"Eat yer collard greens, Apple Bloom," Applejack said, picking at her plate with a fork held in the crook of her hoof. "You'll like 'em less cold. Trust me."
"Oh let her take her time, Applejack," Granny Smith said, sitting perpendicular to the mare at the family table. "Listenin' to her prattle on about school today is about the most interestin' thang I've heard all evening!"
"Eeeyup," Big Mac said, then smirked, then continued munching on his oats.
"Hrmmmf..." Applejack frowned. "I spend close to an hour fixin' supper for everyone... and y'all repay me by peckin' at the vittles like lazy birds?"
"Then call me a peacock!" Apple Bloom barked, then winked at Granny. "Right, Granny?"
"Hyeh-hyeh-hyeh! Regular ol' turkey buzzard! Hyeh-hyeh!"
Applejack sighed, rolled her eyes, and smirked. "Very well, Apple Bloom." She bit a muzzle-ful of greens, swallowed, and waved with her fork. "Get it out of yer system..."
"So—after makin' Diamond Tiara look dumb in class by answerin' that history question right, I went to recess thinkin' nothin' of it, y'know? After all..." Apple Bloom tilted her fuzzy chin up with a haughty expression. "I'm an Apple! And Apples aren't keen on makin' thangs personal!"
"Eenope," Big Mac said.
"Unless—of course—some idiots really deserve it."
"Eeyup!"
"Anyways..." Apple Bloom wiggled excitedly in her seat, her yellow brow furrowed. "There I was—mindin' my own business... chattin' it up with Twist... when all of a sudden Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon show up and start layin' on me with mean words... brow-beatin' me and double-teamin' me, y'know?"
"Didja punch their teeth out?" Granny asked, delivering a feeble right hook to the lantern-lit air.
"Granny!" Applejack gnashed her teeth.
"Oh come on, AJ!" Granny smirked. "A lil playground roughousin' never hurt anyone terribly bad in my day!"
"Granny, in your day there weren't no playgrounds!"
"Dang skippy!" Granny nodded firmly. "For manure and giggles, we just wrestled Timberwolves until we was tired and then we slept all night in the muddd!" She winked across the table. "Ain't that right, Big Mac?"
"Eeey—er... nope...?"
Sighing, Applejack glared across the table at Apple Bloom. "Please tell me I ain't gonna be asked to appear for no emergency family-teacher conference."
"I didn't hurt nopony!" Apple Bloom drew a hoof across her chest. "Honest!"
Applejack breathed with relief, returning to her plate. "Well, alright then."
"Snips showed up out of nowhere and shoved Diamond Tiara into a puddle."
Applejack did a double-take, dropping her fork. "Who did what, now?"
"Er... Snips!" Apple Bloom blinked. "Y'know... the stumpy little unicorn from the Ponyville Apartments? Straight Edge's son."
"Is he the funny soundin' one?"
"No, that's Snails."
"Oh... uhhh—"
Granny Smith leaned over her plate with a mischievous sneer. "Did he get that brat's mane all dirty?"
"Grannnnnny..." Applejack hummed.
Big Macintosh chuckled.
"Nuh huh." Apple Bloom took a bite of her food, swallowed, and spoke casually. "Actually... Diamond Tiara took the hit quite well. But the moment she tried snapping at Snips—Snips suddenly shouted louder than her. He stood in front of me and kept telling her to back off and that she was a bully and blah blah blah..."
"Shucks..." Applejack blinked. "I had no idea the schoolyard could get so... dramatic-like."
"Oh, Cheerilee put a stop to it pretty quick," Apple Bloom explained. "She placed both Snips and Diamond Tiara in after-school detention. Heheh... ya should have seen the look on Silver Spoon's face."
"Huh..." Applejack leaned back. "Well, good on Miss Cheerilee, then..."
"But... it all happened so quickly! And out of nowhere too." Apple Bloom blew a tuft of scarlet bangs out from before her forehead and picked at her food. "I dunno what grosses me out the most. The fact that Diamond Tiara would stoop so low... or that Snips might actually have a crush on me."
"Hmmm?" Applejack looked up. "Beg yer pardon?"
"Eh... it's not the first time Snips has tried to come to my rescue," Apple Bloom remarked. "A few days ago he thought I was falling out of a tree and he kept hopping around beneath this branch—telling me that it was okay to land on him. 'He could take the fall.' Pffft... idiot..."
Applejack glanced at her, at the ceiling, then at her little sister yet again. "Sooooo... this fella's smitten with you?"
"Meh. I guess. Twist seems to think so." Apple Bloom shivered slightly. "Wish it was the first and only time."
Applejack looked at Big Mac. "You..." Her ears twitched. She glanced at Apple Bloom once more, squinting harder. "You have colts your age that like you?"
"Looks like it."
"How do you know?"
Big Mac froze in mid-munch.
Apple Bloom blinked.
Applejack kept staring at her.
"What... I mean..." Apple Bloom shrugged. "It happens... doesn't it? I mean... colts will be colts..."
"But... but yer so young..." Applejack was positively grimacing. "It's elementary school, for Celestia's sake..."
"Yeah? So?" Apple Bloom munched on some more greens. "Mrmmmff... what's the big deal?"
Applejack opened her muzzle to speak again—
"Dun mind yer big sister, Apple Bloom," Granny Smith slurred. "She's never been one to pay much mind to all that nonsense."
"Heh... well..." Applejack shrugged. "It's simply that it never had any reason to come up when I was Apple Bloom's age."
"Oh, you were flirted with, alright," Granny Smith said.
Applejack threw her a double-take. "Beg yer pardon?"
"All throughout grade school!" Granny chuckled. "Why—dozens of colts was always hittin' on poor AJ! Shovin' flowers in her face. Tryin' to woo her with crazy schoolyard shenanigans..."
Applejack blinked. Hard. "They was...?"
"Oh, fillies too! Why... she was always the belle of the ball wherever she went!" Granny winked. "I remember many a muzzle blushin' mighty fierce when she showed up for the first day of class! Reckon I was scared-to-the-dickens of what company she might run into at Summer Camp. That's why I said 'yes' when she wanted to go spend time with the Oranges in Manehattan! Figured there her Aunt and Uncle would at least play chaperone and she would be at peace! Not that she ever cared."
"Uhhhhhhm..." Applejack blinked.
"Besides..." Granny Smith munched on the last piece of her dinner then continued, "She never really cared much for spendin' time with classmates. Heck... the only ponies AJ ever hung out with were visitin' cousins and second cousins! Hah! She and Braeburn were practically inseparable that one summer he came to stay! And then there's Red Orchard and Sweet Jasmine... Applejack's always been the favorite at every reunion."
"Eeeyup."
"Eheh... well... you know me..." Applejack raised a fork to her muzzle and smiled nervously. "...always the family mare."
"Hyeh-hyeh! That's for sure!"
"Heehee!"
"Eeyup!"
"Now, Apple Bloom... tell us more about this handsome 'Snips' feller..."
"Ewwwwwwwwwwww, Grannnyyyyyyyyy. Do I have to?"
"Of course! I wanna get a head start on knowin' my future grandson-in-law!"
"Ew ew ew ew ew!"
"Heh heh heh heh..."
As the rest of the family chattered and chuckled, Applejack ate in silence... her green eyes softly locked on the tabletop between them.