Turkey Bacon Club

by MythrilMoth


Bacon'sTrips

"See you at school on Tuesday!" Sunset Shimmer called, waving. As her friends dispersed, Sunset faced the portal, took a deep breath, and stepped through.

Hooves met cool crystal with a sharp tap. She looked around, blinking as the spots cleared from her vision following the kaleidoscopic light show of the portal. Everything around her was crystal in hues of blue and purple and pink; some of the crystals along the walls were rough, as though poorly-cut, or perhaps grown. The room she found herself in was empty, with sunlight streaming in from a single window and a simple wooden door across from the portal. She turned to examine the portal and let out a low whistle. "Wow, Twilight," she said softly, "you went full nerd on this thing." She chuckled and shook her head, then trotted casually to the door. "So this is Twilight's castle, huh?" she mused as she opened the door, pleased at the familiar feeling of her magic. She stepped out into a hall made of more of the same crystal which stretched on and on in both directions.

Her ears folded down around her head.

"Aaaand I have no idea where anything is," she muttered. Shaking her head and sighing, she picked a direction at random and began walking. "Guess I should've let Twilight know I was coming instead of making this a surprise visit. Oh well, I'm bound to run into stairs or another pony or something sooner or later..." As she walked, she took in her surroundings. The smooth red floor contrasted nicely with the blues, pinks, and purples of the walls and columns. Where the walls were smooth, the columns were rough and asymmetrical. The odd velvet banner or tapestry hung here and there, all purple with gold tassels and trim. The windows gave the sunlight a faintly greenish tinge; wherever there was a door or window, an etched diagram of a tree's branches appeared directly above it. "Gotta say, Twilight's taste in decor is...interesting..."

Ever since Princess Twilight Sparkle had spent a weekend at her apartment with three friends from Equestria, Sunset had felt a pang of homesickness. The night they had returned home, she very nearly followed them through the portal. Since then, she had been contemplating visiting, and had even mentioned it to Twilight in the journal a couple of times. Twilight had been cheerful and enthusiastic, and had extended a blanket invitation to come through any time. "The portal's always open," Twilight had said.

And so it was, and so here Sunset was now, not ten minutes after the final bell on the Friday before a three-day weekend, roaming the halls of an unfamiliar castle in Equestria, a pony once again.

She passed by several doors and around a bend before spotting an archway up ahead that led to a spiral staircase. She stood on the landing, frowning indecisively, then shrugged and decided to go down. "Down's better than up," she muttered to herself. "Unless I end up in the dungeon." She tilted her head curiously as she trotted downstairs. "Does Twilight even have a dungeon?"

She emerged onto the landing and stepped out into a hallway identical to the one she'd just left. With a sigh, she continued trotting. "I wonder how big this place is," she muttered. "Strange I haven't run into anypony yet. I mean, in Canterlot—" she broke off, her ears twitching as she caught a sound. It was a quiet, high-pitched sound, but as she listened, it grew louder—closer. It sounded like a foal giggling.

Sunset blinked. *A foal?*

A golden flash of light went off in her face, and she reared in alarm. Then, she took a step back in shock and confusion, raising a hoof. "What...?"

A tiny white foal hovered in front of her face on massive pink wings. Her light blue-green eyes were wide and playful, but also inquisitive and mildly confused. A snow-white horn poked through a curly mane of lavender and periwinkle.

"Bbbbtbbbbtbbbbt," the foal burbled, tongue poking out cutely as she tilted her head.

Sunset's brain short-circuited as she took in the massive wings and the horn and the colorful mane. "The...the heck?! A baby alicorn?!"

The little alicorn giggled and flew around her, studying her intently. Then she did a flippy loop in the air, cooed something in baby language, and disappeared in a golden flash.

Sunset blinked. "...oooooookay," she drawled. "That happened. I guess."

"—heard her up here," a familiar voice said from around a corner. "We'd better find her quick before Twilight—"

Sunset tensed reflexively as two mares trotted into view. It took her a moment to identify them by comparison. One of them was Starlight Glimmer—she'd only met Starlight as a human before, but her hair was very distinctive. The other pony was gray with gray hair, a flat, dull expression, and a drab blue-gray dress.

