Knock knock. Spike glanced up from his laptop at his door. He pulled off his headphones and heard Shining Armor call to him. “Hey, midget number three, you in there?”
Spike responded, “Yes, midget number one. What’s up?”
“Can I come in?” Spike closed his laptop.
“Yeah, sure.”
The door opened. His stepbrother entered, his red polo shirt and khakis standing out sharply against the white-yellow walls of Spike’s room.
“Hey,” Shining raised a hand in greeting.
“Something wrong?”
Shining Armor rolled his eyes, “Why do you always assume I’m only here when something’s wrong? Anyways, mom wanted me to give you ‘the talk.’”
“Oh God,” Spike groaned. “It was bad enough hearing it from dad, I don’t need it coming from my brother.”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t want to do this either, but mom said I do this or she writes me out of her will. I’m sure she’s joking, but I don’t really want to take my chances.”
“Can we just not talk and say we did?”
“Mom would figure out.” Shining fiddled with his keys in his right pocket, shifting through his car and house keys with impressive silence. “I’m sure you don’t need the whole birds and the bees thing. But if there’s anything else—.”
Spike shook his head and reopened his laptop. Shining glanced around his stepbrother’s room. When he lived in this house with Twilight, this was his room. Ever since he graduated the police academy, he found his own apartment and moved in with his high school/college sweetheart Cadence. The mahogany desk stood next to the window overlooking the backyard, and the bed was parallel to the wall opposite of the door. Lego figures mounted on the shelves beside textbooks, comic books, and a few novels. Things hadn’t changed much since Spike moved into Shining's old room, except a framed photograph on his desk. A younger Spike from fifth grade grinned next to his friends; three girls his age. Shining didn’t know their names, but he was sure that at least two of them were little sisters of two of Twilight’s friends.
“So,” Shining said as he looked at the photograph, “you still see those three around?”
Spike looked up and followed Shining's glance to the picture, “Oh yeah, all the time." A smile formed on his face, "Sweetie Belle’s in choir so sometimes I play piano for them.”
“Which one’s she?”
“The one with purple hair, green eyes, and a skirt,” Spike said as he pointed to the girl in the photo, “I help out Applebloom on the apple farm sometimes. She’s the one with the bow. The other one’s Scootaloo. I keep her from killing herself.”
“Killing herself?” Shining exclaimed with wide eyes.
“No, it's not like that,” Spike hastily replied, “I mean I keep her from hurting herself doing some crazy scooter trick. That’s all.”
“Oh, good,” Shining chuckled, “For a second there, I thought, you know.”
“Trust me, if she was in that trouble, I’d be freaking out. We all would.”
“You’re all still friends?”
“Yeah,” Spike grabbed his phone, charging on a stand by his bed and flipped through his pictures, “Hold on, I’ve got a better picture of them in here somewhere."
Shining shifted his arms, patiently.
"One time, some jerk kept hitting on Sweetie, tried some nasty stuff and nobody would stop him. And the dumbass wouldn't take no for an answer. So I punched him in the face. Guess who got the detention in that one,” Spike said with a frown.
Shining sighed, “Yeah, schools do that sometimes. Sorry man.”
“Whatever,” Spike shrugged, “he never went near Sweetie again. That’s all that matters.”
“I’ll bet they’re glad to have a guy like you looking out for them,” Shining smiled.
Spike put down his phone and glanced at Shining Armor, “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, you know. You look out for them. Somebody bothered one of them and you stood up for her.”
Spike regarded Shining in silence for a moment, and shrugged, “Yeah, that’s the only thing I’m good for.”
“What? No way,” Shining said. “They needed you and you stood up for them. Do you know how many girls would kill for a guy who’d do that?”
“I guess not,” Spike leaned into his backrest. “Pretty sure most girls would take one look at me and run to the next guy. I’m not ripped, or rich, or whatever.”
“Spike, if you think that’s what girls want in a man, you’re wrong,” Shining pulled out a chair from Spike’s desk and turned it around to face his stepbrother.
