//------------------------------// // Part 1: Chapter 12 // Story: Broken then Healed 2 // by Tohshi //------------------------------// Chapter 12 I crawled up onto Annabelle’s bed so that we could better talk.  It wasn’t as if she was using the whole thing.  Pony beds seemed designed to hold more than one pony no matter who was in it.  That or maybe they were all princess sized.  My musings though only lasted a moment when Annabelle tried to push herself over to where I was to little avail.  Instead getting a face full of blankets as she collapsed from her efforts.  I picked her up and gave her a hug. “Why are you so small here?” asked Annabelle.  “Like your my size.  That is funny.” “Well this body is about as old as you are.  Which is as confusing to me as it is to you,” I said.  “But it is still me on the inside for the most part.” Annabelle gave me a look over. Eventually her gaze came back up to my own and rested there for what seemed like forever.  Her eyes were still the same ones that I remembered but as they were bigger they had detail in them that had been difficult to see before.  The flecks of gold in her brown eyes were the biggest difference.  Her eyes were absolutely laced with it and they had a glow to them that hadn’t been present back on earth. “Why are you a girl now?” asked Annabelle. I snorted.  I had not been expecting that question but in retrospect I should have expected it.  I paused for a moment trying to think of how I wanted to answer that question.  There was the detailed and accurate explanation but then there was the answer I felt like I wanted to give.  Being honest about it seemed to be the right choice. “Because my outsides finally match my insides.  It was magic that changed me but for the better,” I said. “Oh okay,” said Annabelle.  There was no sense of confusion on her face or in her eyes and for a moment there was nothing but happiness coming from those eyes.   Then pain flared up on her face.  “Can you go get the princess pony to make my arm and leg not hurt again?” “Be right back,” I said. I stepped out of the room to look for Princess Luna.  Princess Luna and Doctor Vibes had stepped out to let us talk together.  Thankfully they were talking out in the hall.  Their conversation was clearly about me and part of me was slightly annoyed by it.  But the princess was just asking questions on how to better deal with my nightmares.  How to better stop them from happening. “Princess Luna, the pain in her missing limbs is back,”  I said.  “Can you fix that again, please?” “Of course,” Princess Luna said.  “Banishing phantoms are sort of my specialty in magic.” Princess Luna and I reentered Annabelle’s room.  Annabelle was trying to hold back tears of pain and it showed in her huddled form.  Her horn started to glow.  Quick with her own magic, Princess Luna’s spell washed over Annabelle and quickly her pain seemed to dissipate.  The magic she had been channeling through her horn though didn’t stop and seemed to be growing. Annabelle started to breath heavily and was clearly panicking. Her eyes were focused on her horn at the top of her vision.  Tears ran down her cheek and the glow on her horn continued to grow.  She said, “How do I get it to stop?  I can feel it pulling more and more out of me.” “Yank back on the flow, pulling the mana back into you or let it go and let the magic spill from you,” Princess Luna said. Annabelle’s eyes closed and for a moment the glow stopped growing.  However the growth started again and this time it seemed quicker and more out of control.  Annabelle’s breathing became even more ragged.  Annabelle said, “It won’t stop.  I can’t get it to stop.  I don’t know how to let go of it.” “Breath a deep breath,” I commanded in a steady voice.  I had climbed up onto the bed next to her.  I touched her horn to mine and I could feel the burn of her magic eating at my horn.  I pulled at her magic with my own pulling it into me.  It was a strange feeling have such uncontrolled magic running through my system.  “Did you feel that bit that just left you?” “Yes.  I think I understand,” said Annabelle. Her magic surged into me.  Far far more than I had thought possible and it burned away at my insides.  It reminded me of being cleansed by the princesses.  The pain was well beyond my capabilities to handle and I faintly could tell I was screaming.  Then there was a soothing coldness that came over me and the pain started to fade. “Never do such a thing again till you can properly receive another’s mana,” said Princess Luna.  Her voice almost seemed to come from in my head and not from outside it. My vision had whited out and slowly colors were returning to it.  Princess Luna was holding me up with her magic while tucking in the sleeping form of Annabelle.  I broke Princess Luna’s weak grip on me with my own magic and hopped off the bed.  I felt so energized.  It was weird how giddy I was with mana. “Come let us not disturb her sleep,” Princess Luna said.  “Besides I have something to teach you.  You need to know how to do what you just did safely.  Until Annabelle learns control it would be best for those around her to know how to siphon off her magic safely.  Any outburst by her could be disastrous.” “How much magic does she have?” I asked.  “Twilight said I was at 8 killolites.  But she seemed to have much more than that in just that outburst.” “Human souls seem to have a greater affinity for mana than a pony’s and as an Alicorn her power is even more so amplified.  She has in the hundreds of Kilolites.  To the point where an exact number is hard to guess.,” Princess Luna said.  “Which further puts importance on her magical education.  I think it will be important to have you be a part of that.  