//------------------------------// // Chapter 12: Three's a Crowd // Story: Very loopy // by Sollace //------------------------------// Princess Celestia, Celestia, and Luna stood in the middle of the castle courtyard overlooking an empty path of dirt. They each bore a frown, all except for Celestia, who was currently enjoying her role as the Duke of Banana, and had summoned an entire bundle of her citizens to hold under her shoulder whilst she procedurally peeled, cut, and ate each of them, one at a time. “...strange.” Luna was the first to speak. Scratching her chin, she squinted and levitated one of the glass shards in the air. It glistened in the afternoon sun, reflecting a ray of light and immediately blinding the pony to her right. “Gah!” Celestia screamed, dropping her bananas and falling back. She collapsed to the ground, clutching at her face with her hooves screaming, “MY EYES!” as she rolled around helplessly on the floor behind. The other Celestia ignored her own antics. She nonchalantly picked up the pile of bananas, pulled one off in her magic, peeled it, dismissed the peel to somewhere she didn’t care about, and took a massive bite. “Yesh, welsh,” she began, speaking past a mouth full of the mushy delight, and leaned in closer to Luna’s side, “Arsh yoush shure thash the rish shpot?” “Absolutely.” Luna nodded. She flicked the glass to the ground, showing no lack of disgust, and turned to her sister. “Why do you ask?” “Well...” Celestia rolled her eyes, and stepped side. “It’s just...” Without another word, she motioned to the sea of broken glass behind them, and then up to the rows upon rows of smashed windows covering the entire east side of the castle. Near the top, Luna spotted a contingent of Royal Guards and worker ponies grappling with a hanging scaffold as they struggled to slot the coloured shard back into place. In the brief bout of silence, Celestia’s screaming came to an abrupt halt, and was replaced with a distant, but interested, “Oh, wait.” They both continued to ignore her. Luna’s ears dropped, realisation dawning on her. “...Oh.” She then shrugged, and crossed her hooves. “Well it wasn’t my idea to play Buckball inside the castle in the first place.” “No, but you very well could have stopped me,” Princess Celestia deadpanned. Luna’s ears perked, and she had to suppress the urge to laugh. Instead, she looked to Celestia with but a slight smirk. “Well, it is your castle after all—” she punctuated with a prod to Celestia in the chest, eliciting a slight scrunch and a glare from her. “You have all the right to be playing Buckball inside it however much you like.” She then turned her nose up and spun around, putting her back to Celestia. “I am in no position to be stopping you.” Celestia was taken aback. “I—” She was at a loss for words, flushing slight pink as the rage began to well up inside her. “’In no position to stop you’!?” she screamed, dropping the bananas and trotted around to Luna to look Luna in the face. “’NO POSITION TO STOP YOU!?’” she repeated, unintentionally mimicking Luna. “Yes,” Luna nodded, not one to be intimidated. This wasn’t the first, not would it likely be the last time she’s be subjected to the force of the Canterlot Voice, thus she held her ground, standing like an immovable rock, or a moon, maybe. Celestia continued unabated. “I was dragging me across the entire castle calling for your help!” “And how am I supposed to be interpreting that?” By now the princess had turned completely red, and was on the verge of setting her suit aflame. She trembled, like an exploding sun, and she glared down at Luna. “How—” she started, but stumbled over her words as they caught in her throat. She took a gulp, and seethed. “Sister, is this going to be a repeat of one thousand—” Suddenly, the two titans were interrupted before butting heads by a hoof on each of their shoulders, and Celestia butted her head in between them. “Hey!” She looked to each in turn, glanced between them with a smile. “If you two are all done here, I think I’ve found Princess Luna.” “Princess Celestia!” Galloping as quickly as his hooves could carry him, Torn Page’s eyes scanned the hall, shooting back and forth in search of the princess, at the same time keeping an ear turned back for the sounds of his pursuer. Behind him, a pair of saddlebags bobbed against his back as he ran, the edge of a tattered, torn, and crumpled scroll poking out from under the top flap. Beyond that, were the rumbling roar Metal-clad hooves against marble tiles. “Celestia!” Page