I was sitting comfortably on a seat on a train looking out if the window at the green and pleasant countryside. It wouldn't be long before I reached the town of Ponyville. I didn't live there but I would be staying for a while at a local hotel and thanks to a....particular individual, it wouldn't cost me anything personally. The individual in question had kindly opened an expense account and said to get what I need to and not worry about the cost. The individual is.....rather wealthy and I currently had no means to buy or rent my own place.
Recently I had moved from home and was unable to return for various reasons and the nation of Equestria was my only option. Princess Celestia was fortunately very understanding of my situation and granted me residency in her nation.
I owe her a lot.
More than I could ever repay.
As the train came to a halt at the platform I levitated my luggage and briskly walked off, not accidentally wanting to be left on board. I didn't have much luggage, just a suitcase and a couple of saddlebags carrying a few odds and sods. I also had my piano accordion with me, a gift from my late mother. I made my way to the station exit and headed into Ponyville itself, many ponies out and about going about their business.
None of them paid much attention to me. A few waved at me, which I reluctantly returned, but apart from that I was left alone.
That is until one very pink Earth pony literally popped into view out of thin air.
"Hey there new pony," she said ecstatically, "My Pinkie sense sensed a new pony was in town."
"Ah huh," I replied not giving a damn what this crazy mare was saying.
"That means I have to throw you a New Pony Party."
She disappeared before I could object.
I hate parties. I detest them with a passion few could comprehend. Dreary, superficial conversations, awful 'music', awful games, party hats. Ugh...party hats. If anypony tries to put one on me and they'll get my hoof in their face.
Anyway, I carried on walking to where I would be staying. A small hotel called The Starry Night Inn. It cost 25 bits a night but included complementary breakfast and tea time meals.
I approached the hotel and while relatively small, had a warm welcoming feel to it. I went in and approached the front desk where an Earth pony mare was going through some paperwork. The clopping of my hooves on the polished hardwood floor caught her attention and she looked up at me.
"Hello there and welcome to the Starry Night Inn, how can I help you," she asked with a cheery smile.
"Hi. I had a room here reserved, I'm Apollo."
"OK, let me just check the reservations."
The mare looked through a book and very soon brought her attention back to me, "Ah yes, here you are. You're booked for the Deluxe Suite on the 2nd floor."
The mare went over to a board and removed the relevant key, "Here you are sir, I'll just need you to fill in a form. It's nothing major, it's just states the house rules and that you've actually arrived."
"OK, I see no problem with that."
After a minute or so the form was signed and I was walking up the stairs to my temporary accommodation. I entered the room and whilst quite small, still had a double bed and en-suite bathroom. There was also self-catering facilities in the form of a small kitchen with a microwave, kettle and toaster. There was also a mini-fridge containing some milk and several bars of white chocolate. All courtesy of my friend.
I put my saddlebags and suitcase on the bed and decided to head into town, if only to stretch my legs. I left my room key with the reception desk as per house rules and left the hotel. I didn't really know my way around so I picked a random direction and started walking. Like earlier several of the towns ponies waved at me as I looked around. It seemed to be market day if the number of stalls was anything to go by.
I wasn't really interested in buying anything. I hadn't even brought my bits with me. Anyway I was minding my own business looking at stuff when I felt somepony bump into me, knocking me off my hooves and causing me to land on my rump.
"Oh I'm sorry, I apologise. I didn't see you there."
It's her.
I got up to my hooves and Twilight Sparkle was stood there with a book unsurprisingly in her magic grip.
"Don't worry about it, no harm done," I replied through gritted teeth.
"I've not seen you around here before."
"I'm just visiting."
"That's great. Ponyville is a welcoming place to visitors. Everypony goes out of their way to make them feel at home."
I'm pretty sure a certain griffin and zebra would disagree with that.
"I'm sure it is. Good day to you Twilight Sparkle," I replied half-heartedly.
I heard her gasp, "How did you know my name?"
"You're the Element of Magic and personal student of Princess Celestia. Everypony in Equestria knows who you are, along with your friends."
"I guess that makes sense," she replied before her face lit up, "Would you like to meet them?"
"No thank you. I've already met Pinkie and it's an encounter I'd prefer not to repeat."
She laughed a little, "Yeah I can see why Pinkie would make you feel that way, but she's really friendly when you get to know her."
"Be that as it may be, I'm not interested in meeting your friends. No offence but I'm not here to make friends and I have no interest in making friends."
