//------------------------------// // Starlight Glimmer // Story: A Bridge to Somewhere // by Skywriter //------------------------------// "I am a terrible pony," I say. "Were a terrible pony. You're much better. And furthermore, I don't think you actually were a terrible pony, not really. I'm reminded of something my friend Fluttershy once said: 'You're not a bad dragon; you just made a bad decision.'" I frown. "Did she say this to an actual dragon?" "Yes!" cries Twilight, grinning from ear to ear. "The yellow one. Very quiet. Easily intimidated by a rabbit." "That's the one! In her defense, Angel does happen to be one of the scarier rabbits out there." I shake my head. "Your friends have some hidden depths." The Princess of Friendship lays a hoof across my withers. "I hope one day they'll become your friends, too." "That's... not going to be easy." "Of course not. Friendship isn't something that happens over the course of a two-minute musical montage. It takes laughter, kindness, generosity, honesty and loyalty. But more important to the current discussion, it takes an awful lot of hard work from all ponies involved." "Why in Equestria would they want to do that? Expend a bunch of effort getting to know a pony like me?" "Don't be silly. They'll love you." "I'm serious, Twilight!" I say, stamping a hoof. "I've done things! Terrible things! I stripped an entire nominally-consenting village of their cutie marks just to prove a point! And then when I saw you, I got greedy and thought that this was my one chance to get an honest-to-Celestia Princess of Equestria behind my cause, so I may have stretched the bounds of 'consent' just a smidge—" "What you did was wrong, Starlight. There's no question of that. But I think deep down you recognize this is about more than just stealing cutie marks." Twilight fixes me with a warm stare that makes me wither inside, an ugly weed exposed to too much sun. "Yes," I say. "I spent years of my life finding ponies in need and in pain and preying on their weakness. I told myself that I was helping them. That I was working towards a better future for all of us, a future filled with absolute liberty, free from the machinations of destiny." I shake my head. "But that's not what they needed. Party Favor didn't need a future free of destiny. He needed somepony to give him the confidence to get back to doing what he does best. Sugar Belle needed freedom to work her way out from under a family legacy she wasn't proud of. Night Glider didn't need an ideological cult; she just needed a good role model. And poor Double Diamond just needed a tender hoof and time to heal, not to be used as a literal captive audience. I got so wrapped up in my own agenda that I saw each and every one of them as a means to an end, as a way of getting what I wanted, instead of working together with them so we could all thrive. "I could have been everything those ponies needed," I finish. "But now, they're... carrying on without me." "Starlight..." says Twilight, gently. "I tried to build a paradise, Twilight. I tried to build my own private heaven on a foundation of my own fears and emotional baggage. When you and your friends took it from me, I got so... angry! Why were you trying to ruin my perfect little place?" "You know why." "Yeah," I say, shuffling a hoof. "It wasn't perfect at all. It was built on bad ground, and it collapsed around me, and now I just feel like I'm searching for a way out. I need somewhere I can go to leave behind the pony I was. To be a brand new pony who doesn't just treat other ponies as means to an end. And I'll probably mess up, because I still am the pony I was, but maybe every day I can start to become the pony I want to be." "The pony I know you can be," says Twilight. "The pony I know you really are, inside." Twilight's absolute calm certainty makes me want to break down bawling, and so, yeah, I pretty much just do that thing, right there in the middle of her opulent crystal study. "I'm just looking for a place I belong," I say, amidst tears. "I'm just looking for a home." My teacher encloses me in a tight hug that, just for a moment, makes all the rest of the world go away. "You've found it," says Twilight Sparkle.