//------------------------------// // Xavier Breakthrough Project, Day 9: Forgiveness // Story: Days in the Mind of One that is Great and Powerful // by The REAL Mister Pkmn //------------------------------// The next morning after school, Trixie was talking with her friends about something. She was addressing Tyra. “So, what you’re saying is that you’re feeling something weird coming on?” Nodding, Tyra responded. “I’ve got this urge to do… certain things… and I don’t know why. It couldn’t be … heat, could it?” An unamused voice spoke up. “That’s exactly what it is, unfortunately.” They turned to see Maestro with a serious look on his face, Sarah at his side with a new trinket around her neck. Was she embarrassed? “Don’t worry, the effects can be curbed. Take this.” He tossed to each of them copies the same trinket that was around Sarah’s neck. At their confused look, he explained. “Think of it like a firewall. That enchanted necklace will completely suppress the effects of heat. You won’t even notice that you’re experiencing it. Just put it around your neck, and it takes effect immediately.” After all of them did so, a collective sigh of relief went out. Trixie though, raised an eyebrow. “So what’s the deal with Sarah? Why’s she so red?” This comment only caused her to get further embarrassed, but Maestro comforted her as he sighed. “Last night, we officially became a couple. Though, I gave her the same suppressing necklace once she started acting a bit odd. Had I waited…” He shook his head. “I’d rather not think about that. Besides, I’m not that kind of guy.” He turned to Sarah and smiled as she calmed down. Pondering for a bit, Rae spoke up. “What about your half-brother? What’s going to happen now?” Turning his attention to the others, Maestro replied. “Honestly, I don’t know. We may have him on our side, but... “ He sighed, shaking his head. “It guarantees nothing. After all, he may have known where Equestria's Starlight was located, but even if she doesn’t relocate, we won’t be ready to face her yet. We’d need an ace up our sleeve to even consider going up against her right now…” He trailed off as he thought about their options. As he was about to wander into deep thought, Ayumi brought Twilight and the others. “Hey guys! How are all of you doing?” After the varied positive responses given by the girls, she turned to Maestro, and broke his concentration with a question. “So, Maestro, about your idea for Xavier’s lesson today… What exactly did you mean by forgiveness?” Snapping out of deep concentration, Maestro had a flat look on his face as he turned his attention to Ayumi. He brushed off her interruption, and sighed. “It’s obvious, really. He needs to forgive himself for the limited damage he did cause to the city. However, I know from experience that Xavier doesn’t forgive himself very easily. He knows that what he did was wrong- that’s why he ran off. We need to help him forgive himself. That’s why all of us are necessary for this.” He looked towards Alex, and glared at her. “Especially you. After all, you need to make up for exploding in his face. You must remember - He may be deluded, but he’s felt alone for all of his life, outside of the friendship that we used to have. He has no family to speak of- not anywhere.” Maestro then paused, as he tried to reign in his anger. “That doesn’t excuse his blowing up at two people who were trying to help him.” She replied crossly. Alex’s response was not a smart move, seeing as Maestro looked at her with a deadly look. “Listen up, you.” Everyone stared as Maestro shot a venomous gaze at Alex. “I know that him doing that wasn’t the best thing in the world, but he felt that Star’s help was shallow, and non-understanding, insufficient and weak. I know that you can’t see it, what with your clouded vision, but I see his struggle. I know that somewhere deep inside of him there is somebody yearning for help- But only through understanding can we offer that help. We must be the better people, and set the example. If we cannot bring ourselves to forgive him, how can we hope of helping him forgive himself?” Maestro was visibly restraining his anger at this point, as his colors threatened to darken again. He took a deep breath, and cooled his temper the best he could. “Listen… If you can’t bring yourself to believe in him, then we might as well give up now. I know that sounds odd, coming from me, of all people, but… The more people we have on our side, the better the chance we stand. So tell me. Will you help us? Can you bring yourself to see past your anger at what he’s done, and see the potential he has? I wait for your answer.” Once his betraying of his thoughts was through, Maestro’s colors stopped fluctuating as they returned to normal, a sign that he’d calmed down again. After hearing Maestro’s tirade, Alex felt ashamed. Here was somebody that had been hurt by how his friend was acting, and yet found it in himself to look past it. She sighed, and looked to Maestro. “I’m sorry that I blew up like that. It’s just… I’ll give it a shot, I suppose. It’s the most that I can promise.” Nodding his head in resignation, Maestro replied. “That’ll have to do.” He jerked his head in the direction of the park. “C’mon, we’re burning daylight.” The group then sauntered off. When everyone met at the park that day, they saw Xavier with a dark look on his face. He spoke bitterly, a harsh edge to his voice. “So. You’re still going at this, then?” He scoffed. “Don’t bother. I don’t deserve your forgiveness after what I’ve done. I especially don’t deserve forgiveness from myself.” He then turned his back to the group as he glared into the distance. “No matter what you say, it won’t change the facts. Save yourselves the trouble. I’ll even call of the deal. All you have to do is just walk away, and spend your time where it’s needed.” Maestro stepped forward, a stern and determined look on his face. He would not let things end here. He refused to let the chance for change to die. “I offered you this to see you change. I have come too far, and gone to too much effort to back off now. I will