Twilight looked like her favourite book had just been banned.
"How could you not be interested in making friends? Do you not have any friends?"
"I do but seeing as I'm just a visitor it makes no sense in making friends."
She narrowed her eyes and smirked, "I guarantee you mister, you will have friends before you leave. And a quick heads up, there's no escaping a Pinkie Party. Especially when you'll be the pony of honour tonight."
She walked away still smirking. If smugness was radiation, I and everypony in Equestria would be dead or dying from radiation poisoning.
I hate this town.
A few hours had past and I was in my hotel room resting after finishing my tea of Vegetable soup with a freshly made Prench baguette. I was snoozing on my bed when a knock at the door disturbed my peace.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's your favourite party pony Pinkie Pie!"
I groaned loudly, "I'm not interested in a party. Go away!"
"No."
"I'm not going to your party and that's final!"
"It's not my party, it's your party."
"I'm still not going!"
"But everypony is waiting for you!"
I sighed, deeply irritated at the persistence of the pink mare. As much as I didn't want to go, I got the feeling this mare would not give up.
Pity she wasn't this friendly before.
"Fine. I'll go!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
"But no party hats!"
Pinkie agreed to that and I walked with her to Sugarcube Corner, or more accurately I walked, she bounced along. Before we even got there I could see and hear everypony starting up. We entered Sugarcube Corner and as soon as we entered Pinkie used her foghorn voice and announced our arrival.
"Hey everypony, our new friend is here!"
Everypony turned around and immediately began cheering and stomping their hooves.
"Come on Apollo, let's get partying!"
"How did you know my name?"
"Duh, it was on your hotel reservation."
"And how did you know I was staying there?"
"I saw you entering earlier after you were walking around town all mopey."
"I guess that makes sense....hey hang on a minute I wasn't all mopey."
"Yes you were. Your face was all frowny and grumpy and you were mumbling naughty swear words to yourself."
That took me by surprise. I knew for absolute certain that she was not around me when I was out, and while I did mumble strong obscenities to myself it was barely audible to me let alone anypony else.
"Swearing in public, how uncouth," said a white unicorn mare approaching me.
I don't give a fuck if I was swearing in public you prissy bitch.
"Ah agree, what if one of the foals heard ya?"
And it's the cowgirl with a disturbing love of apples.
"Honestly I don't give a fuck, they'll learn it themselves eventually."
Both reeled back like I'd smacked them with my hoof, though how I wish I could do that. However, they quickly recovered and where about to give me an ear bashing when Sparkle Butt, or whatever her name is, intervened.
"Girls, let's not argue with our new friend. I'm sure he didn't mean it, he's probably just tired from his journey....and Pinkie's antics."
Applejack and Rarity both took in her words and extended their hooves apologetically.
"Yeah ah suppose so. I guess we've all been a bit cranky lately, at least since that monster attack."
"I agree darling, that vicious monster would cause anypony to still be cranky."
Deciding to keep the peace, for now at least, I shook their hooves.
"Understandable, I'm Apollo by the way."
"Pleasure to meet yah Apollo, ahm Ap-"
"Applejack, bearer of the Element of Honesty, and Rarity; bearer of the Element of Generosity."
The two mares looked at one another then back to me.
"How did you know that darling?"
"Everypony in Equestria knows who you all are."
"Damn right everypony does!"
A cyan pegasus landed right in front of me with a confident smirk on her face, looking directly at me.
"So, a unicorn huh? Are you an egghead like Twilight?"
"Hey!" Twilight moaned.
"Not really," I answered, "I was never really that good at school."
"So what is it you do huh? Your cutie mark looks weird."
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded, "That's no way to talk of somepony's cutie mark!"
"It's fine Rarity, it does look a little weird," I countered.
My cutie mark consisted of three circles that connected to a centre point. The circles though were not 'complete'. Where they would 'complete' instead they went under and over. The 'over' part is what connected the each circle to the centre, and each circle to each other.
"What is it though?" she asked.
"It's similar to a Celtic Triple Circle, denoting my skill in illusion magic."
"What's a Celtic Triple Circle? And you're not part of a travelling magic act are you?" Rainbow asked getting into my face, or muzzles almost touching.
"A Celtic Triple Circle is a symbol from long ago in my homeland and no, I'm not part of a magical act."
All the mares visibly sighed in relief.
