As Spike sat on a short stool, Snips looked outside his bedroom door one final time, sighing with both relief and excitement. "The coast is clear!" he announced cheerfully, bounding backwards into the room clumsily.
Snails would not stop staring at Snip's immense collection. Even after all the nights he'd been in the fellow unicorn's bedroom, he had never seen this 'secret compartment' of his closet. The short, pudgy unicorn waved a hoof outward to the open wardrobe, motioning for Spike to enter and take his pick. The dragon quickly hopped off the wobbly stool and waddled toward the large gap where a mirror-door had been slid open. He stared in awe at Snips' impressive quantity of these and wandered into the dark space to find one perfect for him.
Snips and Snails heard metallic scraping sounds as Spike repeatedly said 'no' and rejected more and more items and turned them to one side. Then came hysterical laughter and a pink, frilly garment was thrown out; it was decorated with hearts and white bunny rabbits and had a lace trim on the hem. Snails instantly blushed, his face turning a darker shade of red than Big Mac’s coat. "They- they're my sisters! How did they get in there? Oh, I better...go and put them back...in her room!"
Snips quickly galloped out, holding the underwear in his mouth leaving a faint scent of strawberries behind him. Snails stared at the bedroom door for a minute, then his slow brain kicked him in the head, "hey wait a minute! Snails doesn't have a sister!" Slowly his eyes widened at the enormity of what he had just learned. He knew that his friend had some bizarre interests, but he never thought that he was into that sort of thing.
The orange unicorn quickly turned around and no longer heard Spike, assuming he had found a suitable item, "Spike, you can come out of the closet now, eh?" The young unicorn snickered as his prepubescent sense of humour twisted the words that had come out of his mouth.
The dragon slowly walked of the wardrobe, slightly embarrassed that this was the only one of Snips’ vast collection that would fit him. "I still don't understand how he has one with only two holes," Spike pondered, "shouldn't there be four? I mean, he is a fully functioning pony isn’t he?”
"I dunno, Snails has some pretty odd interests," Snails explained, struggling on the big word 'interests'. The pony in question returned to the room, proud of Spike's choice. He told the dragon it was one of his finest specimens and that they should try it right away. Spike climbed up and stood on the stool this time as Snips and Snails surrounded and circled him, looking so see where to start. Eventually they decided what to do first and began.
Snips slipped part of it through Spike's arms using his magic, "so what've you got planned for today?" Snips mimicked the slightly more high-brow style that the spa ponies had when speaking to their clientele. He assumed that it would help set the mood for what Spike had planned if he could envision being at the spa with Aloe and Lotus attending to his every need.
Spike laughed, "I guess we'll start by eating out." He was completely nonchalant as he spoke, but he was truly just masking his complete terror and excitement. He knew that eating out was exactly the kind of thing that Rarity would enjoy, but he knew that for a pony of her distinguished tastes he would have to be very careful about where he would go.
Snails whistled and began to help fitting Spike, "nice one!"
"And then I guess we're going to number 69," Spike bragged, already admiring Snips and Snails' work. While the two ponies were very young, he knew that both of them had more than enough experience in this position. Whenever Spike had a problem like this, he knew exactly who to call. Well, when he couldn’t get Rarity to do it that is.
"Wow! So soon?" Snips asked in amazement, his awe at the prospect of what Spike had suggested audible in his voice. For a dragon so small, getting Rarity to 69 was not going to be easy, but if he pulled it off, he would have the respect of every colt in Equestria.
Spike nodded, then Snips and Snails finished preparing him, "and after that?" Snails asks. Snails was out of breath from just hearing about the dragons evening plans. Especially after all of the exertion the dragon was going through with the two you colts right now, he would be exhausted after his time with Rarity.
"Then we're gonna get busy!" Spike laughed. His eyes narrowed and he looked ever so slightly scary, for a purple dragon on a stool.
Snips then led Spike into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. He opened a small cupboard and started browsing through the assorted oils and lotions, then brought out a bottle and sprayed Spike with it for a bit too long. The dragon began to cough and accidentally coughed fire on the unicorn's shower curtain. Snips quickly grabbed the showerhead with his magic and put out the flames. Snips took himself by surprise more than anypony else for his uncharacteristically swift reaction.
"Sorry," Spike said quietly, hoping that the two colts could forgive him. In his current excited state, anything could happen and he hoped that Snips and Snails knew to expect the unexpected.
