//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: If You Can’t Stand the Heat // Story: Pinkie and Sonata's Excellent Adventure // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// Sunset Shimmer stared intently at the smoke that poured out of a castle window and up into the Canterlot skyline, besmirching an otherwise perfectly blue day, not that there was much ‘perfect’ about the day she was having. Sunset closed her eyes and sighed, inhaled, then sighed again. She opened her eyes and stared at the castle once more, pursed her lips, and turned away. She turned to face the castle again. Closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, then opened her eyes and looked at the castle in determination. It’s alright, Sunset… You. Can. Do this! “Uh… You alright there, Sunset?” Spike asked. Sunset turned and smiled… At least… she thought it was a smile? Maybe it wasn’t or perhaps not a very convincing one as Spike and Twilight responded to her expression with frightful looks. Well… No matter. “I’m fine!” Sunset replied. “Totally, absolutely fine!” She said, gritting her teeth on ‘fine’. “Okay, okay… Sure, Sonata and Pinkie are on some sort of stupid-fueled rampage in Canterlot, but it’s nothing I can’t handle! I mean… It would have been great if they picked literally any other direction to head in, but of course their simple minds decided to go for the shiniest, biggest bauble they could see! So, you know!” Sunset swung a forehoof in front of her. “I’ll just go… to... Canterlot Castle! Where my problems are that I should fix… That I will fix!” Sunset grinned nervously. “Erm… At least the two problems of Sonata and Pinkie running loose.” Twilight looked at Sunset quizzically for a moment. “You have more problems at Canterlot Castle?” “No, Twilight!” Sunset said as her smile turned even more askew. “Why would I have any other problems at the castle I was exiled from?!” “Okay… I see your point,” Twilight said. “But, I’m sure Celestia is ready to overlook that. Your past aside, you did step up and save everyone from the sirens.” Sunset clamped down on her teeth hard. “Sure, Twilight!” She pressed her forehooves against her cheeks and pushed them in. “It’s not like Celestia will be so mad about me brining the sirens here that she would double banish me, tells me she hates me even more now, and we never talk EVER again because all I do is mess things up for her every time I’m around!” “Uh…” Spike scratched the back of his head. “I think you might be just being a little paranoid there,” he said, holding up a thumb in index claw just little bit away from each other. “I mean, Celestia’s pretty understanding,” Spike turned. “Right, Twilight?” Twilight wore terror on her face like an old, comfortable sweater. “Oh gosh… She might exile me too… “ Spike smacked a claw against his face. “Twilight... You have your own castle and a title now. I mean… How would that even work?” Twilight swallowed. “What if she banishes me and the castle to the moon!” Sunset cringed. “Oh my God, she just might!” Spike slumped his shoulders and let out a sigh. “Girls, I know you’re worried and all, but there’s an awful lot of smoke coming from the castle… Maybe we should get on that?” Sunset’s eyes went distant. “That means fire! She’ll suspect me for sure!” she murmured. “Lookin’ at you, Book Horse,” Spike said as he turned towards Twilight. “I think Sunset needs a moment.” Twilight took a deep breath. “Right, Spike.” She trotted up to the telescope. “We can worry about how Celestia responds later, right now we need to fix this.” Twilight peered through the telescope. “Hmmm… Looks like a kitchen fire… Maybe it’s unrelated?” Twilight suggested. Sunset took a few calming breaths. “No, wait… Sonata just flew through a closed window with Pinkie on her back.” Sunset’s eyes widened in horror as she gave a full-toothed grimace. Twilight continued, “Aaaaand the head chef is launching cutlery and pots and pans at them.” Sunset let out a sound that seemed to be a combination of a muted terrified shriek and a gurgle. “They’re flying off… No, wait… Sonata looped back and they just broke back into a castle through a different window… Wow... there's just broken glass, pots and pans, and butchers knives everywhere.” Sunset sank down to her belly and stared out into open space. Spike shot Sunset an unsure look and then turned, squinting at the castle. “Hey… I think I see