"Good," Twilight said, "Ponyville has had quite enough of magical illusion tricks."
It seems Trixie has already been here. Not sure why they don't like her, OK she can be boastful but if you look past that she actually really friendly and great fun to be around.
"Well enough talking about Trixie and monster attacks," Rarity said, "Let's enjoy this wonderful party that Pinkie has put on."
Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity trotted away, I turned away also and noticed Twilight looking at me suspiciously, if her narrowed eyes were anything to go by.
"Something wrong?" I asked her.
She immediately stopped squinting and trotted away, "No no no, I was just leaving....to join my friends."
She bolted away quickly, clearly knowing she was caught staring at me.
Damn ponies of this town. I shook my head and made my way to the buffet table where a wide range of cakes, pastries and sandwiches were on display. I grabbed a plate in my magic and filled plate with some cheese and onion quiche, cheese sandwiches, egg sandwiches, yum-yums, cheese straws and a cinnamon bun.
For a drink I had a glass of orange juice, if only to piss off Applejack.
Which it did.
After a while though, I noticed one of the elements was missing. Though I had a feeling why, I still wanted to know for certain so after finishing my food I tried to find Twilight; which took longer than expected given how nosy everypony was. Is it really too difficult for them to mind their own business? What business is it of theirs where I come from or how I got my cutie mark?
I eventually got to Twilight, though to be honest.....I really didn't want to speak to her.
Not after what she did.
But I had my reasons for coming to Ponyville.
She was busy talking to a pony I recognised immediately as Lyra Heartstrings.
Neither of them looked particularly happy and from my perspective, they were unhappy with each other. I walked over, their conversation becoming more and more easy to distinguish from the cacophony of noise in the room the closer I got.
"I still can't believe you would endanger Ponyville like that Lyra, or all of Equestria for that matter."
"In what way did I endanger anypony?"
"By letting that vicious monster loose! It took considerable effort to subdue the monster and tie it up in Applejack's barn, then you and others, including Fluttershy, freed it!"
"That creature was no monster. You are just prejudiced against anything that isn't a pony."
Twilight reeled back as if hit, "That's not true. I treat everypony in an equal and fair manner."
"Yeah, everypony you do. But what about Griffons, or Minotaurs?"
"You're twisting my words!"
Just then Lyra finally noticed me.
"Hey there," she said, "Sorry if you heard us."
"That's fine, not my business anyway. Though I am curious about this...monster."
Twilight was about to speak but Lyra cut her off, prompting Twilight to scowl at her.
"It wasn't a monster, but whatever it was it didn't deserve to be treated how certain ponies," Lyra said, looking at Twilight before looking back to me, "Were treating it. So I and a few others helped it escape to safety."
"And endanger all of Equestria in the process," Twilight said harshly.
"Really?" Lyra asked sceptically, "It, or rather, HE, seemed very well mannered and polite. He even hugged me."
"Hugged you? Do you realise what you allowed the monster to do? Hugging you is how it could brainwash you into doing its bidding, or make you think you like it before it lures you in and it eats you!"
Lyra just stared at Twilight with her mouth agape, "Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now?"
"Not as stupid as the pony who hugged a dangerous monster!"
"In what way was that creature dangerous?"
"Well for starters it had sharp teeth so it clearly eats meat."
"Spike has razor sharp teeth, Rarity's cat, Pinkie's alligator, Applejack's dog and even YOUR owl all eat meat. Should we call them monsters?"
"They are no such thing! Their sharp teeth is simply part of their biology."
"And the creature's isn't? Seriously Twilight, you're making pathetic excuses to justify your treatment of the creature, hoping your atrocious behaviour won't get you sent back to Magic Kindergarten by Princess Celestia."
Twilight smirked smugly, "Princess Celestia is aware of the situation, and has assured me the monster will be locked away in the Canterlot Dungeons where it can't hurt anypony."
I decided I had listened long enough.
"What exactly did this creature do?"
"Monster," Twilight 'corrected', "That monster just walked out the Everfree Forest and attacked Rainbow Dash, causing her to have a concussion and putting her in hospital."
"Where there any extenuating circumstances?"
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"Well if the creature-"
"Monster."
"Creature," I re-corrected, causing Twilight to scowl at me, "If the creature had just walked out of the Everfree it may have been on edge and jumpy, especially if it was attacked by the real monsters that live there. If the creature saw Rainbow Dash approaching he may have assumed, in his jumpy state, that he was going to be attacked again and defended himself accordingly."
