The Knight Princess

by MiniHorse


Nightmare

She could not think of another time when she felt so strong and confident as she did tonight. The moon was full and bright, and crisp cool air filled her lungs. She took strong brisk steps down the stone path towards the square where her chariot awaited. She gave approving glances to the pair of pegasi that were pulling her ride tonight. She towered over the two ponies, and they subsequently made themselves even smaller in her presence.

They called this night “Nightmare Night.” It was a vulgar holiday that, from what she heard, revolved around the riotous consumption of sweets and some unfortunate superstitions about Nightmare Moon. She would not have chosen this night to do this if she had the choice. However, this was one of the few nights of the year where ponies actually stayed out past sunset. It was important that she do this while she still felt confident.

Tonight, she was travelling to a place called Ponyville. Her sister told her that if she really wanted to make friends, that would be the best place to start.

She stepped into her chariot and ordered her ponies to take off. They whinnied eagerly and promptly pulled her into the night sky.

It was a wonderful night. She had picked a perfect way to travel. She felt so free up here in the sky. Since a chariot was pulling her, she had the freedom to pour all of her attention on the stars. How ironic, she thought, that this night was associated with nightmares.

Long before this night had ever happened, she had to live through a nightmare. It was terrible and humiliating, but necessary, she realized now. The Elements’ restoration had forced her to grow into a princess all over again. Painful as it might have been, it blessed her with something truly memorable. Indeed, it would do well for other ponies to remember the consequences of vanity and childishness. It was why she was up here, carving her own personal destiny with a bird’s eye view of Equestria, and not face-deep in a pillow of secret feelings.

&&

She despised being idle. Now she realized that she was idler than anypony. It was uncivil to lash out in frustration, however, so instead of doing that she just grinded her hoof into the floor. The smooth white tile was slick and shiny, squeaking piteously underhoof. The audience chamber was very lonely at this hour, especially when Luna was sitting in it. She would kick out all of the guards whenever she took her residence here.

Her station was one that desperately needed upholding, so she spent more and more nights standing at the ready if urgency ever came while her sister was spent. But in truth, she never actually stood anywhere. She always lay in repose upon the dais, surrounded by a fortress of books. Even while she had a constant link to the plights of her subjects as long as she was available, nopony ever came to see her.

Instead, she was stuck here reading the same old words she was always reading. Old Chretien’s tale was at her hooves again tonight. For the first time, its familiarity disturbed her. She felt locked in a place in time that should have been long past.

Everypony had a purpose, a something that made her special. She was a princess. She had much more value to her kingdom than simply dotting the night with stars, did she not? Her sister certainly did. Her sister’s cutie mark could have been a number of things besides the sun. A heart, a staff, a sword, a wall. What could hers be? A book? If all she did was read, she might as well have just tossed her crown and became a librarian.

She never wanted to think about it. She was afraid of those feelings that made her do the things she did so long ago. Her sister deserved her love, and she wanted her to keep loving her. But that love did not always feel so warm. Living in the sun’s shadow for most of her life had turned warmth into a luxury.

So many tiresome thoughts, she told herself. Grudgingly, she swung her eyes back to her old romance, trying to make the verses banish her worries. The end of the tale was drawing near. Sir Lancetrot had finally triumphed over every test—the beast on the broken bridge, the riddler behind the rocks, and the temptress with the warm fireplace. He had proven the strength of his love and sneaked into Lady Guinemare’s bedroom, where at long last they realized the full extent of their love under night’s sweet blanket. It was a beautiful conclusion, as always. Romantic endings were always her favorite because of how personal they were. If this were an epic, then there would be rejoicing throughout the kingdom. Here, however, closure went only to the mare, the colt, and the night that hid it all. It was truly complete.

The old thoughts came rushing back as she closed the book. This should not have surprised her, she realized. But while memories of that sweet, sweet ending still swirled in her imagination, something sparked. It was an idea. An absolutely insane idea. It was an idea she would have self-consciously snuffed out if she had created it any time before then. She stared blankly at the book at her hooves. Crazy things always popped into her imagination, sheltered as she often was. She knew better than to take all those things seriously.

But she despised idleness, she remembered. Now, she had lost track of the number of times she remembered this fact.

