//------------------------------// // A Dead Idiot (Chapter 1) // Story: Willful Valor // by Darkpop269 //------------------------------// Chapter 1: The Dead Idiot I died because of something really stupid. I, William Vealor, died an idiot because I stopped crossing the road to pick up a unlucky penny on Saint Patrick's Day. The drunk college student that hit me didn’t even stop to check to see what they hit.   “Whelp... I was right.” I waited standing above my body.   The living don’t have a paradise or a prison to go to after they die. They just die and wait as ghosts. They waited for her to come and take your soul. Death.   “I always knew Death was a chick.” I muttered as I stood next to the roadkill that used to be me.   “And it’s refreshing to know that someone believes that.” A raspy voice whispered into my ear from behind me.   “What in the Nine Hells!” I cried out as I spun around to face the person who had snuck up on me. The sight made me groan.   “What?” Death asked.   “You’re a teenager!” I yelled in despair.   “So are you…” The Reaper of Souls said as she stared at me. "Also call me Missy! I hate being called Death."   The embodiment of most of the fears of the people of Earth was in a young teenage body. She was pale, sickly thin, and average height. Her long hair was dark purple and her eyes glowed red. The clothes that were on her were a black zip-up hooded sweatshirt, a pair of ripped jeans, and a pair of black combat boots. She actually reminded me of my little sister.   “You are the first person to ever think about what I’m wearing instead of running away in fear. Also thanks for the sister thing. It’s nice to think I’m normal even if it’s only for a second.” Missy commented.   She appears to be able to read minds.   “Yup!” She said popping the ‘p.’   “Of course.” I grumbled.   We stood in silence for a few minutes. I scratched my head nervously as Missy stared at me. I eventually noticed a smile forming on her face.   “You’re not going to scream in denial?” Missy asked.   “My dead body’s right there.” I said pointing at it.   “So it is.”   Back to silence.   “Can yo-” I started.   “Shh! I’m enjoying the moment. I finally found someone who's not freaking out when they die!” Missy interrupted with joy as she started to twirl in a circle.   “Can you please…” I trailed of when I noticed the sheer joy on her face. Huh. Apparently people can’t accept it when they die and freak the fuck out. I was fine though. Death was a part of life.   Missy stopped twirling with her back to me. She then turned to look at me with an intense stare. Then she started bawling and lunged at me. I yelped, stumbling back, and then froze when I realized she was only hugging me.   “Thank you! Everyone is so rude to me and are always screaming about how I’m evil. I’m not! You think I want to be Death? No! It sucks! The pay sucks! And everyone hates me!” She cried into my shoulder.   I patted her back cautiously and questioned what I was supposed to do. I was bad with this kind of stuff. My sisters could attest to that.   “You’re a nice person not a good or bad one but nice. You are even suffering through my crocodile tears. Don't get me wrong the gesture is nice but I don't get sad.” Missy said before letting me go and stepping back. She stood there a second before raising a hand that glowed with purple energy. “So instead of recycling your soul I’m going to send you… somewhere else. You are also going to be something else!”   “What?” I questioned.   “See you in a few!” Missy said before tossing a ball of purple energy at me. “Oh and try not to freak out when you wake up!”   “Well fuck.” I sighed as the ball consumed me and everything went black.   ---------This is a line breaker you ignore it or it breaks you--------- “What does that word mean?” Twilight asked Celestia.   “What word?” Celestia raised an eyebrow at Twilight.   “Fuck.” Twilight said.   “Nothing you need to know! When it comes up again ignore it! Also never say it! It’s a bad word!” Celestia said quickly before she started reading again.   ---------This is a line breaker you ignore it or it breaks you---------   The first thing that I became aware of when I woke up was the wind. It was cold, fast, and heavy. The second thing I became aware of was the fact that I was laying on the hard ground and it was cold. The third thing that I became aware of hurt. Searing light blinded me when I opened my eyes.   “Fucking sun!” I cried out as I threw my arms in front of my face to block out the infernal light.   It was about then when I noticed the black stubs.   “Huh… Where are my hands?” I asked the universe as I lowered and raised one of my... arms?   I started to repeat that motion. After a few seconds the slow movement started to speed up until the limb was a blur. I stopped. Something wasn’t right. I rolled over and tried to stand only to fell straight onto my face. It was then when I realized that there was something wrong with my body.   “What the fuck is that?” I questioned calmly as I stated at a black equine like body that my head was attached to.   “That’s the new you!” A familiar voice happily said. “Also good job at not freaking out!”   I looked up to see a black… pegacorn? Unisus? Weird-Horned-Bat-Winged-Fanged-Horse-Thing? Whatever it was it was tall, a lot taller than me, and sickly thin. It also had a dark purple mane and dark purple tail. It’s eyes were also glowing a familiar red. There was also a tattoo of a silver skull on either side of its flanks. Looking at it I realized that it was really similar to…   “Missy?” I asked the thing.   “That hurts Will but I’ll let it slide because we're not Human anymore. Also call me Soul Taker when I’m like this.” Mis- Soul Taker said with a sad smile.   “Okay.” I said. It was about then that the situation around me dawned on me. I was alive again but in a new body. I started screaming and kicking my new legs out.   “You were so close.” Soul Taker sighed as she watched me. She sat down on her haunches. “I can wait.”   I didn’t stop screaming until I passed out from exhaustion. ---------This is a line breaker you ignore it or it breaks you--------- Celestia sighed and summoned a bookmark to put in the book. Then she put the book back on the nightstand.   “Why did you stop?” Twilight asked.   “It’s time for you to go to sleep.” Celestia said.   “What?” Twilight tilted her head.   “It’s past midnight Twilight.” Celestia said.   “Fuck!” Twilight exclaimed.   “Twilight!” Celestia cried out.   Twilight Sparkle was sent to bed post haste and was promised punishment if she said the ‘f’ word again. Twilight also got another question while she sat awake staring at the ceiling.   “What’s a Human?”