//------------------------------// // 1.21- Healing // Story: The Empress Returns // by iowaforever //------------------------------// Healing Twilight woke with a start, giving a small yelp as she tightened her grip around her sheets. Sweat dripped from her body, and her breath came out in ragged gasp. Images of her dream still lingered, haunting her as she tried to reinforce that she was awake, the monsters could not hurt her, she was fine... Hollow words, only. The dreams would return in time. “Why...” she mumbled. “It’s over; why can’t I just get back to normal?” “Um... Twilight? Are you okay?” Twilight snapped upright, turning quickly to survey her surroundings. She was in her library, Celestia’s sun still high in the air, and standing at the top of her stairs was Spike, the young dragon looking quite concerned. “Are you having bad dreams again?” “S-spike?!” she stammered. “I-it’s you?!” “Are you sure everything’s okay?” Spike started again. “You seemed pretty upset, and-” he never got a chance to finish, for Twilight had leapt out of bed and pulled him into a tight hug, tears of joy streaming down her face. “Oh Spike, it was horrible!” she said. “I had this awful dream that I was alone, surrounded by horrible monsters, and... so much death...” “Whoa, Twilight, take it easy,” Spike said. “It’s gone now, right? Maybe we could write to Princess Luna and she can clear up your dreams again.” “Maybe, but for now-” she pulled Spike tighter. “Let’s just spend some time together. No dreams, no monsters, just us.” the silence was broken by a voice calling from down in the library. “Spike, is Twi awake yet?” Applejack?! Twilight quickly broke away from Spike, giving a small apology before practically throwing herself over the banister. They were all there. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, all of them were standing down in the main room, looking up at her. “We didn’t startle you, did we?” Fluttershy asked. “No, not at all!” Twilight focused her energy and teleported her and Spike down to ground level, not hesitating for a moment before pulling them all into a tight hug. “I-It feels like I haven’t seen you guys in years!” “Oh dear, then these dreams really must be serious,” Rarity said, squirming a little so she could get to a better hugging position. “But it’s okay now. I’m awake, I’m home, and I’m with my friends.” Twilight gave a small sniffle. “I-I really don’t know what I would do without you all.” “Do you?” a new voice asked. Twilight opened her eyes, giving a little gasp as she found her friends, her library, all of it gone. She was standing on a flat, violet disc, her only companion being a human at the opposite end. No, not a human; it was far too tall and thin to be a human. It was dressed in a checkered outfit, its face hidden behind a twisted clown mask. The only facial feature Twilight could see were a pair of long, pointed ears just behind the mask, hidden slightly behind a styled mane of red hair. “Who are you?” Twilight rose to her feet. “Who are you, and what have you done with my friends?!” “Do you truly know what you are capable of? What path lies before you?” the figure asked, ignoring Twilight’s questions. “What are you willing to sacrifice for the true safety of your friends?” Twilight would have answered, but found herself waking up once more. She was laying in a large room, beneath a ceiling that resembled two eagles flying towards each other. The air was thick with incense, the low hum of choral music barely drowning out the rumble of machinery outside. She was dressed in a thin white robe, a little heavier than a hospital gown but nothing that could withstand extended use, and she shivered as a draft hurried down the hall. Twilight was back in the Imperium of Man. And all the memories of before returned as well. She shuddered, rolling up to a seated position and pulling her knees into her chest. It all came back; Inquisitor Markos, the orks, all of it came as a rushing tide that Twilight could not drive from her mind. There was nothing, nothing, that compared to what she had seen. And the others... that they would be so unaffected by one of their own friends being struck down. What in the name of Celestia was wrong with this place?! Twilight’s thoughts were broken by a shift from the foot of her bed. There was a pause before a Sister of Battle rose up from beneath, blinking a few times in surprise as she spotted Twilight. “Lady Tara, forgive me,” Sister Ruth said. “I was praying for your speedy recovery.” “Oh,” Twilight said after a moment, straightening out a bit. “Thank you.” “Are you well? My Sisters and I saw that you were in