“Well...an argument with Zesty isn’t as bad as I thought…” Celestia sighs out, agreeing with what the stick figure was saying about how Zesty has a problem with food in general.
“Oh ye of little faith. I had everything under my chaotic control.” Discord hummed as he slithered around the room conjuring up something.
“Zesty might still come here and complain about the Stick Figure…” Celestia rubs her temple. “Still can’t believe she thinks her word is law on food…” She grumbles, finding how Zesty hating Grilled Cheese sandwiches seemed silly.
“To be fair every time you go eat and hate a restaurant they go through crippling bankruptcy and fall into a squalor of horrible business deals because ponies can’t think for themselves most of the time.” He finished conjuring a large mirror which showed the stick figure fighting against a manticore.
“I know…” Celestia says, seeing the stick figure swiftly kill a wild manticore with such ease with a greatsword.
“I wonder if he knows that some manticore meat is poisoned due to faulty poison sacs in the tail.” Discord snapped his talons making the poison sacs disappear if only to have more chaos later.
Celestia saw the stick figure cut open the manticore, trying to find the poison sacs but not finding any. “Well it seems he did know about removing the poison sacs...but with them removed he might not trust it and forgo eating...again.”
“I know.” Discord snickered.
”Can’t I just eat!?!” The stick figure shouts in bitterness.
“Dear me…” Celestia grumbles, face hoofing and shaking her head.
“Oh this reminds me. I felt a disturbance…in the forest. Another spatial rift opened up a few minutes ago. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.” Discord smiled as he sent the poison sacs back.
Celestia’s eyes widened at hearing that, the the blue stick figure seeing the perfectly fine poison sacs in it’s body and sighing out, removing the poison sacs carefully and starting a fire with a sword and wood he found scattered across the forest floor. “Oh no...not more of them…” Celestia says worriedly, getting a bad feeling about this.
“Oh right…I almost forgot again. I felt several of the trees also move in the forest. You know no biggie just remembered after all what are friends for.” Discord gave a cocky smirk as he pulled a bag of popcorn out of nowhere.
“The trees moving in the Everfree?” Celestia asks, not entirely sure if that was either because of the magic there, something strange was happening, or a stick figure somehow could bend plants in any way. “This is getting worse and worse…”
“It’s not so bad in my perspective. Oh should we place bets on who wins when they fight?” Discord chewed on his popcorn.
“This isn’t the time Discord.” She frowns, seeing the blue stick figure cooking the manticore meat with practiced ease, checking the cooked meat well before gently taking a small bite from it, making Celestia hold a hoof to her mouth. “Oh dear…” She mutters, hating the sight of seeing a being eat another being.
“Oh that’s no reason to be a party pooper. Hey! LUNA! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A BET!” Discord hollered out all across the castle.
The alicorn in question teleported into the room. “Bet on what?” Luna asks curiously, looking at the mirror and her eyes widened in horror. “What is that doing here?” Luna asks worriedly.
“Oh him? Don’t worry too much he’s harmless. He didn’t just destroy all of the Whitetail Woods in a battle with a Parasprite Queen. I’m asking ya if you want to make a bet on who wins the next fight. Blue Stick or this new one Pink Stick. Who do you choose?” Discord looked down at the now frightened Luna.
“He what!?!” Luna shouts, even more shocked at the part he destroyed Whitetail Woods while fighting that thing. “Is the Queen dead?”
“Oh yes. Squashed like a bug. Literally. And what a mess it was. I could see it now. Parts everywhere, you know the whole deal. Now about that bet?” Discord smirked again gauging Luna’s reaction.
“I’d rather not make a bet without details here Discord, especially betting against you.” Luna states, composing herself after her freak out.
“Here you are. A detailed stat sheet of what he is capable of and what she is capable of from initial viewings. This will be a friendly wager this time. No tricks at all.” Discord stated handing Luna a paper with the stats spoken of.
Luna magically grabbed the paper and looked at all the stats given. “Hmm…” She says, reading over the two combatants several times at what’s been given. “Wow...the Blue one. He seems the more versatile against his opponent, has several elemental weapons, speed and strength, while the other is just as strong she can only do so much with her powers.” Luna explains with a nod, having full faith in the Blue one to win.
