//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 
// Story: Final Curtain 
// by Purple Patch 
//------------------------------//

The deep, baritone horn of the PCS Bitt McKillop was joined by the grateful sigh of Lady Mi Amore Cadenza.
Home at last.
It had been a hectic week. What was meant to have been a simple tour across Equestria’s allied state in West Zebrica had turned into a perilous escapade to bring down a diamond smuggling cartel headed by one of Canterlot’s most powerful nobles that led to the uncovering of a conspiracy to invade Zebrica itself.
She’d have quite an interesting letter to write to Princess Celestia for certain.
Yet, for all the troubles that had bombarded her, none was more so than the company she had shared on the boat home.
A wealthy Equestrian couple that had invested a great deal in the Zebrican diamond trade, had benefited greatly from the cartel’s downfall and had simpered and fawned never-endingly over her efforts.
Jet Set and Upper Crust.
The two still hung on her shoulder as she watched the ship pull steadily, almost lazily, into port.
“You must be so looking forward to returning home to Canterlot, my lady.” Upper Crust clucked jovially.
“It will be good to get back, yes. Thank you.” Cadence replied, barely listening, gazing out at the majestic sight of the coastal city, Baltimare. She would have loved to stay a while in the great metropolis but Canterlot called a great deal louder and the train to the capital would not wait long.
“I wish we could say the same, my lady.” Jet Set whinnied “No sooner are we back than we’re off again.”
“Regular globetrotters, aren’t we just?” his wife tittered “There’s an auction in Manehattan for a simply magnificent yacht and with the earnings of our recent investiture, no small thanks to your good and noble self, we should be able to top them all. We’ll be sure to invite you on a tour.”
“The least we could do.” Jet Set added.
To be fair, the two had been very generous to her, inviting her to meals and activities around the ship almost daily. The difficulty was that they simply didn’t act like friends. She remembered they’d been on the ship to Zebrica in the first place and had barely acknowledged her. Their gratitude was admirable but it just didn’t seem honest given by how they’d behaved beforehoof.
Still, she could think of worse company. Among them the ruthless Baron Brittler Borax who’d been heading the smuggling cartel in the first place. He was being safely contained in the hold, guarded by Sergeant Shining Armour who’d, very happily, been requested to bodyguard Cadence on the voyage.
Jet Set and Upper Crust had been positively sycophantic to the Baron on the trip to Zebrica, mainly to get into his good books. 
Word was that he was intent on ruining them unless they sold out to his estate. It would have guaranteed them lifelong comfortable earnings and this was what they appeared content with.
No sooner had Cadence revealed the truth about the Baron’s affluence however than the couple had turned on him, bought out his compromised firms and denounced every relation with him and his household. 
They had come out of the endeavour very much rewarded though the Princess had no doubt that, if her claims had been false, they would have denounced and degraded her mercilessly until the Baron was certain of their loyalty.
Still, that whole fiasco had been avoided. She and Shining Armour had found proof, brought it to the authorities and ousted the wrongdoer. A fine week’s work.
Shining had volunteered get her the morning tea and papers. Already she was missing him.
She’d been growing rather fond of the Sergeant in recent months.


“First officer’s compliment’s, my lady.”
Speak of Discord, there he was. In gleaming brass and a cloak of pink and purple for the princess he stood before, her gallant bodyguard approached, levitating a tray with the morning tea and a warm pastry.
“Thank you, sergeant.” Cadence took the tray and sipped the tea gratefully, her head clearing of the morning stupor.
“And I thought you might like to see the paper.” The white unicorn held it up.
“Ah thank you.” Upper Crust snatched it from his hoof, causing the sergeant to subtly scowl.
Cadence rolled her eyes.
At least they didn’t have the audacity to take her breakfast as well.
“Now let’s see if there’s any good news for a change.” Jet Set opened the paper and set about skimming the Obituary, of all things, as Upper Crust fussed over his shoulder.
“Oh really, darling, you’re so morbid. The morning paper arrives and that’s the first page you turn to” She shook her head smiling at Cadence “Grisly, my lady, that’s what he is, simply macabre.”