not give up on you now, old friend.” Silence reigned for a solid minute before Xavier responded, shaking his head as he turned back to face Maestro. “You never really change, do you? Always were stubborn.” He sighed. “Fine. Continue then, since you think it prudent. It won’t get you anywhere.” He gestured to the group. “Let’s get this farce over with already. Who’s first?” Maestro stepped back, signaling he wanted to go later. Feeling a pretty confident, Micaela decided to try first. “From what Maestro said about you earlier, you find it hard to forgive yourself, and from what you said earlier, I can imply you find it hard to accept forgiveness from others. I can tell you that not forgiving yourself will only lead to holding yourself back. It distracts from your goals, as you wallow in self-depreciation. I may not seem like I could tell you this with any experience, but that’s where you’d be wrong. I once let my ego end up hurting my friends, and it took me a while to even realize it, and longer still to forgive myself. Though once I did, I felt lighter than before, as the weight of it all abated. You may think it right to hate or despise yourself, but it only hurts you and those that care about you in the end.” Entertaining the idea for a split second, Xavier soon dismissed it. “Who is there to hurt? Why should what I think of myself have any bearing on anyone else? How I feel about what I’ve done is my personal business, and the thought that it affects others is ludicrous. So what if how hard I am with myself holds me back? Maybe that is for the better, considering the damage I’m capable of…” Seeing that Micaela’s message seemed to not resonate with Xavier for long, Ashley took the next shot.  “Ya need ta forgive yerself, first of all. Without forgiving yourself and let go of the past, you will be eaten alive by bitterness and anger.  Ya want to walk down that path, sugarcube? Y’know, there’s always two paths in front o’ ya in all yer journeys. One path leads to sadness, bitterness, and no inner peace.  The other leads to ultimate forgiveness and true friendship among friends. We hope ya choose what’s best f’r you. And, only you can make that choice. As mah Granny always says, “Ya c’n lead a pony to a cider trough, but ya cannot make them drink.” Blinking for a bit at Ashley’s attempt, Xavier shook his head near immediately. “I’ve been bitter for years. What’s a little more? I’m used to it by now. As for anger… So what? Anger towards myself is nothing new. I’ve traveled this path before. It is familiar, like the one friend I can trust aside from myself. So what if I wind up alone? It should not concern you, nor anyone else.” Unable to stand how harsh and cruel Xavier was being with himself any longer, Flora pushed back her fear and addressed him. “Stop this! Why do you feel a need to punish yourself so harshly? We want to help you put this behind you, to help you see that you should be kinder to yourself. We know you did something that you’re not proud of, and that you recognize that it was wrong, but the way to handle it is not by being cruel to yourself! You must instead resolve to not do something like it again, and understand that there is a valuable lesson in letting yourself be forgiven.” Understanding what Flora was getting at, but refusing to apply it, seeing as he didn’t believe he deserved it, Xavier refused to even give her a response. A little irritated at how Xavier completely ignored Flora’s advice, Rarity tried something a little different. “I understand that you feel attacked, Xavier. You don’t want to change what you’re used to. You feel comfortable with how things are, and you’re fighting to keep it that way. Is change really such a horrible thing? Is adjusting to a changed situation really all that difficult for you? You want to believe that the world cannot change, so you refuse to change either. But the world has changed, and I believe it’s high time that you did the same.” For a moment, Xavier paused. He knew what they were trying to do. He refused to believe that the world had changed- that much she’d gotten right. But her folly was with trying to convince him that it had changed. That was nonsense. This world would ever be the same, and he knew it. Deep down, they knew it too. He just had to get them to realize it. “So you say that this world has changed? What proof is there? After all, not one of the evils of the world have died- so how can you say that the world has changed?” He shook his head. “You’re deluding yourself, refusing to admit that the world hasn’t changed, nor will anything we or anyone else does change that. It’s just plain fact.” Disappointed in how his spite of society was distorting his perception of things, Pinkie decided to try and bring some cheer. “Hey now, there’s no need to think like that! The circumstances you found yourself in may not have been the best, but what’s important is to see the good in yourself. You can learn from your mistake, and do better! Filling your days with a dour attitude won’t get you far. If you just take a new angle to look at things, you can even surprise yourself!” Rolling his eyes at the notion, he just shook his head. The very idea of a new angle! What other angle was there that was practical? Certainly not ignoring the ill of the world all together, for only fools did that. Was she suggesting to try to take the supposed “good” with the bad? He refused to even entertain such a notion. Knowing that her friends had done their best warmed Twilight’s heart as she attempted to reason with Xavier. “So far you have dismissed us out of hand, or otherwise derided us, but some part of you is listening, I can tell. Everyone recognizes deep down that they need forgiveness- you just have it buried further down than most. I urge you to take a moment to search inside of yourself, to find that part of yourself that knows that what we’ve said so far has merit. You’ll feel better afterward, I’m certain.” Initially dismissing her entirely, Xavier was about to say how wrong she was. However, something stopped him. This needling, uncomfortable feeling that