//------------------------------// // Back To Business // Story: Integration Is Pointless // by OutOfTheBlue //------------------------------// Have any of you ever been hugged by someone bigger than you? Like, not just a lame standing hug, but full on cuddling? If so you know how warm and comfy it is. It's like... having a warm meat blanket of affection and mutual respect and support. Nice, huh? Well now give that big hug-buddy soft, fluffy feathers and super cuddly cat fur and you have what getting snuggled by a gryphon is like. I woke up like I usually did; eyes slowly open, see how early it is and how exhausted I still am, INTERNAL SCREAMING! One good(ish) thing about my brain is that I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off and boy... I need those few minutes. As I looked at my clock and saw that, hallelujah, I've got fifteen minutes, I eased back into the tight hug that I had woken up in. You know, it's odd to be on the other side of one of these early morning hugs, but I loooove it. So nice, so warm, so safe. But... all good things must come to an end, and so did my fifteen minutes. *Riiiiiing, riiiiiiing, RiiiiiII--* The alarm was interrupted by Talion straight up punching it off the nightstand before pulling me closer to his feathery chest. >So much for him being uncomfortable about sharing.< ~You're forgetting the Pony-Hug Theory.~ (All together) >If you fall asleep beside a pony your brain subconsciously hugs the pony.< ~If you fall asleep beside a pony your brain subconsciously hugs the pony~ If you fall asleep beside a pony your brain subconsciously hugs the pony. ...Did we synchronize that? >Yeah, gross.< ~We're so in sync.~ I started tapping Talion on the shoulder prompting him to groggily awaken. "Talion... as comfy as this is I've gotta get ready for work, and you're coming with me." His eyes slammed open and he scrambled out of bed. "OH CRAP I'M SORRY!" I stared at him in confusion as he flushed with embarrassment. "No seriously, I don't mind. But I do have to go to work. So grab some breakfast and a shower if you need it and let's go." He nodded, looking away in embarrassment. I just shrugged before walking towards the shower. As I washed myself in the warm downpour (suck it waterfall) I heard the refrigerator open and close, which I assumed was Talion making breakfast. I dried off and walked out to see my feathered friend munching on a bowl of baked oat bites. (with cinnamon!) He looked at me before looking back at his cereal, looking nervous. I sat down and poured some cereal for myself before saying, "What's got you so worked up?" "I...I understand if you want me to leave. I'm really sorry about that and there's no--" "I already told you, I don't really care. The only one making a big deal out of it is you." "Okay, but I could still sleep on the couch if you wanted." "Please, I shared a double bed with my brother for ten years because we didn't have enough beds or rooms for us to not. I mean, he never hugged me in his sleep, but then it would have been weird." He nodded before looking at me. "You have a brother?" "Yeah, we used to be pretty close. But then he left home and just stopped talking to me. Which kinda sucked." "Oh... I have three sisters. One older two younger. They can be a real pain in the ass, but I still love 'em." "Huh, how old are they? Like, highschool age or older?" "Well there's Linsey, she's twelve but she started school late so she's still in primary school. Then there's Megan, she's sixteen, so highschool. Me at nineteen, almost twenty. And then Jessica who's twenty-two." "Wow, pretty diverse bunch." "Yeah... then there's my parents. We... didn't leave on the best of notes. Well, more like they tried to talk me out of leaving and... I stormed out." "Oh... that's... uh..." He grimaced and returned to his cereal. "Sorry, didn't mean to get all heavy this early." "I don't mind." He smirked at me before saying, "Is there anything you do mind? You seem a little too laid back." "When people have bad breath but get all up in your face to talk to you." He made a face and said, "Ugh, I hate that too. Or when someone's all sweaty and they get super close and it's just really uncomfortable." I shudder before whispering, "Gym class." This prompted a shudder from Talion who nodded back. "Gym class." We finished up breakfast before walking to town hall. On the way Talion looked at me and said, "Is this even going to work?" "I'll make it work. And if not, you can still stay with me. Heck, you're welcome to stay with me anyway and like... help pay for food or something. You know, be roommates?" He nodded and looked at the sunrise. "Yeah... roommates." Soon we were right outside the building with me going in first. I opened the door prompting Brooke to smile. "Hey Jack, how was your weeke..." She trailed off when she saw who was following me. "Hey Brooke, it was fine. Oh, meet Talion. He's a friend of mine. I was hoping he could get a job here. Nowhere else will give him a chance 'cause he's a gryphon." She just sat there, flabbergasted. Soon the mayor himself walked out of his office on his way to grab coffee from the break room. He stopped when he saw me... or more likely Talion. "Uuh..." "Good morning Mayor Bureau. I wanted to talk with you about something." He nodded, mouth still open. "Uuh... I'm... coffee..." He stumbled away towards the break room which was odd. He usually only did that on Fridays. I turned to mention it to Brooke but she was gone. I'm pretty sure I saw her tail sticking out behind her desk though. "Umm... are you sure this will work?" I looked at Talion and smiled. "Well, we won't know until we try." He took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders as the mayor returned with his coffee. He didn't even glance at us before speeding up to get to his office. I followed him and motioned for Talion to do the same. Once inside I saw that Mayor Bureau was sitting stiffly behind his desk with a nervous twitch in his eye. "So... about what I wanted to ask you. Do you think you could find a job for Talion." I nodded in the gryphon's direction which prompted the Mayor to blanch. "H-he wants a job... here?" "Well, nowhere else would even interview him, so I figured I might as well see if you'd give him a chance. You've always struck me as more progressive and free thinking than the other ponies in town." >Yes. Flattery always helps.