s embarrassment was temporarily overridden by her interest in the princess bringing soft assurances to the little nymph. “I suppose I’ve been missing several things since I left,” She mumbled.

Twilight sighed, finishing off her toast. “You have no idea. Ever since I got these friends of mine, There has consistently been at least one major threat every month, be that someone Celestia locked away for a thousand years and promptly forgot about—”

“I may have a problem,” Celestia noted to nopony but herself in particular.

“—or some big disaster in the lines of weather or out of control plant life. We’ve had to take care of all those ourselves, because Celestia’s extremely bad luck continuously leaves her preoccupied.”

“Nightmare moon banished me to the moon, Discord locked me in my private chambers, and his nasty little thousand year old trick trapped me in thorny vines for the better part of a day…”

“So, it really isn’t saying too much to say that she needs some sort of vacation from the royal duties and general kidnappings.”

Sunset took another gulp of her coffee. “That’s nice, I suppose. So what’s she going to do in the meantime?”

Celestia shrugged. “Oh, I suppose I’m going to have Twilight make a list of some things average everyday ponies do, and I’ll just follow along.”

Twilight’s eyes started sparkling. “…Really? You mean it??”

Celestia smiled at the familiar enthusiasm of her fellow princess. “Of course! I’ve always gone by the rule of the list.”

Twilight leapt up in the air in excitement. “YES!!”

“Hold on now Twilight, I have to make sure Sunset gets to school today,” Celestia gently reminded her with a hoof on her shoulder. “Then I will absolutely be able to go wherever you want me to.”

Twilight sheepishly fluttered down to the floor again. “Right, of course… that’s kinda important, isn’t it?”

Celestia chuckled. “It certainly is. My dear student Sunset, smart as she certainly can be, never obtained any proper diploma before her absence. Plus I think an education on foreign culture and innovation would do her a world of good.”

"Yeah, now I'm not so eager to go back," Sunset grumbled.

"Don't you worry, Sunset!" Celestia pulled her close with a wing. "I'm sure now that your major pursuit is no longer power but friendship, everypony will see the new Sunset, and just clamor around you to be a new friend! Your school career will become a wonderful experience!"

Sunset finished her coffee, placing it down and talking back at her in a sort of manner that screamed sarcastic."Yeah, riveting."

"At any rate, I do believe you have at least an hour or so before you have to go. Plenty of time to have a proper meal, I'm sure."

Sunset nodded. "Yup, just one more hour before I find out what sort of grand retribution I'm going to receive from the girls that I tried to paralyze from the neck down." She tapped her hoof on the table a couple times before she finally turned her head towards the resident cook. "Hey dragon?"

"It's Spike," Spike replied.

"Yeah, okay. Think you can get me some grub?"

"Oh I don't know, what's the magic word?"

An exhasperated sigh left her mouth. "Spike, please don't make this anymore difficult."

"I did hear a please, so that'll do." Spike plodded back to the kitchen, picking up a frying pan, and twirling it gracefully before setting it back down on the burner. "How do you like your eggs, Sunset?"

"Ground into a pulp and slowly burnt 'till they're charcoal," She muttered.

Celestia gently scolded her student. "Don't be so dramatic, Sunset. Spike, just scramble them for her would you?"

"You got it!" Spike drew a claw along each shell, perfectly cutting both of them in half and letting the contents fall into the pan before tossing the shells into a nearby trashcan.

Celestia nudged Sunset's side. "What do you say?"

"Thank you, dragon."

"It's Spike," Spike called out again.

Sunset sighed. An hour to school, and she was having trouble maintaining a grump, especially with the pleasant smell of cooking eggs filling the library house.

---

When Celestia stepped out of the library, she took a deep breath of the Ponyville fresh air. "Ahh, I can't say I'll ever get enough of the smells of a small town."

"It's nice, isn't it?" Rarity replied. "Ponyville always had its own flair that I've never managed to perfectly capture in any art medium, really."

"So, is everything all done then?" Twilight asked.

Celestia nodded. "All accounted for! I made sure Sunset was on her way a few moments ago, got her a sack lunch, gave her a hug goodbye and waved at the gawking people on the other side before I came back. Very intriguing anatomy they all have in that world. A bipedal people without hooves… who would have thought?"

"Great! I've got a list of what we can do around Ponyville just for helping out on your vacation!"

“Really? That quickly?” Twilight nodded excitedly. “Very well, what is the first item on the list?”