She glanced around herself at the stacks of books surrounding her. She had trapped herself in a flimsy little castle, dense tomes of science and theory rising over her head. Did these books not begin as simply insane ideas? She suddenly rose up, knocking over several stacks in the process, and proceeded to walk towards the exit without even a thought given to the mess she made.

When she stood in the audience room the next night, she knew what she had to do. First, she had to wait.

The doors across from her creaked open, letting in one finely-dressed pony. She walked a great distance down the regal red carpet. Her posture was ever-proper, even with the bags under her eyes no-doubt weighing her down. She bowed. “You called me, milady?”

Luna hoped that this advisor was still capable of advising. She opened her mouth let out her royal gusto in full force. “We have certain questions about the social customs of ponies.”

The advisor was nearly knocked off her hooves. She landed back on all fours, looking like she had cold water poured on her. “V-Very well. Ask away.”

“We have…a friend. She is very lonely. She desireth…a lover.”

“Oh?” The advisor looked surprised.

“Yes. She came to us for aid, but…we are afraid we do not know how lovers court in this modern age.”

“Well…does this friend of yours live in Canterlot?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I can think of quite a number of places where the finest colts in Canterlot congregate. The derby, the museum, the square gardens, the opera house….”

“Specifically, we wish to know how…one may actually…initiate the relationship.”

“Oh, well…courting is a complicated business, your Highness. In my experience, however, it all starts simply by talking to the colt you are interested in.”

“Talking?” She placed a ponderous hoof under her chin. “But…what wouldst thou say?”

“ ‘Hello, how are you!’ and the like. You have to start a relationship with him, become his friend. Then when you’re friends…well, you just have to wait and see if that romantic longing ever appears. Between both ponies, of course.” The advisor sighed. “I hope that is a good enough explanation.”

“That sounds…awfully casual.”

“Well, I and many others believe that true love should not be restricted by laws and regulations. Arranged marriages are very rare these days.”

“Fascinating.” She really meant that. It certainly explained how Shining Armor was able to get engaged to a princess. In the old days, something like that would have had her parents crying out for blood. “And yet…we do not think our friend has the time to frequent all of those places thou hast mentioned. Is there not a way to…bring all of Canterlot’s stallions in one place?”

“That is well within your power, milady. You could host a ball. That would attract many prospective colts.”

“Then it is settled! We shall host a ball and invite every gentlecolt in Canterlot! Make it so!”

“Um.” The advisor was thoroughly ruffled up under the force of the Royal Canterlot Voice. “When would you like to have the ball?”

“Three nights from now.”

“V-Very well, Princess.”

The advisor turned around and started fixing up her mane while she made for the doors. Luna in the meantime was playing out all of the scenarios in her imagination. She had hosted a number of gatherings prior to this, although never for the reason she was doing it now. She recalled with fondness the galas of old, the bards singing, the lyres ringing, and all of the food that got passed around. Yet she was always the one who stood off looking regal while her subjects alternated between bowing and dancing. Now, she would have to take a more active role than she was used to.

The ballroom rumbled with voices. The strings quintet carried a relaxing melody. She looked all around and saw a great many gentlecolts idling. There was some nervousness in her hooves that night. Regardless, she puffed out her chest and strode into the midst.

She came up behind one and tapped him on the back. “Greetings!”

Her voice nearly blew the colt over. Recovering himself, he turned around and bowed. “Ah, milady! It is an honor.”

“Tell us how thou art.”

He shirked back a little bit. “Well….” He rubbed one of his ears, as if it were sore. “Fine! Yes, positively capital!”

“So art thou a lover?”

“Excuse me?”

“Dost thou have a romantic interest?”

“Uhh….” The colt turned red with embarrassment.

She responded with a suspicious look. “Dost thou not know?”

“I mean—“ His eyes darted around himself desperately. “I’m sorry. I’m just…flustered because I…promised to dance with my sister right this very minute!”

He bowed curtly and dashed out of sight. She sighed. He was a fine-looking colt, and now she had no idea where he was. No, she told herself. That pony ran off rudely just because she asked him a simple question. Doubtless there were better in this crowd.

