Once again Twilight and the gang are back at the Council of Ricks Trading Hub or C.R.T.H., for some shopping and selling items they have picked up here and there. Which is made poissble thanks to Trixie finding a bunch of worlds center around games. As in the whole world follow the mindset that everything revolves around a game and nothing else matters. Each world was nothing but a planet of hats all following the rules of the game in question, and that no matter how powerful someone is in that world if they lose in a game the winner gets to take what they want or take that persons position in that world. (1)
Seeing a My Goddess world where everything is cannon but for the fact the entire world is base around the game of marbles. And that worlds Hild and Kami have been strip of their positions in ruling over the universe, just because they lost in a game of marbles. They still have their powers but won't do anything to take back power because they lost a game of marbles to a guy who is running the entire universe to the ground as he kept beating anyone who face him in a game of marbles.
So Trixie got behind the wheel of their Winnebago Minnie Winnie and drove into that world. Where she beat the guy in a game of marbles and restored everything back to how it was by giving them back their positions. Not to mention her going through their personal collections before hand and grabbing lots of powerful items from them and having both gods and demons fill the vault with treasure for saving the day. And before she handed power back she made a new rule that the game of marbles if the person who wins a position of power does a bad job it goes back to the loser.
Then after that Trixie got the rest of her group to go to other game worlds with the same hat. She beat the old gods in a Lovecraft world in the game of Chutes and Ladders. Faced the Greek gods in Connect 4, the Roman gods in a game of jacks, the Norse gods in Candy Land, the India gods in Operation, the Omni King of Dragonball in Rock Paper Scissors, the D&D gods in horseshoes, the gods of Elder Scrolls in ball and cup and God and the Devil from the world of 'God, The Devil and Bob' in a game of pong. To name a few of the really powerful people who gave up really powerful or valuable items just because they lost a game.
But the last one God sat Trixie down and had a long talk with her. Explaining why he has things being settled by a game of pong. And that she shouldn't take advantage of worlds like his, sure its easy for outsiders to win most of the time because they're not stuck in the mindset of the rest of the universe but it is a way of life for the people in those worlds. Trixie agreed to stop taking advantage of people like him, she would only do it to the ones who have it coming to them like villains. God just sighed and wish her luck before giving her the prize, but Trixie just gave it back saying she didn't earn it as she cheated by using cheat tricks. Which he told her he already knew and happy to see her being honest with him. (2)
"Well that was a fun trip," Trixie said as they walk to Moe's for something to eat.
"Yeah sure," Twilight said not listening as she has her eyes glued to her omni-tool screen.
"What are you doing?" Sunset ask.
"I'm studying the tech behind how to make powerful biofuel using plant matter," Twilight said.
"Why?" Naruto ask.
"When we get back to our homeworld. I'm going to be making some patents with some of the tech we been picking up here and there. So I'm studying the tech and making research papers to show my work so people back home will think I am the one who made it instead of me somehow stealing it," Twilight said.
"Trying to be as smart as Rick?" Kasumi ask.
"Him please. Almost all the Ricks are born with something like a 9th level intellect and depending on other factors turn out like the Rick we deal with. And just to remind you all, he is one of the nicer Ricks," Twilight said. (3)
"Well of the Ricks we have met so far anyways," Sunset said.
"If we meet that Doofus Rick we should use him," Twilight said.
"He seems nice but that's just from the show and doesn't he eat poop?" Kasumi ask.
"No he doesn't, well if he's anything like he is from the show," Trixie said having watched the dvd set and the creator saying Doofus Rick doesn't eat his own poop. (4)
"Well with me, I'm going to be practical in what I do. Besides there is no way I'm going to learn or do any kind of research into something like, finding out how many Mortys have to be tortured to create matrix of pain to hide from other Ricks. Or any other sick stuff that Rick knows for one reason or another, mostly because he doesn't have much value in life. Rick creates life forms just so he can experiment on them or use them as a power source for his car," Twilight explains.
"Not counting our downtime when we're in our homeworld we only been traveling for about 6 months," Sunset said.
