//------------------------------// // Good Intentions... // Story: Fractured // by Briar Heart //------------------------------// Morning found the mare in her new home. The sun glimmered through the window highlighting the dust that roamed about the air. Though this home was now her safe place, Briar still woke as soon as the sun graced her face. She never really felt entirely comfortable sleeping in an environment that she was not entirely familiar with. It would likely take her a month or two to finally feel like she could relax in this home but that did not diminish the joy she felt with having a place to call her own. Briar began to rouse from her bed as she blinked the sleep from her eyes. The past few days had began to catch up with her and though being able to rest last night was wonderful, she still felt tired.She promised herself to try and sleep a little earlier tonight in hopes to wake up more refreshed tomorrow.   Her glasses levitated from the nightstand and moved closer to her. Briar’s eyes focused on her golden bangles that remained on the nightstand, pondering if she wanted to wear them today. She would only be in the house cleaning and they would likely get in the way. She pondered this for a moment and decided to leave them behind. Briar had been wanting to become less and less reliant on them. She would never get past her anxiety if she always used those as a crutch… It would take a long time and a lot of baby steps, but in the long term she hoped that she would eventually be able to enjoy life without the constant fear and panic looming in her mind. She was in safe surroundings and shouldn’t be expecting anything she couldn’t handle today… This would be an exercise in trust and hopefully help her come to terms with her new reality.   She left her bedroom and began a steady trot towards the main living room once more. This whole house was one level which was something she enjoyed. It was a quaint, small enclosure that would need little maintenance in the long run. Briar turned the corner and levitated the broom from its corner. Her eyes scanned the living room as she tried to assess all that needed to be done, now that she had natural light to illuminate everything. She inhaled deeply as the workload ahead of her began to set in. “Well…” she began. “No time like the present.”   Wrapped in the same delight that took her last night, Briar moved about the homestead light on her hooves. She hummed to herself as she cleaned, sweeping all the settled dust that had accumulated over the years the home remained vacant. Hours passed as she cleaned and moved things about the home to make it her own. The furniture had all been shifted to make the space feel more welcoming. The secondary room was turned into a craft room which housed her sewing machine. It still had the guest bed that her grandmother originally had in there, leaving the option for overnight guests open still. Briar removed the bedding to wash it and left the window open to help air it all out. She would have to go to the market today and get some groceries once the kitchen was clean. Autumn mentioned bringing some sandwiches over today so Briar hoped to at least have the place tidy enough to sit down to lunch. She wondered how her grandmother’s garden was. Surely it would need some tending to, but if she could get that going again she would love to plant some produce. As she continued to dust the shelves in the pantry, Briar’s ears folded back when she heard a knock at the door. It was a little before lunch so she assumed it was her mother with the promised sandwiches. A smile formed on her lips as she began to realize how hungry she was. Briar put the duster down before trotting over to her front door. Upon opening it however, she was not greeted by her mother’s gaze. Instead, a blur of pink seemingly lunged forward at her, stopping moments before her face. Briar was easily startled and this sudden, unexpected motion caused her to take a terrified step back. She brought a hoof up as her heart pounded in her chest; her ‘Fight or Flight’ instincts on the verge of kicking in. Her emerald and gold eyes focused on the earth pony before her - a pink mare with an unruly mane, blue eyes and a seemingly impossible large smile. “Hello~!” she cheered, pulling back to stand flat on her hooves once more. The pink mare trotted in place, seemingly giddy and excited by this meeting. Briar eased slightly, her wide eyes scanning the mare still. “Um… Hello?” she responded with clear confusion. “Do I, um.. Know you?” “No, silly! We just met,” the earth pony quickly responded. Briar paused, waiting for a continuation but it started to seem like she wasn’t going to get one. As she inhaled to ask why this pony was at her doorstep, the cheerful mare spoke up once again. “I’m Pinkie Pie! But you can just call me Pinkie. I am Ponyville’s party planner!” Briar finally placed her front hoof down as her heart rate began to settle down. “Okay…?” she began, trying to politely prompt more information without directly asking for it. “... And this is when you tell me your name,” she pushed, continuing her large smile. “Oh. I’m Briar Heart…” she replied, trying to be social but it clearly wasn’t her strong suit.   “Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle mentioned that a pony they never seen before had arrived yesterday and I just had to come over and say Hi!” Briar began to piece things together but she was still rather confused as to why Pinkie Pie felt the need to come to her door. “Okay… Well. You’ve said Hi, so I guess you’ll be going now-” “That’s not all!” “Of course not…” Briar muttered to herself while still trying to keep a forced smile on her lips. “It was a little rushed, but I put together a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ Party for you! I woulda been here earlier but I wanted to get everything ready first.” The expression she returned to the happy mare was now that of shock. “Y-You didn’t have to-” “I know I didn’t, but I did! I love to put parties together for everypony. It’s a nice way to take a break, relax and meet new friends!” Panic began to take over against as Briar took a half step back into her home. She gave an awkward smile and a force giggle as she tried to think of a way to escape this situation. “That was nice and all but… I have a lot of work to do…” “Ohh! I can bring everypony here if you want!” Briar’s eyes shot open as she quickly shook her head. “No! Sweet Celestia please just… I-I’ll go. Just give me a mome-” “Yay! Come on!” Pinkie Pie cheered, seemingly only hearing the acceptance and ignoring the rest of Briar’s sentence. The pink mare quickly grabbed hold of Briar and began to drag her from the safe confines of her home. The unicorns soft sounds of protest seemed to be drowned out by Pinkie Pies ramblings of all the things she had to go through to get the party ready. Briar’s eyes looked back to the homestead longingly - her heart raced again as she tried to fight the panic setting in. She was literally being dragged to a social gathering without her tether - her bangles. If she had her sketchbook she might be able to manage, but both of her means of comfort and calming remained in the rapidly shrinking cottage as her body couldn’t do anything to stop the earth ponies strength.     --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     SugarCube Corner… She remembered coming to this shop when she was a filly. Her mother would often bring her in when she came to get treats to serve to friends or even customers on occasion. It hadn’t changed much from what she recalled… Well… It was full of ponies she did not know and party supplies at the moment. She was like a deer in headlights as Pinkie Pie pushed her through the front door. She was rigid and clearly did not want to move. As soon as the door closed behind them, all eyes were on her. She felt her blood run cold as her heart beat nearly stopped. A soft ringing in the back of her ears drowned out the cheers and greetings as her eyes frantically scanned the crowd. Breathing was her main focus, followed closely by trying to find an empty corner to hide in and wait out this party. That was her usual tactic at least, but a small detail she seemed to overlook was that this party was for her.   “Hello everypony! This is Briar Heart!” Pinkie Pie introduced to the room. Briar felt herself going a little numb as the others started to focus more and more on her. She could only manage fake smiles and small nods as the others started to introduce themselves to her. She didn’t really retain any of their names, something she would kick herself for later. She was really just waiting now for this all to be over. If her experience with parties had told her anything, soon everypony will separate into groups of small, closely knit friends and begin to talk among themselves. Again; she forgot that this party was for her.   Though impossible, she tried even harder to curl back into herself as ponies began to approach her. Her ears went back as she lefted a hoof up. “Briar Heart? That’s a lovely name!” “Um, thank yo-” “That’s an interesting cutie mark! How did you get it?” Briar turned to the side slightly as she tried to hide her flank, her cutie mark being a sore subject in general. “Well I don’t really wan-” “What do you do for a living?”   She felt like she was being interrogated. So many ponies were approaching her, asking questions and not even waiting for the answer. She soon felt a familiar pressure on her back as Pinkie Pie began to push her into the crowd. “Now, now Everypony! Let her get in the door at least.” Oh Sweet Celestia, please no…. Her mental pleas clearly went unheard but a small part of her wished that someone would realize how uncomfortable she was. Briar took a moment to close her eyes. She inhaled deeply and slowly, trying to calm herself. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest; painful. She moved her left hoof longing to hear the familiar jingle of her gold bangles but heard nothing. It took everything she had to not visibly tremble at the moment.   