something on the highest tower…” he said, pointing. Twilight shifted her telescope and cringed. “It’s uh… Celestia at her telescope. She sees us.” Sunset covered her face and began to sob pathetically. “Does… Does she look angry?” Spike asked. “Uh… Actually, she’s waving at us,” Twilight said. She raised a forehoof. “I’m waving back.” Sunset uncovered her face. “Twilight, we’re right here,” Spike pointed out as he joined in waving. “We can see what you're doing.” “Uh, right…” Twilight ceased waving. “I think she’s trying to say something, or lip-sync something to me? Uh…” Twilight peered intently through the telescope. “‘Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike. Who’s your friend?’ And I think she’s pointing at Sunset.” Slowly, Sunset got back to her hooves. A perplexed look on her face. “Celestia doesn’t recognize me?” “Wait,” said Twilight, “she’s looking through her telescope again… and…” Twilight pulled her face away from her telescope and rubbed her eye. “That can’t be right…” “What?” enquired Spike. Twilight placed her peeper back on the telescope. “I think… I think Celestia is hyperventilating… and… er… having a panic attack?” Perplexed expression on her face, Sunset trotted over to Twilight. “Let me see…” Twilight moved aside and allowed Sunset to look through the telescope. Sunset sighed. “Yes… Celestia sees me and is now running in place and looking for something to hide behind… She picked the railing that’s still shorter than her even when she gets down on the floor and covers her head. Aaaand she just realized we can probably still see her and has bolted back inside.” Sunset removed her eyes from the telescope. “Typical,” she uttered in an annoyed tone as she trotted away from the telescope. Twilight pursed her lips and returned to looking through the telescope. “Maybe I can find her…” Sunset raised an eyebrow. “What? Do you get X-ray vision as a princess, too?” “No, but I can sometimes see Celestia through a window or something when I look through the telescope.” “… Well, that doesn’t sound weird at all!” Sunset quipped. “Oh! There she is, in her bedroom!” Twilight said. “Totally not creepy…” Sunset added. “… She’s pulled the covers up over her head,” Twilight informed. Sunset rolled her eyes. “Of course she did.” “Uh, Twilight?” Spike interjected. “Maybe this isn’t an appropriate time for this.” Twilight turned narrowed her eyes at Spike slightly. “Oh, sure! When the Princess of the Night looks at ponies in their bedrooms, it’s considered ‘part of her royal duty’! But when the Princess of Friendship does it, suddenly it’s inappropriate or stalking!” She said, air-quoting with her forehooves. “I, uh, just meant that Sonata and Pinkie are still in the castle,” Spike pointed out. “Oh, right…” Twilight went back to her telescope and moved it around a bit. “Nope… Don’t see them.” Twilight frowned and turned towards Sunset and Spike. “Do you think Celestia might want to get involved in this?” Sunset’s lips tugged to the left in irritation. “Is she eating cake frosting in her bedroom?” Twilight returned her eye to the telescope. “Well… there are cans of cake frosting around her bed, now... One just disapeared under the covers where it looks like Celestia is still, um, hiding.” “Then, ‘no’,” Sunset answered, “I can assure you Celestia is quite done with today.” Sunset sighed. “Alright then… I guess it’s game face time.” Sunset looked at Twilight. “Look… I’m sorry this spun out of control and I want to fix this, but…” Twilight smiled. “Need some help?” “With a psychotic siren and a very Pinkie Pinkie Pie loose in a world I haven’t been to in a few years?” Sunset sighed. “Yeah… I think at least one powerful alicorn princess would be helpful.” Twilight nodded. “Alright, Sunset. Let’s go get our friends!” Sunset offered Twilight a small grin and nodded. With a glow of their horns, both girls disappeared with a ‘pomff!’ Spike’s forehead tightened. “No that’s fine,” he grumbled as he turned to the observation deck’s entrance. “I’ll just walk back. Noooo problem at all, girls…” he added sarcastically. “Is… is Mr. Shouty still throwing things at us?” Sonata Dusk inquired as she hid her face and little else from behind an empty suit of Equestrian Guard armor. Pinkie Pie peeked her head out from behind a suit of armor that somehow completely hid her body from sight despite its emptiness. “Well… He stopped throwing things at us.” One of Pinkie’s ears twitched and she giggled as at perked up. “Oh! I can still hear him.” “Is he saying he wants to forgive us and offer us lots of yummy food?” Sonata asked hopefully. Pinkie cringed. “Not unless you count him cooking you and then me having to eat cooked you until I explode… I don’t want him to cook you or explode!” “Huh…” Sonata uttered. “I saw something like that on the internet once…” Sonata giggled. “That was a good day.” “Uh…” Pinkie offered Sonata a nervous smile. “Well, now that we’ve had something to eat, we really should get back to researching that history report.” Sonata sighed. “Do we have to?” she whined. “… It’s kind of the entire reason we’re here?” Pinkie reminded. “Oh, yeah,” Sonata replied. “Hey, maybe that orange pony in the armor that’s pointing a spear at us can help?” “What?” Pinkie turned and let out a startled “Eep!” as she took note of an orange pegasus stallion wearing gold armor with a blue plume pointing a spear at her and Sonata’s general direction. “Hey, what are you two doing here?!” The pony called out in an authoritative tone. “Ah!” Sonata returned her head back to behind the empty suit of armor. “I’m too young to go to prison!” Pinkie swallowed. “Uh… Hello Mr. Guard, sir… We’re just trying to do some research on Equestria history and, erm… ended up in this hallway here?” Without taking his eyes off either the siren or pony, the guard pointed behind himself with a wing. “And this somehow required breaking into here through a window while fleeing raining cutlery?” Pinkie giggled nervously. “Well… You know what they say, 'The Road to success is not straight! There's a curve called 'going through a portal to another dimension', a loop called 'turning into a pony and giant flying sea monster on the other side', speed bumps called 'your other dimensional versions of your friends seemed kinda upset when that happened', caution lights called 'an angry chief throwing sharp things at you', and flats called 'escaping through a closed window'!” The guardspony cocked an eyebrow. "I am fairly certain that nopony has said that ever." "But, I—" The guard held up a forehoof. "Except for right then when you just said that to me." Pinkie pursed her lips into a pout. "Oh... He's good!" Sonata quipped as she peeked out from behind her armor. The guard shot her a glance and Sonata let out an "Eep!" and hid her face once more. "Nope! Totally hidden! You can't see me!" The guard shook his head. “Look, I’m not sure why some sort of flying sea monster and an Element Bearer are here in the castle, but shouldn’t you two go to the library if you need to do research?” “Libraries are boring!” Sonata cried. “Uh,” Pinkie smiled at the guard. “We were hoping to find someone who could tell us about Equestria’s history.” “And you thought you’d find someone at the castle?” The guard thought for a moment. “Well, I suppose Princess Celestia might be willing to help if she has the time.” Sonata popped her head up again. “Ooh, a princess! What does she look like?” “Uh… she has a white coat, wings, horn, is really tall and has a long mane of flowing, shimmering hair?” “Oh, you mean Tallest Horse!” Sonata replied. “Yeah, we saw her already! She gave us cookies and then walked off somewhere.” “Uh…” The guard pony’s face tightened in confusion. “I’m not sure what to do with that information.” He shook his head. “But you two really shouldn’t just be wandering the ha—” The pony was suddenly cut off by a door that was slammed open before transforming into dozens of terrified winged frogs that croaked out things like “er”, “wise”, and “miller” as they flew off. Discord’s head emerged from the doorway, his annoyed, inquisitive eyes framed by a pair of thick, horn-rimmed glasses. “Alright! What’s with the lack of racket out here!” he demanded. “I could barely concentrate with all the kitchen noise and then the broken glass, but now that it’s stopped I can’t get a single word out.” He slapped the side of his head causing a small cascade of numbers and mathematical symbols to fall out. “See!” He sighed heavily. “I’ll never get my letter to Fluttershy done at this rate!” Pinkie let out a startled “Ah!” and was behind the guard in a flash. The guardspony glanced behind himself quizzically. “What the heck is that?!” Pinkie exclaimed as she leveled a forehoof at Discord. Facing the opposite direction of Discord, Sonata let out