"Good morning campers!" A young redheaded man greeted the group of kids that stood in front of him, gaining a "fuck off" from one of them in the crowd. Ignoring the voice, David continued "today we are going to learn the concept of-" he struck a pose that was meant to be dramatic and cool, but to Max it just looked stupid "-invention!"
At this, the boy beside Max, Neil, looked up, eyes wide. "Follow me, kids!" David, AKA, the bane of Max's fucking life cried out, before skipping off, with the group trailing behind. Neil looked like he just might explode from excitement. "This is it!" He said, hopping from foot to foot as he walked beside Max's other friend, Nikki. "This is the day I've been waiting for!"
"Don't be so naive" Max grunted, glancing at his tall friend. "Best case scenario? We're all forced into child labor and made to make shoes" he paused for a moment, deep in thought "or calculators. It's a toss up." Not even Max's words could dampen the nerd however, who simply snorted, then took off, leaving Max and Nikki in the dust.
Inside the main cabin, scraps of rusted metal lay scattered on the table."Are you ready to get creative?" David gushed. "That depends. Are you ready to get a tetanus shot?" Max asked, eyeing the rusted metal warily. "Yes!" Neil cried, rushing forwards, and running his hand lovingly over the supplies. "I'm home" he whispered.
"Nerd" Nerf said loudly, but Neil ignored him, instead sitting down and fiddling with the metal. "Yay! Arts and crafts!" Nikki cheered, sliding in beside him. Max followed slowly after them, glaring at David all the while as he slid in to the other side of Neil as other campers reluctantly followed him.
Ten Minutes Later . .
David bounded around the room, with Gwen plodding along behind him, examining each work carefully, and giving positive comments about all of them. "Wow, Nerf" he praised enthusiastically, eyeing the bullies invention. "It's great! What is it?" Nerf glared up at him. "Don't you know what a knife is, you retard?"
Smile dropping a tiny bit, David's eyes darted around nervously. "I uh- I- Oh look at Neil's!" He said, rushing over to the table where the three misfits sat alone. Despite being very popular at the camp, Max made it clear that this was their table, and the only people allowed sit on it where those three, lest they face a pissed off boy who has shown more than once to have no qualms about killing.
Sitting in front of Neil was a small electrical orb. Max, who was spending his time memorizing any and all trail routes leading in and out of this shit infested hell hole, stared at the sphere. "Where did you get electricity?" He asked, before squinting at it once more. "Actually, fuck that, where did you get glass in this shape?"
Neil smirked. "I have my ways" he said, tapping the edge of his nose. "He stole Gwen's crystal ball" Nikki informed Max cheerfully, as she glued more metal together to make . . . whatever the hell she was making. "You did what?!" Gwen screamed, marching up to a frozen Neil, and grabbing him by the collar. "Tell me you didn't. Tell me for the love of your own life, that you didn't!"
"He did" Nikki said, enjoying the drama immensely. It reminded her how wolves fought over the dead carcass of a deer. "Come on Gwen! Turn that frown upside down!" David chirped, trying to diffuse the situation. "Fuck off!" she yelled back, shaking Neil as she did so.
Startled, Neil dropped the ball, which fell to the floor with a crack. Everyone watched with bated breath for it to break, but nothing happened. "Oh thank christ" Gwen muttered, bending down to pick it up. As she was lifting it, however, she accidentally tapped it against the table. Instantly the glass broke and shattered.
"Oh, you've gotta be shiting me" she muttered, only for her eyes to widen as the electricity- if that was what it was- rose up and circled around her,David,Max,Neil and Nikki. Before the other campers eyes, the five rose into the air, and glowed for a few seconds, before vanishing with a bright light.
Nikki woke up under a tree next to a forest. "That . ." She processed everything that had happened for a few seconds, before her face split into a huge grin "- was Awesome!" She leaped up, ready to go find the others, only to face plant the ground. Hard.
Surprised, she lifted her arms, ready to pull herself up, when she noticed. She had fur. And it was the color of pink. Is this it? She wondered. Am I in purgatory, getting equal parts heaven and hell? She examined her arms for a second. Wait a minute . . .
Nikki's pink eyes widened in realization. These are hooves! I'm a horse! In a most un- Nikki way, she carefully used her limbs to stand on all fours. She straightened up and took a step . . . only to fall flat on her face once more. The next time, however, she was able to walk, albeit very wobbly.Nikki spotted a river nearby and trotted towards it. Glancing into it, she couldn't help but let out a small squee of excitement.
