This was, he quickly determined, torture.
“More sugar?” He broke out of his reprieve to look up from the tea cup and see Fluttershy watching him expectantly. Ah. Yes. That was what he was doing. Tea and cakes at Fluttershy’s now that he was ‘well and truly himself’, a celebration for her and a regular meeting between the two of them. Something to keep in touch. To further the friendship.
Urgh. Disgusting.
“Oh, no, dear Fluttershy, this is perfect.” He daintily sipped at the cup, as obnoxiously as possible, keeping sure to sip the cup and not the tea inside. The tea, he simply let morph into a new, fully filled cup. Fluttershy giggled softly at his shenanigans as she sat down with her own tea. Good - he appeared normal to her. He sighed briefly.
One thing Discord had not accounted for was the sheer… effort this took. The effort of pretending. Granted, it was nothing for a God to handle. The effort expended to pretend to be a fully good counterpart was hardly more than the effort it took to sleep. The problem was how dreadfully boring it all was!
He hadn’t been built for tea parties and checkerboards. He hadn't been built for 'friendship' and the like. He was a being of Chaos and destruction, for Pete’s sake! He should be burning this world alive. He should be turning the sky into grass and the grass into sky. He should be wreaking absolute havoc. But he couldn’t - not yet. Not while there was still the possibility of his defeat. Not while his other half was still breathing.
He would fix that soon enough.
“Discord?” He jumped again, startled out of his thoughts once more. That had been happening more frequently. He was letting himself get too distracted. He made a mental note to fix that.
Fluttershy was frowning. “Are you alright? You seem very distracted.”
“I’m just getting used to this again, Fluttershy, dear,” he said quickly, the lies coming to his tongue easily. After all, the easiest lies were the ones with a shred of truth to them, and he obviously needed to get used to this existence. Being physically restrained to a body was certainly new. He settled into the couch a bit more, looking around as a bird flew overhead. These animals were certainly… interesting?
No. Not really. He was just looking for something to chat about to make this scheduled time go faster. God, he was bored.
“I guess that makes sense.” She relaxed on the couch opposite him, watching her little rabbit wander around. “I’m just glad that you’re finally yourself. N-Not that I didn’t like you before,” she quickly said, looking worried. “Oh goodness, no, you’re one of my closest friends! I don’t want you to think otherwise!”
“Fluttershy,” he said softly, shaking his head at the sheer stupidity of her mindset. “You don’t have to worry. I know you like me enough. I like you too, and I can like you properly now that I’m fully myself.” He internally sighed. Did she really believe this drivel?
She took a deep breath, mimicking Twilight's breathing exercises. Twilight had clearly been giving her lessons. “You’re right. I’m happy you’re yourself, even if the change had to happen that way.” She frowned at him seriously, glaring. “But you shouldn’t ever hurt yourself like that again without warning anyone! You had us all very worried.”
Discord felt something stir within him. It was almost like an emotion. Odd. He shook his head and made sure to smile. “Of course, Fluttershy. I won’t worry you like that again.”
She sighed and relaxed again, sipping her own tea. Discord drank more of his, more as an excuse to think of something to talk about. It didn't give him any real nourishment. He estimated he still had at least a half hour in this place before he could leave by claiming he was too exhausted by his recent sickness - not that he even needed sleep. Being a God had perks.
Fluttershy looked at him with a smile. “I’m so happy I was here to have our weekly tea time, Discord. I almost decided to go with Twilight and the others on their trip, but staying was the right choice.”
“A trip?” Discord put down his cup, intrigued. He hadn’t heard about this.
Fluttershy tilted her head at him, opening her mouth to say something before Angel chittered at her. “Oh? What was that, Angel Bunny?” More chittering. “I gave you a big, juicy carrot just an hour ago! You can’t be hungry already.”
Discord, impatient, raised his paw and summoned a carrot, dropping it onto the floor next to the rabbit. Angel jumped, surprised, before leaping on the carrot and beginning to devour it. “A trip, you said? I didn’t realize Twilight had gone on a little... vacation.”
Fluttershy nodded, frowning at Angel eating. Well, one carrot too many wouldn’t hurt. “Oh, yes, just two days ago. She, Rarity, and Applejack went off to visit Griffonstone, since they never got to see it with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. I… er… decided not to go,” she added with a sheepish smile.
Discord shifted slightly in his seat, thinking. Griffonstone… It could be a coincidence. He certainly knew of Twilight’s jealousy about Rainbow and Pinkie’s travels there, but he also knew what she was like. She would suspect him at every turn - there was no conceivable way she had gone off on a fanciful vacation while he could be a danger to her friends. No, this wasn’t just a visit to Griffonstone.