Spike picked up a large roll of parchment, unrolling it with little care for where the other end went. “The first item on the list,” Spike stated, “Is ‘help Applejack and her family out on the farm’.”

“Oh yes…” Celestia held her hoof to her mouth in a dainty giggle. “I remember reading about that time when Applejack bit off a little more than she could chew. Is she doing better now?”

“As far as I know… yes. Anyway, I suppose we’d better get going if you want to try this out, right?”

Celestia nodded. “Lead the way, Twilight! And as for anypony who’s not applejack or our little nymphs…” She smiled at Twilight’s other friends. “It’s always nice to meet you again, and I hope to continue to enjoy your company at a later time.”

The group headed out on the road, leaving behind Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to head back to their own homes. As she walked along, she hummed a cheery tune. Everything was seeming to go alright for her, despite all the problems beforehand. She’d just have to find out how all the ponies treat her in her new compact pony princess form. One thing was for sure, she wasn’t going to get away with being entirely unnoticeable; because there weren’t exactly very many small pink maned, white alicorns with a sun cutie-mark.

Celestia set that thought aside, turning her mind to another one. When she, her fellow princess, Applejack and the nymphs arrived at the farm, a whole lot would be new to them; especially if she thought about it, the way of life the cattle and sheep lived. So for their sake, Celestia let her tune come to an end, and she struck up a conversation with the farm-pony.

“So, Applejack… What’s life on Sweet Apple Acres like?”

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “Y’all visited our home, right? Ah thought you knew already.”

“Oh, I certainly do! Tell me anyway. Especially about your tenants, if you would?” When Applejack still failed to get what she was talking about, Celestia— as discreetly as possible— pointed a wing in the direction of the nymphs. Applejack’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh right! Yeah we treat the sheep and cattle well ‘round here at sweet apple acres. And why wouldn’t we? They exchange milk and wool at a pittance; we give them food and livin’ space! ”

Lepidos turned an ear to this new information, but was somewhat skeptical. “…Are you sure you aren’t just keeping them as slaves?”

“What makes ya think that?”

“Can they leave?”

“Sure they can! The milk and wool pays plenty for them anyway.”

“I don’t believe you,” Lepidos stubbornly replied.

Applejack simply shrugged. “That’s alright; Ah didn’t expect you to take the word of the element of honesty seriously.”

“I know you’re not lying!” Lepidos protested. “You’re not lying, you’re just mistaken!”

“Alright, we’ll just find out together who’s right.” Refusing to discuss the issue further, Applejack turned away with a chuckle and continued down the path, leaving a confused and embarrassed Lepidos behind, wondering how she was shown up by a pony. Celestia couldn’t help but reach out with a wing to endearingly rub her back. The antics of children always provided her with great entertainment in the long years of rulership.

The road took a turn outside the village proper, and onto a gently sloping hill that complemented the color of the sky very beautifully. If she squinted, she could see the bright red of apples on the trees further along. They were almost there, it seemed. Applejack turned to Celestia, curiosity on her face. “Well Princess, we’re almost here. You know, my granny says that she met y’all personally when she and her parents left to settle in ponyville. Any truth to that?”

“Oh yes, she was a sweet looking filly. Did you know her father kissed my hoof? Quite scandalous for the time, kissing another pony’s hoof; your great grandmother was furious.”

Applejack laughed. “Oh really now? She never told me that. Makes a gal wonder what else she never told me…”

Suddenly, from over the other side of the hill, the voice of an old mare called out indignantly. “Y’all better not pry, because if there’s anything I didn’t tell you, you’d better believe there’s a good reason I never did!” Before long, the source of the voice hobbled up to the top of that hill, and back down to meet the gathering. Were it that the old mare was twenty years younger, it may have taken her less time. Nevertheless Celestia was nothing, if not patient. Applejack greeted her grandmother with a wave, but Granny smith was having none of it. She frowned, one eyebrow raised up in an accusatory manner. “And where have you been, hmmm? Trottin’ around all of Equestria, never telling yer granny nuthin’!”

“Sorry granny… It’s just, why would ah ever want to wake ya up at any hour like five in the mornin’ when there’s nothin’ to do??”

Granny Smith scowled, sticking out her lower jaw in irritation. “Well the least y’all could have done was leave a note! What was so important that you had ta leave so early on anyway?”