"I can't be expected to become super smart in such a small amount of time. Well unless I get a brain upgrade or cyborg up so, I can just upload information. I'm smart but, I wasn't born super smart were I could talk and read before I could walk, I had to work for it to get where I am now. Not to mention how many branches of science he knows. Also some of them would be completely useless for me to learn," Twilight said. (5)
"And that before we began traveling you basically quit studying besides learning the technology of our homeworld," Trixie said.
"It was nice to spend a year not having to worry about anything going wrong around Ponyvile, or having to write a report, or pleasing the princess," Twilight said.
"That and you we're under doctor's orders not to stress yourself out," Sunset said.
"Which is why she has so many video games," Naruto said.
"Yes that's one reason. It was a way for her to vent out and relax. Then she became a gamer, which lead her learning all about computers so she can make her own mods on the computer games," Trixie said.
"So I'm more of a programmer then a builder, so what," Twilight said.
"I rather have that then her being like Dexter," Sunset said.
"You mean that kid with a laboratory in his room?" Trixie ask.
"Yes and after meeting him, and I mean an older version of him. That version became nothing but a shut in who made a living as a computer help center by phone. The majority of his experiments have no conceivable practical use and he had no intentions of them ever leaving his private underground lab. And all he could say why he does all that research and study, was FOR SCIENCE. I for one want to be more like Doctor Jones, knowing what he needs to know for his adventures," Twilight said.
"That and I don't want to deal with you building something like a machine to suck away all the air off a planet to give you a clearer view of the stars, even if that means everyone dies. Creating a magic powered machine that brainwashes anyone into what you want them to be. Making a bunch of bats from fruit eaters to killer meat eaters," Sunset said listing things off.
"Then there's creating a machine that recreates the Big Bang just to prove it happen that way, not caring it will destroy everything. A gravity machine that will either move the sun and the moon around, or turn the sun into a black hole. Seeing everyone around her as nothing but guinea pigs, turning them into something like chimeras for science. Or improving something that is already dangerous and deadly just to see what happens," Trixie also listed off.
"Let me guess all the things you listed off are what Twilight's counterparts have done," Kasumi said.
"Yes," Twilight said sulking.
"We viewed many worlds of our counterparts and Twilight counterparts tend to be single minded in what they do. Especially when it comes to what she thinks would please or impress the princess," Sunset said.
"That's why I change my lifestyle to be more then just the brains," Twilight said.
They enter Moe's for a bit to eat and saw a wide array of people from different worlds. They waited for one of the staff members to show them a free table, and to their surprise the staff member is a Lolth from a D&D world. She explains that she's from a world where she was defeated and was inflicted by a massive penance like stare that caused all of her sins to be used against her. And the person who did it who did it to her also trap her in a time loop, making her repeat the penance stare from start to finish over and over again. She doesn't remember how the time loop ended, only that afterwards she fled her universe in shame and guilt for all that she had done. Doing so she lost her powers, which happens to all gods and demons once they cross to a different universe that isn't just a branch of their main universe. And she ended up here at the hub and working for Moe.
"So you been working here ever since?" Kasumi ask.
"Yes and it's not that uncommon around here," Lolth said pointing to the kitchen where the group saw Trigon coming out with arms full of plates, and Darksied as a cook.
"Ok what happen with those two?" Sunset ask.
"From what, I heard Darksied was overthrown when his father Yuga Khan broke free and took back what is his, thanks to the help of someone name Skullmaster. Darksied was inflicted with torture, mind rapes, and other things that would just give you nightmares. To keep him from getting use to it, he was repeatedly mind wipe and his memories of the torture was saved. When he died his father just brought him back to life. Then his mind was completely wipe so he forgotten who he was, and his form was changed back to how he use to look before he rename himself as Darksied. He was place on a normal planet and lived a normal life even starting a family, till his father sent an invasion fleet to said planet in the name of Darksied. In short he lost the family, where he became a rebel leader fighting against an army he believed is being lead by Darksied, who he grew to hate. Then during the last battle where he stormed the main ship of the invasion, instead of meeting Darksied he met his father. Who restored his memories, form, and all the torture that he was put through. For the first time in his life, Darksied felt what it was life to be invaded and how it was like to be on the other end of his own evil deeds. The result was Darksied being completely broken with his mind shattering at the truth of who he is. He left the DC multiverse and ended up here," Lolth explains.