The more she talked to these colts, however, the more she began to see a pattern of failure. Her royal gusto seemed to do more to bowl ponies over than to allure them. Her conversations were awfully brief. She assumed that by asking tons of questions, she would learn more about these colts and subsequently know enough to be their friends. Yet what normally happened was that she would talk, and they would endlessly kiss her hooves.

She was bewildered. She was asking the same kinds of things that her sister would ask ponies whenever she talked to them. When her sister did it, ponies looked up at her with genuine pleasure. Here, they might have been smiling, but she could plainly see that they were uncomfortable.

She turned away from another unsuccessful encounter, trying her best to keep her head from falling in shame. Of course, she wasn’t trying to be exactly like her sister tonight. Her sister had never been in a romantic relationship. She had told Luna this herself. Her sister simply couldn’t imagine herself as being anything other than a mother-figure to all her “little ponies.” So that romantic closure, that sweet satisfaction that came under cover of night between a male and a female—Luna believed that she could have it. Love was in the night’s realm, and the night was in hers. It made sense.

It might have been inane and childish, but what was the harming in trying? Is that not what ponies do when they grow up? Try to find the thing that sets them apart from everypony else?

“Luna?”

She couldn’t forget that voice. When she turned to look beside her, she saw Shining Armor looking up at her. She had not seen those eyes in a long time. They were so much brighter than she remembered. He was no doubt getting much better sleep these days. He was strikingly well-dressed to boot. She was so used to seeing him in his chest plate that she was surprised at how sophisticated he looked in a black tuxedo.

“Shining Armor,” she greeted. “This is a pleasant surprise!”

“Yeah…” He reached behind his head, smiling the way he did whenever she used to point out his petty mistakes. “I probably should be up in the keeps, but my guards insisted I take off the rest of the evening. They think I’m going to die from stress or something.”

“Ah. So thou hast been busy?”

“Well, security has been as uninteresting as always. It’s actually been the wedding that’s been keeping me up at night.”

“Is it now?”

“It really has. Like, for example, we’re trying to agree on a place to get married. Cadence is torn between a beach wedding and getting married on her parents’ estate. And I was hoping for a wedding in the park or someplace like that. And to complicate things, Princess Celestia really wants us to have the wedding in the castle, but, ahh…I don’t know. Seems like too much of a spectacle, if you ask me.”

“How is Cadence?”

“She’s fine. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring her with me. She’s been called back to her estate to deal with some issues.” He sighed. “It’ll be a couple weeks before I get to see her again.”

“That is most unfortunate.”

“Yeah….”

There was an awkward silence between the two. She had had a great deal of those that night. Then she realized who she was standing in front of, and her heart gave a sheepish tug. Surely she could say more to the pony who had been her constant companion for most of her new life. But she couldn’t. The words froze deep in her chest.

Shining Armor’s eyes drifted away from hers. Immediately, her hoof darted out and grabbed his chin. She forced him to meet eyes with her again.

Why in the world did she do that?

“Princess?” he muttered. “Are you okay?”

She withdrew her grasp as fast as she could. She could feel herself trembling. It was a disturbing sensation. It wasn’t helped when he kept staring at her. Those eyes that used to guard her in the night were filled with sincere concern.

A new fancy jolted into her thoughts at that moment. It was just as insane as the one that inspired this ball.

She made a serious look. “No, Shining Armor. We are not well…. We believe we may need thy aid.”

His expression took a dark turn. He bowed his head, only slightly so as not to make a scene. “I am at your command.”

His loyalty awed her. He was just like Sir Lancetrot. She shook off her silly imaginings, however. “Follow.”

Curious eyes from everypony watched her exit the ballroom. It was a rude thing to do to simply leave her own ball, but she did not care one bit. She led Shining Armor up to her apartment. Of course, there was still more to their journey even though they were as far as her parlor. She approached the door of her bedchamber and realized he was no longer following her. She looked behind her and saw him staring back at her in uncertainty.

“Please, Shining Armor.”

He followed once more.

She whisked open the bedroom door. She strolled to her bed and leaped upon it, twisting herself around so that she was lying facing where he now stood. She magicked the door shut behind him.

“Now,” she spoke, “we are in need of thy protection once again.”

