//------------------------------// // Who I am // Story: Secrets of the Heart // by Quick Fix //------------------------------// January 9th Bounty gritted his teeth slightly as he tried not to think about how he was still in Ponyville. He had the bits for a train to Canterlot, he had the determination to go, he needed to go ASAP. Unfortunately for him, a misjudgement by the weather management teams had resulted in an avalanche in the mountains and the direct train route had been blocked. Snow could be cleared away easily but repairs to the tracks would take a few days. Taking a train to somewhere like Vanhoover and then onward to Canterlot would cost more than he had at the moment and going directly would likely require a death wish. The fields between Ponyville and Canterlot had seen a lot of snowfall and it was bitingly cold outside of town. It didn't help that a fog had descended during the night and he could only see about thirty feet in front of him at present. So he was stuck here for a few more days and he was bored to tears already. Applejack had returned from her map mission in high spirits two days ago, though she had been shocked by the news of his little shutdown. Despite his best efforts to persuade her that he was still fit to keep working for as long as it took for him to head for Canterlot, she had restricted him to only the lightest duties and was making a habit of checking on him. Not that he minded the attention, getting to hang around with a pony as sweet as her was always a plus. It was just that he didn't feel as weak as he had before. Now that he had begun to understand the truth about himself, his outbursts were becoming easer to manage. Much of his free time was now taken up thinking, trying to remember. Some parts he now understood, others less so. He had taken it all better than expected though, the revelation that he had been...Well, he still wasn't entirely sure what he had been. He was far from a normal pony though, if he was even a pony at all. The fact Princess Celestia had given him his false identity could mean so many things, the only one he was completely confident in ruling out was the possibility that he was a changeling. On top of that, during his concentrated efforts to learn more he had seen flashes of memories. Images, voices, hints of a life that wasn't his. He had never been able to catch them long enough to study them, if he just had a little time to do so... Luckily, today seemed to offer that chance for him. Now that he had finally gotten some proper rest, Applejack had finally relented on making him take it easy and assigned him to man the apple stall for this morning's market. Since the spots in the market had to be booked in advance without explicitly knowing the weather, it looked like he had a morning to think things over. "I've had worse starts to the day." Bounty said to himself as he lifted a pair of buckets filled with apples into the stall. Given how few ponies were likely to be around today, it was likely he wouldn't even sell that many. With the buckets firmly in place he stepped behind the stall and looked down at a small campfire that he had gathered earlier. A spark of magic ignited the branches and started a fire that rose gently and bathed him in a sudden, strong but welcome warmth. Bounty couldn't help but smile to himself. Considering it was still firmly winter, this setup wasn't bad. Most of the other stalls he could see through the fog were being manned by other produce traders today, all of them doing their best to stave off the chill in the air. One of the others, a flax yellow earth stallion with a green mane and eyes and tri-carrot cutie mark, was also attempting to get a fire going with much less success. After a minute he got up and looked over toward Bounty's position, trying to stave off the shivers. "S-'scuse me," Carrot Crunch called from his stand. "Could I g-get a little help with this?" "Err, sure." Bounty replied, silently surprised that he was being asked for help. He wasn't going to ignore it though and quickly trotted over, lighting up the stallion's fire with similar ease. "Thanks!" Crunch said happily as he started to warm up, only to stop as he noticed Bounty glancing round warily. "Hey, you ok?" "I hope so." Bounty replied quietly. He could see the looks a few of the ponies at the nearby stands, silently watching him. He didn't need to recognise them to know what they were thinking about him, virtually everypony in town had heard about what happened at the party. "Hey, chin up, eh? I know you've had a rough patch but they don't last forever, right?" "Yeah, I guess they don't. Thanks." Bounty said as he nodded to Crunch and went back to his own stall. He hadn't given it much thought before, but this did seem to be the end of everything he'd been going through. The mood variations, the migraines, the blackouts, all of it had been his mind turning against itself as the truth fought to emerge again. Now that he had started to realise just what he was, all those issues that had plagued him for weeks, months in some cases, were all starting to subside. They still lingered though, because realising and accepting were two different things, and he couldn't accept it fully until he answered the biggest question. Not what he was, but who he was, before he was 'Bounty'. The fog was just starting to lift by now and only one or two ponies had entered the marketplace to shop, though none of them had come his way. That offered some time to try and think about how he could work out the rest of the mystery surrounding him. Those glimpses that he caught when thinking about the subject, those felt like they were hits to the absolute truth that lay just beyond his reach. It was a stretch in logic, but he had nothing else