//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5. 
// Story: I AM Human 
// by Synthetic Soul 
//------------------------------//

The clitter clatter of silverware being used by the two Princesses during their breakfast was the only sound emanating in the room. Celestia and Luna ate their meals in silence, avoiding eye contact. Neither pony had mentioned last night’s events since they had woken up, but the tension from it still weighed down on them. 

  

            About half way through, Celestia cleared her throat, drawing Luna’s attention. 

  

            “Would you like me to accompany you?” questioned Celestia in regards to Luna’s therapist appointment. 

  

            “No,” replied Luna quietly. “I can manage on my own.” 

  

            “Are you sure? I’d be more than happy to come with you for support.” 

  

            “I’ll be fine Tia. I promise, I’ll be fine,” replied Luna with a ghost of a smile. 

  

            “Alright, I won’t pressure you.” 

  

            “Thank you sister.” Luna looked at the clock on the wall to see it was now 12:00. She swiftly finished what was left of her breakfast, and rose from her chair. “Well, I better get going now. Wouldn’t want to be late, now would I?” 

  

            “Of course not,” replied Celestia with a warm smile. “I will be here when you return.” Luna offered her sister a thankful look, before she turned and made her way out of the room, leaving the solar Alicorn alone. 

  

            “I do hope this helps her,” said Celestia to herself. Just then, a servant arrived, carrying with her a porcelain teapot. 

  

            “More tea, Princess?” questioned the servant. 

  

            “Oh, yes, please,” replied Celestia, levitating her cup up for the mare. The unicorn raised the teacup, and poured the steaming beverage into the cup.  

  

            “Thank you,” said Celestia, before taking a sip. 

  

            “Of course. Anything for you, Princess.” 


   



  

            Luna stood hesitantly in front of the door to the therapist’s office. It was a standard office located within a larger building that contained multiple businesses. On the door was a gold plaque that read; Feelgood, P.H.D. 

  

            The Lunar princess looked left and right to see if anypony was watching her, before she used her magic to open the door. She stepped inside, quickly shutting the door behind her. Inside, she found herself in a rather well refurbished waiting room, equipped with comfortable looking seating, a magazine rack, and a coffee maker. Between to doors on the far wall was a round desk, with a receptionist pony sitting behind it. The pony was an earth pony mare, with cream colored fur, and a blue mane, tied up in a bun. 

  

            Luna walked up to the receptionist, who upon hearing the clip clop of her hooves, looked up to see the princess. A look of slight surprise crossed her face, as she saw who it was in front of her.  

  

            “P-princess Luna?” questioned the mare. 

  

            “Hello, miss…” Luna paused to look at the nameplate that sat in front of the mare. “Miss Soft Melody. I have a 12:30 appointment with Dr. Feelgood.” 

  

            “Ah, yes of course. Let me just go tell the doctor that you’re here. One moment.” The mare left reception desk, and went through the door on Luna’s right. A minute later the mare returned through the door on the left, retaking her place behind the receptionist counter. “All right Princess, you’re all set. Just go on through to the door on your right. His office is also on the right.” 

  

            “Thank you,” said Luna. She then opened the door and made her way to the counseling room. She knocked on the door gently.  

  

            “Come in,” came a male voice from the other side. Luna opened the door, and entered. She stepped inside to see a unicorn stallion sitting on a chair. He had grey fur, and a brown mane and tail. He was dressed in a brown blazer, and a sand colored sweater. The stallion, Dr. Feelgood, looked up from the papers he was reviewing to see the Princess. 

  

            “Ah, Princess Luna! Good to see you, here have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the couch across from him. Luna did as she was asked, and made her way to the seat, before sitting down. The two sat in silence for few seconds, as the doctor adjusted his seating position. Then he spoke. 

  

            “So Princess, your sister told me you were having some…problems, that you wanted to talk about.” 

  

            Luna nodded silently. 

  

            “Would you care to tell me what happened?” 

  

            Luna was hesitant; she looked like she was about to break down again. But she swallowed her grief enough to begin telling the doctor what was bothering her. 

  

            “I…I made a mistake. One that has…caused a lot of pain. For myself, and for my family.” Luna stopped there, descending into a painful silence. 