“Oh don’t fret, poppet, helps to be informed. And if any of my horrendous aunts decides at last to shuffle off this mortal coil, I want to be around to stake a claim to what they owe me for putting up with their endless scolding and beady little glares for the best years of my life.”
Cadence shook her head as the two guffawed together in that obnoxious way.
Still, it had to be said, they were a happy couple. Two very vain, very irritating ponies but very well suited for each other.
It made Cadence wished she had somepony close. And when watching Jet Set and Upper Crust made one long for a relationship, one had truly remained single for far too long.
She found herself looking at Shining Armour again.
“Ooh, look here, darling!” Jet Set piped up “Old Sanguine has bought it!”
“Who?” Cadence and Shining peered over.
“Herod Sanguine, Prince of Marchion, the Equestrian vassal state. He was also an actor of sorts, quite famous for a time.”
“Yes, I remember. When I was a colt, I was dragged off to see him in MacHeath...Or what it Barbello? Anyway, it was something by Shaking-Spear but by half-way it could have been a lecture on the history of the Mareseille sewage system in Ancient Farmanic for all I cared!” he snorted “The stallion could bore for Equestria! I had to chew aniseed pills to keep myself awake else my dreaded aunts would nearly twist my ear off as they were wont to do at the slightest excuse.”
“Oh Jet, you poor thing.” Upper Crust chortled, pecking him on the cheek. Cadence caught Shining out the corner of her eye, making a ‘noose’ gesture behind the couple.
“Died on his birthday, it says here.” Jet Set continued “The occasion was marked by the unveiling of his portrait commissioned by a Miss Alma Rose, CPCA, etr.”
Alma Rose’s name caused Cadence and Shining to glance at each other knowingly. The mare was a college mate of theirs who’d gone into art after graduating. A bubbly milk-white pegasus with a flowing magenta mane, she was a charming friend and it concerned them to know she’d been wrapped up in this.
After letting the denizens of Canterlot Palace know how it all went, Alma’s house was where they’d need to pay a visit.
“Oh, well I never!” Upper Crust gave a surprised whinny, peering down into the harbour “It would seem you’re expected, my lady!”


Down below, situated as if a separate part of the city, Princess Celestia smiled up at them, accompanied by her student Sunset Shimmer, Chairstallion Fancy Pants, Councillors Earl Grey, Caesar Dressing, Royal Ribbon and a cadre of guards, many of Shining Armour’s friends among them. 
Shining Armour also noticed his parents, Night Light and Velvet, with his little sister, Twilight Sparkle, perched atop her father’s head, waving excitedly with a wide, warm smile.
As the passengers disembarked, Cadence greeted her aunt with a humble bow. Celestia, however, had never found loftiness becoming of her and so she bowed back.
“Lady Mi Amore Cadenza...” she cooed “You have done very well.” She turned “Sergeant Shining Armour, will you escort the prisoner to the wagon?”
“Very good, your majesty.” he turned to four fellow stallions in the guard and issued a command.
“Blizzard Wind, Comet Tail, Stumbler and Flash Sentry, you will head to the hold and bring out the prisoner, Borax Brittler, formerly the Baron Bradoon. You’ll know him when you see him.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” The four guard saluted and headed inside with haste. Sunset Shimmer approached and smiled at the two.
“Playing detectives, huh?” she chuckled “Sounds like fun. Wish the Princess would let me go out more often.”
“It was no game, Miss Shimmer.” Shining said firmly “Numerous times, our lives were put in no small amount of danger.”
“Wait, what? Your life was in danger and you never even called?” Velvet pushed her way forward, a shocked expression on her face as her eyes bore into her son’s “What were you thinking?!”
“Mother...firstly, the Zebrican Rainforests weren’t the best place for long-distance calls and secondly...”
“I’m just glad you’re okay, Shiney!” Any antipathy in the household melted away as young Twilight pattered over on her little hooves and hugged her elder brother intently “I missed you!”