Her fur was the same color as her skin tone, and though it should be worrying that she was missing her clothes, Nikki had more than once gone buck naked, so she could be more in tune with the animals. Her hair color was the same, but for some reason she had a tattoo of a wolves paw on either sides of her hips, both the color of her mane.
"Oh . . . hello there, little filly. Are you lost? Or was I . . . interrupting something?" Nikki turned around to see a graceful yellow pony with a pink mane, and a butterfly tattoo. Wait were those . . "Are those wings?" Nikki blurted, pointing at the appendages.
The yellow pegasus blushed lightly. "Well . . . I . . Yes, yes they are. Where are your parents, little filly?" Nikki turned her eyes away from the wings to answer with "my names Nikki! And my parents sent me here for the summer! What's your name?"
"Fluttershy" the words were soft, but Nikki could hear them well enough. "But where's your camp exactly?" Fluttershy asked, tilting her head. "I don't know!" She shrugged cheerfully, but Fluttershy frowned. "Oh my. You better come with me."
The first thing Neil woke to was a purple, furry face inches from his. "AAAAAH!" He screamed, throwing himself backwards in time to see a purple . . pony? As if that wasn't weird enough, it had wings and a horn. "Hello there" it said, cocking it's head to the side.
"AH! YOU CAN TALK!" Neil screamed, jabbing a hand at her, only to feel his eyes widen when he saw that he now had hooves for appendages. "AH!" He screamed, turning around to see a full body mirror. Standing in front of it was the strange winged unicorn and a tall, gangly unicorn, with a science beaker tattoo, a curly mane and tail and . . completely naked.
"Are you . . . . done?" The creature asked, purple eyes darting between Neil and the exit. Neil wasn't paying attention. Instead he was throwing his memory as far back as he could, searching for any answers. When he remembered the energy released from the ball, he gasped. The energy from the ball must of have teleported them into another dimension!
Alright, Neil, act casual. "I am so sorry, my name is Neil, what's yours?" The purple creature, now identified as a mare, raised an eyebrow. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, co ruler of Equestria, our home. You want to explain how you don't know me, or why you were screaming at me a few seconds ago?"
Neil cleared his throat awkwardly. "It's a long story" he said.
Gwen had died and gone to heaven. She didn't know why she wasn't in hell, but she wasn't complaining. She woke up surrounded in white fluffy clouds. She sighed, before stretching luxuriously and flapping her . . wings? Whipping her head around, Gwen saw that she was covered in brown fur, and sprouting out of her ribs were a pair of feathery wings.
I was wrong. I'm in hell she thought, as she folded, and unfolded them repeatedly, before noticing her Twilight tattoo had been replaced by a book with a heart cover on it. Panicking, Gwen galloped around the room frantically, before potting a mirror. She shoved it inches from her face and groaned. "Of fucking course" she muttered.
Even though her hair eye and body color was the same, she now was a pony? With wings? Most people would panic and start to freak out, instead Gwen just trotted over to a magazine near a cloud couch and started reading it.
"Uh, what are you doing in my house?" A voice from behind her spoke up. Calmly, Gwen turned her head to look at the other winged pony standing in the cloud. . house? Gwen gave her a once over. Seemed decent enough but first . . .
"Are you gay?" She asked, tilting her head slightly to stare at the other pony, who blushed furiously, before snapping "no!" Gwen lifted her front hooves in a calming gesture. "Hey, I'm not here to judge" she assured the one she was now referring to as The Lesbian. Capital T and L.
The Lesbian's face was almost completely red. "I'm not gay!" She shouted, stomping a hoof. "Why would you even think that?!" Gwen turned her attention back to the magazine. "Honestly? The hair. What kind of straight person dies their hair rainbow?"
"Okay one" Rainbow Dash blustered, still blushing uncontrollably. "My mane is naturally this color. And two" she crossed the room in the time it took Gwen to blink, pinning the dark pegasus down. Kinky, Gwen thought, grinning. "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" She paused for a moment. "And what's a person?"
"My name is Prostitute" Gwen said sarcastically, only to see the confused look on Rainbow's face. "What, they don't have prostitutes here? Man, the boy population are really missing out. I don't know how I got into your house, and people are literal satan. Never trust them."
"What do you mean you don' know how you got into my house?" Rainbow Dash started to put pressure on Gwen's throat, and it was actually starting to hurt. Gwen felt a snarl form on her face. She was a counselor for Camp Campbell. She faced down people tougher and hardier than this lesbian for breakfast. And she was not going to take any more of this.
Acting fast, Gwen swept Rainbow Dash's hooves out from under her, kicked her in the stomach, sending her flying backwards, flapped her new wings until she was airborne, and bicycle kicked the pegasus into the cloud floor.
