Peacock Poppycock felt a drop of sweat crawl down her face as she bit the inside of her cheek. Scarlet Letter took note of her obvious anxiety and smirked, pushing her hoof a little closer. Peacock’s eyes swiveled back and forth and she gulped nervously. Hesitantly, she held her hoof out and froze, wracked with indecision.
Then she selected the card to the left instead of the right.
“Yes!” she shouted happily, slapping a pair of eights on the table, “Last card! That means you’re the old maid, Scarlet!”
“She’s not the only old maid in this room…” Colonel H. Mustard whispered to Professor Plum Pudding over by the billiard table, before something cold washed over his head.
“Oh sorry, I seem to have spilled this entire pitcher of lemonade on you. Accidentally.” White Wash said sweetly, casually setting the empty pitcher on the billiard table. Mustard scowled and left in search of towels.
“Mrs. White, could you clean that up before it stains?” Home Body asked absently, absorbed in polishing something in his lap. White scowled and left in search of a mop.
Plum Pudding levitated his pool cue over to the rack and walked to Body’s side, curious. “What’s that you have there? A new acquisition?”
Body nodded and held up a case containing five ordinary looking bits. “They may not look like much, but these are five of the first bits ever minted! Each one is worth a fortune!”
Plum adjusted his glasses and peered closely at the coins. “You could have fooled me. They just look like plain old, ordinary bits to me.”
“Are we going to sit around all day, or are we going to play?” Green Mail asked, scooping up the pile of cards and smoothing out the deck, “Maybe we could play a real game this time, something we could bet on…”
“Here dear, let me get that,” Scarlet said, using her magic to pick up the deck and shuffle it, “I can do it a lot faster with my magic, after all.”
Green frowned and tapped his hoof on the table. “You know, I’m a fair hand at magic myself.”
Everypony in the room paused and looked at him. Peacock cleared her throat awkwardly. “Um… you do remember you… are an earth pony, right?”
“Here, let me show you,” Green said, scooping the floating deck out of the air. He shuffled them amazingly fast with practiced motions, and then fanned them, cut the deck by rolling half of it over the back of his hoof, then spring flourished it to his opposite hoof. The rest of the table oohed and ahhed appropriately, and even Body put aside his case to watch.
Green Mail placed the deck in the center of the table and gestured at it. “Somepony check and see what the top card is?”
“Oh, I want to!” Peacock said excitedly, leaning over and flipping it up. “Six of hearts!”
Green nodded, reaching over to flip the card face down again and giving the deck a sharp tap. “Alright, now what card is on top of the deck again?”
Peacock frowned. “You didn’t do anything, so…” she said, turning the card over again, but gasped at what she saw. Somehow the top card had become the nine of diamonds. Everypony applauded as Green gave a sitting bow.
“What’s going on?” White Wash grumbled, pushing a mop bucket into the room.
“Green Mail was showing us magic!” Home said happily, waving her over, “That stain can wait, you must see this!”
White arched an eyebrow. “Magic? But you do know… well, he’s a…”
“This is a popular one!” Green said, quickly shooting three cards into a line on the table. He flipped them over to show the two of spades, the two of hearts, and the Princess of diamonds, and then turned them face down. ‘Pay close attention now, this is where it gets fun!”
He slapped the cards and shuffled them around so fast his hooves were a blur. He stopped, returning the cards to their original spots, and leaned back smugly. “Normally, this is where I'd ask you to lay down bets, but since we’re friends… I’ll put it on your tabs. Now, who can tell me where the Princess is?”
Plum and Scarlet immediately pointed to the center one, while White and Peacock chose the one on the left. Home Body shrugged and selected the card on the right, having lost track almost immediately. Green chuckled and revealed the two end cards as the two deuces.
“Ha! Can’t fool a unicorn at magic!” Scarlet said, giving Plum a hoofbump. Green’s only reply was to smirk and turn over the middle card, revealing the two of clubs.
“What?! Then where’s the Princess?!” Scarlet exclaimed, standing up sharply.