“Have you received threats, your Highness?”

“We…certainly do feel threatened. We realize that this may seem sudden. We promise that thy time in our service will be much shorter.”

He didn’t say anything. His eyes were quivering nervously. She could feel herself quivering as well. Unacceptable.

“Come, Shining Armor!” she blurted harshly. “Kneel before thy princess.”

He snapped back to attention and trotted to the foot of her bed. He shifted his weight to his forelegs and bowed down in servility.

She got a mischievous idea. She squirmed backwards, all the way back to the bed’s headboard. “We cannot see thee kneeling, Shining Armor.”

His head rose slowly over the edge of her bed. With some hesitation, he placed one hoof and then another upon the sheets and pulled himself upon it. She rose up on her haunches as he continued his walk towards her. He bowed with his head just a foot from her hooves.

“Now….” She bowed her own head, letting her horn hover over his prostrated shoulder. “Dost thou swear to stay by our side for as long as we will it?”

“I swear.”

“Dost thou swear to keep our all our secrets hidden, including the bond that we forge tonight?”

“I swear.”

“And dost thou swear to be our loyal and obedient servant?”

“I swear.”

She tapped her horn once on his shoulder. She raised her head once more and looked down upon the colt, greatly pleased. “Now rise.”

Shining Armor’s legs began to draw back beneath himself while his neck sought its former posture. But before he could stand once more, she rushed into him with forelegs opened wide. She tackled him to the bed. She had him tight in her embrace.

Their faces were the closest together that they had ever been. His jaw was hanging limply, breaths coming unsteadily. His eyes were wide and full of shock. Regardless, she had the pleasure of being this close to eyes like those. Her sister most certainly never felt this before. Those eyes were hers to swim in when she so desired.

Before now, she had never once thought about fulfilling that romantic vision within her own life. Now, she was feeling nearly every piece of it falling into place. A long struggle. A series of decisions. The cover of night, and that unattainable, forbidden love. It all made sense now. Guinemare was right here in her arms. And, as everypony who knew the story knew, Guinemare was married.

“Now,” she whispered. “Talk to us.”

She could not carve true love with bluntness, as she had learned the hard way at the ball. It would require caution, words and gestures that were like needles. So while this strong little unicorn was tight within her grasp, nothing more intimate than mere words was shared.

Loyal Shining Armor abided by his oaths. She no longer forced herself to sit in that audience chamber and wait for ponies to need her. Now, it was similar to older times, with her spending much of her time in her apartments or in the library. Yet she now had this beautiful colt at her side. A colt to hug, to pet, and to cultivate love from.

She taught him a thing or two about the poetry she indulged in. They read some of it out loud together. She did not keep him far from her. Either he was close by and watching her, or he was close enough beside her for her to explore his coat with her hoof.

The only thing of his that he had not surrendered was his heart. But she was confident that it would fall into her hooves eventually. There had never been ill will between them at any point before, and despite the shy glances he cast whenever she touched his face, the warmth in his eyes never vanished. Indeed, there were a number of things that made her think that things were going her way.

There was the time he watched her raise the night. It was the first time he had seen it since many months ago. In that time, her magic had grown back to much of its former glory. The lights that flew from her horn shocked even her. The night sky was sharp and lucid, like the edges of the crescent moon.

The first thing he said was, “You know, I’ve never seen more beautiful nights in all of my life up until this year.”

To that, she replied, “This is how nights are meant to be.” At that point, she stretched out her wing and wrapped it around her guardian. They watched the night in sweet silence.

She often kept her wing over him when he was next to her. One time, she was in her apartments on a stormy night, lying in front of her fireplace. She was unusually tired that evening. She couldn’t focus on her book. Instead, she laid her neck on the floor and stared dreamily into the flames. Then she felt a jolt up her spine. He was petting her. She had thought about raising her head and seeing what kind of look was on his face, but she decided against it. Perhaps he was only comfortable showing that kind of affection while he thought she was asleep.

She wondered when she might have more moments like those. Their renewed union was very much like their old one. She gave him petty chores, and he complied with them. She chided him for his mistakes, and he found ways to be witty. And of course, there was quite a bit of talking. They were very familiar conversations.