a startled cry and placed her head back behind the armor. “If I can’t see them, they can’t see me! If I can’t see them, they can’t see me! If I can’t see them, they can’t see me!” she began to chant quietly to herself over and over again. “Wow, rude!” Discord replied as he scowled at Pinkie from behind his glasses. “I can say the same thing about you miss pony who often defies all known laws of physics and magic!” Discord stroked his beard a few times. “... A thought occurs that I probably should say the same about you and that worries even me, a bit.” “That’s Discord,” the guardspony answered Pinkie. “You’ve met him, as I understand and also turned him into stone?” Pinkie’s brow furrowed and her sky blue eyes drifted upwards as if she was searching her eyelids for something. “I think I’d remember all that.” The guardspony frowned. “Maybe it’s not my pace to say, but I am moderately concerned the fate of the planet often rests partially on your shoulders.” Pinkie giggled. “Oh, not mine!” she stated. “See… I’m a different Pinkie from another dimension!” “... You know, this is all starting to sound way above my paygrade.” Pinkie squinted at the guard. “Say… You look familiar in a weird, horsey kind of way… Do you play guitar in another dimension?” “... How would I possibly know that?” “Oh, right…” Pinkie grinned. “You wouldn’t happen to have a crush on Twilight, would you?” The guard’s cheeks flushed slightly. “P-princess Twilight Sparkle? Well… I mean… She is goodlooking… and like… The smartest pony in Equestria... so... uh....” Pinkie gasped. “Oh my gosh! Flash?! Flash Sentry?!” “Uh… yeah?” Flash replied. Pinkie’s face lit up. “Wow! You’re a real sentry! Your name makes oodles more sense now!” “O-okay…?” “Are you two going to keep this inane chatter up all day?” Discord asked. He smiled slightly. “Because it would be very helpful if you could, but maybe do me a favor and start knocking down these suits of armor while you yell your conversation at each other across the giant hall.” “No! One of these is my hiding spot!” Sonata cried. “If you knock it down, everypony will see me!” "Who said that?!" Discord exclaimed as he began craning his head left, right, up, down, behind, under, and even around. “... Uh, Sonata?” Pinkie said. “Everypony can mostly see you already!” Pinkie looked at Discord in confusion. "Mostly..." she repeated. “What?!" Sonata exclaimed. "Do ponies have x-ray vision!? No fair!” “No?” Flash said. “But you’re like… three times the size of that armor.” “Are you calling me fat?!” Sonata exclaimed. “Uh, no…?” Flash said. “I mean… I don’t know how big sea monsters are supposed to be though.” Sonata began to let out a few sad sobs. Pinkie tossed a glare at Flash. “You know… I’m starting to figure out why you’re single.” “Hey!” Flash protested. “I mean… Okay… I am, but it’s not like I walk around telling ponies they’re fat.” Sonata’s sad, restrained sobs suddenly turned into a prolonged wail. “WhouaaaaaaaaHouaaaaaaaHouaaaaaaa!” Pinkie wordlessly glowered at Flash. “But… but… I didn’t mean…” Flash let out a sigh and slumped his shoulders. Finally locating the source of the voice, Discord pointed at Sonata. “Maybe get that blurry, blue thing to help make noise. She seems good at it.” Sonata’s head suddenly shot up. “Hey! Takes one to know one!” She turned to see she was arguing with some sort of blue fog. “Oh…” “Hah!” Discord said victoriously. A cleaning shammy suddenly appeared out of thin air and rubbed over the haze, restoring Discord to his usual, or rather, unusual distinct self. “Your move, you blue blob!” Sonata suddenly let out a gasp. “Uncle Dissy!” “Uncle Dissy?” Pinkie and Flash said simultaneously as they exchanged glances. Discord stared at Sonata through his glasses. “Hold, on. I can’t see anything with my glasses!” Discord carefully took the glasses off his face with his lion’s paw and eagle talon, then quickly pressed claws against the lenses, shattering them. He put the glasses back on his face. “Much better!” His eyes went wide as a smile spread across his face. “Sonata Dusk, as I live and… oh… what is that thing organic creatures do to oxygenate their red blood cells?” Flash raised an eyebrow. “Breathe?” “Yes! That’s it!” Discord exclaimed as he took in a large breath and then let it out. “Oh, that never gets old!” He held his arms open wide. “Come her, Sonata! Give your uncle a big hug with your flipper