Gwen landed beside the unconscious pegasus, before spitting on her body and trotting out the door. "Bitch" she muttered as she left.
David woke up in the middle of a bakery, to see a pink thing standing over him. Looking up, he saw a pink pony smiling down at him. He pulled himself backwards, eyeing the blurry thing warily. "Max?" He called suspiciously. "Did you put something in my espresso again?"
The pink thing appeared inches away from him. "Hi! My names Pinkie Pie! But you can call me Pink, The Pink, Miss Pie, or, the Bestest Friend you will ever have!" She punctuated this fast paced greeting by throwing her hooves around David and pulling him into a hug. Pinkie Pie? Like from the TV show?
"My names David--" Pinkie gasped at this new information, and nodded eagerly for him to go on. "I don't suppose you have a mirror?" Pinkie dragged the pegasus to a mirror decorated with candy. David looked at himself, and felt a grin begin to split his face.
His hair and body color were the same, but now he was a pegasus, with a guitar cutie mark with a heart behind it. Spinning around, David beamed at the pink pony. "Pleasure to meet you, My Bestest Friend I Will Ever Have! My names David!" Pinkie glanced at his cutie mark before grinning right back. "Do you like songs?"
"Do I!" David chirped, pulling his guitar out from God Knows Where. "Do you want to hear Camp Campbell's theme song?" He asked her seriously. Just as serious, Pinkie leaned forwards and nodded. Leaning back, David strummed the guitar and began to sing.
"Ooooooooooooh!"
Max woke up just in time to face off against the giant fucking wooden wolf.
He was surrounded by apple trees, which didn't make sense. There was no apple trees anywhere near Camp Campbell. Has God finally answered my prayers and teleported me away from that shit infested fuck fest? And then the wolf came in.
The second it's weird eyes fell on Max, it lunged for him. On instinct alone, he turned and ran, dodging through apple tree's and jumping over logs. Wait a fucking minute, he glanced down, why am I running on all fours? That's when he noticed the brownish-orange fur covering his body. He was so surprised, he stumbled, which turned out to be a huge mistake.
The wooden wolf pinned him down. Max struggled, but it was too large and too strong. The wolf threw back it's head and howled, from the sounds of it, calling for it's pack. But seriously, did a wolf shag a tree? Was this how it happened?
"Hey! You!" A southern voice called, and Max craned his head back far enough to see a yellow pony wearing a pink bow standing on top of what looked like a clubhouse. "Yes?!" He screamed back. The wolf seemed confused, darting it's eyes between the prey beneath it's paws, or the filly on the roof.
"Need some help?" Max couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I'd appreciate it!" He yelled back. "Okay, ah'll go get mah sis!" The sound of hooves hitting the ground made it clear that she was indeed running away. "Your a unicorn! If you know any magic to keep him at bay, use it!"
Unicorn? You gotta be kidding me? Am I going to poop out rainbows or something? He thought, before coming aware of the extra appendage on his body. How do you work? He asked it quietly, but he was out of time. More of those wolves had come, and the lead wolf snarled at him, before biting down on empty air.
Max had vanished in a flash of light similar to his eye color, only to reappear on top of the weird clubhouse thing. The wolf things circled him from down below, snarling. Max rolled his eyes, before leaping off the roof and into the mob, preparing to cast another spell.
Princess Celestia's and Princess Luna's heads jerked up as one. "Is something wrong, auntie?" Princess Cadence asked, looking up at the two elder Gods, who simply exchanged a nervous glance.
"Cadence, you know how I once told you that Princess Twilight was the most powerful unicorn in all of history?" Celestia asked slowly. "And that she would never be usurped, yes. Why?" Cadence looked between them.
"She's just been usurped" Luna said nervously.
Apple Bloom, Applejack and Big Mac all stared open mouthed at the battle in front of them. No, it wasn't even a fight. It was a massacre.
The unicorn colt, who Apple Bloom had found kind of cute in a scrawny sort of way, with his black mane and dark brown coat, but with jade green eyes, was laying waste to the timberwolves that had just tried to kill him.It was only then that Apple Bloom noticed his cutie mark, a star surrounded by a magic wisp. He was a powerful mage.
And he certainly proved it, teleporting in and out, casting shield spells, creating laser beams, even levitating himself briefly. It was strangely majestic to watch, like watching ballet.
Once all the timberwolves had been destroyed, the unicorn colt turned around, only to spot the three gaping Apple Siblings. "What?" He asked, before face planting the ground.