"It's not as if Twilight can keep track of her any better than you can," the second pony said in a flat, dull monotone. A very familiar flat, dull monotone.

*Maud Pie. Huh.*

"I know that! But still, Twilight's pretty ticked at me for—" Starlight broke off as she noticed Sunset. "Oh! Hello, I didn't know anypony was..." Her eyes widened. "Sunset Shimmer?"

Sunset raised a hoof and waved sheepishly. "Starlight, hey. What's up?"

Starlight waved back. "I...wasn't expecting to run into you up here," she said. "Or...in Equestria at all actually..."

Sunset scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "Heheh, yeah, I...have a free three-day weekend, so I decided to come back to Equestria for a visit. I figured I'd drop in on Twilight, surprise her, hang out..."

"Oh," Starlight said. "Cool."

"Have you seen a baby alicorn?" Maud asked disinterestedly.

"Actually, yeah," Sunset said. "What's up with that?"

"It's Twilight's niece," Starlight said. "Twilight had to step out for a minute to take care of something so we're baby...sitting..." She blinked, then pointed a trembling hoof at Sunset. "Umm..."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"Uhh...Sunset? You...you're supposed to be a unicorn, right?" Starlight asked.

"Yeah?" Sunset replied, reaching up to touch her horn with her hoof. "Why do you ask?"

"Because, umm..." Starlight's voice quavered. "You, umm...you have wi...wi...wi..."

"You're an alicorn," Maud said dispassionately.

Sunset blinked several times. "What?" She craned her head around to examine herself.

And there they were, just barely within her field of vision.

Wings.

She reflexively spread them, examining the feathers, which darkened from amber to a fiery red at the tips. Her jaw dropped. "What the...?! How did I...?!" She looked at the other two mares with the expression of a lost, confused child in a crowd. "I'm an alicorn?" she whispered.

"Umm...congratulations?" Starlight offered sheepishly. Seeing that Sunset was about to start freaking out, she stomped a hoof. "Worry about it later, we need to find Flurry before Twilight gets back!"

"Calm down," Maud said. "She won't leave the castle."

Starlight took a deep breath. "You're right," she said. "It's a big castle. We'll find her. Trixie's watching the front doors, Flurry doesn't like flying outside..." She relaxed. "Right. So as long as she didn't go through the portal or something..."

Her eyes widened. So did Sunset's.

The mares broke into a run for the nearest staircase.

* * * * *

Flash Sentry stood in front of the broken statue, hands in his pockets. "I'm sure they won't mind," he said. "Just a quick peek. Just curious. Just wanna...wanna close the book on the whole Twilight thing. Besides, it's Sunset's home too. Can't hurt to have a look, right?"

Taking a deep breath, Flash placed a hand against the smooth marble. The surface rippled, feeling more like a cold, gelatinous substance than stone. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. He took a step back, steeling himself...

Something flew out of the statue and collided with his chest. He yelped in alarm and raised his hands reflexively. Half a second later, he registered what had just collided with him, and frantically ducked to catch the small, delicate baby before it could touch the ground. His chest heaved violently, every nerve in his body singing with adrenaline. He stared, wide-eyed, at the curious little infant in a pink romper, who peered up at him with bright eyes. "Bamugu?" the baby said.

"Oh God," Flash moaned, looking wildly around to see if anybody was watching. Thankfully, the courtyard was mostly empty. "Oh shit, this is bad..." Without thinking, he rushed headlong into the portal, cradling the infant.

A sensation of stretching and warping overtook him as his senses were assailed by blinding light and colors and a rush of sound. Then...

"—definitely heard something in there," Sunset Shimmer's voice said, muffled as though by great distance.

"Oh Celestia, will she be okay?" another voice asked.

"If she actually went through? I doubt she'd get very far." Sunset's voice was clearer now. Flash looked up, his vision blurry. He could make out the vague shape of a door. As it came into focus, he saw it open, admitting an amber-colored horse with wings, a horn, and a huge, wavy mane of copper and gold hair. "I mean, you know what happens when what the hell?!"

"Sunset, what—oh! There she is," the other voice said, sounding relieved. "But who's that holding her?"