You have the most relevant experience of any of us when it comes to her situation.” “Certainly Twilight could do a better job than I,” I said. “In some ways yes.  But you can explain to her what it is like to pull on something thing you once did not have.  Only you can really know what that is like and that will help Annabelle in ways that neither I nor Twilight can explain.” “I am currently grounded from magic lessons,” I said.  “I want to help but I also don’t want to disobey Bon Bon.” “Then we shall have a talk with your guardian first.” Doctor Vibes was waiting outside of the room for us still.  He bowed to Princess Luna when he noticed us coming out of the room.  His bow was long and awkward which seemed to me to be the sign of someone who wasn’t used to being in the presence of the two solar diarchs. “Doctor Pleasant Vibes, as you are already informed of the situation I would like to have you be available for weekly sessions with Annabelle on top of your current ones with Lilac,” Princess Luna said.  “The crown will pay for your transportation between Canterlot and Ponyville so that we do not deprive your other clients of their good doctor.  Is this acceptable to you?” “Of course, Princess,” said Doctor Vibes.  “It would be my honor to help the crown in this way and I wouldn’t feel right if I weren’t doing my best to help both of these little fillies.” “I am pleased,” said Princess Luna.  “Please tell my shenishar about what you require for an office so that we can provide optimal place for your work.” “I will,” said Doctor Vibes. “Then you are dismissed,” said Princess Luna.  “I hope you have a pleasant evening here in Canterlot.” “Thank you, Princess,” said Doctor Vibes. Doctor Vibes headed down the hallway towards the entrance while Princess Luna and I headed the opposite direction.  Princess Luna was a much slower walker than I had expected her to be if just because she was so tall.  She lead the way and I assumed that she knew where she was headed even though I was fairly certain it was the wrong way.  So I didn’t say anything when Princess Luna walked us down a hallway I had never been down.  She paused nearly half way down what seemed to be a dead end and turned to face the wall. A huge painting dominated the wall here.  It must have been nearly three meters long and nearly as tall.  There were many ponies depicted in the painting.  Each had a happy face plastered on them but there was still something sad to the picture which was brought on by the blues of the painting.  In the center was a glowing orb and to my surprise a small wispy trail of silver light left the ponies’ eyes and flowed into the sphere.  At first I thought I was seeing something but it repeated itself a few moments later.  Slowly the ponies started to lose their happiness and the painting slowly faded to black in all but the small orb near the center.   In that orb two dark green eyes appeared. They seemed to be staring at Princess Luna. “I made this a week after my return.  It was all I could do for that week.  Time had not passed as it did for others while I was on the moon.  It was all but one moment of anger and hatred.  But the Elements saved me from that pain.  The ponies this painting normally depicts died the day I turned into Nightmare Moon.  I stole their souls to fuel my dark magics.  The magic I want to teach you has dark uses but it can also save lives as well.  Dark things happen to those who don’t deal with their demons and you have demons like which I have never seen from one of my ponies since my return.  Celestia has done so well for this world in my absence.  Peace has reigned for nearly the entire time I was gone.  Those nightmare demons that escaped your dreamscape last night feed on the darkness of a pony's mind.  They grow powerful off of those emotions.  If left unchecked that can transform you into a nightmare.  I will be there to make sure that doesn’t happen but you shall live for a long time.  Possibly longer than I and as such you must come to terms with your demons.  But do not feel rushed nor judged.  I fell to my demons and I shall do my best to see that fate avoid you,” Princess Luna said. “I’m sorry,” I said.  Light tears ran down my checks.  A small part of it was guilt but no it was the pain this painting represented to her that made me cry.  “I promise to work on this but also I will be there for you in anyway I can if you have need for me.  Discord reminded me that there are only a handful of people that will live as long as me now.  I don’t want eternity to be as lonely as it must have been for you.” “I thank you for your concern,” Princess Luna said.  “I look forward to having a much larger pool of ponies who will be there for so much longer.  That loneliness is something that I can only imagine as I have always had my sister.  How long must have been those thousand years have been?  I don’t know how my sister has stayed so strong for so long.” I nodded my head.  I didn’t have any better answers than Princess Luna had for this.  In fact all I had were questions.  But now felt like a bad time to talk of them.  I didn’t want to dredge up old painful memories of hers. “To take another's magic from them is an art that has long been out of practice.  My sister and I are the only two now living able to do it.  I suspect that Twilight has figured out how to by herself but I doubt that she has ever tried.  While it is a very useful skill to prevent accidents from happening to young ponies who have yet to gain control over their magic the uses of this magic are far too often nefarious.  I have seen your darkness and I feel like I can trust you with this magic.  Will you promise to never harm another with this, unless not doing so would cause greater harm?” “I promise.  