//------------------------------// // The Two and a Half Feathers // Story: The EK // by Magi Tail Welkin //------------------------------// Lunchtime down in Ponyville. Also, down in Ponyville were the Major and Porter. At the Café Hay. They sat at the table with menus. The Major looked up “What are you going to have Porter?” “Well, I, I’ll have the carrot toad in the hole sir.” “I think I’ll try to the flower and potato pie. Better call Savoir over before the rush starts.” “Right sir,” they called Savoir over and made their orders, then the Major asked “What sort of flower is it.” “Thistle sir.” “Ah, can I have the toad in the hole instead.”, Savoir rolled his eyes and nodded, Thistle was not a popular flower but the Chef did insist cooking it every occasionally. Caramel and Sassaflash, both smiling and leaning into each other went to a table near the officers. They waved at the Major and Porter and they smiled back. Lucky Clover came up as well and sat with the newlyweds and made their orders. Caramel made the exact same mistake as the Major, to which Sassaflash giggled. Savoir brought in all the orders and Lucky reached into his bag “Do you want some pickle?” Caramel smiled “Oh yes please Lucky.”, Lucky put the jar down and turned to the Major “Do you want some pickle Major?” “No thank you, not with toad in the hole.” They began eating when they heard more hoof steps and the sounds of surprised stopping. Cold Steel came marching in, dressed in his Second Hoof ceremonial uniform, bright scarlet, medal swinging, a black and spiked pith helmet on his head. He walked up to the Major and saluted “Hello sir, I tried calling at the Hall but I just missed you, I’ve come to say goodbye.” Lucky looked over “Don’t tell me you got you’re calling up papers at last? Give the enemy a taste of Tartarus for me, will you? And Steel, if you don’t come back, can I have those ten bits you borrowed?” Steel shook his head and reached into his pocket “There’s no called to be funny Lucky. If you want those ten bits you can have it.” “I was only joking.” The Major spoke up “Sit down Steel, every-pony’s staring.” “Let them stare sir. I wear this uniform with pride.” He pulled it hoof out of his pocket and a load of small white balls fell out. Lucky and Caramel pushed them out of the way. Sassaflash sniffed one and recoiled. Caramel glared at Steel “You’re mothballs landed in our lunch.” Lucky then said, “Well don’t advertise it Caramel, otherwise every-pony will want one.”, Steel put a load of coin next to Lucky. The Major called out an order “Sit down Steel, you’re showing us up.” “Yes sir.” Steel said as he sat in the spare chair of the old soldiers’ table. He took his helmet off. The Major took another bite of his toad and asked, “Where exactly are you going?” “I’m going to Canterlot sir. Tonight, is the Forty-second annual reunion for the veterans of the Battle of Ambleman.” “Really? I assume Captain Thicket will be there?” “She’s hosting, always has, even before she was made Captain of the Day Guard. I served in that campaign with some distinction you know, I should have been mention in dispatches but I think that ran out of paper. I’ll show you.”, the officers protested but Cold Steel took Lucky’s pickle and tomato sauce bottle, much to the grey Pegasus’s annoyance, and put them in the table “You see there were these two huge rocks.” He took the salt shaker and placed it on the edge “And General Kitchens was here. And the Mad Mahdi was there.” Pointed to Porter’s plate. “Suddenly, there was this great big bugle call and all these Desert Ponies and Akhal-Teke Tribes come rushing towards us and General Kitchens he just stood as cool as a cumber and he said, “Steady colts, don’t shot until you see the red of their eyes!”.” Porter chuckled “I think he said the whites of their eyes, didn’t he?” “He did say white, but he should have said red, you see because of all that dust and sand it makes your eyes red. You get a lot of bloodshot eyeballs in the desert.” Lucky called over “Hey Steel, you finished with my pickle?” “No I haven’t finish yet. So, anyway, these Desert Ponies and Akhal-Teke they charge at us and we kept repulsing them, and they came at us with these great big choppers! And they were chopping off heads and legs left, right and centre! There was blood everywhere!” The Major put his fork down and held the bridge of his noise as Cold Steel continued “And the corpses. It was terrible. The don’t have battles like that anymore.” He got out of his chair and put his helmet back on “Well, Major, I’ll leave you to enjoy your lunch.” He saluted and walked away. Porter watched him go before turning to the Major “I seem to have lost my appetite sir.” “Yes, so have I. But I’m not one to waste food.” He turned to Lucky “Clover? Can I have some of your pickle?” “Oh no,” Lucky said smiling “help yourself.” “Thank you, might help to make it a bit more palatable.” He dug a chunk out and took a bit with the toad. Chew for a moment. Went white and wide-eyed. And ran off. Porter blinked “What in wide worlds happened to him?”, Lucky came over and sniffed