great distress during your... ‘psychic burnout’, Lord Mattias called it.” Ruth got back to her feet and cocked her head to one side. “Is there any more that we can do?” “Any more...” Twilight repeated the phrase. “... how?” “How what? I am not certain as to what you mean-” “How can you live like that?” Twilight asked. “The death, the loss, all of it. How can you keep moving forward like nothing of note has happened?” “Because that’s only a small part of the reality that we have to face every day.” Both Twilight and Ruth turned as Mattias strode into the room. “The Sisters, Alexis and Nikolai, myself, we have all seen horrors and bloodshed that would make what you saw look like nothing more than a schoolyard scuffle. The universe is a harsh, uncaring realm, and the only way that any of us can survive is to become numb to what we have seen.” a pause. “I know it sounds harsh, but this is our reality.” Twilight said nothing, turning away from the two and staring off into space as she processed what Mattias had said. “Sister, may I have a moment alone with Tara?” “I will be waiting outside if you require my assistance.” Ruth turned and left, mumbling a small prayer under her breath before she disappeared from view. There was a lengthy pause before Mattias sat down at the foot of Twilight’s bed. “Do you know how long you have been unconscious?” Mattias asked. “I... I don’t know.” Twilight shook her head. “All I remember was... Markos... a-and then I saw Veronica...” Twilight looked to Mattias, panic rising. “Veronica, is she alright?!” “Sister Veronica was critically injured, but has recovered well.” Mattias gave a small sigh. “Tara, you’ve been unconscious for almost a week.” Twilight’s heart dropped down into her stomach, what little composure remaining shattering further. “I-I couldn’t have...” Twilight mumbled. “It feels so-” “Clear?” Mattias finished. “You would not be the first to think that way after a baptism of fire. But yes, you’ve been unconscious for a week; a bit extreme even for psychic blackout, but Sister Bianca and the medicae are well versed in dealing with such matters.” Twilight looked away again, trying to process all that she had just heard. A week. A week since she had been through hell, or at least a small bit of it. A week since she saw Markos die, Veronica almost die, all her companions acting in cold detachment... and Princess Celestia, what of her? “Princess...” she mumbled, tears forming in her eyes again. “You mentioned a princess just before you passed out,” Mattias said. “What of it? A noble on your home planet, perhaps?” Twilight chewed her lip, trying to think of how best to respond. “... someone close to you?” “... I-It doesn’t matter.” A bad lie, but Twilight needed to move on. “The Empress, what of her?” Mattias’ face seemed to fall slightly, but the moment passed. “The Empress has won victory after victory against the Greenskins since arriving,” he said. “She is currently leading an attack against one of the major ork fortresses still on Caesaria. I’ve sent for Deathwatch Kill Teams to assist with the cleanup operations, but we are still looking at a few months of fighting and rebuilding before we can move to our next destination.” “Has she been here to see me?” Twilight asked. There was a lengthy pause, Mattias giving a sigh. “It’s different than when you were a student, Tara,” Mattias began. “The Empress is a busy woman, and must stay focused on the war-” “She’s made time before!” Twilight snapped suddenly, turning to face Mattias. “Sh-she’s made time... I-I’ve always been there for her, and s-she’s been there for me...” Twilight turned away again, tears coming more freely. “She’s made time...” There was another pause, Mattias watching in silence as Twilight wept. Surrounded by death and destruction, her only source of familiarity off indulging in that which had driven Twilight to this state... “I understand you are still shaken by the events of the last week,” Mattias said, rising to his feet before continuing. “My squad and the Sisters will be here if you need anyone to talk to. I have a few more duties to attend to once the Deathwatch arrive.” “Always duty...” Twilight said. “Everyone’s always so focused on fighting and killing. Doesn’t anyone here know how to be a regular human?” “I do not know what you mean by that.” Mattias replied as he stepped from the room. “In the sense you are familiar with, we may seem abnormal. But understand, this is the reality that humanity finds itself in; we must act in whatever manner keeps us from falling to despair and desperation.” With that Mattias was gone, leaving Twilight alone for several