“It’s true. It’s been a...hectic couple of weeks.” Night Light joined them, slightly sleepy “Poor Twiley couldn’t get to sleep knowing you were so far away, we were up singing lullabies till midnight.”
“Aw, sorry everypony.” Shining brought them all in a hug “Don’t worry. I’m not leaving Equestria for a while after this. If I can’t return tonight, it’ll definitely be in the coming week.”
“Better not make it longer, for all our sakes” Velvet tried to sound commanding but yawned half-way through.
“So that’s the Baron Bradoon?” Sunset asked as the stallion was brought out, flanked by Shining’s guard. A tall, mean-looking dark silver stallion with a short, navy mane and dressed in a great silver-flecked black collar and a wide bonnet of office, the plume of white and cyan dry and drab after his less than pleasant containment in the hold.
Celestia looked him down, her glaze blazing into him.
The Baron had been known for his poise and self-position but clear discomfort was upon him as the Princess spoke.
“Brittler Borax, 12th Baron of Bradoon, your crimes against ponies and zebras alike put the harmony between Equestria and Zebrica in mortal peril and threatened countless lives to misery or worse. Understand well that your punishment will not be light!” She motioned with a shake of her fluorescent mane “Royal Guard, you may take him away!”
The Baron’s indigo eyes were cold and hard and fixed on Princess Cadence and Shining Armour. Shuffling in two sets of hoofcuffs and a magic containment ring around his horn, he walked almost calmly, not showing any discernible fear, merely an icy fury.
He spoke as he walked past, his voice as cold and hard as the look he gave them.
“I don’t know who you think you are but rest assured I will make you regret this outrage.”
“That’s enough. Keep walking.” Comet Tail gave him a clout at the back of the neck with his spear handle. The Baron was led away, seething, as Blizzard put a bag over his head.
“Nothing personal but you’re an ugly old buck and I’d rather not look at you.” he said. As the blinded Brittler was led into the prison wagon, he smacked his forehead on the door, giving a grunt of pain and anger.
“Whoops, heads up!” the roguish grey pegasus chuckled as the guards and Shining Armour failed to hide their mirth.
Catching sight of Celestia’s disapproving frown, she straightened up and prompted his fellows to do the same.
“I shall ensure Brittler Borax arrives at Manehattan Penitentiary before the day’s end.” Shining Armour gave a salute which was returned by a wry smile from the Princess.
“Very dutiful of you, sergeant, but I rather wished you to join us beside your good lady on the train back to Canterlot.”
At this, Shining Armour nearly jumped on the spot, blushing furiously, before removing his helmet and bowing his head graciously before the royal assembly.
He’d never been allowed such an honour before. When the time came to depart at the end of guarding the princess, she would go off with Princess Celestia, safe in her care, and he would make the long slog home with the guard.
Now, it seemed, the Princess wanted them both to receive the luxuries of a hard day of righting wrongs.
“I am...honoured, your majesty...b-beyond words...Thank you!”
Out the corner of his eye, Princess Cadence beamed like her aunt’s sun.


*


If he was hoping the train home would be enjoyable, Shining Armour was mostly satisfied.
Though it was by no means as romantic as he would have hoped.
For starters, the carriage in which he, Cadence, Sunset Shimmer and Princess Celestia would be occupying were a great deal larger than he thought. So, her family, being the watchful things they were, decided to also take up the Princess’s offer. They were swiftly followed by Shining’s friends in the Royal Guard. They weren’t cramped, no carriage meant to house an alicorn would be allowed to be, but it was getting somewhat awkward.
Twilight had quickly gotten bored, a common occurrence when her parents forgot to pack any books. And, like the filly she was, she’d had wanted to play with her BBBFF. Shining was, at first, intent on telling her, gently but firmly, she’d have to wait patiently until they got home but Cadence had instead decided to appease her all too readily.
Which had meant an amused audience to the antics of young Twiley and her brother.
The little lavender filly jumped around joyfully, wearing a small blanket tied neatly around her neck, acting as a makeshift cloak, as she spun round and bounced in front of Shining and Cadence.