I don’t ever want to hurt anypony.” “I hope that you never have to.  This magic in its extreme can be used to steal the very life from another even their soul.  I shall explain the basics of it to you but before we put it to practical use we shall check in with your guardian.  You are not to tell another soul of this magics.  Not even Twilight.  If she has not figured it out already I don’t wish for her to know of how deep my past crimes are.  She is too naive for that and I seek to protect her innocence as long as possible.  Do you promise to keep this a secret?  Even from your guardians?” “I promise.  If it will help keep Annabelle safe then I will learn anything and take on any burden.” “I admire your courage.  Just try to not let it blind you.” Princess Luna paused for a moment looking back at the painting which had long since returned to its unaltered state.  She watched it go through another cycle before she turned back to me.  I could see the sorrow in her eyes.  There was a depth to it that was unlike any I had seen before.  The guardian of the night and vanquisher of nightmares was plagued by a past that would frighten any who heard it let alone remembered it.  I could tell it weighed heavily on her.  This sadness though only shown for a moment before her eyes returned to their more mysterious natural state. “Mana and by extension magic rests most fully in the soul of a pony, or any living creature.  Even plants hold on to mana though they do so more passively than any living creature.  Some have much more powerful reserves such as eachother.  This mana is much larger or voluminous than most creatures can call upon.  There is a resistance to our bodies that makes channeling mana inefficient for all but the most skilled.  You are special in this.  Sombra’s Soul Binding has reduced this resistance in you to almost nothing.  You are nearly completely sustained by your magic now.  You could choose to not eat and it would have little ill effect on you though I would advise against such actions.  Even if you don’t need to eat your body still thinks it does and the pain of such a course of action shall be much the same nonetheless,” said Princess Luna. “Under normal circumstances the mana that flows from the soul to the horn of a unicorn is an uninterrupted flow.  You can however redirect that flow if you know how to.  If you are very skilled in this task you can pull from their wellsprings without their use of magic.  Pull enough from them and the soul becomes unanchored from its host. Souls in some ways are like giant balls of mana and can be converted to such uses by a skilled mage who has learned the dark arts.  However as it is now I wish only to teach you to redirect mana from one's horn to yourself in a way that will not harm you.  Foreign mana clashes with your own so you must subdue it before letting it into yourself.  To do this you must pass it through a spell matrix.  I can not show you one for it has to be one of your own design.  Don’t worry though it is a fairly simple thing to make.  But it will require some trial and error.  Which will not be the most pleasant of things.  I’m sorry for that,” Princess Luna said. “It is fine.  How will I know I did it right?”  I asked.  “Is it just something that will click?” “Oh it will be very obvious if it is working.  The mana will stop causing pain as you steal it from another,” Princess Luna said. “Why does it hurt when you take it into you?  Others mana doesn’t hurt when they cast spells on me,” I asked. “Intent matters.  Something freely given is rightly there and as such has no ill will attached to it.  Mana can be a fickle thing and to steal another’s mana is in a way steal from their soul.  No matter how one fights that the instinct of self preservation makes their magic hostile to the thief,” said Luna.  “At this point the best I can do is to show you it but first we must ask permission.” Princess Luna headed back down the hallway from whence we came.  She was much quicker this time and I had to jog to keep up with her.  It wasn’t a bad thing though.  I was excited while also nervous.  Part of me wanted to run from this.  I knew that if I mastered what Princess Luna wanted me to that I would be able to take it further.   This was the first magic that I had ever learned that was so easily applicable to hurting others.  But it was more a fear of not being good enough then ever intentionally hurting someone else.  That thought was almost unthinkable. We made it to the Black Suite in less time than I had thought it would have taken.  Princess Luna paused at the door and knocked.  I felt it was sort of silly.  It was her castle, why should she wait outside of a room.  Not seeing the point in waiting for Bon Bon or Lyra to open the door, I opened it and walked in.  Bon Bon was sitting on the couch reading the book from earlier in the day. She smiled when I came into the room.  Princess Luna’s appearance however sparked a bit of a different emotion.  Her eyes though were still plastered on me and screamed ‘what did you do?’   awkwardly Bon Bon removed herself from the couch. “Your highness,” said Bon Bon.  She had a slight bow to her head as she spoke.  “What has Lilac done this time?” Laughter was Princess Luna’s only response.  In a moment when her laughter had subsided, Princess Luna said, “She tried to help a friend.  Which in of itself is admirable but she did so not knowing what she was doing and I seek to remedy that problem.  We are here to acquire permission for me to teach and train Lilac in a specific spell that will allow her to help Annabelle with her magical outbursts in a safe way.” “Can’t you just let them run their course?” asked Bon Bon.  “I don’t know much about magic but I do know that all the books say to just let it run its course and just try to contain any damages.  Why does Lilac need to deal with that?” “Lilac, as I am sure you are aware, won’t stand by and watch another in pain.  No matter how much any action might hurt her.  On top of that.  Annabelle has access to magic far beyond what any filly her age should have.  Where an outburst from Lilac would likely destroy a room and all its inhabitants, Annabelle could destroy a sizable chunk of the Castle.  I want to teach Lilac a way to stop them at their inception and prevent it from becoming such dangerous affairs,”  Princess Luna said.  “We both know that Lilac will be glued to Annabelle for as long as you allow her.  I just want to give her the ability to help without hurting herself.” Bon Bon seemed defeated.  She just slunk back onto the couch and sat there her face nearly blank.  Tears slowly ran their course down her cheeks.  I climbed up next to her and gave her a hug.  She returned it and squeezed me to the point it almost hurt. “What am I supposed to say?”  Bon Bon said.  Her voice was cracked and somber.  “I don’t know.  I can’t let her not have the skills to help someone because she will do it without them and we all know how that turns out.  But on the same level she goes overboard.  Lilac isn’t an adult.   She may think similarly to one but she doesn’t know her limits.  She forgets to eat if I don’t remind her on some days.  On bad weeks she can’t sleep alone.  This week alone she has ‘almost died’ four or five times.  How am I supposed to protect her?  How do I fix this?” “I’m sorry,” I said.  “I’m sorry.” Princess Luna sat down on the other end of the couch.  I was surprised that she could fit.  A pain had covered her face and she clearly was in deep thought.  She didn’t seem ready to speak so I went back to trying to comfort Bon Bon. “I’m sorry I’m such a hassle,” I said.  “I don’t mean to be.  I know I don’t think things through very well.  It is just hard for me to remember that I can’t just do what I think is right.  That I might be wrong about that.” “Honey you don’t have anything to apologize for,” Bon Bon said.  Her tears had yet to stop.  “You are who you are and I don’t think there is a thing we can do to change that.  I just need to know how to help you not hurt yourself.  How to get you to the point where you can bounce back from mistakes.  You are so much like Twilight in that light.  I just need to find a way to get you to that point.” “Twilight isn’t a model to emulate.  She hasn’t learned the lessons that you wish to teach Lilac,” said Princess Luna.  “The only difference is that she doesn’t have the talent to push her limits like Lilac does.  She is much better than when we first met but that was years of progress.  Lilac hasn’t had that time yet.  But also Lilac has access to a far greater percentage of her magic at once.  I can not match Lilac in this manner.  The most I could draw from myself in one spell is around seventy percent I would say.  Twilight is more skilled at this than I and she can pull nearly eighty percent.  Lilac can pull nearly all of her magic at once.  It is part of Sombra’s spell.  There isn’t much that can be done about this but watch her and be there when she tries magic.  It isn’t the most pleasant of things but if necessary disrupt her magic so that she doesn’t push herself too far.” “But we can’t be there all the time,” Bon Bon said.  “How are we supposed to trust that she will be fine by herself?” “We can only do just that.  We can train her as much as possible and we can only hope that she learns enough,” said Princess Luna.  “Besides I think she has learned from her past mistakes at least in small ways.  We may not be happy with what she learns but she is making progress.  The stunt she pulled today not only possibly saved Annabelle’s life but had she tried to do so a month ago it would have killed her.  My ponies always forget how much I watch them grow.  I visit her every night when she dreams.  I can tell you that there has been progress.  It may be small but any progress is good.” “I wish I could be as certain as you,” said Bon Bon.  Her hug had lessened but only just so.  “You aren’t there when she hurts herself.  You don’t get to spend hours waiting hoping that she will wake up again this time.” “You are right.  I have not had to be there for that,” said Princess Luna.  “Celestia has been bugging me to take on a more personal project and as I can’t see anyone else being able to take care of Annabelle other than myself, Celestia and maybe Twilight, I know I will be spending much more time around Lilac.  I can see the use in becoming a teacher.  If you and the rest of her guardians would be interested I am willing to take on Lilac as a full student of mine.  It has been almost twelve hundred years since I last did so but there are secrets of magic that nopony else can teach her.  But also I know what it is like to fight demons like she does.” “I would be fine with that but you have to be the one to tell Twilight,”said Bon Bon.  “Well and the three, no four, of us should all have a talk about this.  I can’t make this decision on my own.  But for the time being you can teach her this thing you wanted to teach her.” “Thank you,” I said.  “I promise to not go overboard on this one.” “That promise isn't worth much right now as you have broken that several times this week,” said Bon Bon.  “No I want you to promise to listen to what the princess says and further still try to learn from her example.” “I promise,” I said. "Okay," Bon Bon said. "You can go learn what Princess Luna has to teach then. Try to not wear yourself out too much I want us to go visit Lyra's parents tonight for diner. Oh and honey, have fun."