the pickle jar, then recoiled “I don’t want to worry you Porter. But I think one of Cold Steel’s mothballs fell in the pickle and the Major’s just eaten it!” “What?” Porter exclaimed “Sweet Celestia!” the butler ran off after the Major. Savoir blinked. Lucky came up beside and explained “I think you’d better ask for the bill later.”, the unicorn waiter nodded. Sassaflash turned to Caramel “I’ll pay for today, you’d better help Major Fields.” “Thanks, dear.” He gave her a peck on the lips and ran after Porter “See you later Lucky!” he called as he passed. The evening came and the Major sat in his office. Porter opened the door “Excuse me sir, Miss Vigil is outside waiting to introduce his recruit sir.” “Bring them in, will you?” “Right sir.” He turned back “Alright Miss Vigil, you can bring your friend in now.” The Major rolled his eyes. Vigil walked in and saluted. Behind her an old Earth Pony stallion in a suit, as blue as his coat, with medals, a homburg hat and a small but thick moustache closed the door behind him, “Sir,” Vigil began “I’d like to introduce you to Clark, he wants to join our ranks sir.” Major Fields nodded and looked to the new comer “Good evening Mr Clark.” Clark took off his hat “Good evening,” he then stood to attention “Sir!” The Major grinned “I could tell you that you served in the Royal Guard before Mr Clark." “That’s correct sir.”, the Major turned to Vigil “You know Mr Clark well?” “Yes sir.” “And you’ve known him for some time?” “Oh, yes sir, I have.” “And you say he’s a stallion of integrity?” “And very generous sir. He stood me several drinks at the pub in Huntersfield last Sunday night.” “When did you first meet him?” “At the pub in Huntersfield, last Sunday night.” The Major sniffed then turned to Clark “Well, tell us about yourself Mr Clark.” “Well sir,” he gave a whizzing cough “as you guessed sir I’ve been a regular solider all my life, I retired about ten years ago and I’ve only been living in the Everfree Kingdom for a few weeks.” “When did you first join the Royal Guard?” “957 sir, a year later in 958 I served in Saddle Arabia under General Kitchens at the Battle of Ambleman sir.” “By Celestia,” Porter blurted out “that’s a coincidence sir.” “Yes,” the two command ponies chuckled and the Major asked “I don’t suppose you came across a pony by the name of Cold Steel by any chance?” Clark smiled wearily “You can’t expect me to remember that sir? Thousands of ponies took part in battle.” “Yes, yes, I realise that, I was only joking.” “I was in the Second Regiment of Hoof sir.” Porter spoke up “But Steel was in the Second Hoof sir.”, the Major nodded. Clark narrowed his eyes “It was a long time ago sir, but I seem to remember a Steel, he was always a bit behind every-pony else with drill.” Vigil pointed with her wing “That’s him.” The Major shook his head “Well just have to wait till tomorrow to see if it’s the same pony. Now I’d like you to come down half an hour before parade Clark so we can have Miss Rarity fit you up with a uniform. I’ll just swear you in for the mean time.”, they made the small oath to Princess Twilight and Sir Flash Sentry and Clark swore to serve to the best of his advantage. Next evening the Major grew impatient as Rarity with her tap measure and glasses fitted Clark, “Do hurry up Miss Rarity, there’s only twenty minutes till parade. Can’t you find him a better tunic?” She turned to him with her head held high in a huff “It’s best I can at such short notice Major, Mr Clark is rather and awkward size.” “Well you’ll have to alter it that’s all. Must have you fitted out Clark this is a very efficient unit.” “When do I start training sir?” “We’ll have training the next parade night after this.” A knock came from the door and the Major called “Come in.” Vigil walked in followed by Cold Steel, Lucky and Caramel, the Bat Pony saluted “Cold Steel you see you sir.” Steel walked up “Alright, alright Vigil no need to show me into the office.” He saluted “Evening sir.” The Major acknowledged the salute “Evening Steel, I want to introduce you to Mr Clark, are latest recruit.” Clark meanwhile at hearing Steel’s voice came over with surprise. Steel turned to Clark “How do you do?”, Clark smirked “Hello Steely, remember me?”, Steel frowned “No, I don’t think I do.” “Course you do, one four seven eight nine Private Clark.”, Steel grinned “Oh, hello Knobby.”, Clark nodded “Hello mate, long time no see.” “Yes, yes, a long time.” Steel’s face started to drop “I remember you now.”  