was worming form the inside. He pushed it down. No! She wasn’t right, none of them were! He refused to accept their empty nonsense! Seeing that Xavier was still being stubborn, Tyra decided to step up to the plate. “You might feel that holding this weight over yourself is necessary, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I know that you think that you don’t deserve forgiveness from anyone, but in order to move on and be happy again, you must let go of the mistakes that you’ve made, lest they drag you to an early end. Lifting this weight from off of yourself is key to a long, happy life.” At this, Xavier couldn’t help but roll his eyes. How was that different from what the others had said before? What was the point? Personal happiness had nothing to do with the larger picture, and was therefore useless. Irritated at Xavier’s continued disregard of their efforts thus far, Rae let him have a piece of her mind. “You know, you’re really a piece of work, ya know that? I know that you think that all this is pointless, but we’re doing this because we want to help! I don’t know exactly why you want to stew in self-despite and loathing, but let me tell you, it’s getting old. Why are you fighting so much? Why do you continue to try and ignore what resonates? In my opinion, you’d best start being more honest with yourself, and what it is that you want, or you’ll find yourself high and dry.” Chuckling out of a strange relief at the frankness of Rae, Xavier shook his head. So this was how it all went down, huh? Some prattle about being “more honest with himself”? What nonsense. Though…. He shook his head to rid himself of the stray thought. He was more honest with himself than others, that was for sure. After all, at least he was sure of what he believed, unlike the liars of the world. Deciding to take a gentler approach than her compatriot, Diana relayed her thoughts. “Xavier, I know that you’ve changed before, hence why you’re the way you are right now. But why did you give in to pressure from the world to change? How long exactly, did it take to give up who you once were? Months? A Year? More? I know that change to anywhere close to who you once were seems impossible, but stranger things have happened. I’m not asking you to do a complete heel turn on the spot- after all that’s not going to happen. I just want you to try being your old self again. Who knows? It might make it easier to forgive yourself.” Pausing to mull over that, Xavier tried thinking of anything wrong with her logic. Certainly there was something wrong, he just didn’t know what. That needling feeling came back, but he shoved it back down. Then the whispers came from that stone… Yes, there was something wrong with listening to this prattle. It was messing with his head! He shook his head, trying to clear it. He would not be dragged down into that trap again! He was stronger than that! Realizing that Xavier still needed more of a push, Carmen did her best to bring a different perspective to the situation. “Listen, I know it’s hard for you to adjust yourself. To move on from the mistake you made. But you don’t have to go it alone! We can help you acclimate. I know you don’t want our help, nor do you want it, but if you give us the chance, we could really help you out.” A raised eyebrow was the only response Xavier gave for a solid minute. A stray thought played in his mind for a split second, but he dismissed it just as fast. He didn’t need help. He didn’t want help. He was fine just the way he was, and nothing could convince him otherwise. Taking a moment to expul the negative air, Cheryl decided to step up next. “Alright, you. Listen up! Because class is in session! You have consistently ignored our advice, and I get it, I really do. You just want things to stay the same, to prove to yourself that nothing will change, that everything will always be the way they are now. Well let me tell you, just because the world is not such an ideal place all the time doesn’t mean that you have to be a mirror for that! Reflecting the worst of the world will only make things worse, don ‘t you see? What has your current attitude gotten you? I know that having a positive outlook may seem hard, and I know the world isn’t ‘sunshine and rainbows’, but just because that’s the case doesn’t mean you have to keep emulating the cloud! Why not look at what lining there is around it? You may surprise yourself at the good you’ll find there.” Chuckling ruefully, Xavier shook his head as he clenched his hands. She was suggesting he look at the ‘silver lining’? Didn’t she think that he’d tried that ages ago? Did none of them understand that he was the way he was because he’d tried all of this nonsense before? Because none of it had worked in the past, so it was sure as heck not going to work this time. Taking the opportunity presented to her, Trixie reached out to Xavier. “You know, I know how you feel to an extent, Xavier. Before I got friends, I wasn’t exactly a nice person. I gibed and tormented many, and only recently have I tried making amends. I know it’s not the same as what you’ve done, but for the longest time I felt like I was unworthy to forgive myself until I’d proven that I’d changed. But with a little support, I’ve moved on, and so can you. You may think that you’re the scum of the earth, that there is no redeeming yourself, but that’s far from the truth. Just let us help you see it!” Noticing her hand out stretching towards him, Xavier felt a strange compulsion to reach out. However, he reasoned that all this was to lower his guard. Instead of clasping her hand, he pushed it away. It’d be a hot day in Cocytus before he would accept friendship! He had to resist with all his soul! Seeing as Xavier was yet again pushing aside their efforts, Bethany steeled herself for what was sure to come. “So you still don’t want to accept our help, huh? Listen, I know why you don’t want it. You think we’re going to use you, like many people have in the past. You think that when times get though that we’ll abandon you like pretty much everyone has up to this point in your experience. I