“Well…” All eyes fell upon Celestia, so she automatically put on her princess-y smile. One may be surprised to hear such a thing, but it so happens that she tends to set her princess-y smile on her face not specifically when she wants to set up an air of serenity and calm in the face of a tense situation— though that’s part of it certainly—, nor that she wants to present herself as a guide to her little ponies—although that is also part of it. No, Princess Celestia puts on the princess-y smile whenever she’s nervous. This is somewhat ironic when the very face of Equestria who faces crowds on a day to day basis gets nervous over a little bit of attention. Still, the smile seems to do a great amount of good for the ponies involved.

Granny Smith turned her attention to where everypony else was looking. A few moments of looking at the pony in question, and a smile crossed her features. “Well, I see we’ve got royal company on our humble farm!”

Celestia nodded. “Hello again. It’s been quite a while since I set eyes on you. How have you been?”

“Never mind me, what about you??” Granny smith turned a critical eye at Celestia’s small, cute pink form. “The last time I saw y’all, you were much more fit than that!”

Applejack momentarily paled. “Granny, why would y’all say something like that?”

“Don’t give me that lip young’un,” Granny smith snapped back, “ah wasn’t talking ta y’all, ah was talking to her!” While Applejack panicked at the social faux pas that her dear grandmother had committed, Celestia took a look at her figure. Was she really that unhealthy? Sure she didn’t spend a lot of energy during her daily trip from her private chambers to the courtroom and back, but at least she can still get up and move around, right? Then again, she still ate what many ponies would call an unhealthy amount of cake, so there was that problem.

“I suppose a diet couldn’t hurt,” she mused to herself. Unfortunately, this is exactly the opposite of what she should have said, because Granny smith stared at her completely dumbfounded, then grabbed her by her mane with a hoof, dragging her to the farm house proper. “Ouch— Hey, what’re you doing??”

“A diet?? To lose weight?! Ah hope y’all were joking, because that just ain’t funny!”

“I assure you, I wasn’t—” Celestia protested, but that made the surprisingly strong mare only tug her along harder.

“Yer as skinny as an apple sapling, is what you are! Ah’ve seen y’all on the newspapers! How in the hay do them scrawny legs manage ta carry anything, much less yer own underweight frame?? Let me tell ya; back in my day, a princess had child bearin’ hips, and an insatiable appetite! ‘Specially for cakes!”

“That was a bad time for me,” Celestia muttered, dragging her legs to no avail. “And I am not going back to that.”

“No way no how! Ah swore ah was gonna pay ya back for letting me settle down here; and if stuffin’ you up is the way to do it, then by golly, I will!!”

Celestia was not remotely as enthusiastic as Granny smith about the whole prospect of being stuffed. She fussed and fought, but it was fruitless. One desperate turn to Twilight and Applejack, she only managed to cry out “Help me!” before the door to the farm house slammed shut, sealing her fate.

Applejack for her part took several deep breaths, leaning against Twilight for support. She wiped her brow, standing up on her own with shaky legs. “What’s wrong with you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, nuthin’ much,” She replied. “Ah love my granny, but someday she’s gonna be the death of me.” She straightened her hat, looking at the farmhouse. “Ah was worried th’ princess was gonna chew her out somethin’ fierce over the comments on her weight, or maybe make her swear ta silence ‘bout it on pain of death.  But well… perhaps ah misjudged Princess Celestia’s character.”

“I thought it’d be a problem to have Celestia stuffed,” Twilight mused.

“Hmm? Oh no, I’m not worried about Princess Celestia, she’ll be fine. She might feel heavy for a while, but Granny Smith’s right; She does need some meat on them bones.”

---

Celestia leaned up against a tree, nursing her poor aching stomach. “I think I ate too much apple pie,” she moaned to a sympathetic princess Twilight Sparkle. Sure, she may have indulged herself on a great amount of cakes on a regular basis, but whole meals took into account a whole different level of pain. Celestia silently cursed her extremely efficient metabolism for making her suffer like this. Then again, with just how much she ate— she estimated enough for four or five ponies— she probably wouldn’t have to eat anything else for a while… Maybe not even for the rest of the day.

Soon enough, she came to the decision to quit moping around and rejoin her gracious host, who had just completed her rounds of escorting the sheep from the east field to the west field. (2) The nymphs were fascinated by the thickness of their fur— Or Wool, as Applejack had corrected, and were currently peppering them with questions. Lepidos was the major perpetrator.