Clarks face turned bitter “I remember you now, mate. I remember you very, very well.” Every-pony noticed the rather harsh delivery of the last part. Porter spoke up “It’s nearly time for the parade sir. I’ll go a fall the platoon in.”, the Major nodded and follow “It’ll give me a chance to introduce Clark to the rest of the platoon. This way Clark.”, Clark quickly followed. Steel slowly trudged after. After parade Vigil went to Huntersfield, to the pub and after a few rounds it asked the question to Clark about his harshness to Steel. Clark didn’t say much, but Vigil reading between his lines worked it out. The two were sent out of patrol and they got captured by some Desert Ponies, Steel managed to escape and Clark believed Steel left in in the desert of Saddle Arabia to die. Rumours began to run around. Only helped by Steel disappearing. Lucky sighed as he and Lilac sat in the part. Lilac nudged him “Look at that lovely moon.”, Lucky nodded “Yeah,” he said solemnly “Princess Luna really outdid herself tonight.” Lilac looked at him “What’s up with you tonight?” “Well, I’ve got a lot of things on my mind.” “That makes a change, you’ve usually only got one thing on your mind. Come on give me a kiss.” “Now wait a minute, there’s a time and a place.” “This is the time and the place, don’t you love me anymore?” “I’m mad about you Lilac. It’s just I’m worried about Cold Steel. I asked him about these rumours, he didn’t say anything, didn’t even deny it. Now he’s gone a disappeared.” “Look, you going to give me a kiss or not?”, Lucky sighed and chuckled “Well, I’m sitting here I suppose.” Caramel sighed and got up from where he lay in the bed, Sassaflash stirred, he glanced at her and whispered "Sorry dear. I can't sleep, all this talk about Steel is playing havoc with my mind." She groaned and covered her head with the sheets. Steel sat down in a chair on the porch of the Retirement home when Cipher came walking up “Late Post Mr Steel.” He levitated three letters onto Steel’s chair. The old stallion nodded and the Changeling went back to his cart. Steel opened the first letter and pulled out a white feather, then he read the letter ‘Why did you leave your friend out in the desert to die?’ He took the next letter and again found a white feather, the letter read ‘There’s no room in Everfree for a coward.’ The third letter included only half a white feather and the message ‘A coward like you is not even worth a whole white feather!’ Steel gritted his teeth and called “Nurse! I’m going out.” The nurse nodded “What are you going to do?” “Something I should have done a long time ago.” He put the letters together and started walking to the gates “It’s the only way.” Down in the Major’s office Flash sat at the Major’s chair “Gentle-colts, I intend to get to the bottom of this, once and for all. Now Clark, will you tell us exactly what happened between you and Cold Steel in Saddle Arabia?” “Well sir, we were on patrol and we were captured by a pair of Desert Ponies. They pegged me out in the sand and they took Steel with them. Somehow, he must have managed to escape, but he didn’t come back for me. I must have passed, but I can just remember this native bending over me and going through my pockets. I awoke in hospital, that native must have saved my life, even if he did pinch my wallet.” The Major hummed “I still don’t believe Steel you have left you to die.” Clark then shouted, “Then why has he cleared off?” The door to the office shut “I’ll tell you why I cleared off.” And Steel walk up. The Major turned wide-eyed “Steel? Where have you been?” “Permission to speak sir? Firstly, I would like to thank you for having faith in me sir. Up to now my lips have been sealed, but now I can speak truthfully and tell you what really happened.” He turned to Flash “You see sir, it all occurred a week or two before the Battle of Ambleman. Private Clark and I were part of a patrol sent out by General Kitchens to find out the strength of the Mad Mahdi’s army.” As Cold Steel recounted his tell the memories played out in his mind. Private Cold Steel marched in a line of desert camouflaged guard-ponies behind a pair of desert chariots. These were early experiments in auto-magic. On the forward chariot rode a Colonel, tall and a resolute as iron. Behind on the other chariot rode a young Second-Lieutenant, the Colonel’s nephew. Behind Steel and the Privates matched a course Bat Pony Sergeant, Ironsides, he constantly shouted at the soldiers, giving them the black side of his tongue. Steel looked up and saw vultures flying overhead, he did all he could not to shudder. As they rounded a corner an old and withered Desert Pony sat in the sands and waved his staff at them “Turn back! It is written in the sands, that before the sun sinks all of you shall be dead!” The Colonel passed him and called over “Rubbish, clear out the way old fool.” The old Desert Pony went on “Do not go against the will of God. What is written in the sand is written in the sand!” None of the other took notice. But Ironsides gave him a stream of heavy curses words. The old pony then replied something in Saddle Arabian. Steel, having been given a crash course of the language in Buckdad believed it to be a curse. And it seemed to work. At midday, an arrow flew into the patrol’s path, followed by a barrage. “Take Cover!” called the Colonel. Sergeant Ironsides repeated the order as the patrol rushed to a rock formation “Take cover! Take #%&*&$# Cover!” The soldiers readied their crossbows. An arrow hit the chest of the Second-Lieutenant. Steel rushed over, laid the young stallion out and gave him a drink, panting and turning pale the young officer nodded “Thank you, Steel, you’re a good chap. Dash