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// Another Season of Stubbornness 
// Story: Letters from an Evil Empress 
// by zackepic22 
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My Utterly Adorable Student,
 
I take it from your most recent letter that you’ve finally gotten to see how truly stubborn the Apples can be? That’s why you should never dare them. I honestly never thought Granny would go for the whole ‘flying unicycle through a ring of fire’ ordeal. But, obviously, I learned very quick that the Apples have their pride, as well as the willpower to do anything they set their minds to. That’s why you should never mess with the Apple family.
 
But, before we talk further about that, I really want to talk with you about how that trophy ceremony went.
 
From what I’ve heard, you let your friends interrupt your speech at every conceivable point. You never ever got to finish it! You should have gotten very first turn, but, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy simply couldn’t help themselves, could they? And, neither could Mayor Mare, apparently, but, I thought that she was professional and patient enough to allow my favorite—yet overly sentimental—student to get through her speech fully. Yet, apparently, I was mistaken.
 
I really need to talk with her about that…
 
Anyway, you have no need to fear anymore, for, I myself have had moments where I needed to put my nobles in line. In one particular instance, where Jetset, Pink Slip, and a whole swath of other high class ponies were constantly interrupting my very important speech. Here are some very choice words I had for all of them.
 
‘By the gods above even me, I swear, if you do not shut your cake holes, you are going to regret it! Jetset, I don’t care about the fancy blouse your wife got at Marecy’s! Pink Slip, you are a terrible boss, and a terrible manager. There’s a reason none of your workers respect you at all. If I was the owner of your business, I would fire you not just a million times, but a trillion billion times! If I do not get through my speech in the next ten minutes, all your fancy mane- and taildos will burn! DO YOU HEAR ME?! BURN! YOU WILL HAVE TO WEAR TOUPEES AND TAILPEES FOR MONTHS!’
 
Well, I’ll be damned if that didn’t make the whole audience become as quiet as the grave. You see, Twilight? You have to stop caring about what other ponies think, if they won’t give you the simplest satisfaction of saying what you think. You can’t let other ponies push you around. Well, except for me, of course, maybe Nightmare. Infact, I know a self-help minotaur who should be stopping in town sometime this year. He’s a really good friend, and, I’ve always admired the cut of his jib. You should really check his seminars out. Heck, I can even convince him to let you attend one for free, if you want!
 
Now, back to the Apples.
 
Granny Smith is the matriarch, and truest power in the family. Most of the Apples still living today are either her children or grandchildren. The Ponyville Branch has some relation to the Oranges, who are a pretty wealthy Manehatten family, whom I am also pretty familiar with.
 
But, back to the Apples.
 
Granny can be adorable, but, don’t let that fool you. She can have her own mischievious moments, and, oh, do I ever love that so~
 
I don’t know as much about her grandchildren, but, she still writes, so, I think I know enough, and, I’ve met the older two at least once or twice. Macintosh may not talk much, but, he has a keen mind. He’s obviously the brains of the siblings. Applejack—your ‘friend’, though I’m guessing that word is starting to seem more fitting’—is definitely one of the most stubborn apples ever. Reminds me of both Granny, and their aunt Jonagold. That mare—their aunt Jonagold, I mean—set the record for tastiest apples in Fillydelphia, fifteen years running. And, she was just using her rusty old plow that entire time. Firm, stubborn, yet exceedingly clever. Granny really does know how to raise ‘em right.
 
The youngest one, Apple Plume, I think? I...Honestly don’t know much about her. She’s cute, I think? You probably know more than I do, since I assume you’ve met her at least once.
 
Anyway, I’m not as sure of Applejack being the right ally for you as of your most recent letter, but, like I said, she’s an Apple, and she can do anything she sets her heart on. You could really learn a lot from her. But, try not to let this happen too often. I don’t want Granny complaining about my personal protege. 
 
Oh, and, remember, Twilight Sparkle: Aggressive. Make all those would be interruptions fear you, and what you’ll do to them if they make you angry enough~
 
Still the best advice giver ever,
 
Empress Daybreaker
 
P.S.: Would you mind asking Granny if she could visit? I just realized after I finished writing that I really miss her. I have her favorite Canterlot Cider, so, that should be all the encouragement she nee-
 
OW!
 
Huh. I didn’t even know you had the patience or skill for training killer bees, sis.
 
I’m impressed.
 
Come on, lets go out for pie.
 
No, I won’t let them get away with serving soft crust pies again. The texture is the best part aside from the flavor, after all.
 
Yes, you can have as much Chocolate Cream Pie as you can eat.
 
Yeah, you can send them to the dungeon if they don’t give you a spork. Though, I still think forks are better.