< ~Butter him up like a biscuit!~ It worked because the mayor immediately loosened up and smiled. "Is that so? Well, I do try to be inclusive. Equestria is a land of harmony after all." "It sure is. But, enough about me, do you have any questions for Talion?" The mayor looked back at the gryphon with a hint of doubt. He bit his lip and thought for a second before saying, "Well... we've had a bit of a tough time with filing but that would require you to know Equestrian writing." "I already know it, sir. I took it in secondary school." "How're your organization skills?" "I'm a neat freak." He mumbled to himself before sighing and smoothing his mane out. "Alright, I'll give you a chance. Just please, don't make me regret it." The two shook hooves/claws with Talion beaming. "I'll do my best, sir." >I'm pretty sure he just likes being called "sir."< ~Ego-stroking!~ I nodded to the mayor before following Talion out the doors. When we were out he grabbed me by the shoulders and stared shaking me. "Thank you! Oh man, I can't believe that happened! Yes!" He let go of me leaving me staggering around dizzily. "Hey... no problem buddy. Just... yaaaaay." I attempted to walk around him but accidentally plowed right into him knocking us both over. I landed on his chest which prompted a laugh from him. "Whoops, sorry Jack. I didn't mean to make you dizzy." "Eh, no problem." I got up and walked over to the front desk where Brooke was cautiously peaking out. "So... anything you need me to deliver?" "T-there were two unknown ponies found at the edge of town in the hospital. C-can you go see if they are awake so you can get their names?" "No problem. And can you show Talion to the filing room? And please, don't treat him weird all day. He's really nice." She nodded and I gave her a smile before trotting away. She looked over at the waiting gryphon and gulped. "F-follow me please." -------------------------------- Legible Ledger hummed a quiet song as she slowly worked through the mountain of paperwork she had to file. It just kept piling up and was way too much for just one pony. "Um... Ledger? M-mayor Bureau hired somepony else to help you with the filling." She turned, visibly excited. "Really!? Finally! I'm always swamped with--" She froze when she saw a massive gryphon standing nervously behind Sparkling Brooke. "Uh..." "This is Talion! Welp, gottagobye!" And with that, she was gone leaving the quiet mare with the nervous gryphon. They both just stood there avoiding eye contact before Ledger coughed and murmured. "Umm... could you... take care of... that stack." She pointed a shaking hoof at the indicated pile of paper. Talion nodded before picking it up and getting to work. The two filed... not even speaking when they needed something. -------------------------- I trotted along the road to the hospital ninety-nine percent sure who I was going to see. Well I guess Verdant dropped those two off. >Mhm.< ~Yay.~ I reached the hospital and asked for directions at the front desk. As I walked to the room I was told about I couldn't shake the nagging feeling I was forgetting something. Upon reaching the room I saw none other than Orchid and Doc sitting in hospital beds. "Hello." They turned to face me with different expressions once they saw my awesome Nocturne bod. Doc had curious fascination written all over whereas Orchid... I dunno, curiosity? "My name is Jackknife and I'm here to find out your names and where you're from." Doc opened her mouth only for Orchid to cut her off. "Well, I'm Orchid Mimosa but everyone calls me Orchid." So she does have two names! >Yippee.< ~The more you know!~ "And this is Doctor Carefull Observer. We're both from Canterlot. But, how about you? Do you live here?" "Yup. So, how're you two feeling?" "A little under the weather, but hopefully we should be fine in a few days. Maybe you could drop by again some time?" "I'll be sure to. Well, I've got to get back to work. Later!" I waved as I walked out the door with Orchid waving back, a warm smile on her face. Doc glared at her, eyebrow raised. "Are you done, Orchid? I thought you guards were supposed to be professional? Yet as soon as a stallion walks in you start drooling all over yourself. I wanted to discover more about him for my research! I want to figure out why there are so few stallions born nowadays! If this trend of increasing female population and decreasing male population keeps up we might have to start making breeding programs with one stallion being assigned to a group of mares. And nobody in their right mind wants that!" "What's there to research!? What could you even do to fix that!? And besides, you can't fault me for trying to make a good impression with an eligible Nocturne stallion! You know how few stallions Equestria has? Well Nocturnia has less, and many go to join the night guard and almost immediately get snapped up by some pretty-faced, sweet-talking whorse who batts their eyelashes and flirts their way into bed with them. And besides, I didn't get on your back about Jack!" Doc blushed and gasped. "W-what are you implying!" "Oh please, you weren't even subtle. And even if I was blind, I can still hear. You talk in your sleep and we've been sharing a tent this whole time." Doc gaped and started looking frantic. "What do you mean!? What did I say!" Orchid closed her eyes and faked dreamy expression. "~Ooh Jack, wrap me up in your strong, muscular arms.