A Civil Discussion

by Graglithan The Greater


Amongst Civilized Beings

To say the current situation I found myself in was strained, would be akin to grossly understating how horrific it would be to watch the mutilation of someone you knew well. Anyone who had the misfortune of looking at either of us would likely have felt some form of malice radiating away from our table. It would probably shock them as well, to know that I was the one who invited her here. Since the day my brother and I both arrived, She and her kind had been adorable to look at, but socially cold to the touch. Sure there were the few outliers, like Mr. Cake, Lyra, and even Rarity, who at least treated the two of us with respect, if not Pie grade affection.

I think Pinkie was just happy she had a cupcake eating competitor that wasn’t over the top like her last one, even if we always lost to her.

But that’s not what’s important right now.

Right now, I was sitting at the table in the home that I had worked tooth and nail to afford, and build, just within the town limits. Just across from me, was a lavender princess, who continuously eyed me with suspicion.

Our staring contest didn’t last long, before I grew tired of it. “Would you like something to eat?”

“I’m fine at the moment.” The slightest hint of a disgusted sneer danced at the edge of her lips. Sighing through my nose, I walked to the kitchen and prepared the meal I had made. Two plates, same food. When I got back to the table, I placed one near her, and took the other for myself. “I said I-”

“I heard you loud and clear your highness. I decided to prepare a plate for you as well should you get hungry.” Twirling a fork into the pasta, I looked over my glasses at her. “And I assure you, there is no meat. Fettuccine Alfredo, with celery and basil. Bread and Cheese, with a little greenery.”

She was still glaring at me, but moved the plate closer to her. The fact that she even thought I’d be so careless as to not appropriate the meal to cater to my guests in any fashion was insulting. “Why did you call me here?”

“To have a civil discussion.” Taking a small bite of pasta, I savored the taste for a second. “Something you, as I recall, claimed that we could never do in any capacity.”

Recoiling ever so slightly, I was delighted at the sight of her eyes widening just as much. “When did you hear that?”

“You have a very projecting voice, your highness. Especially when your temper flares. It was hard not to hear you.” Taking a sip of water, I took a moment to breathe. “But that is not the point. Like I stated, this is a civil discussion.”

Her eyes returned to the glare from earlier. “Then what is it we are needing to discuss? A discussion would imply something is wrong.”

“No your highness, it wouldn’t. A discussion would imply that we can both calmly go over a topic of interest. On that same note however, there is most definitely something wrong.” Setting my glass down, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table. “For one, why is it that you deemed it necessary to use excessive force in detaining my brother?”

The princess’s lips twitched slightly. “Your brother was in an altercation with a local and was deemed a threat to safety.”

I was prepared for that statement. It was the ‘official’ one that had been sent to the Royal Sisters. I had to give the Princess credit where it was due, for that was an excellently crafted partial truth. I doubt it would have fooled either sister had this mare not done so much for their country.

What I had though, was details.

“A verbal altercation. One, I might add, that was started by your ‘local’, who was the one and only Prince Blueblood.” Taking another small bite, I continued. “From what locals who would actually talk to me said, my brother had been defending one of your friends from his royal disposition.”

Another truth that this mare was denying, even after Rarity told me how she felt about the situation.

“Disrespecting the royal family, regardless of distance, borders on treason. Your brother’s treatment in that regard was light.”

There she went again, justifying her actions. It became clear to me that the current flow of conversation was less productive than talking to an actual brick wall. At least the mortar and masonry had stories to tell if you examined it thoroughly for how it aged.

Speaking of aging. “How much do you know about human biology?”

The princess blinked a bit, clearly thrown off by the sudden topic change. “Why would that matter?”

“A great deal, actually. I’m surprised that you haven’t tried to learn this earlier, knowing your studious nature.” I got up and walked over to a small cabinet, pulling out a notepad and pen. “Don’t worry about doing the math from the information provided, I did it already.”

Setting the notepad down on the table, I started going through its contents.

“Now, from comparing Equestrian clocks to my watch, I came to the conclusion that our day/night cycles have matching durations. Comparing the Equestrian calendar to one from our home, I can see that Equestria’s one hundred day year and our own 365.25 days, the decimals are due to the movement of our planet around the sun by the way, results in an approximate ratio of 0.273785.