know it’s not going to mean much, that you’ll probably dismiss it outright, but I just want to say… we won’t leave you hanging. No matter how long it takes for you to come around, no matter how many times you brush us aside, we’ll reach out, like we should’ve been doing from the start. We’ll stand by you, no matter what, and help you feel that you deserve forgiveness from everyone, including yourself.” Rolling his eyes, Xavier scoffed audibly. Loyalty? That's what was being promised, but nobody ever delivered. There was only treachery in this world, so when you outlived your usefulness in other's eyes, they would leave you high and dry. That was just how the world worked. They thought that they could change his mind? He shook his head. If that was the case, then they truly were fools. Taking note of what had happened so far, Kim took opportunity to try her hand at reasoning with Xavier. “You are prideful and stubborn, that is for sure. For you reason that everyone is unjust and impure. Know you not what they say of broad strokes? That it leads to misjudging of all types of folks? Turn aside from this unwise line of thought! And to a new way of seeing things allow yourself to be brought. For forgiveness brings freedom, and lightness of soul; while lounging in guilt will chain and restrain you from attaining your goal.” For a sparse moment, Xavier considered what it was she was saying.  Was he being too harsh? No, that was absurd! He clenched his hands as he cleared that thought from his head. They may believe that there was good in everyone, but he didn’t know if he could ever accept that. He’d seen too much proof in favor of what he thought to ever consider abandoning it. Pushing aside the negativity in the air, Valerie spoke calmly. “I see that you’re having a bit of trouble letting go of what, in your eyes, has been confirmed as undeniable for years now. You’ve seen it all over the place, and this has caused you to extrapolate the sample size of a small group of people to cover everyone in the world. Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair? Pushing judgement on the world for the sake of what? Ten people? Twenty? I could understand if it was a significantly larger number of people, but you have blinded yourself to the larger sample sizes. Don’t you think that you should withdraw judgement until after interacting with a larger group of people?” Unfair? Unfair? She had the unmitigated gall to call him unfair? Xavier shook his head. If he was being unfair, it was only because the world was unfair. After all, he, being the only sensible person alive, emulated the way the world was, unlike these idiots. Such was the way one succeeded in life- not by deluding yourself that the world was something it wasn’t, but accepting it the way it was, and emulating it. Trying to correct the error from the last interaction she had with Xavier, Patricia spoke from her heart, instead of her head. “You keep pushing us away, and you’ll continue to do so, I suspect. I know that you don’t exactly respect any of us, let alone me. Especially with how… upset I got when plans went awry last time. I just want to say that I want to show you my sincerity- just like my colleagues do. I’ll try and be patient with you, but you haven’t exactly made that easy so far. But since Maestro won’t give up on you, neither will we.” Blinking for a moment to digest all that, Xavier eventually realized what it was she was getting at. She was essentially promising to be just as stubborn as Maestro? He harrumphed in agitation as he rolled his eyes. He didn’t need an army of Maestroes, thanks. Considering the situation, Amanda nodded her head as she went with her gut. “Most of us here have some experience with what you’re going through- at least I believe so. We want to help alleviate your burden, but you keep resisting our help. It’s understandable why, but it’s only going to hurt you in the end. I know that others have told you similarly, but it’s a point that must be stressed. Push aside the weight on yourself by letting us bear it with you.” None of this was helping so far, at least as far as Xavier understood. He just shook his head for his response, and he refused to even try stringing together a proper reply. Stabilizing her storming thoughts on all of this, Janice took charge as she tried to reach out to Xavier. “All of us may not know you as well as my half-brother does, but I understand that you’re frustrated, that you want to blame your problems on some part of yourself that you cannot change, nor control. But, I’m here to tell you that your “destined” conclusion is incorrect. You do have control over your life. You aren’t a passenger- but a player. I know that this shakes what you’ve accepted thus far, but you must understand the power you have. Forthwith, I charge you to really take a look at what you can do- what choices you have. I think you’ll have more success if you look at things this way.” Destiny? Controllable? Such a thought tried to worm its way into his head, but Xavier couldn’t accept it. No. This was nonsense! Nobody had a choice- Or did they? He shook his head. This was ridiculous! Was he actually considering listening to them? He shook off the uncanny thought as best he could, but it was a stubborn thing to be sure. Frustrated at how stubborn Xavier had been thus far, Ayumi decided to drop a bombshell. “I may not know you personally, but I know what you’ve been through believe it or not. My counterpart, Twilight, once became Nightmare Nova, a monster of darkness and rage. I myself can still turn into Nova if I draw to much from my memories.” Suddenly Ayumi’s voice changed as her whole body started to glow. “As Nova, my mind is consumed by that rage, and all I can do is destroy everything in front of me, and I did, but I still was forgiven and I forgave myself. But I never forgot what I did, who I killed.” A tear slid down Ayumi’s cheek at those words. “If I could fall so far and still rise again to be who I am today, then one such as you who never even badly harmed anyone can do the same.” Ayumi’s body stopped