Nothing but bile came up, and acid, adding to the already vile scents of the poorly-lit outbuilding. I scrambled out as soon as I could.
Fear of a dreaded future warred with what I'd learned from Da and my friends about marriage—that I had to accept what was negotiated for me. I mean, wasn't it something extraordinary that Umbra wanted me as a partner and accepted that I had strong magic?
My untrusting side argued I'd be locked into his goals and his agenda, but what mare had a choice? When she married into a family she became a member of that family. She lost her old family. Not just because she moved to another village, as Mare had, or because a mare's new husband chose to forbid contact—there were plenty of feuds in town—but because of foals.
I wasn't so stupid as to miss the us and them aspect. That explained Da's reluctance to further train me in the trade. That bespoke of him using the word "stigma."
I had to believe that the family would continue when I married out. I had to accept many things.
Nevertheless, I felt sick and shaky returning inside. Da carved a bowl out of black-streaked tan wood block in the light of a window. The curved chisel in his magic made ticking-chipping sounds. He clicked a horseshoe on the floor, implying I should join him.
The last thing I wanted to learn was a secret of his trade. I added confusion to my list of discomforts. I opened the kitchen faucet and poured a bowl full of water from the barrel that I had filled from the town well; I did that thrice weekly.
More work for Da. Summer Daze wouldn't do it.
I swished my mouth out and spat into the wooden basin. It drained outdoors with a gurgle.
Summer Daze asked, "Are you all right?"
I involuntarily gasped. Summer Daze didn't do common empathy. I braced myself against the sideboard as I looked at the table. With a shiver, I wondered what manner of changeling had replaced him.
His gaze met mine as the quill in his magic danced, skritching down the question he'd just asked. Since I doubted anypony but my baby brother could cast Dictation, he couldn't be a changeling. Today was a day of unexpected revelation, but changelings were the stuff of old mares tales meant to scare foals.
"I'm fine," I answered.
He ambled over. "I doubt that."
He examined my jaw, eyes large in his spectacles as he squinted in the uneven light that filtered through the under-eave vents. My jaw hurt; he paused while looking there.
Great. Bruises!
He sniffed my mouth, then looked at the expanse of my cloak from hood to tail. He examined a tiny rent in the hem and dug out a little twig with his teeth. He spat it on the floor, tilted his head and sniffed.
He asserted, "You were watching from the top of the paddock near the big cedar trees."
Was it an admission that he observed more than he let on? No, I decided. He had had to observe everything to cast his illusion.
When I took too long to answer, he answered for me. "You were."
I nodded.
He smelled my cloak and neck and stated, "Umbra did not touch you."
"Not physically. He showed that propriety at least."
Da had quietly entered the kitchen alcove, amber eyes wide. I glanced at him, then back to Summer Daze whose lips had become a thin line—the facial expression he displayed when his calculations missed what he had approximated.
He asked, "Did he hurt you?"
"Yes. The worm led me through town on a rope like an animal. He grabbed my muzzle in his magic. He proposed to marry me."
There! Now tears rolled down my cheeks.
Summer Daze blinked a few times, thinking it through. He grabbed a dish towel in his teeth and waved it before me.
I tossed it back on the sideboard.
"He hurt you because?"
"I was 'lurking.'"
He said, "An opinion biased in his favor." He nodded, turning back to the table. "Umbra is dangerous." In a moment, he was paging through the notebook again. He stopped on a half-written page; likely the spell or notes he'd copied from the grimoire.
Da and I looked at each other and simultaneously shrugged.
Cued by a forming yet fleeting thought, I looked over Summer Daze's shoulder. Odd. The spell looked like Motivation, but instead of rolling a pony cart, it had to do with blocks of crystal. In the center of what he'd copied, I read, "To adore the brilliance of the light that gives us warmth." Below it was scrawled, "We ask that you smile upon us and rise above the earth."
My fur stood on end as a chill ran up my spine to my scalp. Summer Daze had copied the spell to raise the sun!
I read the entire fragment. The next thing I knew, I had read it a half-dozen times, breathlessly, obsessively turning pages back, forward, back, forward... The strangeness fascinated me—captivated me. With each reading, the spell seemed more powerful. The words seemed to shift position, switching meaning, further explaining a concept that nevertheless flit away from my conscious understanding.
Was this the exciting frustration storied in ballads and tales about what a stallion felt courting a tantalizing but uncooperative mare? Umbra's magenta eyes flashed in my mind and broke the compulsion.
I began tapping my forehead with a hoof. Confusion... and now distraction. Enough! The thought that had brought me to look over my brother's shoulder was…
My heart raced. "Summer Daze, did you raise the sun?"
"No," he said, not even lifting his gaze.
Of course, he hadn't. What were the chances he was the one?
Da had stood looking over Summer Daze's other shoulder; he now looked at me, his eyes glimmering.
But, I thought, then asked, "Did you help raise the sun?"
"No."
I closed my eyes tightly, clenching and shaking. I really needed something to have worked out. My hope felt like a bug gazing up at a hammer head. "What happened with the mages? Why are you here so soon?"
He shrugged. "The Collegiate of Mages did not find what they sought. I decided to come home."
Smash! The hope that I might steer Summer Daze into a job where he might support Da and himself splattered into lifeless droplets of might-have-been. I felt like a rag doll thrown to the ground. No worse day had yet dawned. My life: ruined. I might have as well been dead.
I barely heard Summer Daze say, "I must work on Teleport, now. Remember, Umbra is dangerous."
Tears streamed down my cheeks and I moaned. I galloped into my room to hide from the world.
#
I had no idea how long I lay there, on my back, hooves up, wrapped in my yellowed prickly wool blanket. Thanks to my mares-cloak and the continuous sunlight of the broken day, I'd begun to sweat.
I didn't care.
I kept replaying what had happened, trotting down endless what-if paths that led nowhere. Hours passed in a useless shuffle, but it delayed my arrival in that cavern of despair within which my horseshoes echoed now.
I had to marry Umbra.
But… I would work to negotiate down the dowry he demanded! A dowry was my wealth as a mare in my new family—in theory; in practice, not so much. However, I could not allow my father and brother to be thrown out on the street to beg, either. I did have a negotiating advantage. Maybe. Umbra desired a willing partner, somepony who would willingly use her magic strong for him, somepony who could read and reason for him.
I could offer my willing service in exchange for him reducing the dowry he demanded. To ensure the continuance of my family, I'd willingly sell my body and soul. I'd willingly sell everything I'd learned from Summer Daze. I owed my baby brother that much to secure his future.
Why—why had the mages rejected him?
It made no sense. He'd demonstrated magic far more powerful and nuanced than the others, including Rouge with his spatial-coordinate-transformational conjuration. Stronger maybe than the mages, too. I agreed with Summer that the spell cancelling gesture was no more than a nice trick. Sheesh, the mages hadn't even gotten Sun Rise, or whatever they called the spell, perfected in the two years since the Breaking.
I scoffed. Leader and response choral chants? Really!?
Wait. Why had the mages rejected him?
Had Summer Daze not asked? So typical of my brother to lose interest and just wander off to find something more interesting. He'd said, "I decided to go home."
Oh, By Platium's Grace, that was it! He had simply walked off! In their elation, the mages had celebrated the rising of the sun. Ignored, my baby brother departed.
No, no, no! I had to find the Collegiate to repair their mistake. Our lives, our destinies, depended upon it! My blanket tangled up my legs as I fought myself free. I fell out of bed with a grunt, and scrambled to get my hooves under me.