  

            “Take all the time you need,” said the doctor. Luna took a breath, and nodded. 

  

            The Princess then began regaling what had happened to Dr. Feelgood. She told him of how years ago she had had a child, of whom through circumstance, she had to raise single-hoofedly. She then explained the incident with Discord, which had separated them, and the deep anguish it had caused her. 

  

            Luna went on about how she learned he was alive, being raised by another family. 

  

            “I felt…jealousy…anger…my son was taken from me, and given to another mother and father. And he loved them as much as I loved him. He didn’t even know his father or I existed! And that…it tore me up inside…” 

  

            “I see,” said the doctor, jotting down notes on a notepad. “Continue.” 

  

            Luna did as she was asked, and spoke more about her experience. How after years of longing for her child, she had eventually found a way to bring her son home. A feeling of hope and joy was born in her, one she hadn’t felt since her son had been with her. She told the doctor how she had brought her son back with a magic spell. 

  

            Luna then spoke of how her son reacted to his arrival in Equestria with anger. He hated her for taking him away from his home. He hated her for trying to take the place of his human mother. She told the doctor of how he ran away, how he battled with her and her sister, and how he lost his memory. 

  

            “When he said he didn’t remember anything, I…I…” Luna was starting to tear up. 

  

            “If you need a minute, that’s perfectly fine,” said the doctor. 

  

            “I-I’m fine,” replied Luna. She took a few seconds to compose herself, then continued. 

  

            “I guess, when he lost his memory, I had two options. I could tell him the truth. But by doing that, I would remind him of his anger towards me, and that he’d just be stuck in a foreign world with no way back. I thought he would feel even worse then. So I told him that he had been living in Equestria with me his whole life, hoping that I could build new, good memories with him, so that even if he did remember the truth, he’d at least feel a little less animosity towards me. I knew it was wrong to lie to him, but I just…I wanted a chance to be his mother again….” 

  

            “Is that why you’ve been feeling so guilty?” questioned Dr. Feelgood. “You regret lying to him?” 

  

            “Yes, but what I regret more is what happened next.” 

  

            “What happened?” 

  

            “He eventually remembered everything. His human parents, my taking him away from his home, everything. All the pain that I caused came back to him. I didn’t find out he remembered until it was too late. When I found him, he was using an old magical artifact to enhance his magic. He attempted…he tried to use a spell to send himself home, but…it didn’t work…” 

  

            “Was he hurt?” questioned the therapist carefully. 

  

            “He was killed,” replied Luna. The doctor’s eyes widened. He sat there taking in the information that Luna had told him, while the Princess herself broke down crying. 

  

            “I-I-I’ve been unable to think of anything else since then! The guilt and sadness have been overwhelming! And I can’t…I can’t…” Half a minute passed before Luna was able to finish. “I just can’t take it anymore,” she sobbed into her foreleg. The doctor sat there, thinking, while Luna composed herself. It took a few minutes, but eventually they were ready to continue. 

  

            “Princess Celestia told me that there was…an incident yesterday. She told me you…attempted to kill yourself.” 

  

            Luna nodded. 

  

            “Princess…I have to admit, I’m a bit at a loss at what to say. Most ponies I help that suffer from depression haven’t had, well, as much reason to be depressed as you. None of them have done anything…well, as extreme as what you have.” 

  

            Luna’s breathing hitched, and the room went quiet as she listened to what the doctor had to say. 

  

            “To be honest, I’m not sure what I can tell you. I’m not saying you did anything with intent to hurt…but regardless of your intentions, your actions did result in the death of your son. I can’t tell you what you did wasn’t wrong, but, well what’s done is done.” 

  

            ‘I knew it. He’s saying exactly what I thought he was going to say.’ 

  

            The weight on Luna’s conscious only grew heavier. 

  

            “Princess Luna, we make mistakes. But this isn’t the your first. If I am correct, you also had an incident which resulted in you becoming the mythical Nightmare Moon.” 

  

            Luna felt as though her chest were caught in a vice. 

  

            ‘My two greatest mistakes…both thrown right in my face…I feel so….so….’ 

  

            “Normally, I’d try to talk you through what you’re feeling, but really, I don’t know how. This situation is a bit above my pay grade.” 