glowing and her voice changed back “You heard my counterpart, and you know in you true heart that she is right. So forgive yourself, as you weren’t even the worst we’ve faced since the change.” For a long period, Xavier was stunned to silence. Here was somebody that had done something far worse than he’d ever done in his entire life. If she could by some miracle be forgiven, and forgive herself, then… Maybe all of them had been sincere, and really wanted to help. Maybe… They were all right to some degree? And yet, some part of him refused to let go. That perfectionist inside, that refused to allow forgiveness of the smallest infraction. Still, Xavier, for the first time, actually acknowledged that some part of him wanted to forgive himself- despite how small that portion was. He still could not manage a vocal response, so he remained silent. Alex sighed as she hopped down, grew to human size and looked him in the eyes.  She took a deep breath and said, “As far as I know I’m the only one who has a taste of what you have gone through.  Three years of betrayal, sorrow, anger, terror and dashed hopes is nothing compared to a lifetime of that. But you endured all of that- and without a family to fall back on and help you through the times, the weight might have crushed you soul.  But it didn’t, and you’re stronger for it. If you still don’t have family, then as of this moment you do as the Viator family will welcome you into it. That is, if you want to. Anyhow, I cannot forgive you until you forgive yourself. But I will apologize; I’m sorry.” After that she walked up to a pegasus anthro that looked like Daring Do who hugged her and sat down. Ashley smiled at Alex, “Ah’m proud o’ ya, sugarcube!  That took a lot of courage t’ admit you were wrong, and that’s the honest truth!” Looking down at the gloves on his hands, Xavier paused. A family… He’d always resented the parents that he never knew. Maybe that was part of his problem. He’d always presumed that they just couldn’t be bothered with him. That they saw the magic he had, and cast him out, a freak. He pondered something as he looked to Alex. She was an odd one, offering something like that, what was essentially an adoption into her family. He didn’t know if he could accept something like that. Here was some kid offering to make him what? Her older brother? He shook his head. This whole thing was burdensome. She had even apologized for what she’d done earlier. Could he forgive her? Could he forgive himself? He didn’t know the answer. He was lost, for the first time in what felt like a very long time. Seeing that some progress was starting to be made, Star tried again to relate to him. “I know that you said before that my experience was of no consequence, that I can’t understand, because I essentially gave up after one friend left. I won’t deny that what I’ve experienced pales in comparison to what you’ve gone through. But, I believe that what I can sympathize with has some merit. I’ve hurt others, something that I’m still trying to forgive myself for. I still don’t feel like I completely deserve the forgiveness I’ve been given, but I strive to prove to myself that I do deserve it. It may take a while to convince yourself, but the first step is saying that you do deserve forgiveness.” He had to convince himself? Xavier had to admit that was something that he struggled with. After all, he still held onto many of the infractions of his youth. He still couldn’t convince all of himself that it was time to let the past die. He would try, he supposed, but he knew not how much longer it would take him. His silence continued as he puzzled over how to go about doing that. Feeling that now was the best time to put in input, Sunset spoke on the matter. “Lost? Confused? Don’t worry, we can ease you through this. It doesn’t have to be scary or hard to adjust. I myself have fought the pulls of my own dark side, and have come off stronger for it. You don’t have to be alone. Facing your inner demons is hard, I understand that. But you don’t have to face them alone.” Taking a moment to consider things, Xavier debated with himself. He was being offered something that he’d refused many times before. Help with fighting his inner demons? Should he… But a voice emanated from the artifact that he always carried around. Just what do you think that you’re doing? Blinking for a moment, Xavier paused. Did he just hear the amulet talk? Sure, he’d heard whispers from it before, but never in a distinct voice. He shook his head. Maybe he’d just been hearing things... Alex’s ears twitched as she heard an indistinct voice come from Xavier’s direction.  She stared intently at the human, trying to locate the the voice. Taking a while to debate himself on how to best approach this, Gearbox eventually reached a decision. “I see you’re debating yourself. Part of you wants our help, and you realize that now. But part of you still wants to fight. It’s not easy fighting against your tendencies. It’s not easy changing yourself for the better. But by persisting, you’ll find it well worth it.” Fighting himself? Xavier was unsure exactly what that meant, but he was somewhat willing to- Stop this. Do not ignore me! Okay, now Xavier was sure that he had heard something from the amulet. Had it just spoken directly into his mind? After all, he couldn’t discern how else it could happen, seeing as the sound seemed to bypass his ears all together. He pulled out the amulet again. It was glowing. How should he handle this? He’d kept this for some time. Maybe he could reason with this entity, who ever it was? He shook his head. He didn’t even know how to approach such a monumental task. He decided to tackle this later, but kept the amulet out, just in case. Alex’s eyes widened at the sight of the glowing amulet.  Suspecting something and started to say something but Daring Do tapped her shoulder and shook her head.  