~" "S-stop it! I would never--" "~I just want to lick you sexy stomach. Or... if you prefer I could teach you some Equestrian... biology.~" Doc blanched and looked away. "Oh? Did I strike a nerve? It must have been an "interesting" dream given all the moaning." Doc cringed down and blushed, unable to meet Orchid's eyes. "Oh, and I didn't even have to mention the smell or how quick you were to change your--" Orchid stopped when she saw tears dropping from Doc's eyes. Oh no, me and my big mouth. "D-doc?" Doc just shut her eyes and turned away. "Listen, I'm--" "Shut up Orchid." Orchid flinched as the usually polite and proper mare turned towards her with a dangerous expression. "D-doc!? Listen, I'm--" "No, you listen to me. I know what you must think of me. That I'm a freak for my infatuation with him. But did you ever bother to ask why? No! Unlike you, stallions never even looked at me! Sure you might be single, but you've been on a few dates even if it didn't work out. Stallions have complimented you, made you feel special. But me? No! I was just a brainiac! I might as well have been made of stone for all it's worth! I never let it get to me though, 'No,' I said, 'I don't care. I'm above petty delusions of romance. I'm a mare of science!' But then Jack came along. At first I was just attempting to get close to him for information, but... he treated me differently. He saw me in a different way. He said I was cute, adorable, lovable. All those things I'd never been called. He didn't see me as a brain, churning out useful ideas and interesting theories, he saw me as a pony. He saw somebody he could hug and show affection to. And... it just... just..." She trailed off and looked away. "I'm so sorry Doc, I didn't know you were going through that." She sniffed before turning back to Orchid, unaware that the nurse had just walked in. "It's okay, and I'm sorry for patronizing you for flirting with Jackknife." The nurse set down the tray of food she was carrying and gave them both a smile. "You know, you might not understand how it works here, but we don't get many new ponies. Of course, even then they aren't usually stallions. So when an eligible, open stallion comes to town who doesn't look like a hydra's backside, all the mares that are looking for a stallion tend to start competing." She leaned towards Orchid and gave her a wicked smile. "Now, I might not be looking for a relationship, but I still wouldn't mind bringing that fine stallion home one evening. Everypony knows nurses can be pretty alluring if we want. So, let me make this clear." She leaned even closer, staring Orchid right in the eye. "Hooves. Off." Orchid raised her hooves and nodded. The nurse returned to her sunny smile and trotted away. "Hope you get better soon!" Orchid turned to Doc and gulped. "Maybe I should stay single, or just plain old avoid stallions for a while." Doc nodded and gave her a smile. "Maybe that would be for the best." As Orchid turned away, Doc smirked as she saw her disappointment. “Of course Jack isn't the only one who I've come to... appreciate.” Orchid blanched. “Uhh... Doc? Please tell me you don’t—“ Doc froze and blushed. “That came out wrong! I meant as a friend! Purely platonic!” “Right... uh... how about we never speak of this again.” “...Agreed.” ------------------------------- I strode calmly through the hospital, ready to head back to city hall. Unless... was there something-- *Flash* ...oh poop. I dove into the nearest room with an open door and closed it behind me. I turned and saw that, unfortunately, there was a little colt sitting dumbfounded in the bed. "Uh...." He just stared, mouth agape. I saw his hoof begin to move towards the help button and I quickly shook my head and clasped my hands together while mouthing "please don't." He froze and continued looking at me before pulling his hoof back towards himself. He looked around before saying in a conspiratorial whisper. "Are you a human?" "Yes, but I don't want to scare anyone. So please, don't tell anyone that I'm--" I heard the doorknob begin to turn and I quickly ducked into the only place I could think of. Underneath the bed. Hoofsteps started making their way towards me and a female voice said, "Hello, Juniper Berry. Is your tummy still aching?" "No Miss Linen." "Oh, please just call me Nurse Linen. Miss Linen makes me feel old." "Sorry Mi... Nurse Linen." "Wonderful! That should mean your horsey pocks are almost gone. You should be able to go home tomorrow! Well, I'll see you at lunch." "Bye Nurse Linen." Once the door closed I crawled out from under the bed and tousled the colts mane. "Thanks kid, I owe ya." He smiled and nuzzled his snout into my hand. "You're soft. I like you." I smiled at him before scratching behind his ears causing him to giggle. "Thanks. I like you too. Well, I've gotta go. Don't tell anybody! It'll be our super ultra secret." He nodded and made a zipping motion across his lips. I gave him a thumbs up before opening the window and climbing out. Fortunately, I was on the backside of the building which was directly across from the woods. I dashed for the cover of the forest, looking for magic to drain. >...< ~...~ ...what? >That was adorable.< ~You'd make a good dad.~ Shut up you two.