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// Customer Service with a Supple Touch 
// Story: A Roundabout Way to Make a Bargain 
// by 1stLieutenantCrunch 
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I pushed the chunks in the stew around with my spoon. I wasn’t nearly as hungry as I had been when we first came to town. It’d only been a few minutes since I’d left the store, and the rest of the caravan had been quick to set-up in the common area of the town while the boss and I were gone- even whipping up a stew of... something. It looked like they’d just thrown whatever they could find lying around into a pot of water. I sighed and pushed my bowl across the picnic table- I wasn’t missing much, and I had too much on my mind. 
...Was she not angry at me? I never actually did see her get mad, but that was just going by her face. Part of selling stuff is selling yourself to the buyer, so maybe she was just forcing a smile. That didn’t explain the bullets though, and now that I’d thought about it, that gun really was cheaper than it should’ve been. It may not have been anything special, but a knife would’ve been closer to the value that she sold it for. That... that had to be genuinely nice thing- unless she was conning me? I didn’t check the gun over to see that it was really working, so maybe it was just a dud? The box could also have been low quality bullets that would just jam the gun. ...that sounds like paranoia at best. I had grabbed that gun myself- if it was a dud, that’d be completely by chance! And the bullets- I hadn’t even looked at those yet. I reached down to my saddle bags on the ground next to me and pulled the carton out. Popping the lid open, I spilled a couple onto the table. They looked perfectly fine. The brass even gleamed in the midday sun- certainly looked like they wouldn’t jam.
This was stupid. I was just making up reasons to prove she hated me. She’d given me every outward sign that she didn’t- she even asked for my name! That didn’t strike me as malicious. She’d... she’d been so kind to me, whether or not that smile had been fake when she caught me... but what if it really wasn’t fake? Did she like it when I was looking at her? I mean, I guess that could be flattering... did that mean she was interested in me too, then? 
I kept imagining that smile again and again in my head- just thinking about it made me both relaxed and jittery at the same time. It was so warm and kind... I could even pretend it was loving. Since I’d been in this caravan- no, since as long as I could remember, I couldn’t remember anyone looking at me like that. It felt like everything and everyone didn’t care about anything really- especially not me. Even if I was just imagining that she felt that way... I wanted to see her face again... I wanted to be nestled against her, feeling her coat against mine as her body pressed into me, and looking into that loving smile. I wanted that to happen so bad, but... could it?
I needed to go back. Who knows when I’d be back in this town again? If I did have a chance with her, I didn’t want to waste it fantasizing! I’d already started walking back to the store by now without really realizing. I was really doing this! I could feel my heart pounding by the time I got to the door. Without thinking, I grabbed the handle with my hoof and pushed it open. 
As the door flew open, I heard the bell jangle harder than the last time. Blue was behind the counter with what looked like a pre-war magazine, sitting on a stool that she’d moved in. Hearing my (a tad too forceful) entry, she looked up and over to me- and all my thoughts and confidence came crashing down. What do I do now?! Why didn’t I think of something before I came in?! I stood there at the door for a second or two, looking wide-eyed at Blue across the room. She had a slightly surprised look on her face, staring back at me. 
“Hello again- I didn’t expect you back so soon!” She recovered first, setting the magazine to the side and looking at me expectantly. I knew I should say something back, but I was still frozen in the doorway. How do I open? I can’t just say, “Hey there, I think you’re pretty cute”! I can’t just stand here either- that’s no better! Eventually I let out a weak, “Hey,” and started shuffling forward. It wouldn’t look weird if I waited to get over there to talk, right? I started racing through ideas in my head, all of them worse than the last.
“Was there something wrong with the gun?” Maybe I could ask her something about the gun? What though? I’ll look stupid if I ask her how to use it. I still couldn’t think of anything, and I was nearly at the counter. Her eyebrows were starting to scrunch together now, and she was tilting her head a bit. I hadn’t noticed before, but I was starting to shake again- I must look like a wreck. 
“I- uh... I...” Come on! Say something!
“-I thought I’d left something on the counter.” Yes, I did. My brain. Sweet Celestia this was stupid.  
“Oh, I didn’t see anything- what was it?” She leaned forward a bit, her stomach bulging out to the sides slightly as it was forced against her thighs. The way she sat on the stool, with her hind legs dangling off the front, played with her weight in wonderful way- her rump curved out from where it was compressed between her weight and the seat, and her belly sat in her lap, flowing over her legs and bowing out in front of her, as well as making small love handles on her sides. She looked beautiful, sitting there. When I looked back up, her eyes had widened while I was looking at here curves. Then her eyebrows started moving up from where they were scrunched together, and she lowered her eye lids a bit. She was giving me that smile again, just like-
“Oh- it-it’s nothing, never mind!” I turned around and started moving quickly back towards the door. What am doing?! I wanted this! -she was smiling again! She wanted it! I was getting dizzy and my face felt numb. I needed to get out- I was making an idiot of myself! I nearly ran into the door and awkwardly tried to grab the handle. I could feel tears starting to build in my eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to just run out and keep running. How could I mess up this bad?! I- 
“Wick!” I stopped, the door still push open and my head already out. I almost left anyways- I didn’t want to stay here and keep screwing up in front of her. I turned my head to look back at her, doing my best to make sure I didn’t start crying. She looked a little concerned, maybe even pitying, but her lips still curved up a bit when she saw me turn back around.
