//------------------------------// // Batman vs. Superman // Story: Random Discussions // by King of Madness //------------------------------// “I swear, it was the worst ending to a movie I have ever seen!” Sunset ranted. “I mean, first of all, no amount of super sonic flying would be able to make the earth rotate backwards! And even if it could, it wouldn’t make time itself go backwards! It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Meh, it was pretty dumb the way it was done, but Superman would have found a way to reverse time anyway. He’s awesome like that.” She bragged as though she were talking about herself. Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’ve never understood the appeal of Superman.” Rainbow looked at Twilight as though she had just said the sky was green. “Are you kidding? Superman’s awesome! He can move planets! Fly through galaxies! Shoot lasers from his eyes! See through walls! He can do anything!” Rainbow sounded as if she were talking about her crush. “Yeah... That’s kinda the problem.” Twilight deadpanned. Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Whadda’ya mean?” “I mean, Superman is way too overpowered to be likable. How am I suppose to sympathize with a character who not only has the power to do anything, but also is never conflicted on how to use said power?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Of course, you would say that, Miss I-Have-A-Crush-On-Batman.” Twilight narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “Well, Batman is better than Superman.” Rainbow gasped. “Oh, this gonna be fun!” Pinkie said before pulling out a tub of popcorn. Applejack gave her a dry look. “...You gonna share those or what?” Pinkie handed Applejack another tub of popcorn. “How can you say Batman is better than Superman?!” Rainbow asked in disbelieve. “If Superman wanted to, he could crush Batman in a millisecond.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s not about ‘who would win in a fight’, it’s about their characters. Batman is a complex, psychologically scarred, justice-obsessed hero who uses his brain to fight crime. But Superman... Well, frankly, he’s just a Marty Sue.” Rainbow’s eyes widened as she crushed her can of soda in her grip, causing it go everywhere. Rarity gasped when some landed on her before glaring at Rainbow. “Again?!” Fluttershy nervously inched away from Rainbow before Sunset handed her and Rarity tubs of popcorn that Pinkie had been passing out. “You take that back!” Rainbow demanded. “Superman is just as complex as Batman and there are good reasons why he never abuses his powers!” “I doubt that.” Twilight said with little interest. “Batman, what, loses his parents? Superman lost his entire planet!” “Batman watched his parents get murdered right in front of him. Superman was a baby when his planet was destroyed.” “That’s not the point.” Rainbow continued. “At least, Batman still got to live in a mansion with Alfred, who might as well have been his father. Superman had to grow up and live with limitless power, knowing that if he gave in just a little, he could end up killing people. That’s why he isn’t conflicted, egghead. He conditioned himself to hold back and only use his powers for good to make sure that didn’t happen. Which is way more tragic than Batman’s backstory, by the way.” Twilight, and the others for that matter, were surprised by how professional Rainbow was being. She honestly never took the rainbow-haired tomboy as the type to think deeply about... anything. However, her statement that Superman’s childhood was more tragic than Batman’s snapped her out of her amazement. “That’s where you’re wrong, Rainbow Dash. Batman’s past was just as tragic! Do you realize what having to watch as your parents are murdered would do to a child? Batman replays that in his head every day for the rest of his life! And he never got justice for it! That’s why he became the Caped Crusader. And, unlike Superman, he’s completely human. He’s had to train in martial arts, invent countless gadgets, and work himself into peak human conditioning. A character that has to push the limits is better than a character that has to hold back.” “That’s ridiculous!” Rainbow retorted. “Sure, Batman has to work for all his ‘powers’, but Superman’s situation is harder. To him, it’s like living in a world made of cardboard. In order to fight and save the day again and again, he constantly has to keep himself in check. If he does too little, the bad guys win. If he does too much, he’ll end up hurting people. He has to stay on the line at all times! Besides, who does Batman have to fight anyway? A crazy clown? A fat midget that looks like a penguin? A guy that dresses up as a scarecrow? Superman has to deal with Lex Luther; a god-hating billionaire with a lifetime supply of kryptonite! Zod; who matches Superman’s powers and will kill you if you don’t kneel before him! And Darkseid; a god of evil that can destroy entire worlds!” Twilight gritted her teeth a bit. “That ‘crazy clown’ is a sadistic, mass-murdering psychopath! That ‘fat midget that looks like a penguin’ is the same but with good publicity. And that ‘guy that dresses up as a scarecrow’ forces people to live out their greatest fears. Something that Superman wouldn’t be able to handle, but Batman handles it time and time again! Superman and Batman are on different playing fields anyway, so comparing who they fight against doesn’t make any sense.” “Whatever. Superman is still better.” Rainbow said with certainty. “No, Batman is better.” Twilight retorted. “Superman!” “Batman!” “Superman!” “Batman!” “Superman!” “Batman!” “Alright, break it up, ladies.” Sunset said with a mouth full of popcorn. She swallowed before speaking again. “They’re both overrated posers anyway.” Sunset slapped her hands over her mouth when she realized what she just said. Rainbow and Twilight look at her in shock before glaring. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Sunset said honestly as she held up her hands. “Why would I say that anyway? I think they’re both losers.” She slapped her hands over her mouth again. Rainbow and Twilight were getting angrier. “I swear, I’m not making myself say that.” “She’s right though.” Applejack butted in against her will. “Superman an’ Batman are old news.” “Indeed,” Rarity agreed, despite not agreeing. “They are second rate compared to the true greatest superhero of all time!” “The sexiest, smartest, sexiest, toughest, sexiest character ever written.” Fluttershy blushed deeply as she was forced to say this. “Did I mention he’s sexy?” “Oh, yeah. How could I forget?” Rainbow said. “How could I forget too?” Twilight said. Pinkie examined her friends and snapped her fingers. “There’s only one guy who could be responsible for this.” “Deadpool!” They cooed in unison. DEADPOOL RULZ