//------------------------------// // Fashion Horse // Story: You're Getting Better // by 2Merr //------------------------------// "Back on Earth, it’s considered a sin for a business to be open on Saturday,” you grumble, following behind the prancing pink pony on the way to Rarity’s boutique. Not only is it Saturday, it’s six-fucking-thirty in the morning. Why the hell would anything be open this early? “Wow, neat! We actually have something similar here.” Pinkie spins around mid-bounce and starts skipping backwards. “In Equestria, it’s a sin to put two different types of syrup on your pancakes.” It’s not even remotely similar, but you don’t have the heart to tell her that. “Aaaaaaaand,” Pinkie twirls on a back leg and stops with a flourish towards a circus tent. “Here we are! Carousel Boutique!” Oh. It’s not a circus tent. You aren’t comforted by this fact at all. Who in their right mind could have possibly thought that design was a good idea? If this is supposed to be the workplace of the pony in charge of making your clothes, you’d prefer to go naked. Before you can voice your completely valid concerns, Pinkie throws open the door and marches in, leaving you with no choice but to follow. Once inside, your concern only deepens. Every inch of fabric on display is covered in ribbons, lace, and gems. So many gems. Tearing your eyes away from the glittering dresses, you see Pinkie finishing up a conversation with a white unicorn with a curled purple mane and tail. "Well, I'm glad you've had a change of heart, darling," Rarity says, turning to face you. "I'm going to make sure you look-" She chokes on her next words, her eyes widening in surprise. For the next few minutes, she just stands there with her mouth open and eyes wide. "Oh dear Celestia," she finally whispers. "Um... what's wrong?" you ask, afraid of the answer. "Your clothes are filthy!" Rarity exclaims. "How could you have let them fall into such a state?" You just shrug. What are you supposed to say? 'I wear them every day and rarely wash them.' That would just make her mad. Or disgusted. Probably both. Saying it to yourself really puts into perspective just how bad things have gotten. You make a silent promise to start working on your hygiene. You have to, since Pinkie is gonna drag you around to meet people. "That's why we came to you, Rarity," Pinkie chimes in. "He can't wear those anymore, so he needs new stuffs to wear." "Emphasis on need," Rarity mutters. "Well, come along, Anonymous. Let's get you measured so I can make you some real clothes." She trots into a side room, her mood apparently brightened by the idea of designing something new. "Nothing too fancy, please," you call after her. The last thing you need is a closet full of clothes you can't afford. You follow the white mare into the side room, Pinkie bouncing faithfully at your side. The new room is covered wall-to-wall in rolls of variously colored fabrics. A desk with a sewing machine sits in front of a window. Rarity is currently digging through one of the drawers, humming to herself. "I don't know what humans consider fancy, darling. You'll have to specify." She emerges with a roll of measuring tape and a ball of yarn in her hooves. "I mean, just a few sets that look kinda like these. Maybe a few different colored shirts." You'll probably need winter clothing eventually, but you can cross that bridge when you get to it. "What?" Rarity looks up sharply. "But that's... That's so boring!" she cries. "Are you sure I can't make you something with-" "If the next word out of your mouth is frills or gems, I'm going to boop you." "You wouldn't dare boop a lady!" Rarity scoffs, sounding affronted by the mere thought. "Ooh! Boop me! Boop me!" Pinkie excitedly demands. You reach down and lightly poke Pinkie's nose, making her collapse to the floor in a fit of giggles. Rarity watches for a moment before turning back to you. "I was going to say lace, thankyouverymuch." "No, that's even worse." "B-but..." Rarity sticks her lower lip out and flattens her ears. "Why not?" Oh no. That pout. Is it some pony instinct to act cute when they don't get what they want? "Pleeeeeeeeease?" Rarity starts batting her eyelashes, her lower lip trembling. No, this is clearly intentional. She's an evil manipulator. You can only imagine how many others have fallen into her trap. Her adorable, marshmallow-filled trap. You have to resist. "...Fine." You are weak. A loud squee stabs your ears. You wait until you can hear again to speak. "I need something for my job. Can you make me a suit or something?" "But of course, darling! Where do you work?" "I start working as the mayor's secretary next week." "Oh, you poor dear..." Rarity whispers to herself. "What was that?" "I said hold still, dear." Rarity levitates the measuring tape in front of her. "Arms out, please." You stretch your arms to the side. Rarity tries measuring your waist first, but Pinkie immediately starts swatting at the excess tape. The seamstress absentmindedly tosses the ball of yarn into a corner. Pinkie jumps after it and begins playing with it. "That should earn us a few minutes," Rarity smirks. You decide to add yarn to your short list of things to buy once you get money. The measuring only takes a minute, and the designs Rarity draws up afterwards are simple and comfy-looking. She calls them "bland and boring," but what does she know about fashion? Since everything is finished, you start to untangle your pink party popper. You're almost sad to say goodbye to Rarity. Sure, she talks nearly as much as Pinkie, but she has a pleasant voice that's easy to listen to. She also doesn't try to force awkward small talk, which you're grateful for. She simply prattles on about some pony gossip that you don't understand. "Thanks, Rarity!" Pinkie says once you remove her accidental yarn muzzle. "C'mon, Nonny! The train to Canterlot leaves soon!" "Canterlot?!" Rarity shrieks behind you. So much for having a pleasant voice. "Why didn't you tell me before? You can't go to Canterlot looking like that!" The white unicorn is in full-blown panic mode now. "It's not that big a deal, really," you say, holding your hands out in an attempt to calm her down. "We're just going to-" "Not that big a deal?!" Your poor ears will never be the same. "How can you say such a thing?!" "But, Rarity-" Pinkie tries cutting in, but it's far too late. "No! No buts! I'm going to make Anon something presentable to wear to Canterlot!" "But-" "I said no buts! It will be ready in two hours. Now, shoo!" She shoves both of you into the main foyer and slams the door. You hear a lock click. Pinkie looks up at you dejectedly. "The next train doesn't leave until noon. What are we supposed to do until then?" You think for a minute, trying to block out the insane laughter coming from the door behind you. "Unless you like corners, I got nothing," you shrug. "Hmmm." Pinkie pulls out a wooden bucket with flashing light bulbs on it and shoves it on her head. 'Thinking Cap' is written in crayon on the front. You leave Pinkie to her meditation and walk over to the nearby sofa for a nap. You sit down and lean back against the soft pillow. The soft, giggling pillow. "I have an idea, Nonny," Pinkie whispers in your ear. As you leap to your feet in surprise, your heart only skips two beats instead of the usual three. Maybe one day, you'll learn to expect these things from the reality-defying creature you call a friend. "C'mon, it'll be fun!" She then bounds off the sofa and over to the door. "What do you have in mind?" you ask with trepidation. Pinkie's idea of fun is a little different from yours. "Everything." Oh no.