Flash looked down at his hands...which were now hooves, in which a tiny baby horse in a diaper lay, rocking back and forth and giggling. A faint turquoise glow wrapped itself around the baby horse, and it floated over to the amber horse. "There you are, you naughty thing," the horse said. "That mirror's a no-no for little foals, okay? —Flash?!"

It was then that Flash realized that the amber horse looked a lot like Sunset Shimmer. His mouth felt dry. "Uhh..."

"Oh hey, it's that guy we met at the music festival," the other horse in the room said. Flash glanced in her direction, recognition dawning—it was one of Twilight's friends. Only...as a horse.

"Holy shit," he rasped.

Sunset coughed. "Uhh...so not to sound ungrateful or anything, but what the heck are you doing here?"

"Uhh...baby," Flash said. "Came...came flying out of the statue. Caught...caught the baby. Figured...needed to bring it back."

"Thank you so much," the other horse said. "You saved my hide. And, well, Flurry's."

"No problem," Flash said, staring at his...hooves. "Uhh, Sunset? Little help here?"

Sunset sighed. "Look, Flash...you need to not be here right now, okay? I mean, thanks for the assist, but..." She sighed again. "I'll help you back through the portal, and when I come back in a few days, I'll explain everything. Maybe...maybe next time I come, you can come with. But just...not right now, okay?"

Flash sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." He struggled to stand, then fell flat on his face. "Gah. What the hell happened to me?"

"Short version, you're a pony. I'll give you the whole story later." Flash felt an odd tingling sensation envelop him, then the sense of movement. Then he was back in the whirling, roaring kaleidoscope...

...and then he was on the ground next to the statue, hurting all over. He picked himself up, looked around, grunted, and walked away.

* * * * *

"Well. That was awkward." Sunset shook her head and turned to face Starlight, who now had Flurry balanced on her back. Flurry was rocking back and forth and chewing on Starlight's mane. "So! I guess we should...umm...be anywhere but here in this room?"

Starlight giggled. "Come on, let's go down to the library," she suggested. "It's the coziest part of the castle."

Sunset followed Starlight out and down the hall. Maud soon joined them, her gaze flat and dispassionate. "I found Flurry Heart," she said. "She's on your back eating your mane."

"Thanks," Starlight said dryly, rolling her eyes.

"So Twilight's niece is a baby alicorn?" Sunset asked. "She kinda forgot to mention that part."

"Really? Huh." Starlight shrugged. "Figured she'd have mentioned that. Took us all by surprise."

"Bau," Flurry opined.

Sunset giggled. "Now that I'm getting a good look at her, she's...she's adorable!" She leaned close and gently poked Flurry in the tummy with a hoof. "Who's a cutie baby? Who's a cutie baby? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Gigigigi," Flurry giggled.

After several minutes of walking, they entered a spacious library full of books, with plush cushions and chairs and tables everywhere. A blue unicorn with a silvery-white mane sat at one table, lazily flipping through a magazine. She looked up at them as they entered. "Hey Starlight," she said. "Find the baby yet?"

"Yeah, we found her," Starlight said. "Weren't you supposed to be guarding the front door?"

The unicorn shrugged. "Trixie had better things to do with her time," she said. "Besides, Flurry went up, not down, right?"

"Well...yeah," Starlight admitted. "Oh! By the way, meet Twilight's friend Sunset Shimmer!"

Trixie stood up lazily, tossing her mane and studying Sunset over the bridge of her upturned muzzle. "Hello, friend of Twilight Sparkle," she said imperiously. "You find yourself fortuitous enough to stand in the presence of the GREAT! AND POWERFUL!"

"Trixie," Sunset cut across her. "Yes, I know who you are."

"Oh? My reputation precedes me? Well well." Trixie let off a short, smug laugh. "Then perhaps Trixie will favor you with a demonstration of amazing and fantastic feats of magic the likes of—"

"Trix?" Starlight interrupted, holding up a hoof. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." She pointed insistently at Sunset.

"Hmm?" Trixie studied Sunset more closely. Sunset smirked and spread her wings.

Trixie's jaw dropped. Her ears laid back. "Oh, horseapples," she pouted. With a dramatic sigh, she flopped back down at the table, burying herself in her magazine.

"Pinion envy. Not a pretty sight," Maud said emotionlessly.

Flurry burbled.