repeated, pleading. He skidded to a halt, grabbing hold of a passing housekeeping pony by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Their heads almost knocked together as he screamed. “Where’s Princess Celestia!?” The pony flinched, recoiling from the sudden violence. She shrugged, pulling a hoof free, and pointed towards the castle gardens. “I think I saw h—” “DO NOT THINK THAT THOU HAST LOST US THAT EASILY!” Princess Luna’s voice boomed, reverberating through the hall and making both ponies jump. The walls and ceiling rumbled, shaking under the force of the Canterlot View—Nightmare edition. “Ah!” Page blanched. Screaming, he pushed the maid out of his way and set off in the direction she’d pointed, screaming back a quick, “Thanks, and you never saw me!” over his shoulder. The maid took a step back and watched as the stallion galloped away, turned a corner to take the stairs, and immediately forwards, tripping over his own beard. Soon after she was passed by a whirlwind, and a pink-purple haze as Princess Luna took chase. “—‘In no position to stop you’!?” Celestia sat on the steps of the castle, half dressed in her banana suit with the lower half draped over her withers. She was joined by a banana guard with a large bottle of industrial-grade sun block. He showed no excess of enthusiasm as he procedurally rubbed the thick lotion in the Princess’ shoulders and mane whilst she watched curiously as her sisters argued. It wasn’t long before both of them perked up, their ears pricking at the sound of faint screams, clomping of hooves, and the unmistakable—partly due to being the direct target many times in the past—wrath of Princess Luna, and a stallion approached from behind gasping and wheezing. “Princess—” Torn Page gasped, holding a hoof to his chest—“Celestia.” He leaned sideways, bracing himself against the doorframe. His appearance now much more fitting of his name, the stallion was a mess with his mane and tail frizzed and clumped, and his beard long since discarded and replaced by a brown ‘stash. A wave of relief washed over him as soon as he’d seen Princess Celestia, and immediately he flashed a quick bow, inclining his head. “I’m so sorry for interrupting, Princess, but I—” he breathed “—have a very important matter to bring to you.” “Do you think it could wait?” Celestia asked. She gestured behind her, to the other princesses currently standing in the middle of the courtyard, breathing down each other’s noses like a married couple. “I’m kind of in the middle of something here.” “Um...” Page looked up, past the princess, towards the second Celestia and Luna as they began wrestling with each other in the dirt. He blinked once, then a second, and a third, not fully understanding what he was witnessing. Finally, realising that he’d been staring, Torn Page coughed into his hoof and decided to roll with it anyway. “Uh, yeah”— He levitated the torn remnants of the scroll up in his magic. –“I, uh...” He gestured to the scroll, looking to it momentarily, and then dropped it. “I’ve been requested permission to give as permission that you allow permission for Princess Luna to—“ “Wait!” Celestia cut in. Her eyes suddenly lit up at the mention of her sister’s name, and she leaned in closer as she whispered. “... Did you say ‘Princess Luna’?” “Uh, well...” Page was taken slightly off guard by the princess’ sudden advanced. He took a step back, glancing nervously to the banana guard beside him—who responded in kind with a shrug. “...” He inclined his head, his voice-- slightly unsure—wobbling as he answered the princes. “Y-yes, b—” “Say no more!” She beamed. Spinning around, Celestia pointed a hoof to address the guard, “Private Pansie—” “Private Daisy,” the guard corrected, “Princess.” “Yes, yes,” Celestia nodded, waving a hoof, “Of course. Private Daisy Princess”— “No, it’s j—” The guard was cut off as Celestia continued over his own words. She spun on her heel, turning her back to them both and waving a over her shoulder as she spoke. –“Stay here, watch Mr. Page for me, and make sure he doesn’t disappear.” Thus, just like that, the princess set off after her other self and Luna screaming, “Hey, guys! I think I found her!” and leaving Torn Page and the banana guard alone to their own devices. At length, Torn Page spoke up. “Um...” He coughed into his hoof, and cast a sideways glance at the guard, looking up and down his yellow-clad self. “... so, do you like b—” “Don’t,” the guard snapped, almost growling beneath his breath, “... say it.”