moments before Sister Ruth came back in. “I do not eavesdrop, my lady,” the Sister said. “But I could not help but overhear you shouting a bit. Is there anything more I can help you with?” “I... I don’t know.” Twilight turned away, drawing her legs back up again. “I just feel... alone, lost.” “None of us are ever truly alone,” Ruth replied. “We may feel lost, but the light of the Empress is always there for those who seek it.” “But she’s-” Twilight cut herself off. Ruth was only trying to help; arguing theology and divinity would not be beneficial for either of them. She instead thought of a different approach. “I guess I wish she were here right now... there’s a lot I feel I need to ask her about.” “I’m sure that will come in time. For now, though, perhaps prayer might work?” a pause. “I-I can help you if you’d like. Counseling with prayer was always something my Sister Superiors encouraged when I was in training, and while you are... ‘unspiritual’... it might help you get a better feeling of how to deal with such encounters.” Twilight hesitated again. Celestia was not a god... or at least, did not indulge in claiming to be one. Prayer might have been a means to get her thoughts out of her mind, but to actually get Celestia’s help seemed to be a bit of a stretch. But then the Imperium had sworn by it for fifteen thousand years, five thousand without Celestia at all; surely there was something to the act that made it effective. The rational part of Twilight ruled against it, but the curious part of Twilight, the wounded and scared part of Twilight, that was more willing to try. “...Okay.” Sister Ruth nodded and crossed to Twilight, kneeling before her and taking her hands. Twilight hesitated, feeling exposed as Ruth took her hands, but eventually reached some semblance of being relaxed. “Most blessed and holy God Empress,” Ruth said. “We ask that you be with us in this place, to pass understanding and calm to those who are troubled. Listen now to your servant, O Master of Humanity, and bless us with your power and majesty. Young Tara, your faithful servant and student, seeks guidance and comfort in her time of woe; we beseech you, O Empress, grant her the eyes to see through the lies of despair, that she might step back into your light and serve your Imperium fully.” Twilight sat in silence, listening as Ruth said her prayer. Harsh as it was, there was an earnestness behind Ruth’s words that made it feel... possible. “Ruth, does the Empress ever answer your prayers?” Twilight asked. Ruth paused for a moment and looked up at Twilight. “I would like to think that She does,” Ruth replied. “Though often not in ways I may understand, or even appreciate. The Empress is all powerful and omnipresent in our lives, true enough, but we mortals must still act to see that any of Her Will is fully carried out. If we merely take the good and not the bad, we lose the part of Her message that ultimately makes us stronger.” “But how do you know she’s answered you?” “Judith would say that ‘we pray for success in battle, and we’ve never lost or died, so She must answer us’.” Ruth rolled her eyes. “Her irreverence can be baffling at times, but I suppose there is some method to her madness. But it is not just a matter of yes or no, but a complex analysis of the world around me, not just success in battle or the death of Mankind’s enemies.” a pause. “It might take time, but eventually you can find an answer.” It did not make a whole lot of sense. In fact, it seemed a lot like blind faith grasping at whatever straws could be found; at least Pinkie Sense had some observable phenomena behind it, rather than just assuming that it had happened and moving on. Celestia was still one person, and there was no way she could hear or respond to billions of prayers like a true god. What are you willing to sacrifice for the true safety of your friends? The words of her “visitor” came back to her mind. Was her old mindset, that of harmony and reason between people, what she was supposed to give up? Was she to embrace the rampant militarism of the Imperium and become but another weapon in its seemingly infinite arsenal? Would she be willing to sacrifice all that she was, just so she could understand and survive the Imperium? As she listened to Ruth praying, Twilight pondered.   ...   