She nodded to Daring and kept her mouth shut. For now. While Ayumi placed a hand on her back, showing Alex that she had heard as well and she didn’t like what she was hearing. Excited at the prospect that this time something might actually stick, unlike other efforts before, Servo decided to help out. “Guilt for one’s actions, while good to learn from, and improve oneself, should not be held onto forever. It is hard to let go of guilt, all of us know that. Even if you don’t do it for yourself, others forgiving you, and you accepting it can really help out the process quite a bit.” Accepting the forgiveness of others… Xavier recalled that Trixie said that had helped her, though he’d not caught it at the time. If he could bring himself to… The amulet lit up again as its voice echoed in his mind. Xavier. Listen to me. I am your only friend. I am your destiny. I am the Amulet of Spirits. Toss aside the lies of the mortals. Embrace the call of the spirits. You need no forgiveness. You are destined for greatness. Push them away again. You know I’m right. Attempting something bold, Xavier sent his thoughts into the amulet… or tried to. Why should I listen to you? Have you ever considered that you could be wrong? I have a chance to let go of something, a part of me that I now realize has been weighing me down. I think that I want to change… The amulet pulsated, and responded. Wrong? I, who are you? We are the same, in a sense. However, I will… humor you for now. If you wish to entertain the idea of change, I won’t stop you… yet. I am your future. If you wish to try and deny that, go ahead. It won’t get you anywhere. Pray, Xavier. Pray that I will be lenient when you accept that I’m right. That You were right. Xavier then heard another spectral voice speak up, Listen to your heart young one.  Do not let any but it influence your decision. Blinking in surprise, Xavier processed what this second voice had said. Listen to my heart… He didn’t know why it sounded like Alex was speaking in his head, but he decided not to split hairs about it. Approaching with vigor at the sight of progress, Brianna spoke up. “I know that it can be hard to change, to prove to people that you can, or have changed. Even once you’ve gone down this path to rebuild your image, there is a chance that you will run into people that will find it hard to believe that you could change. But, should this happen, you shouldn’t let it discourage you. You should take heart, and show them the new person you’ve become.” Considering how things were, Xavier realized that the possibility of him encountering those who’d wronged him in the past or that he’d pushed aside was far more likely than he’d ever bothered thinking about. This advice from Brianna was a little odd, considering the lesson, but Xavier found that it gave him pause. He also noticed that the amulet didn’t light up. It seemed that the “Amulet of Spirits” was keeping its word, at least for now. Judging his move carefully so as to not cause a setback, Chessmaster put forward his thoughts on the matter. “It’s painful to let go of the wrongs you’ve done, sometimes. I still want to say that… I’m sorry for anthrofying you against your will. At the time, I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. Part of me wanted to see if I could somehow prove I was still useful to Equestria’s Starlight, but another was just frustrated and angry at the fact that I’d been used. I know that it probably doesn’t mean much, but… It’s not entirely your fault that you destroyed part of the city. You may have had cognizance, but Sombra’s soul had a bit of influence, too. I feel responsible for your state of mind at that moment, so I want to make it up to you somehow. That is, if you’ll let me.” For a long moment, Xavier regarded Chessmaster. Here was the person that offered him the anthrofication. Part of him was pretty angry at him- furious, even. He’s the reason I went crazy! And he dares ask forgiveness, and offers to help bear the burden of blame? If so, let him bear it all! It’s his fault! His Fault! HIS FAAAUULLT! He slapped himself to cut himself out of it. His eyes widened. That voice… When it tried mixing with his thoughts, he realized that he’d somehow heard it before. That was, heard it before today. There was no way though… right? How could he recall hearing this voice before today, when he was absolutely sure that today was the first time he’d heard it? And why did it push him to remove his gloves? Didn’t it understand? That was a part of himself he hated, that until recently, he thought he could control without covering his hands. So why did this voice want it so badly? He clutched the amulet as he tried to force himself to toss it, far, far away. Yet, for some reason, even now, he just couldn’t bring himself to. Why? Why can’t I get rid of you?!? The amulet shimmered, and seemed to chuckle. Oh, Xavier. That’s because a primal part of you knows that I am vital to your survival. You cannot get rid of me. Even back when you first found this artifact, and you tried ignoring it, you could not. You have been resilient in resisting my offer heretofore, but time is short. The day that you can no longer resist comes. After all, you couldn’t resist me imposing on your thoughts just recently. Though, that was only to make a point. No amount of “listening to your heart” will keep you from me. Yea, it will instead hasten the day that you accept that you and I are the same person. Trembling, Xavier was unsure of how to reply to that. Who even was this entity? He desperately wanted for the voice to be wrong, for this to all be hogwash- but no matter what reasoning he tried, he could not deny that something about the amulet always caused him to keep it. Whether the voice was right about why had yet to be seen, so Xavier steeled himself, and used his stubborn nature to reply. We’ll see about that. Seeing an opportunity to gain more experience with helping others, Prism chimed in. “I may not understand where you’re coming from, exactly, but I think I have something that can help you out. Evidently, from what I’ve gathered, you can’t stand imperfection in yourself. You look at your mistakes with disdain, so you hold onto it. You remind yourself constantly, and don’t let yourself forget. While you should always remember to not repeat