The reason for the importance of this is quite simple really, as the Equestrian age of adulthood is 65 years, your time, it by conversion, lands to be approximately the same legal age of adulthood in our world, eighteen years of age.” Flipping the notebook shut, I slid it over to her. “Would you like to know why that is relevant?”

Taking the notebook, I could see the doubt in its legitimacy, but I couldn’t care. She could run the numbers all she liked, I know I landed on the right answers. “Yes, I would.”

The chill that entered my voice was akin to a wendigo. Both kinds. “Because in earth years, my brother is only fourteen.” I could see the realization striking through her brain, but I couldn’t stop myself anymore. The rage that had been building under my skin was boiling up past the breaking point. “That means, your highness, that you not only did you use excessive force on one of the only two beings of a comparably fragile species on this planet; excessive force, that placed him in a hospital, completely ill equipped to treat his injuries, barely clinging to life, but did all of that to a minor, possibly reducing his expectant lifespan drastically in the process should he not recover properly.”

“And that is nothing to say of the mental damage you have likely caused. Damage that I will be fighting tooth and nail to undo, and seek justice for.” I stood up and glared down on the pony sitting across from me. She was shivering in place, looking ready to retch. “Know this. The only reason I haven’t ripped your throat out for what you did, is because I hold respect for authority, even when it is clearly misplaced. No, what I’m going to do, is use every ounce of your own legal system to bring tartarus, and hell itself, down upon you. This I swear on my soul.”

I took a breath, trying to calm myself. It may have been short, but it still took a lot out of me. “And one last thing.” I walked to the counter, grabbing a small tupperware container, and placing the untouched meal in it. “I am sorry for causing you any illness. You can drop your disguise.”

A flash of magic later, and the blue and green changeling across from me was vomiting black tar into the flowerpot nearby. I felt a little annoyed that my orange tree was being murdered in front of me, but it seemed small compared to what just happened to cause it. “H-How could a P-Princess.... I thought Twilight was-”

“Kind? Generous? Loyal? Or how about Honest? Or Comedic? Or a Friend?” I sighed and placed a hand on the changeling’s back. They flinched at the touch, but I didn’t take it too hard. I mean, I did lay down a rather harsh verbal beating that wasn’t even for them. “I know. I thought she was too when my brother and I first arrived here. The pasta was an apology to you, for having to endure my... anger. If the real princess was here, I wouldn’t have bothered making her one.” A small smile crossed my face. “The recipe has a lot of sentimental value to me, so hopefully it works for you as well.”

The changeling looked at the plate again, before staring at me in surprise. “R-really?”

I gave them a quick nod, before my smile faded. “The notebook however is for the princess, and has everything I just told you written down and then some. If she decides to destroy it, don’t worry, I have many copies just like it spread around town courtesy of Pinkie.”

This was pretty much one of the only times she’s ever let anyone other than her friends use her secret stashes for personal reasons. To be quite honest, seeing Pinkie as upset as she was towards Twilight scared me for many more reasons, but two in particular. One, it might actually start a rift that would end their friendship for who knows how long, permanently damaging it to never be what it was before, and two, that would pretty much destroy this entire country’s first and only line of defence.

Maybe when this is all said and done I could talk to Celestia about military tactics or something? I don’t know much, but some information would help, right?

I gave my head a quick shake, before turning to the changeling and handing them the notebook and pasta. “Can I trust you to deliver it to her? Seeing as she rejected my invitation by sending you in her place?”

The changeling got back up, albeit shakily, and gave a weary stare at the items for a minute. Taking a small breath, they looked up and nodded. “Yes.”

A tired smile was all I could give in return. “Thank you.”

They stood back up, putting on the guise they had entered my home in, before walking to the door. We shared a single glance between us before they took off back to the castle in the distance.

Feeling the rage start to rise again, I moved back to the table, sitting alone with a plate of pasta, and letting the empty chair take the place of family. “Don’t worry John. I’ll make her pay. I might not be able to do half of what you can, but I’ll do it the way I know how. I swear on my soul, little bro.”

For both our sakes, I hope that when the time comes, I can remain as civil as this night started, when facing the genuine article in a courtroom.