  

            “I…I see,” said Luna, her eyes downcast.  

  

            “I’m sorry Princess, but I’m not sure how to help you.” 

  

            “Ok.” 

  

            The two sat in silence for several moments, as Luna took in everything. 

  

            ‘I’m a villain…. I’ve always been a villain. It may take a thousand years, but sooner or later, I slip up again.’ 

  

            Luna closed her eyes, and fought back tears. 

  

            ‘I should have stayed on the moon.’ 

  

            Luna wiped the moisture out of her eyes, before standing up. 

  

            “Thank you anyways, doctor.” 

  

            “Of course Princess. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help,” replied the doctor. He led the Princess out of the office, and escorted her back to the empty waiting room. 

  

            “You won’t be charged for this session, Princess, being as it didn’t do any good.” 

  

            “Alright,” replied Luna, defeated. She shambled her way to the door of the doctor’s office. She opened it, and left without another word.             

  

            Once she was sure she was gone, the receptionist spoke up. 

  

            “How did it go, Doctor?” 

  

            “Exactly as planned,” replied the stallion. 

  

            “I shall relay this to the Queen,” said the mare. 

  

            “Good. I’ll go take care of our friend.” The stallion went through the door, entering the hallway that led to his office. But instead of going through the door on the right, he went to the end of the hall, where there was another door. He opened it and stepped inside. Shutting the door behind him, he turned to face a gagged stallion, tied to a chair. Dr. Feelgood looked at the stallion who mirrored his appearance. He chuckled, before addressing his captive. 

  

            “You’ve really lost your touch doctor. The Princess left feeling even worse than before,” he said with a smile. 

  

            “Now,” he said slowly, using his magic to levitate a flip knife from his jacket. The Real Dr. Feelgood’s eyes widened, as he started to attempt to yell through his gag. 

  

            “Sorry doc, but I can’t have you easing the Princess’s worries. Now, try not to move too much. I need to cut you cleanly.” 


   



  

            Luna trudged through the castle halls, her head hanging low. She had returned from her session feeling worse than before. 

  

            ‘I feel like the worse pony on earth. Worse than Sombra, worse than Tirek. I shouldn’t eve be allowed to walk these halls.’ 

  

            Just as Luna turned the corner, she bumped into somepony else. She looked up to see none other than her sister standing in front of her. 

  

            “T-Tia?” muttered Luna, looking like a frightened child.  

  

            “Hello Luna. How was it?” 

  

            “It was just as I feared…the doctor couldn’t help, he could only further point out my sins,” said Luna, breaking down. She sniffled, before wrapping her forelegs around her sister. 

  

            “What am I to do sister? Everything just keeps getting worse! I can’t take it anymore!” 

  

            Celestia did not hug her sister back.  

  

            “What did he say?” questioned the Alicorn. 

  

            “He said he couldn’t help me, and that what’s done is done. He basically told me to just get over it, and I…I don’t know if I can…” 

  

            Celestia just stood there, silently listening to her sister. After a few seconds, she spoke. 

  

            “Luna, I’ve been thinking.” Luna disengaged from the hug, and looked up at her sister. 

  

            “Luna, what happened to Midnight was terrible, but there’s nothing we can do about it now. I’ve been thinking, and I really shouldn’t have helped you bring him here in the first place. For that, I take my share of the blame. But, I am tired of you playing at being the victim.” 

  

            Luna could not believe what she was hearing. Was her sister giving up on her? 

  

            “It was ultimately your choices that led to Midnight’s death. If you truly regret what you’ve done, then you should atone for it. But, I can’t focus my time on trying to help you through the guilt of your own actions. I have a country to run, and so do you. So, either get over it and step up to your responsibilities, or don’t. But I can’t waste anymore time on this.” 

  

            Luna felt as if she were caught in a nightmare. Her sister, the only pony she had left in the world no longer cared enough to help her. 

  

            ‘No…no, no, this cannot be happening…Celestia can’t…’ 

  

            Celestia walked around Luna and continued on her way. 

  

            “I have day court to attend. I shall see you later, sister.” 

  

            And with that, Celestia left Luna, standing in shock. As the sound of Celestia’s walking could be heard, Luna could only think one thing. 

  

            ‘Now…I am truly alone.’