Spike’s eyes narrowed with intrigue. He rose up, scooted to the edge of the bed, and faced Shining Armor.
“So,” Spike folded his arms across his chest and tried to sound disinterested, “what do girls want in a man?”
Shining tapped his knee. He cleared his throat.
“To understand that, you need to first understand what makes us different from them.” Shining raised a hand to stop Spike from asking another question, “Just let me speak, I’ll tell you. Alright, so uh,” he tried to swallow his discomfort, “Dad’s probably told you what happens to guys sometimes, when we like a girl.”
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Spike was inches from throwing up.
“No, no, just listen. Maybe I should start again. The thing with men is that we get turned on by sight, ” Shining explained.
“When we see pretty women in a bikini or something, we can,” he shrugged, letting Spike pick up on his meaning, “that’s how we decide the girl, or guy, we want, and why the internet’s full of naked people.”
“I don’t watch porn,” Spike replied with a scowl.
“I’m not saying you did,” Shining said quickly, “I’m proud you don’t. So many guys and girls alike can get addicted to that crap. And the problem is it can really affect how you think of women and intimacy. See, it can tell you that girls only like you if you’re sexy, or have a big dick, or whatever. And it can make you think that women get turned on the same way we do, which really isn’t true. You see, a man can get aroused when they see a naked woman, but a woman doesn’t get the same arousal from seeing a naked man. Most women don’t check out a guy’s butt because that’s not what matters to them. When a woman looks for a life partner, she’ll choose the short, responsible guy with a job over the buff jock who just dicks around.”
Shining Armor was pleased to see Spike nod. With any luck, he wasn’t just tuning out Shining’s lecture.
“Now, I can’t speak for all women, but most women I’ve ever known aren’t looking for the guy with rock-hard muscles. That’s because women care about what’s inside a man that they want to be their husband.
“I once asked Cadence why she married me instead of some billionaire, and you know what she said?”
Spike shrugged, “She doesn’t know any billionaires?”
Shining sighed and let Spike have his little laugh.
“That could be true, but she said that she knew I would look after her every day, that I would always ask her opinion on any big decisions, and listen when she had a problem. While other guys were going around doing small internships over the summer, I went overseas with the navy. She thought, well, she usually thinks I’m more mature than other guys my age.”
“Twilight would laugh if she heard that,” Spike snorted. “She thinks you’re a big adorkable muffin.”
“That’s because I’m gentle with my little sister,” Shining said, “and that’s another thing: Cadence knew that I could be patient with kids, which worked well with her teaching career, and that I could be a gentle dad.”
Shining gave a small smirk, “Also didn’t hurt that she thinks I’m handsome,” he chuckled and continued. “The bottom line is that Cadence knew I would always support her, and that I wouldn’t go around acting like a child. And believe me, I try to.
“If a man plays video games or watches TV every day, then he’s not a man; he’s a boy. That kind of boy has no self-control, he does whatever he wants without thinking about others, and only wants to be physically intimate with a woman. And let me tell you, nothing could be a bigger turn-off for a woman. They’re looking for the guy who’s responsible, who can take care of them financially and emotionally. For them, sex is only great when they can emotionally trust their partner.”
Shining paused a moment to let his words sink in. From Spike’s expression, Shining guessed he had paid close attention and absorbed every word with intrigue.
“Now, I’m just a man, granted one that’s been married almost six years now, so I can’t say exactly what all women want. Honestly,” Shining shook his head and gave a small, short laugh, “I doubt men can ever fully comprehend the mystery that is women.”
“Shining?” Spike interrupted his stepbrother before he continued. “You make it sound like I have to be the perfect man for girls to like me.”
Shining Armor shook his head, “No one is perfect, bud. Even Cadence and I drive each other crazy sometimes. But I do my best to be there for her, no matter what.”
Spike folded his hands in front of his face, and rested his chin on his knuckles.
“Is something wrong?” Shining asked.
“No, well yeah,” Spike dropped his hands into his lap. “Everything you just said, I’m not sure I could be that.”