legs!” Letting out a giddy squee of delight, Sonata careened through the air into Discord’s waiting arms before the two wrapped appendages around each other and shared an embrace. “Awwww,” Pinkie uttered. “Still not sure who or what that is, but isn’t that adorable?” Flash regarded what he was seeing with a fright-filled look. “Somehow I feel like someone is tapdancing on everypony’s graves all at once…” Aria squinted as she rocked her head one way then the other. She pointed a forehoof. “Okay so, uh… Which ones were you again?” A series of groans escaped the two lines of ponies. “Oh my gosh!” A Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she hovered in the air above her line of friends. She motioned down with her forelegs. “We’re the ponies from Equestria.” She motioned to the other set of ponies. “They’re the ponies from earth! How is this hard?!” she barked, throwing her hooves into the air. Standing next to Aria, Adagio rolled her eyes. “Just the part where we have two sets of ponies who look exactly the same!” She shook her head. “I mean, even if you have trouble telling your friends apart, you all seem most interested in talking to your other selves, not that I can blame you, so as long as you’re not stupid enough to mistake a mirror for the other one of yourselves, you’re good.” Standing in front of a full-length mirror with a gold trim, Pinkie turned and sneered at Adagio. “Thanks a lot, dream wrecker.” Equestria’s Rainbow Dash seemed to consider this for a moment. “I guess it could get confusing if we try to talk to the other dimension uses that aren’t exactly uses. Should we get nametags or something?” “Hey, yeah!” earth’s Rainbow Dash agreed. The other ponies present once again became a chorus of groans. “What?” the Rainbow Dash’s asked in unison. “Rainbow, dear...? Or Rainbows, dears, I suppose I should say...” Equestria’s Rarity piped up. “Each pair has the same name.” “Oh… hehe…” Rainbow replied with a sheepish grin as she rubbed the back of her head. “Fine then,” Adagio piped up. “Name tags that also state which of you is an Equestrian pony and which ones are Earth ponies.” Equestria’s Applejack raised a forehoof. “Ah object to that on account of me actually being an earth pony. Ah mean, that’s a bit insensitive.” Applejack turned. “Right, Pinkie?” Pinkie didn’t respond as she was too busy looking sadly at her reflection of a full-length mirror. She morosely pressed a forehoof against her foreleg and began to sing. “Sooooooomewhere out there beneath the bright sun Someone's thinking of me and loving me a bunch...” “Oh, for goodness sake, Pinkie,” Rarity interjected. “You haven’t even met the other you!” “Well, no…” Pinkie admitted, turning slightly to glance at Rarity before glancing back at her reflection. “But I’ve met me! And I love me, so…” Equestria's Applejack continued, "Ah just think we need to make a distinction between earth ponies and the ponies from earth. Is that too much to ask." "Huh..." Adagio said. "Never would have pegged the the redneck pony to be the most PC of the bunch." Aria pursed her lips and consider this. "Hey!" Earth's Applejack protested. Equestria's Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Ah don't know what that means, but Ah'm pretty sure Ah should be offended right now." Aria leaned over to Adagio. "She dosen't look PC to me... More console..." She snickered. "Like one Atari sitting in a tv cabinet under an ancient TV." Adagio's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?" "Hey, you're the one who that she was a PC gamer." "...PC means 'politically correct', you dolt!" "Oh," Aria replied. Her eyes narrowed. "Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?" Adagio threw a foreleg up in the air. "Sorry! I momentarily forgot you were a moron!" "Oh yeah?!" Aria replied. "Well...uh... YOU...! Are the one...who is a moron..." Aria frowned heavily. Adagio shook her head. "Wow. That was actully worse than Sonata." Aria grimaced. "Oh God, it's happening! Without her around the stupid needs someone to possess." Adagio frowned. "I'd point out how ridiculous that sounds, but somehow I feel that only helps prove your point." Earth’s Fluttershy broke off from her line and trotted over to her counterpart who had slowly made her way back under the table as she tossed nervously glances at the two Dazzlings. The formerly butter-colored human leaned her head down. “Erm, I’m