"What about Trigon?" Naruto ask.
"He was defeated by a rival demon lord who transformed him into the body of a weak human child. There with the body and mind of a human but the soul of a demon, he was at the mercy of all the other demons. He was given a immortal body that could never aged or die, which allowed the demons to do what they want with him. For eons he was sold and traded from one world to another He was mostly used as a toy by the other demons both male and females, and those who are both. Then there are those who found his soft and tender body sweet tasting," Lolth said.
"What?" Naruto ask.
"What she means is that some of my fellow demons enjoyed eating me," Trigon said having overheard Lolth talking about him.
Which brought back many nightmares that still haunted him. Often after the demons had their way with him to their satisfaction that would eat him. Like that one big, fat demon who had a mouth on his belly who swallowed him whole. Many of the demons loved to swallow him whole so that they could feel him struggling inside their belly, where their stomach acids ate away at him. Then he was pooped out where after awhile his body just reformed whole. Then there were the ones who enjoyed feeding him to their pets, like a pit filled with leeches, a giant clam, and other creatures. And no matter what happen to him, he always just came back, no matter how much he wished it to end. His mind turn inwards as the eons pasted, trying to find a reason why he was suffering as he was, why he was given this fate where he couldn't die. He entered the realm of madness where he met with the youngest of the Endless and was told by her maybe it's for all the evil he has done, is the reason why he was suffering. He insulted her for that, which she showed him that making an Endless inside their own realm angry is the last thing anyone should ever do, even with the Kindly Ones killing the first Dream and a new Dream replacing him, they would had never dared to try it while in his realm or before he finally allowed himself to feel guilt for what he did to his son. And allowed himself to be be killed by them, as while they are powerful they had waited till he was at his weakest to kill him. He was made to care, to care for all the evil that he had done, to feel guilt and shame. Then she left him, to suffer his fate.
Then one day while he was being used as a living power source in the mortal realm, he was saved by the team of heroes that his daughter was apart of. The realm of demons like him live in, time moved differently. For him eons had pasted but for his daughter just a few years had pasted for her. She and her friends defeated the demon lord and freed him, making him feel hope. His daughter's team of heroes made him feel not so worthless... they were willingly to give up their lives to save him and save whatever the demon lord was planning on doing, like maybe there's hope for him... and it terrified him. He quickly left so that his daughter wouldn't know who it was she had just saved, he couldn't face her. She is the only good thing he had ever left, to showed he was even alive and not something that brought fear, but hope.
"Short story I was changed by what I went through. And after being freed, I gave that life behind and ended up here," Trigon said.
"And you're back in demon form how?" Sunset ask.
"I paid a Rick to do it," Trigon stated.
"Oh," Sunset said.
"Your group is still new at traveling right?" Trigon ask.
"About 6 months of traveling give or take," Twilight said.
"Well get use to seeing people from fiction not being like they are," Trigon said before heading back to the kitchen.
"So what do you want?" Lolth ask taking their orders.
After Lolth got their orders she headed to the kitchen to give it to the cook. And while they were waiting, Twilight began scanning the different worlds they could visit next. Making sure that there be no big surprises waiting for them if they randomly jump to another world. Like that world where they met a Washsu from Tenchi Muyo, which was a huge mistake as that woman who seem to be a great replacement for Rick. Turned out to be very sex hungry who likes to wear leather and favorite prey are young women like them. She's smarter then Rick but what she wanted in payment was more then what they're willing to pay. Like when they met that witch Bayonetta, whose magic powers would be useful to learn but like Washsu wanted more of a personal payment.