“So thou hast been doing well with the young recruits?”

“Yeah, surprisingly,” he replied.

“We do trust thee to make those colts trustworthy.”

He nodded.

Luna had one hoof pinned to the spine of her book and another one stroking Shining Armor’s leg beneath the table they shared. It was a familiar location—just the two of them in the library. These days, however, she was fine with him sitting in front of her at this close of a distance.

“Dost thou have any favorites?” she asked.

He chuckled. “They’re all equally terrible, at the moment.”

“We find that hard to believe.”

“Well, it’s true.”

She looked up from her book. He was watching her as always, with those eyes that never seemed to lack devotion. They never changed in all her time with him. Yet it concerned her to see those genuine eyes match with the rest of his features. His lips were drawn in, and his chin was struck slightly forward. He looked strained. But it was not a strain out of any sort of pain. No, she saw it as a strain to maintain normalcy. She noticed this whenever she stroked him like she was right then. But those eyes of his couldn’t lie. She stared into them, searching once again for the truth of things. Was he afraid to show his true reaction? Was he embarrassed?

“Are you okay, Princess?”

Her gaze flickered—it fled to his chin, but darted back to his eyes just as quickly. “We are as well as we have ever been.”

She could never search his eyes without being asked if she was well. He asked her that quite often. It spoke true to the pony behind the always-concerned eyes. Yet she had heard that question for far too many nights. Why was he outwardly trying to reject what his heart had put into his eyes, she wondered.

She had to know when she could embrace him for real.

“Princess?”

She spun around with a polite smile, away from her sky and right into the eyes of her guardian. “Yes?”

His hooves made cautious clops against the tiling on the balcony. He stepped into the starlight and breathed deeply. “Princess Celestia has asked me to personally lead the guards who will be escorting her to Manehattan for the Summer Sun Celebration. This means, of course, that I will have to leave Canterlot as soon as the sun sets to make it for the sunrise. So….”

“Thou hast come to ask permission to go?”

“Uh.” He looked taken aback at her suggestion. “Well…yes, basically.”

She didn’t respond immediately. She planned on granting his request, of course. She would not dare interfere with any oaths he had made to her sister. But it did take her by surprise, and irritated her. For that, she decided to let silence linger between them. He needed to know the weight of his decision.

“Thou mayest go, Shining Armor,” she said at last. “But please return to our side when thou art able.”

He nodded. “Of course, your Highness. Shall I, ah, find you a replacement bodyguard?”

She waved him off. “Do not worry thyself. We shall take care of that.”

“Very well. Stay safe, Princess.”

He did not come to her three nights later. That didn’t bother her: she too had left Canterlot. She stood all alone atop one of Manehattan’s tall buildings. This city did not exist yet before she was banished. It was an impressive expanse of urban sprawl, very different from the cities of old. The only significant distraction to the city’s architecture was the huge park in the city’s center that spread out right below her. It was here that the Summer Sun Celebration was set to take place.

It was not often that so many ponies would congregate when the sky was still dark. Of course, it was all in anticipation for the sunrise. They would all be looking to the sky, waiting for her sister to work her miracles.

She looked down into the park. She could see vast crowds of ponies in the lawns open to the sky. She wondered where Shining Armor might be. No doubt he was at her sister’s side. As to where her sister was, she could only guess. Regardless, she had an audience, and she would show them something they could not ignore even if they wanted to.

Her head was held high. Magic climbed to the tip of her horn and flashed. The stars blinked, as if awed, but they returned with a newfound brilliance. Now there was a full moon’s glow beside the shadow of the new moon. A radiance that one could marvel at without the fear losing one’s eyesight, she thought with pride.

She swung her horn forward. Immediately, a shooting star flew overhead. She swung her horn again multiple times, and with each swing another shooting star streaked across the sky. She made her last swing and finally looked up. Each heavenly object passed over the moon’s dark sphere, following one behind the other, lighting up the surface for fleeting moments. She smiled at this spectacle. Not every night sky could have this kind of activity. Manehattan was very lucky.

All the sudden, a brilliant white flash yanked her eyes down to the park. She could hear gasps echoing even where she now stood. The lawn where crowds had been standing before had now cleared to make way for the towering pony whose body was now engulfed in a golden white light.