Briar opened her eyes to see she was surrounded by unknown ponies once more. They began to continue with questions; asking where she came from, what she did in Manehattan, why she moved to Ponyville. Briar did her best to explain that she was actually born in Ponyville; information that seemed to generate some shock. “I don’t remember you! What year did you go to school?” That seemed to bother Briar more the she expected. “Well… I never really stood out much…” she replied disheartened. The next question was what she did in Manehattan, which was pursuing a career in Fashion. “You sew? You should see Rarity - she is the local dressmaker here.” Briar felt a pit in her stomach. The prospect of meeting another fashion pony who actually had the will to stick it out in the Fashion world made her uneasy. She politely declined and said that she had no real desire to sew anymore, partially answering the question as to why she was back in Ponyville.   “We didn’t know you sewed! Explains why your art is really good,” sounded a small familiar tone - Sweetie Belle. Briar looked down to her side to see the CMC sporting the large smiles she had seen from them last night. But fear washed over her as they mentioned her artistic hobby. The same thing happened every time; “You draw too? Can we see?” Briar felt so vulnerable when others requested to see her illustrations. Experiences in her past have caused her to become self conscious about them. She often saw them as something very intimate - like a piece of her soul on paper for the world to see. Putting all of that work and soul into a drawing and then having it judged by ponies left her feeling raw. “I- I left my sketchbook at home…” “Well that’s no problem, silly!” Pinkie Pie spoke up cheerfully. “I can get you some paper and a pencil right now!”   Briar’s eyes widened as she quickly clenched her jaw. “N-No! That’s fine! I- Uh, I use special pencils! A regular old number 2 won’t do the trick,” she quickly said hoping that the pink mare would get the hint. Pinkie Pie leaned over the stair rail as she stopped her travels upstairs. “I have a wide variety of drawing tools! I’ve been known to be a little artsy,” she replied with what Briar assumed was supposed to be a comforting smile. Her heart sank as the bright palette mare vanished upstairs. Knowing that another illustrator was here only added to her suffocating panic. It’s not that she was worried that Pinkie Pie was better than her - she feared that others would compare the two….   In what seemed like seconds, Pinkie Pie was already down the stairs and standing before Briar with her illustration tools. The unicorn gave a nervous smile as a forced thanks as she levitated the sketchbook from the earth pony’s grasp. The book was much like her own - likely the same brand which provided a little comfort to the brown mare. She flipped through looking for a blank page, but to subtly check Pinkie Pie’s work. The pages were covered in crayon and vibrant colour splashes. Some seemed to be the work of children even - there was a clear difference in the art styles here. “You’re art will be right at home here! Pumpkin and Pound Cake draw with me sometimes so it’s like a communal drawing pad.” Briar assumed the two names mentioned were the ones behind the infant like doodles. This all made things a little more comforting, but she still felt so hesitant. So many eyes were on her as she set the sketchbook down on a nearby table and got a pencil ready.   What to draw, what to draw…? I don’t want to sketch somepony because that is really easy to screw up… What about still life? I am surrounded by balloons and snacks… I guess I’ll have to go with original creation… But my mind is such a mess right now, I can’t even think of something to draw…   She looked around frantically to find something to inspire her, but the longer she took the more panicked she became. Everypony was standing around her waiting for her to start and she couldn’t even think of something to draw. M-Maybe if I just start… Something will happen…? She pondered, hoping that starting was just the hardest part right now. Briar turned her trembling gaze to the blank page before her and tried to think of a starting point. Where would she let the pencil tip fall…? Normally when she looked to a page, she could see an image in her mind of what she wanted to do. She would know where to put the pencil and the whole thing would move fluidly, without any real troubles. Briar gave in and simply took the plunge. She placed the pencil to the paper and began to sketch out some lines. Her mind was still blank and she still didn’t know what she wanted to do.   Her ears twitched as she heard murmurs from her assembled audience. “What will it be…?” “It’s just a bunch of lines right now…” “A little underwhelming, huh?” “The last pony who moved here became a Princess… Wonder if she will be amazing too…” “She’s been making the same line for awhile now…”   She felt a numbness in her ears as the ringing from before returned. Her breathing became ragged as she started to crumble under the pressure. Her body soon moved on its down. She felt faint as the pencil dropped. Briar’s eyes closed as her legs buckled, causing her to lay on the floor. The timid mare wrapped her legs inward and threw her front hooves over her head. “P-Please just STOP!” she cried out as her body shook. “No more! NO MORE!”   