'What's with older women being so sex hungry?' Twilight wonders as before they met Kasumi they seem to kept running into sex hungry older women. Made her glad they weren't trying to learn how to fight from one of those old pervert masters, which she guess was because most of them haven't spent much of their youth training and more training. By the time they became masters of their art they had wasted their youth and found themselves as old men who had made little in personal connections to others. And their long suppressed sex drives are making up for lost time. (6)
"Ah Twilight you and your group are back," Eskel the Witcher greeted her.
"Oh hi Eskel," Twilight said.
"Heard that your group went and cause a big mess with a Bleach and My Goddess crossover," Eskel said.
"How did you hear that?" Sunset ask.
"Hel's blog," Eskel said.
"Don't you mean Hild?" Naruto ask.
"No she's Hel from the original myth, the one who has half of her body alive and the other a corpse," Eskel explains.
"Wait isn't she suppose to be half white and half black?" Kasumi ask.
"Different version but the main thing to remember that those Hel's appeared long before the My Goddess versions. They see them and the ones from Marvel universes to be just sup up copies," Eskel said. "And the Hel whose blog I read has been following up what happening in that world. The gods and demons are being supervised by a Mary Poppins. I hate dealing with any of her counterparts, they're just so prefect in just about every way possible."
"Well they did cause the mess in the first place," Trixie said.
"There is also the blog that Belldandy been writing ever since he gave up her godhood to be with Keiichi, in one of those live as a mortal till death type of thing and comeback as a goddess but with the experience of living as a mortal," Eskel said.
"She's living as a mortal?" Twilight ask.
"Yes and living in Stardrew Valley which is a modern farming town with Keiichi going to a nearby college near there. Belldandy from her blog is still keeping in touch with her family by her blog and took up bee keeping to help in paying the bills. They also went to a license couple therapist who helped them with the issues they had with their relationship," Eskel said. (7)
"That's nice," Sunset said.
"Seeing how your group are into getting into a mess. How about joining the Witcher guild?" Eskel ask.
"No thanks. If we're not going to be going around to do that," Twilight said.
"Going around hunting down bounties isn't for us," Sunset said.
"And we're still new to this and some of the bounties, I have seen are way above our weight class," Trixie said.
"It's not all about those with wanted posters people like me get paid for. There are people and groups who would pay to see someone or something destroyed," Eskel said.
"Like what?" Naruto ask.
"There's a Samurai Jack or should I say Emperor Jack pays a bounty for anyone who if they come across a universe of is universe set in the past before Aku was given form and a mind, destroys the mindless pool of evil before what he went through even happen. And he's not the only one who pays bounties like that. There are plenty of people who go around and make sure the Xenomorphs never get created or stop humans from finding them," Eskel said.
"Well as we could do that," Twilight said. "But for really big stuff like stuff in Warhammer or Berserk we stay out of that."
"Those universes are for only vets," Eskel said. "I took part of a group hunt in Warhammer to deal with a warp tear opening to another universe. It was a complete nightmare even with the people I was with, only half of our group survived. We should had waited for one of the A or S rank members to come with us."
"Just one but isn't Warhammer known for having millions of soliders?" Sunset ask.
"Yes but some of the A rank members and most of the S rank members are one man armies. Able to turn the tide of battle, or able to take on a entire army without effort," Eskel said.
"What's a S rank like?" Naruto ask.
"Here let me show you," Eskel said as he used a Omni-tool to show them a video.
!
On the screen for those who seen the anime and the manga, is right out of Berserk. What was once rolling hills and blades of grass are replaced with human faces mashed together. The night sky is filled with black clouds; only the eclipsed sun is seen while it emits an unsettling dark magenta glow. The ponds are filled with blood, and the last, but not the least, geographical transformation occurs when the God Hand arrives. That transformation makes a gigantic hand and arm appear, which are made of a myriad of human faces. The hand settles itself as if to balance the eclipsed sun within its palm.
There the members of Godhand are watching their newest member becoming truly one of them. There is Void the oldest of the group and acting leader, Slan a sadomasochist who thrives on cruelty and the effect it has on others, but the last two have been replaced by twisted versions of Hild and Kami. And they're not alone.