The last Vindicator fired, and the walls of the ork fortress came crashing down. Already Celestia, her Custodes, and almost a company’s worth of Imperial Guard veterans and stormtroopers were charging towards the gap, Celestia using her powers to shield her compatriots from incoming fire. Armed with flamers, the Guardsmen surged forward against the Greenskins, even the most eager to fight falling to curtains of burning prometheum. Inside the base, the Raven Guard had already struck against the inner gun emplacements, the young Captain of the Astartes dueling a Warboss near a knocked out flakk gun. Celestia turned her attention towards the center, where a Big Mek armed with an equally large gun was barking orders to orks and grots in an attempt to rally his defenses. The Custodes moved forward, forming a golden wall between the orks and the Guard. The veterans moved into the gaps to strike back, high-powered lasbolts and flames striking the orks as they slammed against the Custodes. Celestia kept her shield up, searching for a more opportune moment to unleash her power against the Greenskins. The Big Mek readied his gun, light collecting around one of the many barrels strapped to it as the beast aimed towards Celestia. She redirected more of her power to the shield just as the ork fired, a brilliant beam of red streaking forward while the Mek reeled back from the recoil. The laser exploded against the shield, Celestia’s power holding but not enough to prevent a small cascade of miniature lightning bolts from raining down on the less well-armored Guardsmen. Some deflected off the veterans’ carapace armor, but others found only cloth and left screaming, burned victims in their wake. The orks were getting crafty. Celestia’s patience had worn even thinner. “Advance forward and keep those orks focused away from the Guardsmen,” Celestia said. “I will deal with the leader.” The Custodes did not say anything, raising their weapons and pressing back against the Greenskins. The first rank of aliens faltered under the weight of their new assault, but the second gleefully crashed into the golden warriors, bellowing out their war cries even as they were cut down. The Big Mek turned his gun towards the melee, cackling as he charged up another shot at both Custodes and orks alike. Celestia shifted her power, conjuring a fireball before releasing it towards the ork. The Greenskin had already fired, the beam exploding among the fighters and striking down three Custodes along with a score of orks, and did not have enough time to turn and deal with the onrushing psychic attack from Celestia. The flames washed over the Mek and his companions, holding there for several seconds before dissipating, leaving behind small piles of charred bones. With that bastion of fire eliminated, the Custodes and Guard could advance much more rapidly, their momentum slowly building to a full rout as the orks tried and failed to fight back against the humans. “Empress!” Celestia paused for a moment, turning to face the new arrival. To her surprise, Inquisitor Mattias and his entourage approached, the young man bowing low before continuing. “My squad and I have come to lend whatever help we can in mopping up the orks. I have also managed to secure two Deathwatch Kill Teams for further operations; they will arrive within a week or two, if all goes well.” “Good,” Celestia nodded. “But I had assumed you would stay with the fleet, and with Tara.” “She has awoken, but still needs a little more time in the infirmary. As for staying with her, I do not believe she wishes to speak with me right now. She did, though, inquire about your actions and location.” Celestia’s spirits rose. Twilight was awake; it might have been simple magic overload, but the powers of the Warp were never anything to take lightly. As for why she would remain silent for Mattias... “I will speak with her.” Celestia said. “The battle is well in hand, and I shall only be away for a few minutes.” “As you wish, Empress,” Mattias said. “Though be warned; Tara seems quite distraught about what she has witnessed and might not be the most reasonable. You know her far better than I, so perhaps you might be able to reach her better than I could.” Celestia made no further comment, merely striding past Mattias so she could focus her power once more before teleporting. “Bridge,” she said through her vox. “I will be teleporting back to the ship; make sure all preparations are ready for my arrival.” There was a quick reply, Celestia not waiting long before she released her power. The air shimmered for a moment before Celestia found herself on the battleship’s teleport pad, several more Custodes squadrons preparing to travel down to Caesaria while serfs and other crewmembers continue to prep and adjust whatever heavy machinery remained unattended. Celestia spoke to no one as she strode off the pad and down the hall, only giving the slightest of nods as those around her greeted her with bows