If I Were Discord

by n


Chapter 1

The beanie’s fan turns slowly, hovering her slightly above the ground.

She stares at the other’s eyes for a while. Two of them, exactly the same, almost.

She blinked, and it blinked.

Then rain, in zigzag spirals began to dance around her. Happy tears of sadness, each of them with a different tale to tell. Each droplet was markedly different. Ponies were like that too, in ways too small to see. Why was it that when these differences were made obvious, that Papa became the enemy? Was it the change? It was just a prank. The pink pony pulled a lot of pranks. Was it chocolate rain? Chocolate rain was good. The pink pony liked it too.

Musical numbers, that was it. The pink pony had a lot of those. Maybe if she had them too, just for her papa, they would like him.

If I were Discord, she started, but couldn’t find the words for it. Strange, maybe there was more to it than the pink pony showed? She could make up words.

If I were Discord
Muffin oh Twilight...

Not that anypony would get it. Would it be a problem? She stared at the other and it stared back. Yes it would be a problem.

If I were Discord
Even just for a day

That sounded much better. Less chaotic to be sure, but the other was nodding his head along. Papa did try to include everything in on the fun, so that would be what she did too. The pink pony like fun too. It was all a game.

If I were Discord
Even just for a day
I’d be a statue in the morning

Yes, Papa was now a statue, even though he didn’t do much. What was it like being a statue? To feel the breeze and the gawks, how did it feel? And to be trapped and contained. It must be lonely. Yet...

If I were Discord
Even just for a day
I’d be a statue in the morning
And feel along the cracks in the stone
Look at some chaos
Stretch my limbs for a bit.
I’d go wherever I wanted
If fillies were causing a mess
Because they didn’t know me

That was true too. Nobody understood Discord, the sole Element of Chaos. The burden that it put upon him, and how much it tore him apart. Papa was good and kind and misunderstood. Maybe that was it too? Ponies had given up understanding the pink pony. Maybe if they gave up trying to understand Papa?

If I were Discord
I think I could understand
How it feels to be in power
I think I would be a better Discord
I’d listen to none
Because I’d know to have fun
When you take over Equestria
By taking things for granted
And the Elements play along with your game

Why was he at fault anyway? Papa had done nothing wrong. They were the ones who decided to play in his little game. He hadn’t forced them to play. No evil had been wrought. Yet because of it, everything changed.

If I were Discord
I would drink out of milk
And make a maze out of hedge
For tricking them with self-delusions
I’d put my fun first
And entertain as I go
But I’d be turned into a statue
By a pony completely obsessed
With lists

And so it was that Papa became a stone statue again. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she cried. Even he, chaotic as he was, played by the rules. Not that they did. He had given them all the clues, yet they had given him none. They were crazier too. That purple pony obsessed with lists. Only the pink pony knew. Eternal chaos came with chocolate rain. He had a good heart, and tried to make things okay.

If I were Discord
I think I could understand
How it feels to be in power
I think I would be a better Discord
I’d listen to none
Because I’d know to have fun
When you take over Equestria
By taking things for granted
And the Elements turn you back into stone

Stone was hard and cold. It was not warm and joyful. Stone was not the welcoming fuzzy self that Papa was. It was sharp and unpleasant. Stone did not know how to have fun. It was cruel and unforgiving. Stone was true evil.

It’s a little too late
For you to come back
Say it was all in good jest?
Think they’d forgive you like that
If you thought they would realize how to have fun
You thought wrong

This one was for Papa. A goodbye of sorts, since it was unlikely that he would be freed again. It was also the lament, for if only they had bothered to realize, he could’ve been still alive. You’d think that since they were so friendly to all sorts of different ponies, that when Papa reared his head around, they would accept him too.

But you’re the Discord
And you do understand
How it feels to be in power
Someday you know you’ll have another chance
You don’t listen to none
And you know that it hurts
When you take over Equestria
And the fools turn you back into stone

Papa, she missed Papa so much. They, who felt so justified in their conquest, had not realized what they had done. They had torn a daughter from a father. Someday Papa would be free again. Because it hurt so much, heart throbbing like it would break out of the fragile, organic prison. She itched to tear it out and break it, because pain like that was unbearable.

So she sang the odes to her dad, for she had nothing else. While other fillies were outside happily celebrating with their families, she hovered alone.

She stared at the other, and it stared back.

It too had the eyes of loneliness, and deep within those eyes, the same pain of neglect.