Either something was happening there, or they had found the maps.
“Well, I do wish they would have invited me!” He put his claw to his chest, the air of offense around him. “I happened to be good friends with King Grover. I personally terrified his cook. I would have loved to seen good old Griffonstone again.”
Fluttershy smiled softly. “Well, according to Rainbow and Pinkie, it’s not very majestic anymore… A-And I’m sure that Twilight thought you would still be on the mend.”
“I’m sure.”
“I thought for sure you would have known, Discord. The Cutie Mark Crusaders have been talking about it all week - those kids will repeat anything they hear, I swear. Scootaloo really wanted to go with, evidently.”
“I’m afraid I’ve been a little out of the loop. Trying to regain my strength and all.” He stretched out, trying to relax. He certainly had been too busy, trying to pretend to be their friend. He wasn't close with those little brats, so he hadn't paid the slightest bit of attention to them. “Did Twilight say when they would be back? I do so want to be around all of my friends.”
Fluttershy frowned softly, thinking about it. “Actually… I don’t think she did.” She immediately brightened up, however. “I’m positive Spike would know.”
“Perhaps I could ask him when I’m done here, then.”
Fluttershy nodded along pleasantly. Discord thought to himself while she drank more of her tea. He had to get out of here sooner - this was more than a coincidence. He highly suspected Twilight was on her way to his birthplace, and he could not allow that to happen without his careful supervision. His eyes darted to the window. Outside was the chicken coop. He allowed himself a small smirk. Perfect. He snapped with his paw while he sipped his cup, making enough noise with that to block the noise of the snap.
It was seconds until panicked clucking could be heard outside. “Hmm? Elizabeak?” Fluttershy stood quickly, recognizing the sound of her chickens immediately. Discord, of course, looked curious as they both went outside.
Lo’ and behold, the fence had broken apart again and the chickens were running amok due to a board having fallen in the coop. “Oh! I thought this fence was fine… And my coop has been so sturdy…”
“Well, life is unpredictable, Fluttershy my dear. Have there been any particularly windy storms lately?” He chose to float as he asked this question. No sense getting his feet dirty in the dusty, fenced in area.
Fluttershy bit her lip. “Oh… well, I know Rainbow Dash did use more wind in the latest storm to try to dry it off faster…”
“That’s likely what happened.” He snapped again, fixing the coop and fence. “Voila! Good as new.” He patted himself on the back. “No need to thank me, I can do that much.”
“Oh!” Fluttershy beamed at him. “Well, thank you anyways, Discord. I would pat you on the back if I could reach!” He drifted down to her level, causing her to giggle and pat his back lightly. She looked at the still panicking chickens and frowns softly. “Oh goodness… I think we might need to cut Tuesday Teatime short for today, Discord. I need to calm my little hens down.”
“I understand completely, Fluttershy!” He landed now, looking at the chickens seriously. “They’re absolutely wild right now. I can come back for tea some other time.” He yawned visibly. “Besides. I’ve had plenty of excitement for today! I think a good rest in my home will be good.”
“Oh, of course, you poor thing!” Poor thing? Bah! Ridiculous. He was a God. These ponies would be the death of him with their senseless caring. “Have a safe trip home, Discord. I really enjoyed today!” He braced himself just in time for the hug. She nuzzled her cheek into his chest, sighing. “I missed you.”
Once again, he felt something odd within him. A shred of… something familiar. Something that turned his stomach.
Friendship.
He patted Fluttershy on the head. “And I you, my dear. Now!” He poofed a little bit away, carrying a suitcase and waving a hoofkerchief for added effect. It made her laugh, which was the goal. Good moods, less questions. “Au Revoir!”
“Goodbye, Discord!”
He poofed a good distance away this time, losing the suitcase and hoofkerchief. Unnecessary baggage. His eyes narrowed as he then teleported directly to Twilight’s. The crystal beneath his feet clicked sharply and he scowled.
This place offended his very soul. He disliked it with a passion unknown to the mere mortals he had to play friends with. When he was finally free of his curse, this… thing he was bound for all of these years… This place would be the first to go.
He wandered, slinking through the hallways, shifting into the crystal structure of the castle. He moved through the walls, his body taking a jagged, sharp form to match the architecture. It hardly took him long to find the object of his search - a small, whistling dragon, cleaning the windows. He smirked and stepped out of the wall. “Why, Spike!”
The little dragon jumped, gasping and dropping the duster in his claw. “Gah! D-Discord!” He grinned brightly, crossing his claws behind his back. “What. What brings you here?”