How could she forget her sister’s brilliance?

She could see her so clearly even from this distance. Her horn was pointed to the ground, but it slowly rose skyward. The night sky began to brighten. The stars faded. The moon’s dark circle became painted over with a misty morning blue. Finally, the first orange beams crept over the horizon. Slowly, the circle of the sun climbed. At long last, her sister’s horn reached its peak, and the sun sat whole and unchallenged in the sky. And just like that all of her hard work had been burned away.

She heard cheers and applauds from the park. Like herself, her sister usually set herself apart from other ponies when she performed her duties. For all of these little ponies, they were witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. They would likely remember it forever. Luna fell upon her stomach, lifting her wing over her face. The morning sun was in her eyes.

She found her beloved sister sitting in a personal pavilion set up in the park. Luna made sure to sneak around the celebrating ponies. It was almost noon, and they were still playing as much as they had been that morning. She crept up beside her sister, but her sister turned and saw her before she was close to the pavilion.

“Luna!” she chirped. “I was wondering when you’d come say hello.”

She smiled back at her. The guards that flanked the pavilion bowed their heads as she joined her sister under the shade. She rubbed her face against her neck affectionately and met her eyes. “How came thou to expect me?”

“Well, that display last night couldn’t have happened on its own, could it?”

She grinned. “Did it please everypony?”

“I thought it was simply wonderful. And there were a lot of ponies pointing at the sky.”

She looked past her sister for a moment. There were five guardsponies surrounding the pavilion. Their stony gazes darted carefully between the crowds beyond and the princess they watched over.

“Where is Shining Armor?”

“He was here until about a half hour ago. I let him run off with Cadence.”

“She’s here?”

“She doesn’t live far from Manehattan.” She laughed in her sweet tone. “She came for the celebration and ended up finding her fiancé as a bonus.”

“Oh….”

“Luna?”

She saw the seriousness on her sister’s expression. A part of her trembled. “Yes, sister?”

“I know that you’ve made him your bodyguard again.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Did he—?”

“No, he did not say a word, which concerns me even more.”

She was not sure how to respond.

“He works as hard as anypony I’ve ever known,” her sister continued. “He doesn’t need to be kept up all night in your service, especially when he’s getting ready to start a family.”

Luna looked away for a moment. “I am not making him jump over mountains,” she muttered petulantly. “I let him sleep when he needs to.”

“Do you really still feel insecure after a year?”

She looked to her sister, outrage creeping into her features. “What?”

“Nopony is conspiring to get rid of you, Luna. I know the guards were a little intimidating. If they still are, I’m sorry. But I assure you, everypony respects you. Whatever you might have done in past, you are as safe in Canterlot as I am. Besides,” she spared a confident smirk, “if anyone did want to hurt you, they would have to go through me, first of all.”

Luna lowered her gaze in embarrassment. “I did not plan on keeping him long.” She angled her eyes up at her with irritation. “Canst thou not see how quickly I have grown since the last Summer Sun?”

“Of course I do.” Her sister flashed a hurt look. No doubt her sister was hurt, Luna thought bitterly. Hurt by her unwillingness to simply assume that her bright and shiny big sister never meant ill toward anypony. “If you plan on releasing him,” she continued, “please consider doing it soon. There are plenty of other good ponies you can have at your back. I don’t want you keeping him away from my niece.”

That was never her intention, she wanted to say. She always planned on releasing him when Cadence returned from her estate. All that she wanted was to feel that romantic sensation, just once. Cadence could keep him forever; he belonged to her. Luna just wanted to see if something like that was possible for herself. It was unfortunate that she couldn’t think of any other colt that she could do it with.

Luna remained with her sister, standing beside her in the shade. This was yet another moment to spend with her that she had been deprived of in recent days. She was truly blessed to have Celestia as her sister. Being in her presence again after many weeks of keeping to herself made her realize the obvious all over again. If not for her words with her, she still might have believed she had something to fear from her sister. She still might have believed that she had to prove herself superior somehow. She still might have believed that claiming Shining Armor’s heart would have done it. But, no. She had been illuminated.

She let her head hang. What a blessing!