to go on right now. He closed his eyes and focused on that last one he could remember, doing his best to relax and just try to remember. What was the most significant detail from that flash? Something white...Laid out in front of him. It had to be a tablecloth, with quite a sizeable table under it. There was...A teapot in the center, alongside a cake of some kind. He had a cup of tea in front of him as well. That was all he could remember seeing in his glimpse. But the more he thought about it, the more the memory just...Clicked. "Next thing I know, Cadance is prying a bawling Aurora from the rafters and I'm just sitting there thinking we really should have expected something like this." That wasn't his voice. It was close but...He knew who it was. All those blackouts suddenly felt a lot less random. Though he still had no control over the memory, he could feel it this time. He was calm, comfortable, slightly warm from the tea. Sitting directly across from him at the table was Princess Celestia again, chuckling softly as she watched him. Sitting to her left was a unicorn mare he didn't recognise, orange furred, red and yellow striped mane, teal eyes that were focused on him with an intensity that was almost unnerving. It probably would have crossed into full on creepy if not for the fact that she was steadily sliding off her seat as she watched, so focused that she'd forgotten to sit up straight. Then her horn lit up and concern started to flood him. "Ahh, Sunset?" His body asked quietly, his mind tensing. That was the princesses former student? When did this take place? In his mind, this scene had to be taking place inside Canterlot Castle and he had only been to the city once in his life, trying to apply for a position among the staff of the royal gardens. But, that had to have been one of his false memories. There may just have been some hint of truth in it though, he remembered that taking place in the summer, two and a half years ago. That scene outside the window in his last flashback had looked a lot like a summers evening. "Sunset!" Celestia's voice shook her student from her daze. Unfortunately, her current position meant that she lost her balance and fell off her seat. He stood up to check she was alright, just in time to hear her hitting the floor be drowned out by the whine of magic activating. Then a beam hit him in the neck. The world went white and his body felt like it was on fire. If he could have screamed he would have. Then it all just stopped as suddenly as it started. No pain, no fear, no...Nothing. It was as if his entire existence had come to a halt, held in a limbo of pure silence. Then it ended and his hooves gave out from under him as existence came back to him with a crash. There was far less pain now, aside from where he had come down on his right side, instead replaced by a crushing sense of every emotion he could imagine, all hitting him at once. The sensation was enough to blank him out again for a moment before the conflicting feelings subsided enough for him to take stock of the situation. His body had gone largely numb, though he was aware of something at his back. On the plus side he was still in the same room as before, at least it looked that way from on the floor. He glanced up as he realised somepony was over him, seeing a red crystal mare in guards armour watching him closely. He slowly shifted his head backward and saw Sunset Shimmer still on the floor on the other side of the table, unmoving as Princess Celestia pushed another crystal guard's spear away from the unicorn. Just at the edge of his vision was the figure he had his back against. A white unicorn stallion, his face identical in appearance to his own except for the colours of his mane being blue instead of green. He recognised him instantly. "Who are you?" The guard above him demanded. Though his mouth didn't want to work in the memory, in his mind he was saying the answer clear as day. He finally knew just who he had been before this. "My name's Sh-" Bounty stopped speaking as he jerked his head upward. The memory had slipped away again and he was back in the cold. He wasn't sure just how long he'd been zoned out but a few pegasi were now in the air clearing away the fog and another was waiting in front of the stall, an orange mare with a purple mane, lighter purple eyes and cutie mark of a purple aviator helmet with blue goggles. "Oh, err, I'm...Still here." Bounty said, mostly to himself. That flashback had been quite vivid. It would have to wait for a minute though as he focused on the mare, recognising her properly now. "Okay...Just gonna let that go by." Scootaloo said warily as she picked out an apple from the stall. Bounty didn't reply to that, feeling things were awkward enough as they were. He had no idea how long she'd been standing there and for all he knew she'd been standing there for the last five minutes watching him mime out what he'd been experiencing. The rest of the transaction was done in a semi-uncomfortable silence as Scootaloo paid for her apple and headed off toward the edge of town. As he watched her go, Bounty allowed himself to smile slightly. It was no secret that she had struggled with her inability to fly her whole life but recent rumors around town implied that she was starting to find a way to circumvent whatever issue had plagued her and take to the air at long last. Even if it was wasn't true, it was inspirational. As the morning dragged on and Bounty made a few more sales, he was able to think through all the pieces he'd put together. Though he still lacked a lot of context, there was enough to figure out the bones of the truth. By mid-day, he had got enough together to relax about it and was simply enjoying his dwindling campfire before the sound of