“Ha-ha! Evil Grogar, scourge of Equestria, I have come to defeat you and rescue the Princess!” she whinnied.
Cadence gasped, her cheeks rosy as she giggled.
“Praise Paradise, its Star-Swirl the master wizard, come to save me from the clutches of the evil villain and his henchbeasts!”
Shining sighed and adopted his gravelly, evil voice.
“Puny fool! You think yourself a match for the Dark Lord of Tambelon?! You have merely taken one step closer to the abyss! Arise my undying lieutenants, my Legion of Malevolence! Tear this meddlesome creature asunder and I shall grant your souls the gift of release and- Flash, what in Equestria are you wearing? What are any of you wearing?!”
Turning round, he saw that his compatriots had elected to join Twilight in dressing up. And none of it was particularly impressive, mainly because they’d only been able to rummage around the classroom utensils and knick-knacks that the filly had left available.
Flash Sentry had painted himself a ‘kitty face’, complete with whiskers.
Stumbler had stretched rubber bands over his face and mane. 
Comet Tail was holding up a rubix cube and waving it in front of them in a way that he thought must have seemed mystical. 
And Blizzard Wind was wearing a motorboard and was chewing a pencil as one would a cigarette. 
At the sight of them, Princess Celestia gave a dainty little chuckle, smile covered by her gilded hoof, while Sunset Shimmer facehoofed for all to see.
“You guys...seriously?” she groaned “Are you the Legion of Malevolence or the rear-section of the freaking Short Bus?”
Shining Armour elected to move swiftly on, no words to his knowledge satisfactory to register his confusion.
“Erm...charge my hordes of...”
“Not yet! We need introductions!” Cadence piped up with a grin.
“Yeah, introductions!” Twiley concurred, hopping gleefully.
“Oh, this is gonna’ be depressing.” Sunset muttered.
“Come now, Sunset. They’re trying their best.” Celestia said gently but firmly.
Sunset raised one eyebrow at her teacher and replied.
“Exactly. That’s what makes it depressing.”
“Okay, ahem” Flash began, puffing out his chest with enthusiasm, though his voice betrayed clear signs of befuddlement, making things up as he went along.
“I am...The Cat Burglar!”
There was a pause.
“Wow...” the red and orange rippled mare said at last, making no attempt to disguise her apathy “I knew it was gonna’ be bad, but...wow...”
“Alright...” Shining added “What do you do? Backstory!”
“Okay! I come into ponies’ houses at night and steal their lives!”
“Steal their wives?” Stumbler asked “I think these bands are a little tight.”
“This is so dumb...” Sunset shook her head as Flash Sentry continued ad-libbing.
“When I get into a fight, I use my mighty claws to scratch ponies to death...because...er, when I was a kid...cats ruined my life!”
There was another pause.
“Wait...So why are you killing ponies?!” Sunset exclaimed, exasperated “Sun-damn it, Flash, your villain sucks!”
Shining, Cadence and Celestia shook their heads, forcing themselves not to laugh as the embarrassed pegasus gave a shrug.
“Only a fool or a madpony messes with...Cat-Pony, the Claws of Fate!”
“A minute ago, you were the Cat-Burglar.” Comet Tail muttered aside.
“Next!” Sunset barked, already very tired of the charade on display.


“Okay, my turn” Stumbler said, possessed of the same wish to contribute hindered by his lack of preparation “I am...Rubber-Band Pony...One fateful day, a rubber band ball...fell into a vat of acid...”
“But then there wouldn’t be a rubber band ball.” Little Twilight Sparkle pointed out.
“Huh?”
“They’d freaking melt, you bonehead! That’s what acid does to rubber!” Sunset bellowed, red in the face “You fail! Start again! Next contestant!”
“Give them a chance, Sunset.” Celestia mellowed her student as Comet Tail stepped forward.
“I am...er...the evil...Temoc...”
“Don’t say Liat! You are not going to say Liat! If you have a single shred of creativity, you will not say Liat!”
Comet Tail glanced side to side guilty.
“Temoc...er...Temoc...Ilta!”
“I want to bucking die...” Sunset buried her face in her hooves.