“-I’ve been thinking, since you left earlier. That holster you’re using right now, it probably won’t fit the pistol you just bought. I have another one though, that I’d like you to try on,” she said as she started shifting herself around get off the stool. Her belly bounced a bit as she landed, and she started walking to the left side of the store- looking over to me and beckoning to follow. I stood there, still half out the door, while she walked around the edge of the counter and behind a taller shelf, out of sight. I took a few deep breathes, let go of the door, and started walking over to meet her. 
It felt like it’d been an eternity by the time I’d rounded the end of the shelf. I was still shaking slightly, but I wasn’t crying. I didn’t know how to feel right now- embarrassed? Hopeful? Definitely stupid. Blue was standing a few steps away, looking through a bin of harnesses. She looked over when she heard me step around the corner, and motioned with her hoof to come closer. Looking into the container, she pulled out a harness with her magic that was slightly smaller than mine, but with similar black straps that would wrap around my barrel. She turned to me and move the harness over towards me.
“I think this one should work, but I’d like to make sure it fits. Could you sit down for a moment?” She patted the ground next to her, and I slowly moved closer and sat. Placing the holster on my side, she held it there with a hoof while taking one of the straps in another hoof and placing it across my back. 
“These things can be such a pain sometimes- hope you don’t mind.” She then reached down for the other one, her foreleg brushing against me, causing me to tense a bit and blush. She was a unicorn, why wasn’t she using h- She began leaning into me, her foreleg traveling under me to my other side and her belly beginning to rub against my side and legs. If I wasn’t tense before, I definitely was now- I was practically a statue, my breath becoming shallow as her fur brushed against me. After moving the strap to my side, she moved her other hoof from holding the holster- letting her belly hold it in placed instead- picked up the strap on my back and fully rested herself on me. 
She was heavy. I was taken by surprise and nearly toppled over, just barely catching myself and spreading my forelegs to support the weight. I could hardly breath now, but not because of the weight. She was sitting now, her hind legs going to either side on me, with the girth of her legs squeezing me in the middle. Her belly, gently rubbing before, was now fully supported by me- spilling out to the sides as my barrel sank into her plump body. Her neck rested against the back of mine, and I could both hear her gentle breathing and feel her belly slowly expand and contract with each breath. 
I wasn’t able to think at this point- I couldn’t believe what was happening. This- this was way beyond a smile or some free bullets. There was no way that she didn’t realize what she was doing right now- the way she was nearly making my heart beat out of my chest, or how my face must’ve been bright red. She... she really did-
I heard the ends of the straps clatter to the floor, and then her felt her hooves finish wrapping around me. In one motion, she shifted me around to face her and pulled me back towards her, so that I was now resting against her belly and looking up at her. She was mirthful, grinning down at me as she held me against her.  
“You know that I could see you taking a peek at me- right? You were so cute when I caught you,”  she leaned in slightly, saying the last part in a quieter voice. Definitely not questioning it now. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at her, instead looking down to avoid eye contact- only to have my muzzle bury into her pudge. She giggled at my reaction, making me bounce up and down lightly with her belly. Making a sound that was something between the last of her tittering and cooing, she craned her head down and nuzzled the crook of my neck, gently rubbing her velvet fur into me. I closed my eyes, like it’d make me disappear and stop the embarrassment I was feeling. If I thought I was going to faint earlier, I was definitely going to die now. But with the feeling of her corpulent body cradling me, the way her breath tickled my neck as she gently cooed into me and rubbed my neck, how she enveloped me and made me feel safe- I think I’d be fine, dying like this.
“You poor thing- you know, I was afraid you wouldn’t come back. You nearly ran out before I could get your name!” She said after I’d calmed a bit, moving away from my neck to keep talking to me, occasionally tracing one of her hooves along my back. She moved her muzzle to my head, nudging the top. 
“Wick? Could you look at me?” She pulled her muzzle back, waiting patiently. I pulled my snout out from where it’d been nestled in her chest and turned my head to look up- directly in to a pecking kiss on the forehead. I flinched and lowered my head into her chest, still looking up at her. 
“I’d love to stay here with you, but I’ve got some things left to do today. Do you know how long you’ll be in town?” It took me a moment to find my voice again. 
“We- the caravan’s leaving tomorrow morning,” I eventually mumbled out. She beamed down at me and squeezed me tight. 
“Oh good! Do you think you’ll be able to come back tonight? I’ll make plenty of food, so you won’t have to worry about dinner,” Blue chirped, bouncing me a bit in her excitement. 
“Ok.” Ok?! Yes! Yesyesyes! 
“Great! I’ll see you tonight.” Blue gave me one last squeeze, and I wiggled my hooves out from where they stuck under me to give a weak hug back. She hefted herself back up, letting me slide off her gut, and began walking back to the counter. She took a couple steps, then stopped for a moment and turned back to me.
“And Wick, you can keep that harness too- as a gift from me to you,” she finished with a wink, turning back and continuing her slow walk. I watched as her tail swished back and forth over her doughy plot that swayed with each step, with her belly showing on each side as it slowly swayed as well- until she rounded the shelf and went out of sight.
My rump thumped against the floor as I sat down and tried go over what had just happened. I looked over at the harness laying next to me, still undone. Picking it up, I held it against my chest, closed my eyes, and grinned like an idiot.