hard luck, happening like this. I want you to promise me something.” “Yes sir?” “When you get home to Equestria, tell Mother I couldn’t help it.” “Help what sir?” “Falling off my chariot.” Meanwhile the soldiers load and fired, reloaded and fired. Ironsides called “Keep your #%&*&$# head’s down!” From their position on a high plain they could see the charging hordes of Akhal-Teke and Desert Ponies. “Blimey!” a young solider said “There must be thousands of them.” “Shut up,” Ironsides called “and keep your #%&*&$# head down.” He turned to the Colonel. “I don’t like the look of this, sir. That #%&*&$# Mahdi means #%&*&$# business.” “I think you’re right, Sergeant. As soon as it’s dark we should send some-pony for help.” “Permission to speak, sir?” “Yes, Steel?” “I’d like to volunteer as the pony who goes and gets help.” “All right, Steel, good chap, and take that fellow, what’s him name? Clark.” The pair of Clark and Steel crept out during the night and come morning they trudged through the sand dunes. All the time the sun beat down on them. Steel wiped his brow and resisted the urge to curse Princess Celestia. The two stopped for a rest. And as Steel found the water bottle empty a pair of shadows covered them. They looked up and went stiff with dread. Two Desert Ponies, wrapped up and scowling stared the two Royal Guard ponies down, spears and bows and arrows at the ready. Steel true to his name held his head high and glared at them to say, “Do your worst.” Clark fell to the ground and started begging for mercy. Steel turned away and shook his head. Instead of being merciful, and having a hatred of cowards the Desert Ponies drove posts into the sand and tied Clark to them. They tied a rope around Steel’s legs and dragged him for miles. After hours of this torture they stopped and prepared a meal. One of them started lighting a fire. Then the other berated him for something. The pair pulled their knives out and began fighting and moved away from the slowly rising fire. Steel seeing the distraction before him shuffled over to the flames and burnt through the rope, much to his own distress. After he accomplished this he pretended to still be tied up encase his captures noticed. Suddenly, one of the Desert Ponies threw his knife to the sands and ran off. The victor shout something, which Steel roughly translated to “Ruddy Hooligan!” Steel them remembered, and realised why this fight might have occurred, Desert Ponies can’t stand fire, an entire tribe of Pyrophorics. The victor approached. Quickly Steel stood up and took a burning stick and held it to the Desert Pony’s face. The transform made Steel’s eye widen, the pony before him went from a proud warrior to a gibbering idiot, his nostrils flared and he fell back shaking and squirming. Steel now with the upper-hoof made the Desert Pony take his robes off. Steel put them on over his uniform and ran off back to Clark. When he found the strung-out stallion, Steel took him for a goner, so he started looking through his pockets for his belongs to send home. He found Clark’s wallet, and inside he found an image which even in the heat of the desert, made his blood ice over. A picture of the Colonel’s wife. The Colonel was a stallion a high moral fibre, but rumours abounded about his lady being less so. Steel looked to Clark and back to the photograph, and he shivered. Clark groaned, which brought Steel out of his daze. Steel put his ear to Clark’s chest and heard his heartbeat. He slung Clark over himself. After a nightmare journey through the desert Cold Steel saw the relief column. He shouted out to them as he approached. “Private Clark was taken back to Headquarters,” Steel finished “And I never saw him again until last week. I kept that secret close to my chest for all those years. No-pony knew, apart from me, Private Clark and the Colonel’s Lady.” Flash nodded but asked, “Why couldn't you have told any-pony when these rumours started?” “Well sir, there could have been a chance the Colonel or his lady could still be alive. That’s where I’ve been, up in Canterlot looking at the Royal Guard records. And I’m thankful to say that the both the Colonel and his lady are beyond the reach of scandal.” He pulled the letters out. “And now I have a chance to burn these letters.” “Letters?” “Three ponies, I don’t know who, sent me the white feather.” Flash blinked and scowled. “Well, at least we ended this scandal both it went any further, although I would have preferred no white feathers at all. Now to deal with Clark.” Porter spoke up, “I think he went out few minutes ago.” The Major turned to him. “What?” he exclaimed. “Why didn’t you stop him? He’s not going to get away with this you know.” Flash nodded. “Indeed not.” Steel waved a hoof. “Let him go, he’s not worth the trouble. The Home Guard voluntary after all.” Flash sighed. “Well, if you want to turn the other cheek I’ll respect that. But if Clark does return, I’m in half a mind court-martial him. Right now, I need to get back to the Castle, Twilight might get moody with me gone.” “Good night, sir.” Steel saluted. “And thank you.”