“So which do you choose?” Discord smirked.
“I just told you.” Luna deadpans. “The Blue Stick Figure.”
“Excellent choice! I decided as well. It shall end in a draw with the two making out.” Discord counters. He grabbed Luna’s hoof and shook it sealing the deal.
“Why would they make out in the middle of a heated battle?” Celestia asks.
“Have you not read action stories Tia?” Luna asks bluntly. “It’s a standard trope for a male character and a female character to beat each other up and they somehow decide to make out.”
“Such a plebeian isn’t she my dear Luna. Truly the greatest convention of literary foolishness and the Princess of the Sun can’t see the writing on the wall.” Discord snapped his talon and several words seem to kiss each other on the walls of the palace.
“I’ve heard philosophers say ‘life is a story’ in one way or another...but life isn’t always filled with those cliches.” Celestia says with a frown. “And I’m sorry I’m normally up to my horn in work most of the time.” The alicorn grumbles.
“So you’re in on the bet?” Discord nudged Celestia with his elbow.
“What are we betting to begin with? Luna forgot to ask that.” Celestia frowns, causing Luna to face hoof.
“I knew I forgot something…” Luna mumbled to herself.
“I have this limited edition coin from back during my era. The only one forged in existence. A four dimensional coin.” He spun it in his talons as pockets of time stopped in certain areas.
“You do know that if anyone besides us saw that they’d...probably go mad right?” Celestia frowns.
“It’s the only reason I’m letting you two see.” Discord smirks.
“Oh god my eyes!!” A random guard screams out as he turned to stone and back in five seconds.
“Put the coin away Discord…” Celestia practically orders Discord. “I don’t want my ponies getting hurt because of your coin.”
“Eh don’t worry about it. He was pilfering from the royal cake vaults anyways.” Discord placed the coin back in his dimensional pocket. “Now Luna what have you bet?”
Celestia glared at the guard that was stealing her cake. “Well…” She starts before thinking of her pet. “How about a scale from my Quetzalcoatl?” Luna asks. “She’s been shedding a bit so getting a scale wouldn’t be too hard on her.
“Hm… I could produce a lot of alchemy products or troll Sparkle… Deal!” Discord shouted out. “Celestia?”
“Knowing full well Discord’s probably right I’m not going to bet.” Celestia says. “Stick Figures are too unpredictable, even more unpredictable than you Discord.” She says to him.
“Why do you think I’m making a bet? I have no idea what is going to happen. This is the only time where and when I can make a bet and have fun with it.” Discord grandstands and lifts his hand to the heavens as light falls down on him symbolizing his glee.
“You can enjoy screwing with the nobles for an hour during Day Court.” Celestia says, grinning and thinking that’s a win even if she loses her bet.
“Hmm…okay Celestia. That’s fair…after all…you’re part of the day court as well.” Discord grabbed her hoof and shook sealing the deal.
“I said ‘nobles’, not me.” Celestia states. “I may be a princess, but I am not a ‘noble’ as everyone explains the common ‘high class’ of Canterlot.” Celestia says with a cheeky grin.
“Unfortunately that is not how you worded it before we shook. Better luck next time Celestia.” Discord snapped his talon and poofed away.
“He...does know you were clarifying what you meant after you agreed...right Tia?” Luna asks curiously.
“Oh well. As long as the Everfree isn’t destroyed and Discord can help me bear with Day Court for at least an hour then I’ll be fine.” Celestia shrugs.
A note floated down to Celestia.
Everfree is destroyed. Property taxes rise. Stick Figures nearly turn Ponyville into an inferno. Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony saves the day and keeps Fluttershy safe. Ponyville is ruined.
Celestia’s right eye twitches. “Sometimes I just...really hate things…”
“Uh…” Luna starts before reading the note. “Oh...well...we all have those moments, no matter who we are right?” Luna says sheepishly.
Somewhere in the distance Discord’s laughter could be heard throughout Equestria.
To be continued...