sorry to interrupt your cowering in fear. I mean, I probably would ask to join you, but I’m really excited about this so…” Equestria’s Fluttershy mumbled out a squeaky reply. “Oh, good!” Earth’s Fluttershy said. “Well, then I was wondering what you do here in Equestria?” Fluttershy replied with more nearly inaudible mumbling. “Goodness… You get to be a flying pony and raise animals?!” She began to giddily dance in place on her four hooves. “Oh, I’m so jealous!” Meanwhile, Equestria’s Rainbow Dash hovered over to her Earth counterpart. “So, uh… is that a hard ‘no’ on making out with me?” Earth’s Applejack and Rarity let out sounds of disgust. “Ah’m gonna go back to talkin’ to, uh, myself,” Applejack declared as she trotted off. “Oh my, yes,” Rarity agreed as she turned up her nose. “At least someone else here has some grace and dignity! ” she declared as she trotted a few steps, tripped, and fell flat on her face. Both Rainbow Dash’s snickered to themselves as earth’s Rarity slowly got back up on her hooves and trotted off, scowling with puffed-out cheeks that had turned slightly pink. Earth’s Rainbow Dash turned towards the Equestrian version of herself. “Uh… Look. I mean, I get it. Believe me, if things were reversed, I’d totally be trying to play suck-face with you, but uh… I’m not really into horses.” Rainbow Dash snorted. “Not yet you aren’t!” she said with a wink. “Uh… I’m a girl, so…” Rainbow Dash paused and felt around between her back legs with a forehoof. “Yeah… Still a girl here, so how would that even—” Wry smile on her face, Rainbow Dash almost buried her muzzle in her earth counterpart’s ear and began to whisper. Earth Rainbow Dash’s cheeks began to burn crimson. “Oh…” Aria groaned. “Great… Now they all moved and I can’t tell which pony is which anymore!” Adagio tapped a forehoof against her chin as she looked over the group. “How about ‘shirts vs. skins’?” Aria raised an eyebrow. “How the heck would that even work?” she asked as she motioned towards the ponies. “They’re not even wearing clothes.” “We can shave the hair off the earth half!” Adagio suggested. Aria glanced at the ponies then towards Adagio. “Then we would have four ponies that would be hard to tell the difference between!” Aria rolled her eyes. “And you like to call yourself the smart one…” she uttered. “I want to see some skin! Don’t blow this for me!” “Adagio, they’re ponies I mean…” Aria’s face contorted in confusion. “Would that even be ‘hot’ for you?” Adagio shrugged. “We won’t know until we try it.” “What are you hoping to see?!” Aria exclaimed. She patted her chest with a forehoof. “I mean… It’s not like they have boobs right out in the open anyway…” Aria’s face tightened as she began to pat her body with her foreleg. “I mean… I think they’re low-GHA!” Aria suddenly doubled over and fell to the ground. The ponies suddenly gathered around Aria in concern, the ones from Earth half-stumbling over or wobbling in the air in the cases of the pegasi. “Goodness, are you alright?” Equestria’s Fluttershy inquired, apparently finding the courage to leave her hiding spot in the face of Aria’s potential injury. “No!” Aria exclaimed. “I jabbed myself in a crotch-boob with one of my fins!” A series of snickers rippled through most the ponies and Adagio with both Fluttershy’s simply looking on in concern. ‘Pomff!’ With a magenta flash of light followed quickly by a turquoise flash, Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer repapered. “Hey, girls,” Twilight greeted. “We figured out where earth’s Pinkie and Sonata are, so we need to—” “What the heck is going on here?!” Sunset shouted as she looked at the fallen Aria and the group of ponies surrounding her. Adagio smirked. “Aria injured herself as she felt herself up... or down, rather.” Aria grit her teeth and pointed a forehoof at Adagio. “Adagio wanted to shave the Earth ponies so she could tell everyone apart!” One of the Applejacks considered this for a moment. "Ya mean, 'ponies from earth!'" She shook her head. "See, that's why y'all should be specific." The other Applejack gave her counterpart a sour look. "That's what upsets you about the statement?!" Equestria's Applejack shrugged. "Sorry sugarcube, Ah'm not really in the race regarding y'all getting shaved..." Sunset merely glowered at both Adagio and Aria. “You two disgust me.” Adagio just shrugged. “At least we’re doing something right.”