“Well,” he said, balancing on his tail in a reclined position, “I was just visiting to see where lovely Twilight has gone! I was so wanting to ask her to a game of very advanced chess. 5 boards in the 4th dimension, so fun! But I hear my dear, dear friend went off to Griffonstone without me.” He glared then, shifting his body so that he was nose-to-nose with Spike. “Now, is that true?”
Spike gulped, wide-eyed. He flashed a shaky smile at Discord. “Y-Yep! She went off to Griffonstone with Rarity and Applejack! B-Because they hadn’t seen it yet and Twilight really likes griffon culture and all!”
Discord scowled at Spike before pulling away with a shrug. “Oh, well, I suppose they just forgot to invite me! I can always poof up that way and say hello!”
“N-NO!” Spike quickly shook his head, waving away the idea frantically. Discord raised a brow, smirking a slight bit, feeling his lips curl around his fang. Spike blinked. “Um. I’m sure Twilight will visit again and you should save your strength, right?” He smiled again, having found a good path to go down. “I mean, you did just wake up from a coma, right? Traveling that much might be bad for your health!”
“Oh, fiddlesticks, you’re right.” He sighed and pouted. “Well, fine. I’ll just have to wait and hear all the details of her trip when she gets back. Maybe she’ll bring me a souvenir!”
“Maybe,” Spike said, eyeing Discord as though he wasn’t about to sigh in relief when this was over with and Discord left.
He was very bad at this, Discord noted mentally. Very, very bad at this.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” Discord said, snapping the duster back into Spike’s claw. “You’re obviously very busy cleaning!” Discord turned his back. “Maybe when you’re done, you can write to Twilight about how put out I am that she didn’t invite me. And tell her that I want to know everything about her trip. And trust me.” He glanced back, eyes narrowing. “I can find out anything about her trip.”
Spike’s eyes widened. There was nothing vague or subtle about what Discord said. He knew - or if he didn’t know, he assumed, and that was dangerous enough.
Discord smirked, knowing Spike got the message. “Glad that got across. See you later, Spike. We really must chat again sometime.” With that, he teleported home, leaving the dragon to tremble in place before running to Twilight’s room.
It took minutes, really. Minutes where Discord simply relaxed on his own couch in his own house, taking a short breather. Even Gods needed a break now and then. But he felt the tremble of magic after those minutes and snapped his fingers. Intercepting magical letters was a ridiculously easy trick, especially when an inexperienced baby dragon was the one sending them. He grabbed the scroll as it appeared before him, scanning the contents of the letter quickly. He wasn’t one to waste time, after all.
Twilight,
I think Discord figured you out! He suspects you at least. He kept talking about how you didn’t invite him and said he can find out everything about your trip. I think he’s planning on doing something really bad to you guys. I didn’t want to send you anything, but you have to know that he’s planning something. I didn’t want him to ambush you! You should all be really careful.
Stay safe.
Spike.
Discord scoffed, poofing it on its way. So. They were almost certainly finding Dracon home. He supposed it had to happen eventually - those maps had been a certain risk. But this… this was exactly what he hoped for. He knew those maps would be wound, and clearly they would find his birthplace.
They would find The Gift.
That was truly the key to his victory - and defeat. He would clearly have to accelerate his plans. He hadn't expected them to set out so soon, he had expected Celestia to wait. But, well, this smelled more like Luna's doing. Curse that pesky, interfering Alicorn. But it was no matter, he could afford to speed things up. His counterpart was still asleep, though the stirrings he had felt today did not bode well for his victory. He would need to stifle the emotions rising inside him if he planned to win this eon long battle, once and for all.
But he couldn’t let those travelers be too at ease. If they met no resistance along the way, they might suspect that it was too easy. That would do him no good. Spike’s letter would alert them to the fact that he knew, and they were likely expecting resistance either way. He would have to plan this well… Something that would show them they’re a threat and keep them moving forward, but something they could still beat.
A shadow beast would be too much, he knew. The only one who would be near strong enough to defeat that was Twilight, and she would have no grasp of shadow magic, he knew. Windigos would be too easy to defeat, however, with their grasp of harmonic spells. Plus, he did not want Twilight to expend too much magic - she would be crucial to his plans, her and her magic. One of the others had to play the biggest role…
A non-magic user like Applejack would be helpless against a magical beast. No sense focusing on her. That left Rarity. What skills did that prissy little mare have that he could have as a “weakness” to his creations? Sensitivity to high pitched noises was always a possibility, but he didn’t want to subject even the meekest of monsters to her whining. He wasn’t cruel.
Yet.
Prissy mare with…
An eye for detail.
He smirked and rubbed his hands together. It was time to get some jewels.