“How quick does your wool grow?” She asked one sheep in particular, one of the many questions that she had asked her already.

“Two or three months,” the sheep replied.

“When does Applejack shave you?”

“She shaves us whenever we feel like we want it.”

“And when’s that?”

The sheep rolled her eyes, replying, “Usually two or three months after the last time.”

“Do they make you do anything else?”

By now, the sheep was getting frustrated. “Baah child, they don’t make me do anything! I don’t work for free around here!”

“Oh… What else do you do around the farm?”

The poor sheep bleated in exasperation. Celestia giggled at the sheep’s expense. “Quite the curious little thing, that Lepidos,” she commented.

Applejack nodded, similarly amused by Lepidos’ endless curiosity. “If y’all weren’t stuck there for the last five minutes, you’d have Known that Dolly there didn’t get a lick of a break ever since she saw her.”

“Really? She knows she can walk away, right?”

“Well ah don’t think there’s anythin’ stopping her from followin’ her, is the problem. Well, ‘cept the obvious.” Applejack raised her hoof to her mouth, whistling sharply. “Hey Lepidos! Why don’t y’all lay off of poor Dolly, huh?”

Lepidos stared at her perch— Dolly, who was evidently annoyed— and looked at Applejack. “Lay off?”

“Yeah, stop bothering her!”

“Oh…” Lepidos looked at dolly once again. “Am I bothering you?” At the sheep’s forced smile and nod, Lepidos frowned, shrugged and simply hopped off; looking around for someone else to potentially get all her questions from. Applejack chuckled softly, shaking her head. She was surely going to have to break it up between another sheep and the nymph, but she probably bought herself a few minutes. In the meantime, she looked out the fields of apple trees, much of the fruit in need of a harvest.

“Princess?” Applejack asked, not even bothering to turn to Celestia.

“Yes?”

“How good are y’all at applebuckin’?”

Celestia looked at the same apple orchard, contemplating the very same apples that had to be harvested before summer’s end. “Honestly Applejack, I have no idea.” Her mouth pulled into a grin. “Why don’t we find out?”

---

“Show me again,” Celestia requested, wiping the dirt off of her body with a wing. The action was swift and efficient, only a testament to just how many times she had eaten dirt during her attempts to master the art of “applebucking”.

Applejack, showing true patience on the whole matter started over her very well practiced speech. “Alright... Again, an earth pony’s magic is not limited to strength. Some earth ponies have an affinity to rocks, sand and metals; others have an easier time with animals, and in my case, plants and trees.

“Trees don’t have all the soft bodies like other plants do; so it’s harder to talk with ‘em with just a little touch. Y’all are gonna need to knock ‘em like you would on a door, ‘cept a little harder.” Applejack placed her rear in front of the next tree over which she would use to demonstrate once again. “The best way ta knock a fruit tree of any sorts is with yer hind legs, the hardest amount of force from an earth pony, and the easiest way ta put yer magic into it. So y’all gotta balance on yer front legs real quick-like…” Carefully, Applejack leaned forward, lifting her hind legs into the air with slow motion to make sure her trainee saw every single way she balanced and shifted her weight for the perfect kick. “And throw the energy behind yer kick inta the tree, pushin’ yer magic inta the tree to loosen the stems of the apples.”

A swift thrust of her legs, and a crack resounded into the air. The sweet fruit within the tree snapped loose by their stems, falling precisely into the buckets below. While impressive at first, Celestia was simultaneously at a complete loss and utterly irritated by how easy it was for her to command where the apples landed… or make them come off at all. “…This is all so silly,” she complained, “How on earth are you getting the apples into the buckets?”

“Timing the sway of the tree just right,” she replied.

Celestia scratched her head with her foreleg. “I’m sure… Oh well, I suppose I just have to try again.”

“Yup. Anyway if y’all can’t do it, I’ve gotta get back to finishing the applebuckin’. Y’all can keep practicin’ on the next tree ‘till I find somethin’ else for you to do.”

Celestia nodded, lining herself up to the tree the same way Applejack demonstrated. This was at least the thirteenth time she tried this whole thing, so she expected some sort of improvement on her technique. Then again it is said that it takes ten thousand hours to master a skill, even one like Applebucking. Nevertheless, she made her valiant effort to do exactly what Applejack did, balancing on her forelegs and lifting her hind legs. Then she pulled her hind legs back like a tightly compressed spring, releasing the energy into a full-force kick.