"Ah, accidents happen. Oh yeah! Speaking of accidents..." Snips looked carefully in the cupboard and opened a small compartment at the back, obviously to hide it from his parents, and brought out a small box and shook it, the contents rattled softly as the flexible edges of the contents slid across the interior.
"You might need one of these," he winked.
Spike studied the box, then pushed them away from him, "I won't need these, I've not used them before. I'll be just fine. Besides, while they might work for you, I need something with a little more...substance."
Snips sighed and returned the box to its secret compartment. Then the two unicorns chauffeured Spike to his special night. As they pulled up to the curb, Snips and Snails turned to face the dragon who was sitting rather awkwardly in the back seat. After offering him a product from the box once again to no avail, Snips opened the door.
"Don't do it too hard, eh?" Snails snickered. Spike gave him a condescending glance before shaking his head, preparing himself for the upcoming hurdle and marched to the door.
***
Spike grabbed the long, smooth object and slowly inserted it into Rarity's open mouth. She giggled and nibbled on it, then quickly bit and pulled a part off. As she chewed she gave Spike a somewhat sultry smile causing the purple dragon to chuckle slightly.
"Careful, Rarity!” He exclaimed with mock chivalry. “You eat all that so quickly you're gonna get a wicked bad tummy ache," Spike laughed.
"Oh, Spikey Wikey, you really haven't been paying attention, have you?" Rarity said, sighing seductively. Her eyes closed for a fraction longer than a standard blink and as she reopened them, her eyelashes seemed to slice through the air like burning hot knives, causing Spike to turn a violent shade of red.
"What?" Spike asked, then looked down, having lost all recollection that there was anything else in the room besides the gorgeous white unicorn "oh, there's nothing left. You finished that way quicker than I expected Rarity, I’m impressed."
"So, should we wrap this up?" Rarity laughed demurely. Using her magic, Rarity levitated a small scrap of cloth to her mouth and slowly cleaned away the warm, sticky residue from her lips. It was clear that she had enjoyed it, but she didn’t want the rest of Ponyville to know that she had.
Spike clicked his claws and a pony came up to them, "we're finished here." Spike turned a deep crimson when Rarity looked at him. He should have known that trying to be cool would result in him looking like a fool. But when Rarity started giggling, Spike couldn’t help but chuckle awkwardly alongside her.
"I'll bring you your bill," the unenthusiastic pony sighed.
"This was a lovely meal, Spike, I love eating out," Rarity smiled.
"It's the least I could do for the one I love," the dragon replied, resting his head on his hands and slightly shutting his eyes. A fire burned in the corner, its beautiful orange light dancing across Rarity’s refined porcelain white features, glints of violet splashed across the crystal white table cloth and for that moment Spike forgot that the rest of the world existed. In that instant there was only him and Rarity.
Once they had paid their bill, they exited the restaurant and turned the corner and quickly approached the Carousel Boutique, the intricately painted ‘69’ on the door seemed to sparkle in the moonlight. They walked into the darkened house, feeling the silence enveloping them in a sweet embrace of solitude. Sweetie Belle was staying with the other two crusaders at Fluttershy's cottage so they knew that they would not be disturbed tonight.
Tentatively, Rarity led Spike up the stairs and to her bedroom. She flicked her mane and went to her bed to lie down, then patted it to signal Spike to join her. After swiftly removing the suit that Snips and Snails had assisted him with, the dragon smiled and his tail rose up. He slowly walked towards the bed and slid under the covers with Rarity, making sure that his tail lightly grazed her flank.
Spike turned to face his lover, only to find her already staring at him. There was a wild look in her eye that Spike had never seen before. He liked it though. There were things that he was going to achieve with her tonight that would make her head spin and leaving her buzzing with pleasurable electricity for days. They got closer together and were about to start something. Spike could feel himself becoming more and more aroused as Rarity seemed to press her body up against him with renewed vigor. But suddenly Rarity's bedroom door burst open and Rainbow Dash was stood on her hind legs at the open door. Rarity screamed and covered her body with the bed sheet.
Spike just stared at the Pegasus with a look of horror and shame.
"Spike! Twilight told me I'd find you here!" Rainbow Dash said, trying to catch her breath as she had obviously rushed to Rarity's boutique.
"Rainbow Dash! How dare you disturb our intimate moment! Just what is going on?" Rarity asked furiously. Spike was visibly terrified of the situation. Now he not only had the most impressive athlete in Equestria hunting him down, but now he was in bed with an angry Rarity. Normally Rarity was rather placid, if melodramatic, but when she got angry her rage could be fatal to anypony within a five mile radius.
"Spike, I'm pregnant! And you're the father!"