Gasps and sounds of shock washed over the party members as they began to take startled steps back. Briar tried to fight the sobs that begged to fall from her tightly closed eyes but the fact that had made this big of a display already made her so embarrassed. She felt so weak - so small. Why was she so broken? Why couldn’t she handle social interaction like a normal pony? Why was this so hard for her? Why was she such a mess?   “That’s it! Everypony step back, please!” a fair and gentle voice called out. Briar looked up, tears falling from her slowly opening eyes. Standing over her was a light yellow pegasus with a pale pink mane and tail. Her soft, feathered wings were outstretched, making her stance seem larger and more protective. The startled, judgemental eyes of the other ponies shifted from the downed Briar and moved to fixate on this new mare as she turned to face her. The pegasus laid down to be on eye level with Briar, still giving her enough room to breath. She folded a wing over to shelter Briar’s eyes from the rest of the ponies gathered in the room, forcing her focus to remain solely on the yellow mare. “Hi there… I’m Fluttershy,” she began in a gentle and soothing tone. Briar’s ears moved forward to catch it, focusing on her whisper like voice. “Are you okay to move…? How about we get you some fresh air, hm?” Briar took no time accepting this offer, quickly nodding. She would be mad to not want to leave at this point. Fluttershy offered another warm smile before slowly standing once more. She helped Briar to her hooves and the two made their way to the front door of SugarCube Corner. The others moved to the sides to offer enough room for the mares to leave as silence fell over the party. The only thing to be heard was the faint sounds of music in the background and their hooves on the hardwood floors.     --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     Briar felt sick. She inhaled deeply as the afternoon sun washed over her brown coat. Directing her gaze upward she closed her eyes and basked in the warmth that the open environment had to offer. The two mares walked in silence as Briar did her best to regain herself. As she had finally become calm she began to realize what just happened. Without a doubt those ponies now thought she was strange… Who else crumbles and screams in the middle of a party? Her stomach turned as toxic thoughts ran through her mind, worried about what the others thought of her now. Fluttershy took note of this change in expression. She quickened her pace and kept her head on level with Briar’s. “How are you feeling?” she asked in a comforting tone. “... Do you want the honest answer or the socially acceptable one?” Briar replied with clear disdain. “Well, the honest answer will help get a bit of this off of your chest, hm?” she replied with the same care she had provided thus far. Briar still didn’t know how to perceive this pony. She saved her and was still walking with her despite the deplorable conversation partner she had been. Her mind conditioned her to think that anyone being nice was only out to get something, but what could this pegasus want from her?   “I just… I don’t do well in crowds…” Briar began. That seemed to be the easiest thing to explain her outburst from earlier. “That’s fine. I understand that. It must have been hard being surrounded by a bunch of ponies you didn’t know…” the yellow mare tried to sympathize. “Yep… And now their first impression of me is screaming and crying while curling into a ball on the floor…” she said in a somber tone.   Her attention was quickly taken to the sound of an exasperated voice down the path behind her. "There you are! I had been waiting outside your door for a few minutes now! What happened to our lunch plans?" Autumn Chain stood just in view on the road before Briar’s home that remained just out of site. She had a basket levitating next to her and a tired expression on her face - one that Briar knew all too well. “I’m sorry Mother… I was pulled away unexpectedly…” she replied softly as her head hung low, a typical response of timid submission. “Well, thank Celestia you caught me. I was about to give up and go home. Come now, Briar, while the sandwiches are still fresh.” Briar nodded and she slowly began up the path. Autumn gave a sigh. “Don’t be rude, Briar. Are you going to at least invite your friend?” The brown mare looked up from the dirt path. Her gaze shifted to Fluttershy. A small part of her did want to invite the yellow mare but she had only just met her, and her mother seemed rather agitated at the moment.   “I would be happy to accept the invite," Fluttershy replied with a smile as she turned back to Autumn and Briar. The timid unicorn started to feel lighter as the tightness in her chest eased off. The two ponies began to follow Autumn back up the path and towards Briar’s homestead.