Alas, the kick in question never completely hit its mark. Her hoof struck the bark of the apple tree, grazing the side of it and completely denying her the support she so desperately needed to put her legs back down gracefully; thus making her fall squarely on her face in the dirt. To her credit however, she did not actually miss the tree completely this time, and the magic she poured into her kick flowed at least a little bit into it, allowing one apple to fall and impale itself on her horn.

The whole event was so comical; Applejack couldn’t help but fall over in laughter. Celestia wasn’t particularly upset either, because she had actually succeeded for once in loosening an apple from the tree. Accomplishment met, she removed the fruit from her horn and took a hearty bite out of it. She had decided while enjoying the sweet juice and tender pulp of her apple that Applebucking was probably not something she should do herself. There were others far more capable… and laughing at her at the moment. “It might be better to simply carry the buckets,” she mused.

---

“So… You are going to plant a few seeds?”

Applejack snorted in amusement. “A few, y’all say? Shoot, there ain’t just a few seeds ta plant, yer highness! If’n we’re gonna get any sort of profit with all this land, we’re gonna have ta get a whole orchard!”

Celestia nodded in intrigue and understanding. “I see… But I must ask, you have received a few loans from the royal treasury for repairs to your property—”

“Which we paid back as soon as possible, mind,” Applejack countered.

“Yes, you did. But if you’ve always had to get some stimulus from me or just the banks in general, how’s setting up a whole other orchard which has to be maintained a good idea?”

Smugly, Applejack replied. “Well princess, when we all found out that a pony like you needs a little break now and then, ah figured that a pony like me needs some help out on the farm sometimes as well. With them workin’ for a little more than they did before, we’re gettin’ a huge return from our extra efficiency!” She pointed over to a small herd of cattle contentedly carrying carts of dug-up earth.

Celestia smirked. “Oh really? I thought that was a lesson you already learned a long time ago; something about trying to harvest the entire property by yourself?”

At this, Applejack’s coat temporarily turned crimson. “R-right, let’s just move on with that. Now that the land’s been upturned and all the grass cleared, we’ve gotta plow the field.”

“I see. Doesn’t Big Macintosh do that normally?”

“Eyyup, and he’s working on another part of the field, plowin’ that up. And since I really can’t do any plowin’ myself,” Applejack gestured to Celestia, “That just leaves y’all ta do the job yerself.”

Celestia eyed the yoke and plow with interest. There was nothing particularly interesting with the tool set, as they weren’t carefully carved with any intricate patterns or designs, nor did the plow blade itself have a gilded edge to it either. But nonetheless, it was a very… very long time since she last used a plow, and she was surprisingly enough eager to try it again. “Alright, hook me up; let’s see what I’m made of!”

And hook herself up she did. The yoke was somewhat rough against her pristine coat, and perhaps a little large for her current frame and size, but for all intents and purposes it still fit pretty well. Applejack carried the plow head over to the appropriate starting location where that too was tied to the yoke that Celestia was wearing. Finally, she let the blade down into the dirt proper after digging an initial hole into the dirt. “Okey-dokey… y’all ready?”

“Ready!” Celestia replied, eager grin on her face.

“Alright, let’s see them years of experience put into that plowin’!”

Celestia tugged. Normally, that is the sort of locomotion one would require to pull a plow across a field, so the fact that she was tugging was hardly anything surprising. What was surprising— at least to her, was that despite all her tugging the plow in question wasn’t actually going anywhere.

“Applejack,” she heaved. “Why… isn’t this working?”

Applejack shrugged. “Ah dunno, poor traction, Ah suppose? Ah know that plow always had a dull blade really.”

“Right,” Celestia grunted. “While informative… That’s really not… Ungh… solving my problem.”

“Shoot, Ah don’t know what ta tell ya, princess; Big Macintosh jus’ pulls the thing along, an’ he don’t have any trouble neither.”

“To be fair, Big Macintosh is bigger, if I’m to understand it right,” She argued between tugs.

“Well don’t y’all tend ta be a mite bigger than that most of the time?”

“I’m trying to be more approachable.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “There’s somethin’ ta be said ‘bout cursin’ the darkness and lightin’ a candle.”

Celestia strained again. “Pretty sure—HNNN— size is not the issue at play here. I believe that… that the problem… is force.”