But she had come so far. She had to at least finish what she started. If Shining Armor would not wear his heart on his collar, then she would have to force it out. They would have one final night to themselves.

Shining Armor reported to her, as he always did, while she was standing in the middle of her parlor, her insides trembling while thinking about what she planned to do. He came to her hooves and bowed. While he was on his knees, she called up her magic and made the both of them wink out of existence.

In another instant, they reappeared in a vast, empty field. Shining Armor jerked awkwardly out of his bow and looked around him. She hoped he liked what he saw. She could think of no other place as beautiful under a night sky. And she had made the night sky just as lovely as it had been the night before Summer Sun.

“Shining,” she spoke finally.

He yanked himself towards her. His concerned eyes glimmered in the starlight.

For a moment, Luna forgot what she was going to say. She quietly cursed herself, but she did not let silence reign. “How was thy trip to Manehattan?” she quipped in a forced, cheerful tone.

“Uh…. Successful, by all accounts.” His hooves tittered at the ground nervously. “No problems that I know of. I even got to partake in a couple of the festivities.”

“That is…wonderful….”

That was all she had.

“What did you do?” asked Shining Armor.

“Oh, us? Much the same things we always do.”

What a horrible thing she had done, she thought. She had done everything in her power to make this night perfect. Her heartstrings were taut with hope, even when she knew what she was chasing was only temporary. It was unbelievable. She truly felt that she had something to lose if he rejected her. It shamed her into silence.

No, she told herself. This silence was only making her insides churn. She could not waste Shining Armor’s time any longer after putting him through so much. She came here with full intentions of finishing this. She mentally girded herself and stepped into the unicorn, breaking the silence with the sound of shuffling grass.

“Shining Armor,” she whispered. “Surely thou knowest that we have much affection for thee.”

Now grass shuffled beneath his hooves. “I’ve…suspected that for a while now, actually.”

He stood his ground even while she moved her muzzle close to his. His eyes were shaking nervously. In her the pit of her own stomach she could feel a similar tremble. Her mouth opened and moved towards his.

At the last moment he jerked back, breathing heavily.

Luna withdrew her neck as well. As she was straightening her posture back to what it was a moment ago, she was shocked at how quickly his rejection had come. They had made such simple body movements, and yet they carried enormous implications. This shock was yet another layer of the swirl of emotions that had now bubbled to her thoughts’ forefront. She looked at Shining Armor, right into those eyes that she knew would not watch her any longer. All of the sweetness that she associated with them was gone, replaced with terror. His mouth hung open slightly. His expression was full of…disgust.

“Thou dost not need to fear,” she muttered in a harsh tone. “We do not simply lash out at rejection.”

He gave his head a rehabilitating shake and took a deep breath. “Princess…I’m sorry I can’t be as obedient as you wanted me to be. But…this kind of affection is…wrong.”

“Thou didst not object to the other touches I gave thee. Thou evenst touched us!”

“And I’m ashamed.”

“But thou still did it!” She stamped her hoof like a child would, voice rising with emotion. “Art thou saying thou led us to believe thou had affections when thou knew it would lead to this?”

“I—I guess I did!” He sounded desperate now. “But it wasn’t out of spite!”

“What else could motivate such deceit, such…treason!”

She immediately regretted that last word. The glint in his eyes were like nothing she had ever seen before. They were fear beyond reckoning. He looked ready to scram at any moment.

“No! Please, calm thyself, Shining!” She tried to get him to stop shaking. It didn’t work. It irritated her. She shouted, “Calm thyself!” She stomped her hooves in frustration, cursing her anger. She had tried to prepare for this unraveling, and she was failing horribly.

“All right.” She finally heard a clear tone out of the colt. He shifted a little bit and cleared his throat. “Basically, I was afraid of you. That night you made me come up to your room and swear loyalty to you…I was thinking somehow I was being involved in some dark plot. I’m sorry, but…you were Nightmare Moon at one point. It certainly seemed suspicious, with the whole ‘keep our secrets’ deal. I’ll admit, though…there was a lot more confusion as it all went forward. It didn’t seem so much a sinister plot as it was…a cry for help. I couldn’t possibly understand what was happening. I’m sorry if I don’t, but that’s what it seemed like to me. And I felt like I had to see it through. To help however I could.”