or small whispers of praise. Her duties as Empress could wait a little longer. For now, she needed to be there for Twilight. The infirmary was further from the teleport pad than she would have liked. Precisely teleporting there could have worked, but if Twilight was still recovering it would have caused more distress than the young woman needed. Celestia walked in silence for several minutes, pouring over what she would say once she came face-to-face with her student once more. Be calm and reassuring, as always, she thought. Twilight will be fine... Celestia approached the infirmary, noting Sisters Naomi and Rebecca standing guard just outside. The two Sororitas pulled themselves to attention as Celestia appeared. “Empress, we are honored by your presence.” Sister Naomi said. “The honor is all mine,” Celestia said, coming to a stop just outside the door. “I heard that one of your Sisters was injured as well.” “Sister Veronica,” Naomi continued. “She was struck by one of the Greenskins during our operation to rescue Lady Tara. She is recovering quickly, though.” “I believe she and Sister Judith are with Tara now.” Rebecca said. “Poor girl... she was quite distraught about all that has happened. Even my offer of tea has not been too successful.” Celestia frowned, but said nothing at first. She expected that Twilight’s first encounter with battle would be frightening, but not to this extent. “I will speak with her.” Celestia said. “Guard the door until I return.” the two Sisters nodded as Celestia stepped through the doorway. Judith and Veronica were on Twilight’s right, the latter propped up on a rolling bed, speaking to Twilight about something Celestia could not make out at first. As she drew closer, the conversation became more clear. “... And with the prayers of her Sisters and the might of the Emperor behind her, Celestine rose up and struck down the Betrayer, rescuing Armageddon from the clutches of Chaos once more.” Sister Judith finished. “I always loved hearing that story when I was in training.” “But how?” Twilight asked. “Celestine was dead, but then managed to come back to life on prayer alone?” “Prayer, and her own will to protect Humanity,” Veronica replied. “Celestine was touched by the Emperor Himself when she first died centuries ago, a small bit of His power intermingling with her soul. When threatened once more, her desire to survive and protect was more than enough to ignite that power and defy death itself. The prayer just added a little more strength to ensure Celestine survived the battle.” “And are you sure that’s how it happened?” Twilight asked. “Did Celestine say anything about the encounter?” “Unfortunately, Celestine disappeared during the Battle of Terra,” Judith looked crestfallen. “What she saw on Armageddon is lost to us; only she and the Empress know how it truly happened.” Judith glanced up, spotting Celestia and perking up almost instantly. “Speak, and she will appear!” “Apologies, I did not mean to interrupt.” Celestia said. “I thank you for looking after Tara.” “It was our pleasure, Empress,” Veronica said. “Anything to assist the Student of the Empress with her troubles.” “No doubt.” Celestia nodded. “If you would please, I would like to speak with Tara alone for a little while.” “Of course.” Judith hopped to her feet and moved behind Veronica’s bed. “Come, Veronica! We must venture forth to new sites of this infirmary!” “I do not believe such a thing exists...” Veronica mumbled, though Celestia could see the hint of a smile on the injured Sister’s lips. “Then we shall create some. The Empress guides us on!” and with that Judith began pushing Veronica away, moving at a slower pace so as not to disturb her Sister further. Celestia waited until the two were out of earshot before turning her attention to Twilight, who had not turned to face her when Celestia had arrived. “They seem like a fine group of Sisters,” Celestia said. “Not unlike your friends back in Ponyville, no?” Twilight did not answer, still staring off into space as Celestia’s unease grew. “Are you feeling better, Twilight? I understand that psychic backlash can be harrowing, but it has cleared now, yes?” still no answer, Celestia’s face falling. “Please, Twilight, it is okay to talk to me.” “... Do you answer prayers?” Twilight said, still not looking up. There was a pause as Celestia tried to come up with an answer, each one worse than the last. “What brought up this line of thought?” Celestia asked. “That doesn’t matter right now,” Twilight replied. “I just want to know the truth. Do you answer prayers?” Celestia fell silent again. Her hand flexed for several moments