“What’s this about losing a Princess?” Mustard asked, walking back into the room and wiping his mane with a towel.
“I believe there’s a fresh basket of apples in the kitchen,” Green said smugly, “Why don’t you go pick one and bring it back, Scarlet? And don’t forget a knife!”
Scarlet sniffed and stomped out of the room, mind on her mission. Meanwhile, Green had placed four cards on end against each other in a box shape, and then another four cards on top of that diagonally. He carefully continued such until he had a tower six levels high, and finished by covering the top with a few more cards.
“Now you all watched me build that, right?” Green asked, waiting for their nods of assent to continue, “Good. Now who wants to knock it over?”
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m game,” Plum said, swiping his hoof through the tower before Green could say anything more. He cried out in pain though, for somehow the formally hollow tower of cards now contained a very solid candlestick. “Wha… but… how?!”
“Magic, of course!” Green smirked, collecting the cards as if it were no big deal. Plum stood and left the room, muttering something about finding ice to put on his hoof.
Mustard blinked. “Magic? But Green Mail’s not a…?”
“Can you do anything other than card tricks?” Peacock asked eagerly.
“Well…” Green said in a sing song voice, “Let me think about it…” He tapped his hoof against his temple five times, and each time a bit appeared from under his hoof to land on the table. He laughed at his friends’ amazed expressions and started to juggle the coins.
Home Body looked sharply at his new case, which was now empty. “Remarkable! I didn’t even notice anything. But, er, do be careful with-”
He was cut off as Scarlet ran back into the room and slammed the knife and an apple onto the table. “Alright, I got your stuff. Now where did the card go?”
Green placed the bits down on the table and picked up the knife, using it to very carefully cut the apple in half. Everypony crowded around him and gasped as something that looked very much like a folded playing card appeared to be wedged inside the apple core.
“Impossible!” Scarlet almost shouted, snatching the apple away in her magic and violently unfolded the card. She gaped in complete confusion at a very sticky Princess of Diamonds. “But I... I picked the apple at the very bottom of the basket… how did you possibly do that?!”
“A magician never reveals his tricks,” Green smirked.
“That isn’t proper magic!” Scarlet fumed, stamping her hoof in frustration. “This is just… tricks!”
“Well, I for one think they’re pretty impressive!” Home said, trying to calm the situation before it got too heated, “Maybe you could teach us how you do it?”
Green scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps… I could show you some card cuts and flourishes, at least. We’ll need more cards though…”
“I think I saw some in the dining room!” Peacock volunteered, hopping up and darting from the room. On the way out she nearly ran into Plum, who slipped back into the room still nursing his hoof.
Picking up the deck again, Green sent the cards spinning and flipping around with only one hoof. “Alright, watch this one closely. I call this trick the Vanishing-”
BOOM!!!! Thud.
The whole mansion seemed to shake as something outside exploded. Everypony leapt up and raced to the window to see what was going on.
“There!” Home said, pointing at a rainbow colored arc of light passing through the sky. “It’s just that mare from town, doing one of her ‘Rainbooms’ again. She must have been right over the mansion when she did it this time.”
“Well that explains the boom, but what about the thud?” Plum asked.
“What thud?” Mustard asked.
Plum Pudding frowned and tilted his head. “I thought I heard a thud, just after the boom. I wonder what it was.”
“Um… I think I know.” Scarlet said, pointing back at the game table. Green Mail lay slumped over it, the cards spread in complete disarray around him. Next to his head lay the candlestick.
Home rushed over and checked on him. “Well, he appears to just be knocked out. But why would somepony attack poor Green Mail? Did anypony see who did it?”
Everypony shook their heads and explained that they had all been watching out the window at the time. They weren’t even paying attention to who was at the window with them. White stepped over to the table and gave it a critical once over with her eyes.
“Well, the only thing that’s missing are those bits,” she said, “But that doesn’t tell us anything.”
“Actually, it tell us everything!” Peacock said from the doorway. She pointed with the hoof not holding the extra decks of cards she’d retrieved. “The thief must be you!”
Who burgled the bits?
And here's a map if you need it.