Replacing Griffith is Celestin, replacing Guts and Casca are Keiichi and Belldandy. The Band of the Hawks are all but dead having been slaughtered and eaten by the Apostles. Now Keiichi having lost his left arm and right eye is being held down as he watch helplessly as Celestin rapes Belldandy in front of him. Right on cue came the Skull Knight riding in to the rescue. He immediately attack Void, who diverts the attack back at his assailant via a dimensional portal.
"You're too late," Void said to Skull Knight.
"Too late to stop you but not to put a stop to all of you," Skull Knight said.
"All alone?" Void ask.
"Not alone," Skull Knight said.
Coming out of the vortex that Skull Knight came out of, came a man riding down on a flying motorbike. He's dress in power armor that looks to be baseball termed, with the helmet looks like a baseball helmet and the armor looking like a uniform colored mainly yellow with black highlights. He's armed with a high tech looking baseball bat, gauntlets that cover both of his arms and was looks like a baseball like grenade bandolier. And his bike looks like it's carrying heavy weapons, and carrying the gear that he couldn't carry on himself.
"It's time to play ball," the man said.
!
"Wait a minute," Kasumi said blinking as she stared at the image of the man in the video who is single handily fighting all the demons at once and winning. "Is that who I think it is."
"Charlie Brown from the comics. Yes that's him. I help train him when he was younger and now he's one of the best of the guild, he's known in other guilds simply because of who he is and what he's usually is like. He trained wth just about every master you can think of learning either by training or by learning on his feet as he followed whoever was teaching him on a mission. The one who mentored him the most was Flash Gordon, teaching him how to deal with things and places he never dealt with before," Eskel said.
"He was mentored by Flash Gordon? No wonder he's so good," Kasumi said. (8)
"Especially seeing how that Flash's universe is a crossover one with just about every single space fiction you can think of in it. Name it and he has dealt with before," Eskel said.
"If we join the guild do we have to do anything?" Twilight ask.
"For 10 percent of the bounty the guild handles the paperwork and claiming the bounty to the person or group who is paying. Also if you're in a jam you can transmit a S.O.S. for help from any guild member whose near you, with you doing the same for anyone who is calling for help. If you want that you can apply to have that option when you sign up," Eskel explains.
"Well, I guess we can just join if it's to do bounties when we can," Twilight said.
"Yeah, I'm don't want to just be a bounty hunter," Naruto said as he doesn't want to be anything like a ninja anymore.
"I'm ok in doing pest control," Trixie said.
"Some of the lower rank guild members do just pest control and leave the tougher jobs for higher rank members," Eskel said.
"Everyone ok with that?" Twilight ask.
"Yeah," everyone said.
"Ok then," Twilight said. "I'll sign us up after we eat."
"Also you all should look up the high level bounties. So you know what to look out for, if you're in a universe with one of them. Some of them are like Charlie Brown, complete jokes in cannon but aren't funny in others," Eskel said.
"Like who?" Naruto ask.
"Toiletnator is the current big hitter who's the most active right now," Eskel said earning some laughs from Twilight's group.
"That lame villain from the Kids Next Door verse?" Sunset ask.
"Yes but that Toiletnator is as deadly as he is lame in cannon. He killed just about everyone on his world before he became a world hopper. The normal ones are usually have a head injury that gives him brain damage, which he gain when he got his toilet base powers. Which is how he killed his world, he went around causing all the toilets to backup flooding whole cities with toxic sewerage and waste. And the ones that tried to stop him, well he does control everything to do with toilets, and what makes up a toilet. Toilet paper that can act like razor wire, controlling water, stonework and metal that makes up a toilet. Which makes him, a water, earth, metal, and paper master, and that's not counting the chemicals used for toilets. With that power set and him not being dumb or short sighted in how to use them. He made the saying, 'Heart Is an Awesome Power' scary. He has killed hundreds of different versions of Marvel, DC and other superhero verses groups. If you spot him, just run as he has a bounty of 1 trillion credits for a reason," Eskel said.
"We keep that in mind," Twilight said as she makes a note to see if she can't find a scanner that can tell her if there is anyone with an active bounty around.