your mistakes, remembering them to constantly punish yourself is not healthy. Letting go of your disdain and accepting that you can be better is pivotal to your ability to forgive yourself.” He’d heard something similar before, but Xavier realized that this time it seemed to stick better than before. Maybe it was because of his new-found determination to prove that voice from the amulet wrong, but no matter what the reason, he took another thought at the actions he’d committed to see if he could bring himself to let go after all this time... Finally ready to bring his thoughts to the table, Clyde opened up. “You paying attention?” At Xavier’s nod, Clyde continued. “ Good. Listen… I may not have hurt people, or done damage to someplace, but I’ve had trouble forgiving myself over some pretty stupid things I’ve done. Sure, none of it compares scale-wise, but I still feel I have something of value to add here. I was a bit of a… case… after dad’s divorce. Wasn’t exactly my usual suave self, but who could keep composure in that situation? Suffice to say, my actions, as small as they were, left an impact on some people at the time, who I’ve come to understand have long since moved away. It doesn’t help that my own lack of composure wound up landing me in a coma for some time, so I’ve no idea of how to contact those people, to make amends. Nevertheless, I will try, and I urge you to do the same. Try and find those that you’ve hurt, reach out with an olive branch, and let the healing begin.” To try and actively find those he’d wronged... Xavier knew that would indeed be a monumental undertaking, one he was unsure if it would have a foreseeable conclusion. After all, how many had he hurt or turned away thanks to the whispers of the amulet? How many more would he end up hurting  if he didn’t do something about it? These thoughts, though troubling, brought a strange sense of relief to Xavier. He was unsure at this point if he could pull off any of their advice, but… it was certainly worth a try, right? Now if only he had some kind of starting point, or some idea of how to manage all of this... The spectral voice spoke again. The “Amulet of Spirits” is both right and wrong about listening to your heart.  But it is wrong about destiny being an unchanging and written in stone. Look at young Alex.  The Viators were destined to to die out within three generations and would’ve if they just submitted to their curse.  But they chose to fight the curse the only way they could by embracing it and making a strength. Their family has endured for 12,000 years because of that.  Know this, Xavier the curse will not affect you directly. I give you one piece of wisdom, stop hiding your magic. Embrace it as it is apart of you. Alex will accept it as she is learning to control her after suffering surges for three years. Stop hiding his magic? The power of decay that he could barely keep in check on a good day? Xavier was unsure if this voice was any better than the voice of the amulet! Both wanted him to embrace this power of his, something that could not help anyone, only cause damage. He couldn't find any reason to listen to this bad advice, so he just decided to ignore it altogether. Deciding to be the penultimate voice on the situation, Sarah finally took her turn. “Forgiving yourself is near impossible when you can’t accept the full scope of who you are. You must come to terms with the fact, that while you can change what you do, you cannot change certain parts of yourself, as they are pivotal to who you are. Once you realize that, you can truly learn to let go of the things you cannot change about yourself, and try using them in a positive, constructive way.” Eyebrow raised at that oddly specific line of thought, Xavier couldn’t help but wonder if what she said had been influenced. Nevertheless, she spoke of accepting what he couldn’t change as part of the forgiveness process. He looked down to his gloved hands again. He’d only put those on again after he lost control after his encounter with Alex the first time. He’d controlled the decay magic pretty well without them for years up until that point. The question was… could he really accept that part of himself? The part he blamed so many of his problems on? Could such a power be used for something constructive, when its very nature destroyed everything it touched? He didn’t even know. So, he decided to push away the voices, the whispers. To see if he could find an answer in his heart. He hadn’t listened to it in a long time… Could he even recognize what it said? He didn’t know. However, he wasn’t getting anything, heart-speak or otherwise at the moment. He looked over to see Maestro approaching. He decided he’d try again after Maestro was done speaking. After all the others had said their piece, the time was right, and Maestro stepped forward for the final touch. He’d seen how this would go in a vision he’d tapped into earlier today. He just had to play his cards right. “I’ve been paying attention to the conversations that you’ve been having with the voice from the amulet. Most can’t tap into the telepathic channel, but I’ve been having Servo keep an eye on it. You are fighting back against this entity, and that’s good. Better than I thought to hope for. This voice however, is not native to the amulet. I’ve discerned that the dark magic of Sombra, instead of fully dispersing, latched onto the Amulet of Spirits, and is trying to trick you. Worry not. I know how hard it is, to break away from the cacophony of lies that can worm their way inside your mind. You need support, and that what I’m- we’re- here to offer. But also, Xavier… I’d like to ask your forgiveness once more. For what happened back then… I still regret it, even if I’ve moved past it, mostly. I don’t feel I can truly let go unless I know that you can bring yourself to forgive me for abandoning you back then. Please, Xavier. Let me know that I’m in your good books again.” Pausing to take all of it in, Xavier tried to reply. “Maestro, I… I for- I for- for…” His breathing got shallow as the amulet started to glow, and the glow