This was his heart, she realized. She was staring at him, awe causing her anger to cool. This was the care she had always seen in him. For the longest time, she had only seen it in his watchfulness. Now, he had revealed it with his own word.

“You know,” Shining Armor continued, “Princess Celestia always asked about you while I was guarding you, back when you had just arrived. She really wanted me to keep being with you. I guess she thought you needed some kind of companion. I didn’t have a problem with that. As tiresome as it could be, I actually really enjoyed our time together.” He smiled distantly. “You were just like my little sister, always an egghead, always so sure of yourself. I’d never let her be unhappy if I could do anything about it.”

A great sinking feeling hit her stomach. All kinds of bitter sensations welled up in her. Salt being poured into ancient wounds. It wasn’t enough for him to show her his heart. He had to go and explain it as well.

She was his little sister.

“I am sincerely sorry that thou hast been put through this,” she muttered. “Leave us. You need not attend us any longer.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“With all due respect…you’ve put me through enough distress to warrant more explanation than that, your Highness.”

“This is not about thee.”

“It absolutely is!” He stepped forward. Luna actually doubled when she heard him raise his voice at her. “What if Cadence had found out about this?” he yelled. “That would have ruined me! I was walking on glass this entire time for your sake!”

Luna grounded her hooves, her features contorting gravely. “We never planned on taking thee away from her!” she snarled. “We were going to release thee before then!”

“Then what was the point of this?”

Luna had breathed in enough air to yell a thunderstorm into submission. But when she realized what he asked her, the words froze in her throat. Her hooves trembled in shame. No…. She could never admit to the vanity that made her do this. Not she, a princess of the highest esteem, to this…trembling peasant!

Shining Armor used her silence to take a long, calming breath. “Please, Princess,” he said. “Just tell me what drove you to do this.”

“Hush!” her mighty voice roared, thunder clashing right on its heels. “I am not thy little sister, dost thou understand?”

More thunder punctuated her venomous rebuke. Shining Armor’s hairs were thoroughly rustled now. But he still had a brave face on him. The concern in his eyes never went away.

She didn’t want them anywhere near her.

“There is nothing thou needest to know, because there is nothing thou canst do,” she said calmly now. “We know our errors. Whatever thou intendest to say, we already know.”

“How do you know that?”

She didn’t. But she was certain that she knew enough. “We know because we want thee gone. Surely thou hast enough loyalty to obey that command.”

He stepped back a couple of feet, and light began to surround his horn. “As you command.”

He vanished in a flash of light.

Luna’s legs gave. She lay there on the grass, her head angled to the one thing she had left—her night. It was a wonder that she didn’t feel any tears. Her heart shuddered with a host of horrible things. She had charged into her foolishness regardless of her doubts and thusly paid the price.

Why couldn’t just watching the stars satisfy her insecurities, she wondered. They were beautiful, and they were all hers. Her sister could never make a night like this. Of course, there really was no other pony besides herself that could really appreciate it. But still, it was better than some fantasy feeling steeped in banal poetry.

“Goodness!” She forced herself a bitter laugh. “He really is like Lancetrot!”

In Chretien’s old tale, Lancetrot found himself trapped between the oaths he made to a temptress and the affection he had for Guinemare. It was most certainly the most difficult trial he had up to that point. It seemed that he had no hope of surviving without sacrificing his honor in one way or another. To accept the temptress’s offer to share a night would have compromised his dedication to his quest, but to reject her offer would have been the same as spitting on her hospitality. In the end, he was spared from either decision. The temptress let him go, saying that she had only been testing his honor for Guinemare’s sake.

Luna’s face plummeted into the grass. If Shining Armor was Lancetrot…. Then she was the temptress. The filthy, scheming, nameless temptress. She wiggled her head in the dirt in as if trying to fend off some loathsome bug. It was so obvious, and yet this entire time she felt like she was a heroine.

Feeling and knowing were just two conflicting ideas, it seemed. And she had just told her sister how much she had grown, too.

She did not raise her head up again. She lay there in the field, hoping that the sun would rise and maybe fill her with warmth.