“Don’t swear in front of the foal!” Velvet scolded.
“Temoc Ilta?” Twilight rolled the name around her tongue “That sounds like the name of the jungle demons from the Daring Do books? Are you like Ahuizotl?”
“...Yeah, sure, why not” Comet said, shrugging and waving his rubix cube “Behold my...Hypno-Orb!”
“You can’t call a cube an orb, you idiot!”
“C’mon, Sunset, we’re imagining it. Don’t be so grouchy.” Cadence giggled as Blizzard Wind braced himself for the crowd.
“Ahem...” he removed the pencil and pretended to blow smoke, trying his best to look edgy “The name’s...Cagey...Cap’n Nick Cagey...”
“No. No. No, we’re not doing that!” Sunset got up and pushed past the stallions, her limit reached “You guys clearly couldn’t act like villains to save your lives! Here, let me show you how it’s done!”
The mare stepped forward. Her horn glowed her trademark fiery tones as the lights in the carriage switched off and her eyes flickered with menace. The white of her eyes turned black, highlighting the ember-like blaze of her irises, boring into little Twilight who shrank back nervously, as did most of the others.
With the magic from her horn surrounding her face, Sunset allowed her irises and teeth to glow abnormally and appear much larger than her face itself as she grinned, gave a bizarre hiss and spoke, her voice so eerily calm one couldn’t stop but shudder.
“What are you afraid of, little one?” she whispered hauntingly “What...do...you...fear?!”


There was a pause, longer and more awkward than all that came before it.
Then little Twilight Sparkle gave a drawn out whimper that quickly turned into a terrified sob, curling up into a ball on the ground and covering her eyes with her hooves.
Her mood positively whiplashing, Sunset immediately turned the lights back on.
“Oh no! Nonononono, no, no, don’t cry! Please don’t cry! I didn’t mean for that to happen! Don’t! Don’t cry!”
As Sunset frantically apologised, Velvet broke from the audience and Cadence inexplicably released herself from Grogar’s clutches to apply an emergency dose of hugs and kisses to the crying filly.
“Oh my little sweetheart, come here, it’s okay. It’s okay...” Her mother promised, nuzzling her daughters cheek with her own.
“It’s alright, Twiley, she’s not gonna’ hurt you. Nopony’s gonna hurt you.” Cadence cooed in turn.
“Hey, don’t I get to cheer her up?” Night Light asked, chuckling “Pass her over you hogs.”
Velvet and Cadence carried the sniffling filly over to her father, sitting next to Princess Celestia who also chipped in to help though unable to stop herself hooting with laughter at the awkwardness occurring.
Flash Sentry meanwhile, tutted at Sunset.
“Oh great, Sunny, look at that! You made her cry! You happy now?”
“No, no, I didn’t mean for that to happen! I was just...” the orange unicorn stammered but by now the guards were fully taking advantage of the situation.
“Wow, Sunset, wow! You just had to take it too far, didn’t you!” Comet Tail sighed.
“I mean sure, our villains might not have been ‘serious’ or ‘intimidating’ or anything but at least we didn’t make Twiley burst into tears!” Stumbler fussed.
“Look, prize student, I can set my mane on fire and have my helmet resemble a burning skull, but I wouldn’t do it because she’s barely ten years old!” Blizzard derided.
“Shut up, okay!” Sunset yelled at last “Enough with the third degree already! You guys suck!”
Shining Armour looked to her crying little sister then to his arguing colleagues.
He then checked the clock above the carriage door.
Two more hours till they arrived at Canterlot.
He muttered quietly over the racket.
“I miss the diamond mines!”


*


Shining and Cadence had spent some time recovering the less than relaxing train journey at Donut Joe’s with Night Light, Velvet and Twilight. Then, with a couple of hugs and kisses goodbye, they set off for Alma Rose’s residence.
Alma Rose, the daughter of the Shajarati expatriate and court official, Lord Razzmatazz, and the Ambassador to Saddle Arabia, Dame Amaranth, had never lacked for money. Her home was an apartment suite in uptown Canterlot, rich in culture and hospitality. A pegasus who enjoyed the clouds, Alma’s suite was high in the complex.