turned a sick shade of purple. “F-for…” Xavier was finding it harder to keep his thoughts straight. His left hand moved on its own, bringing the amulet closer. The amulet’s glow grew harsh as the voice became audible to all in the vicinity. So you think you can rid him of me? Do you not know the reason he was not subdued when he was anthrofied into my form? He and I are quite similar, and that is not to be denied. You may have purged me once from him, but that was a fluke. I have seen his future. He is meant to be me once more, and this time, permanently. The winds picked up, as most of the group was pushed back. However, Maestro was unmoved. He lit his horn. “Listen to me, Xavier! Focus on my voice! Don’t listen to him! You aren’t meant to be Sombra! There is one you have more in common with! Take a look at the amulet! Is its mark Sombra’s? I think not! It is the mark of the one you share a connection with in Equestria the most! You are not Sombra! You are who you chose to be!” Maestro went closer, and reached out his magic to the amulet, and winced at the power of the dark magic. He didn’t like doing it, but… he had no choice. He tapped into his nightmare shard, as well as his chaos shard. The pain from the dark magic was subdued a little, as Maestro tried to pull it out. Regarding Maestro for a moment, Xavier tried harder to fight the pull of Sombra’s influence. He wanted many things in life, none of which he’d ever achieve if he became Sombra again! He clenched his fist around the amulet as he focused as hard as he could. His hands took on a gray glow, and his magic tore away the prison that encased it in seconds. He’d never actively called on his magic before, but to do it now… it felt oddly liberating. He felt he was… stronger than before. He had a determined look on his face as he stepped towards Maestro. “Li-listen up, S-sombra! I-i escaped you o-once, so I-i’m sure as heck not g-gonna let you prance about in my h-head again!” His magic focused onto the amulet, though not on the physical object. Instead, he led his focus to Sombra’s presence. “One th-thing you should kn-know!” His eyes narrowed as he spoke. “Don’t try and push around Xavier Hauntus!” As he spoke, a scream could be heard coming from the amulet. Maestro’s magic pulled out a pulsating shard of dark magic, and sealed it away in a container that was teleported away. The amulet stopped glowing, and Xavier let the magic around his hands die down, and Maestro let the nightmare and chaos shards go dormant. A long silence prevailed, until Maestro spoke out. “Well that was… eventful.” He raised an eyebrow at Xavier. “Hauntus, though? Why’d you pick that one?” Looking down at his hands, Xavier had a small smile. “I… heard them. My… parents. Their spirits spoke to me through the amulet. I could barely make them out amongst the noise, but… my heart knew it was them. They said… that they wished they could have been there for me, but didn’t have the chance…” He sighed as he shook his head. “At least now I know that they didn’t abandon me out of spite. At least now… I know who I am.” He looked back to Maestro. “As for what happened in the past… consider it forgiven. After all,” Xavier smiled. “How could I keep a grudge about something childish like that after you helped me just now? Really, though… Thank you.” He looked off to the side. “While I still don’t know if I can forgive myself completely… I’m getting there. As for the lessons… I think now, I might be a bit more open to applying them. Today, a weight has been lifted. But… change doesn’t come easy for me. Regardless, I will… try.” A cheer went out among the group, as they celebrated a big step in Xavier’s progress. It was getting late, so the group bade each other farewell, and went their separate ways. The voice that spoke during the events then said, "Well done, young Hauntus.  You have opened the door to a possibly brighter future.  Now you must choose whether to go through or not. You also have to choose whether to accept Alex’s offer or pass on it.  Know that I cannot advise you any more until you choose to. Be at peace.” Then the voice was silent. As the others faded into the distance, Xavier stopped at what he heard. That voice again…. He looked over to Alex, who’d stopped for an unknown reason. He regarded her for a moment. She had magic before anthrofication. She knew what it was like. Should he take that odd offer of hers? He still was unsure. He looked down to the Amulet of Spirits, which was now cleansed of Sombra’s presence. He focused on the whispers, looking for a specific pair… If he was to take this offer, he wanted their opinion. He listened for a moment… He heard them again. It was… nice, to hear them. However, he kinda expected the advice they gave. Listen to my heart… Could I even recognize what it says? Let’s try again… He pushed out all foreign sounds, and focused. He listened for a while, uncertain of what it would even be like to “hear” his heart. For a moment, it seemed like he would get nothing… But then… It is not time. You are not ready. Patience, and you will find your answer, in time… Blinking for a moment, Xavier sighed as he walked away. Not ready? What does that even mean? He was unsure what that was about, but… He knew better than to question its advice. He walked on purposefully towards home. We cut to a plane in mid-flight, and go on-board. Sitting in a seat near the front is a young woman with tan skin. On her left side is a boy and on her right is a girl, both sleeping while leaning on either shoulder, using her long brown hair as a makeshift pillow. Said young woman doesn’t mind, however, as they are family. Said young woman sighs as she looks at an archived email from Josephus- or rather, Maestro. She’d never seen him after he’d e-mailed her about his transformation, but tomorrow was bound to change that. Who he wanted her to help though, that was still a mystery. Natalie yawned a little, and blinked her green eyes. She could worry about this tomorrow morning, when the plane landed. So, she drifted off to sleep, not noticing that a new email had popped up...