"That's not it at all!" Twilight said firmly, "You're making excuses for the monster's vicious attack!"
"Maybe. But Princess Celestia is on the case, so why worry? Surely she of all ponies can handle this one creature."
"Monster, but yes. When Princess Celestia captures the monster, it will be thrown in the dungeons where it belongs."
I expected Lyra to make a rebuttal against Twilight but instead I saw her looking at me suspiciously.
"You OK Lyra?" I asked.
"I'm good," she replied, still eyeing me suspiciously, "I'll be on my way, Bon Bon will be wondering where I got to."
"Sure, see you round some time."
She waved goodbye and walked away, leaving me alone with Twilight.
Lucky me.
"So," she started, "Why don't you tell me a bit more about yourself?"
"Why?"
This simple, short question seemed to confuse the little pony before me.
"Because.....I'd like....to be friends with you?"
"Knowing things about me will not make us friends."
"You don't want to be friends?" she asked, seemingly on the verge of tears.
"No, at least I don't want to be friends straight off the bat. My friendship is earned, not given away."
Twilight sighed in defeat, "I understand...I guess. But could you tell me where you're from at least, or what it is that you do?"
As much as I didn't want her to know anything about me, I got the distinct impression she wouldn't stop pestering me until she got what she wanted. But if I gave her the answers she wanted, that may encourage her to ask more.
Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.
"Fine."
Twilight beamed with joy and gave me a quick hug before bouncing around me once, bringing into view some quills, ink and parchment.
"Question one. What is your name?"
"Apollo," I replied, even though she already knew my name.
"Question two, where are you from?"
"Albion."
"Albion? I've never heard of that place."
"It's a far far away land."
"How far?"
"Far enough that it's likely I'll never see it again."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," she said with sincere sorrow, "Question three, what is your cutie mark?"
Again, I've already explained this.
"It's basically a Celtic Tripe Circle. My speciality is in Illusion magic."
"Excellent," she replied, writing it down, "What are your hobbies?"
"Astronomy, music, eating white chocolate, mechanical engineering and aerospace Engineering."
"They're.....interesting, though I don't see how eating white chocolate could be considered a hobby. And with Aerospace Engineering, do you mean things like airships?"
"Yep."
"Amazing feats of technology. We ponies are exceptionally advanced."
"Airships are obsolete and incredibly primitive."
Twilight looked at me in shock and disbelief, as though it where an affront to disagree with her. Which she would probably say it is.
"But but the newest airship, the Star of Celestia is state of the art and the most advanced airship in the world, with years of research into making it the best it possibly can be! How can you say it's obsolete?"
"Quite easily actually. Have you seen those pedal powered gyro-copters?"
"Yes."
"I endeavour to make those but powered by an internal combustion engine."
"What?! But internal combustion is impossible!"
"Says who?"
"Says some of the finest pony minds in Equestria!"
"Well they're wrong. And I will eventually prove it."
"And how do you plan to do that? You specialise in illusion magic. You're not qualified or educated in such matters as aerospace or mechanical engineering."
"How would you know?" I ask, insulted she would question my intellect.
"If you where knowledgeable in what you say, then your cutie mark would reflect that. You may enjoy those subjects, but they are not your special talent. Illusion magic is."
"Perhaps you are right," I reply, not in any mood to argue with her.
Twilight smirked once more and smugly raised her muzzle into the air, "I always am."
She trotted away with smug superiority, leaving me alone with myself for company.
Not much better in my opinion.
After another hour or so the party finally ended. I spoke to a few more ponies including Twilight's friends, except Fluttershy who stayed at her cottage in protest at the way the creature was treated. Apparently she was one of the ponies who helped it escape to safety along with Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia and Thunderlane. She considered it hypocritical to be welcoming to a pony but violently attack a creature that was acting in self defence. I also found out through speaking to ponies that Twilight had convinced the others that the creature had implanted those thoughts into her mind when it hugged her, further causing them to believe the creature was a threat.
All that was several weeks ago apparently, and despite there being no reports of attacks, Twilight still believed the 'monster' was out to get everypony and eat them for lunch.
Moron.
Anyway, I was walking back to my hotel room to turn in for the night. I'd had enough craziness in one night to last a lifetime, and enough of Twilight to last several.
Tomorrow though, would be an interesting day.