“Oh for Godsake,” Shining’s exclamation startled Spike. His big brother looked like he wanted to facepalm or shake Spike. “You need to stop this I’m never good enough shtick, okay? I don’t know how you can look at yourself and not get that you’re amazing.”
“But,” Spike stammered, “I’m not—.”
“You’re smart, loyal, brave, funny, sensitive, and kind,” Shining said, “and anyone can see it. Didn’t you just tell me that you got in trouble protecting Spoony Bull from some jerk?”
“You mean Sweetie Belle,” Spike corrected his brother.
“The point is you protected her when nobody else would,” Shining grinned. “I would be surprised if she didn’t appreciate you for that. And she knows you’re more than some muscle headed jock cause she’s hung out with you. You play freaking piano for her. And remind me, how did you learn to play the piano?”
Spike rolled his eyes, “I found some instruction books and taught myself.”
“Exactly,” Shining beamed, “do you know how many men can actually muster the will to just sit in front of a piano or learn how to do anything new on their own? That’s amazing. Any girl who knew you taught yourself would be impressed. It shows you’re smart and persistent.”
“I guess,” Spike shrugged.
“And you’re basically a straight A student, right?”
“That’s more because of Twilight and her family,” Spike replied, “but yeah, I can be. But I’ve never seen girls get with the nerds over the jocks.”
“Again, media lies,” Shining said. “Just think about it. Why do those three girls always hang out with you? Why have they and Twilight’s friends let you tag along in their all-girl friendship circle? It’s because they trust and admire you. Sure, Twilight introduced you to them a long while back, but they decided to be your friends after all these years because you’re,” Shining wracked his brain for the perfect word.
“I’m what?” Spike asked with eagerness.
“You’re,” Shining said at last, “you. Patient, open-minded, thoughtful. They know you’ll always be open-minded to whatever they want to do. You help that one girl with her sewing all the time. And I couldn’t begin to list the number of ways you’ve helped Twilight.
Shining put hand on his brother’s shoulder and smiled, “I’ll bet they would all agree that you’d always be there if they needed you. They’d agree that you’d make a great boyfriend or husband for any lucky girl.” He gave Spike’s shoulder a playful jab and grinned, “Plus, you’re a nice looking dude.”
“I thought you said that being attractive isn’t what women want from men?”
“Well, it might not be their first concern, but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt,” Shining shrugged.
Shining’s phone buzzed in his back pocket. He withdrew it and looked at his recent text.
“Oh boy,” he said, “well, duty calls.”
“Police stuff?”
“No,” Shining smiled as he rose, “Cadence needs help with the kid.”
Shining rose from the chair and stretched his hands over his head. He nodded to Spike and made his way to the door.
“Hey Shining?” He turned around to look at Spike. The boy nodded, “Thanks. I think I understand girls a little more.”
“Hey, any time,” Shining grinned, “Glad I could help.”
“I’m really glad you’re my brother,” Spike smiled.
Shining stared at Spike with an unfathomable expression. The green-haired boy worried that he offended his older brother, until a smile spread across Shining’s face and his eyes watered with happy tears. He rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.
“I’m glad you’re my brother too, Spike,” he said. “Look after Twily, okay?”
“You know I will,” Spike replied.
Shining walked out the door into the hallway, down the stairs to the living room. His mother sat on a cushioned chair reading a book with a cover page obscured from Shining’s vision, when she heard Shining descend the stairs and glanced at her son.
“Hey,” he said, “I’ve got to get back to Cadence. Spike and I had a good talk.”
After hugging his mother, he headed out the door. His mother asked him to come back for a minute. She placed a bookmark in her page.
“I’m glad to hear it. I’m going to ask Spike what the two of you talked about later,” she smiled, “I can’t wait to hear what he learned.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll have plenty to talk about.”
“You know he really looks up to you,” she said, “he’ll take anything you say to heart.”
A wistful, proud smile formed on Shining’s face.
“Yeah, I know.”
The End