“Well ah know how that can be fixed…”

“NO!” Celestia yelled in a manner uncharacteristic of her. “I’m not giving in; little Tia’s going to plow. This. Field!!” Celestia wildly scuffled all her hooves, kicking up dirt in a final, desperate attempt to move the plow forward and at the very least finish the first row of the field. And to be fair, she was managing to move. However there was a small problem in direction.

Over the course of twelve seconds, a large hole was dug into the ground, and a large pile of dirt was built up next to it. Celestia struggled up six feet of soil and out of the hole, weakly lifting the plow behind her. Applejack almost immediately burst out in laughter.

Celestia spat out dirt from her mouth. “Perhaps I’m a little bit out of my ideal work-environment.”

“No, no!” Applejack laughed. “Please, k-keep going! Ah haven’t had such a riot since Big Mac tried his hooves at cookin’!”

Celestia sighed, shaking the dirt out of her mane. “Actually, I think I am done for now. I could do the job better with my bare hooves anyway.”

Applejack continued laughing even as she headed back to the farmhouse. “Wait, don’t y’all want ta try washin’ the pigs first??”

“I’d like to see you make me, my little pony!”

---

Far above, a small, ill-often comingling group watched on a nearby hill as Celestia tried and failed to properly wash one of the fifteen or twenty pigs Applejack had out on the farm. Her once pretty pink mane had become thoroughly soaked with mud. She had the pig by the ear, firmly scolding it despite how fruitless the effort would seem to be.

“Poor thing,” Lepidos spoke softly upon her perch.

“Who, the princess? Or the pig?” Dolly asked.

Lepidos dropped her head into Dolly’s wool. “I dunno… both maybe? The princess is relieved that she’s not doing something so dull as whatever jobs a ruler does, but frus… upset that everything she’s doing here just doesn’t work. The pig doesn’t know any better, so he’s just scared.”

The sheep looked up at her. “You’re ve-ery analytical.”

“Changeling,” Lepidos shrugged. “So… um, how much does wool sell for?”

“No idea; probably about twenty bits a pound,” Daisy Jo, one of the gathered cows answered. “But really dear, don’t you think that you’ve given poor dolly enough questions?”

“But this is important,” Lepidos protested. “If I don’t get answers, how are we going to ever get more friends for our cult?”

Daisy Jo visibly winced. “… A… a cult, dear?” The innocence in Lepidos’ mind was evident as she nodded. “I don’t think that means what you think it does.”

“It’s not a mean cult! It’s a cult of harmony! The cult of harmony!”

“Well, if it’s not mean, then it’d be a society, wouldn’t it?”

It’s a cult. Cults gather around unpopular beliefs. Harmony’s forbidden in the changeling kingdom, it’s a cult.”

Daisy Jo backed away, slowly. “…Oh. I’m terribly sorry. I had no idea how badly you all had it.”

Lepidos sniffled, wiping her eyes. “S’okay. You do now.” Then she turned with a pleading look. “Would you like to know about our cult?”

Daisy Jo smiled softly. “Well dear, I think I would love—”

“PLEASE DO!” A voice shouted from further behind the croud.

The group of sheep, cattle and changeling nymphs shot their necks at the perceived source of the outburst. “What was that?!” a bull shouted.

“Me, me, it was me!” the voice insistently called out. The figure in question pushed itself forward through the crowd, eagerly making its way towards Lepidos. “Please, I want to hear about your cult!” Judging by the looks upon the farm dwellers, the… sheep in question was not exactly one they had ever met before, much less knew. He trotted forward excitedly, glimmer in his eyes as he pushed around the others with little regard for personal space. Were it simply his enthusiasm to hear the little nymph’s tale, it would have been strange enough, but there was another way he stood out. Every sheep on the farm was a white-wool sheep. This one on the other hand was black. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Big grin plastered upon his face, he begged the little nymph. “Would you please tell me about your cult? I’ve always wanted something like this— I’m just too old for it now— or at least so I thought—”

“Um… who’re you?” Lepidos asked somewhat nervously?

The black sheep’s eyes glistened, cloudy and pale blue they might have been. “Come on, don’t you know me?”

Lepidos stared. The changelings stared. The cattle and sheep stared, scrutinizing the intruder upon their little herd gathering. Suddenly, everything clicked for Lepidos as she realized one thing.

This black sheep was not a sheep at all; and there was only one person who would do such a bad job at acting.

…Uncle Thorax?!