Shining and Cadence elected to take the elevator. Cadence found the door, having visited a couple of times in the past, and pressed the ringer. Both Razzmatazz and Amaranth were likely to be away on court business at this time of year but Alma rarely left Canterlot without letting her friends know.
Sure enough, she answered swiftly. The pale-periwinkle mare looked as if there were a lot on her mind but not so much as to seem stressed. In any case, her mood brightened significantly at the sight of the two visitors.
“Shiney! Cadey! Hi, it’s so good to see you again! It felt like you were gone for ages! Come inside, come on, I wanna' know everything!”
“Thanks, Alma. It’s good to see you too.” Cadence gave her a friendly nuzzle as she and Shining walked in.
The apartment was spacious, well-kept very high-class and decorated with various Saddle Arabian relics and regalia from her parents exploits.
It was welcome after the train ride Shining had endured.
“We...bought you a gift.” He produced a large, gleaming watermelon from a saddle-bag.
Alma gave it a curious smile.
“Really?”
“Flowers tend to wilt.” Shining added, giving a bashful shrug.
Alma weighed it in her hoof.
“Maybe I’ll use it in a still-life.”


She elected not to, in the end, deciding instead to make some exotic cocktails for herself and her two friends.
As they sat down, the chilled, fruity beverages suitably refreshing and relaxing them, they related their recent exploits.
“Honestly, I would have preferred to share the cabin with Baron Brittler’s thugs!” Cadence sighed “I wouldn’t mind a smuggler or even a murderer, one of those creepy, growly stallions who drag ponies off in the middle of the night and send them down a river somewhere because they know too much. It’s these hangers-on that really finish you off! They ooze what they think is charm and it’s endless, day and night, without end!”
Alma chuckled.
“Yeah, my parents say they have the same problems.”
“I scarce repress a shudder, Alma, I tell you.” Cadence took a sip of her cocktail “If Shining hadn’t been there, I don’t think my sanity would’ve survived the trip.”
“Oh really?” The pegasus gave a wry grin. Cadence turned to see Shining blushing furiously, staring into his cocktail that seemed to resemble his face quite well.
“Well, I mean, b-because he’s always there for me...I mean...” Cadence backtracked frantically “What I mean is, he’s good to talk to and share stuff with, er...secrets, er, that is to say, stuff I need kept secret for...reasons...and...”
“Sure, sure...” Alma calmed her and tilted her head “So...you wanna’ know what I’ve been up to?”
“We know what you’ve been up to...” Shining pointed out, coming to his senses “You’ve been painting that Sanguine guy. The one who died.”
Alma drew back, eyes widening.
“Holy Luna, that’s scary!” she exclaimed “What, did you develop telepathy or something?”
“No, it was in the Gazette.” It was Cadence’s turn to calm Alma this time.
“Sorry, sorry...it’s just that...” The pegasus waved a hoof around her ear “I’ve been trying to work up the courage to tell you about it for a while...It’s been on my mind and...something doesn’t feel right...”
“I can imagine it wouldn’t.” Shining said.
“No, no. There’s more to it than that, there has to be. Look...” she leaned forward, an earnest expression on her face “I’m not...ditzy, am I?”
“No, there’s a very different pony who goes by that name” Shining chuckled but Alma’s mood was serious.
Which often meant so were things in general.
“Come on, Shiney. An old stallion’s dead.” she shook her head with worry “They all said it was the crayfish but what about the red paint on the banister or that creepy little book about how to embalm a corpse? And what really worries me is what happened to the rat-poison?!”
She paused.
Shining and Cadence were tilting their heads in complete bewilderment.
Alma gave an apologetic frown.
“Sorry. Look, I’m making sense inside my head, I know I am!” she insisted “It’s just that I’m not much good at telling a story!”
“Well, regardless...” Cadence took another sip of her cocktail and raised one eyebrow curiously.
Shining had a feeling he knew where this was going.
“I think it’s a story we’d like to hear...”