A big group suddenly enter Moe's made up of Lolth, Trigon, the 4 Chaos gods of Warhammer, Lord Chaos, Nyarlathotep, and the 5 members of God's Hand. But all of them look down beaten and all wearing suits. They walk straight for the bar and Moe served them their drinks.
"Those are the big bads who lost everything to Mandy and are now working under her," Eskel said.
"From grim adventures?" Naruto ask.
"Yes that Mandy. She has created a small but powerful muiltverse empire, made up of different planets or systems under her control. She's lawful evil and runs it as a business, all the big bads that thought she was nothing but a human with a big ego quickly learn she is anything but that. She set Billy loose on them and he quickly either destroyed everything or drove the big bads crazy. Allowing her to easily takeover, and either they end up like the group at the bar after she steals their powers, reducing them to working for her. Or end up being sent to a Carebears world, where because of the very nature of that universe prevents them from doing anything worse then hurting someone's feelings. You should see how lame the 4 Chaos gods are like in a Carebears world. They try to be like they were in Warhammer but just end up being harmless villains in that world no matter what they try, which isn't much as they simply unable to do anything like they use to be able to do, and the Carebears stare one shot them, sending them running away," Eskel explains.
"Does that mean the carebears villains are monsters when they're not in their universe?" Naruto ask.
"No. They're worse," Eskel said. (9)
!
Later -
After they ate, Trixie went off to sell the treasures and magical items she gotten from the game base worlds, that she couldn't use for one reason or another. Naruto went off with Kasumi to look for more robot stuff as he's been making robots, and wants to make a mech for himself. Kasumi went with him keep an eye on him so he doesn't get lost. Twilight went off to sign them up with the Witcher Guild as beginner level, pest control.
As for Sunset she went off to the weapon sellers to see what they could use. Checking a shop that sold stuff from Bioshock verse, she found a spear gun. The spear gun has an upgraded scope, a railgun like rotary mechanism, and all of it reinforced down to it's firing spring and barrel to handle the increased power. It can also fire nets to capture targets. Then there are the Adam selection, which are drinkable instead of injecting it.
The Rick who ran the store explain to her that unlike in the game, his Adam products are completely safe as long as you follow the instructions on the label. Taking the instructed doses of Adam over a weeks time, depending on your body type and other things. You get the kind of body you want, and incase of a bad reaction there is an antidote that remove all the Adam from you. And he does a scan so that he knows what to give you, so there isn't any problems on his part.
"So what you think?" Sunset ask Twilight and Trixie who she called to meet her at the shop. Kasumi and Naruto were still busy looking through the shops selling robot parts and mechs.
"This has no side effects like in the game?" Twilight asked the Rick.
"Nope unlike those hacks, I discovered Adam in my world and mass produced it. And made sure that what, I sell is safe. I'm may not be able to make stuff like my other counterparts but when it comes to bio and chemistry, I know what I'm doing. Besides I wouldn't be able to sell this stuff here if they weren't safe, as long as you follow the instructions that is, if you don't and just drink it all at once. It's not my responsibility anymore," Rick explains.
"If we get powers wouldn't our hands morph like in the game to use them?" Trixie ask.
"Yes," Rick said.
"I don't like the idea of my hand bursting in flames," Twilight said.
"How about just passive gene tonics?" Sunset ask.
"Sure I can give you the standard package. Increase your body strength and endurance levels. Make your body more shapely and tone, for men muscles and women the most common superpower, like you see in superheroines. You'll be much stronger, standard super strength, with a body that is like a sandbag making it very hard to hurt you. It also increases your lifespan and with youth too so you can be in your 80's and still look like you're in your 20's," Rick explains.
"What do you think girls?" Sunset ask.
"I'm in," Trixie said as she wouldn't mind looking young and feeling young in her old age.
"Sure why not we can remove the Adam if something goes wrong. We can get our orders and wait for Naruto and Kasumi to finish what they're doing," Twilight said.
"Well since you're just going to be waiting around how about some other perks?" Rick ask wanting to see how much he can make on this sale.