before she spoke. “... I hear many,” She said finally, lowering her head slightly. “Due to the circumstances of my birth, I am far more attuned to the Warp than almost any other psyker. As it is a well of souls, so those souls can call out and send messages through it. It was more pronounced during my ten thousand years on the Golden Throne, but... I do hear them, Twilight. With my powers, I can even respond to a few of them. “But do not think that makes me a god, in the sense that the people of the Imperium think.” Celestia raised her head. “If there is a true god, and there are times I almost convince myself there is, I am not it... if anything, I am certain that they would despise me for all that I have done.” Twilight fell silent again, Celestia giving another sigh. “Does that answer your question for you?” “... If that’s true, why do you keep going?” Twilight asked. “Why do you allow others to worship you like this? Why do you tolerate a society that so gleefully revels in violence and bloodshed?” Twilight turned and looked to Celestia. “I know it’s selfish of me to ask this, but why didn’t you help me?” “Twilight, I...” Celestia stopped herself. “I... I learned long ago that humans, for better or worse, must look up to something greater than themselves, of which religion is but one avenue. To deny them of that is to encourage them to crave it all the more, and thus invite Chaos into their lives... among other corruptions.” Celestia looked away. “I would love a chance to turn back the atrocities and madness that have engulfed the Imperium, but I do not think I am capable of that...” Twilight said nothing, silence reigning between them for several minutes. “But I am here now, and I see that my actions have caused you harm.” Celestia looked to Twilight. “I can send you back to Equestria now.” “But how will you get back?” Twilight asked. “Didn’t you say you needed a conduit to return to Equestria?” “I will find a way... I always have.” Celestia responded. “It would be a simple process. Return to Equestria, tell Luna everything that transpired here. If all goes well, I should return to you soon, and you will be safe from the horrors of this world.” “No.” Celestia blinked in surprise. “Twilight, I am only trying to help you-” “And what about yourself?!” Twilight snapped. “You expect me to just go home and be safe while you put your life on the line for these people, for Equestria as well? You said that humans have a desire to believe in something greater than themselves, well ponies believe in that too!” Twilight got to her feet looking up at Celestia as she continued. “I believe in you. I believe you are a kind, wise mare, who has only ever looked after her subjects. I believe in helping those that need help, of spreading the very ideals of friendship and trust that you told me to learn. Are you going to deny me that chance, the chance to try and fix something so horribly broken as this empire?” Celestia worked her jaw for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. “I’m not going back. Not until your mission is done and the Imperium is safe again.” silence returned, the two staring at one another patiently. “It will only get worse,” Celestia started. “The battles here will only pale in comparison to what may await you.” “I know,” Twilight replied. “But I will overcome this. I have my friends, and I have you... don’t I?” more silence, and then Celestia sighed. “If that is your wish, then I will not oppose it.” Celestia said. “But understand, I will not always be there to rescue you when the universe turns against you. I am still only one person, and even with all my power I cannot keep watch over everything.” “... I know. But then, these people find power in communing with you, even if you don’t always answer.” Twilight let a small hint of a smile form, but it vanished soon after. “Maybe there’s a method to their ‘madness’.” “But...” Celestia stopped herself as a second voice drifted into her mind. “It is a dangerous road you travel. To deny humanity a thing will only make them crave it all the more. And if you succeed in this grand vision of yours? What then?” ... Damn you. “Very well.” Celestia said. “I assume you will need a little more time to rest. Once you are ready, we will need to further your magical training.” Twilight gave a short nod, settling back on her bed as Celestia made to leave. Twilight was walking a dangerous path, perhaps... but then, she was never one to just run away from danger. And Celestia had seen what happened when one remained ignorant of the dangers ahead. All she could do now was watch and wait. And, as silly as it seemed, pray.