hoofsteps crunching in the snow drew his attention. "How're ya going?" Applejack asked as she approached him, glancing aside to see how many sales he had made. "Well I'm probably going to need to look for more firewood but other than that, I'm pretty good." Bounty replied as he stretched his hind legs out to get them closer to the fire. "So, nothing getting you down today. Mighty glad to hear it." She said, sitting down next to him and simply taking in the heat for a minute. "Well, normally it would be, but today I'm honestly too happy to care." "Say what now?" She looked over at him as he stretched out his neck muscles and looked back toward her. This hadn't been how he'd planned to tell her but, the moment seemed right. "Well, I think I might have finally figured out just what I am and why I've been suffering so much. I'm just that glad to realise it that I don't even care I'm not really a pony." "Yer a pony to me," Applejack said softly, placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Ah'm not sure where all this that you ain't a pony is coming from, though I think yer about to tell me. But all these years we've worked together I've seen you go through more than your fair share of hardships and just as many good times too. You've experienced joy, sadness, anger, passion and more, the full set of emotions that help make us who we are. Ah look at you and I see a regular old pony." As he looked back up at her and saw nothing but gentle, simple truth in her eyes, Bounty couldn't help but smile. Applejack had always done her best for him despite his...Quirks. There had always been a spark of something between them too, something more than friendship, something he wanted to believe was love. If she felt as much for him as he did for her, he wasn't sure. But right here, with a truly clear mind, he could look at her and see it how it was. From her perfectly toned body to her razor sharp wits, her infallible will to her commanding yet caring personality...He truly loved her. Suddenly, it was a lot harder to think about what he was. How could she love something that wasn't, in a sense, real? He took a deep breath and steeled himself. It had to be said though. The truth never stayed hidden. "Well, I appreciate that. But that's the thing...I'm not a regular pony, never have been. What I'm about to say might sound ridiculous but I need you to hear it out." "Sugarcube, ah've been dealing with the ridiculous ever since the return of Nightmare Moon. It can't be that bad." Applejack told him, smiling reassuringly. Despite how deflated his mood had become, Bounty couldn't help but blush slightly at the sight of it. "Alright, so the thing is...I'm a clone, or a magic copy, or whatever the specific thing that created me was. The pony I'm based from is Shining Armor. I had a flashback in his body earlier of him being accidentally hit by a spell and when the effects had cleared, I woke up in the scene as me, next to him. It makes sense now. I kept thinking I was in the Crystal Empire because I kept thinking I was him, if my mind is based on his as well. All my mysterious breaks and outbursts, that was my true identity trying to emerge again past the one Princess Celestia gave me...Wow, it really does sound crazy when said out loud." Bounty paused and rubbed his leg nervously. He'd been looking into the sinking flames as he spoke, fearing that Applejack might not believe him. It did sound like something out of a bad coltfic now it was out in the open. He slowly looked round toward Applejack again, expecting confusion at best, dismissal at worst. The look on her face was one he had not been expecting: Dawning realisation. "Y'know, while I was up in the Crystal City fer my map duties, I spoke to Shining Armor," She said quietly, half to him, half to herself. "He looked a little off an' at one point, I thought I saw the tail end of him going through a moment similar to what you've been dealing with." "On the sixth?" Bounty tensed up slightly. "It wouldn't happen to have been in the early evening would it?" "Well ain't that a fine guess, it was..." Applejack tensed as well as she realised. "The same time as Mac said you'd had another of yer moments." "So, you believe me?" "Never said ah didn't. But that's far too similar to be a coincidence." "Ok, thanks," Bounty sat back slightly, starting to allow himself to relax again. "So, I think I know what I'm supposed to do about it, but it'll take a little work. You wouldn't happen to know where Princess Twilight is would you?" "Oh, she's in Canterlot right now. She didn't say what it was about an' ah'm not sure how long she'd be there...Pretty sure that Spike's with her though, so..." Applejack got up and took out the stall's 'Be Right Back' sign and placed it at the front before putting the fire out. "Come on, I've got an idea." Bounty had been inside Twilight Sparkle's castle a few times since moving to Ponyville, mostly looking for information on orchard work and stamina boosting tactics during applebuck season. Normally it just felt like any other place in town; warm, welcoming and with ponies that were always good for help. Right now though, without the presence of the princess of friendship and her dragon companion, it felt rather cold and imposing. It made him uncomfortable, but he couldn't let it distract him right now. He had a chance to fix everything about him, all with a simple message. Applejack had brought him to the castle library, passed him a quill and parchment and said for him to write down what he wanted to tell Twilight. It was quick and to the point, explaining what he was, his recent discoveries and what he needed to do, along with a cautious query if she would be able to teleport him to Canterlot. Once it was written up, Applejack had fitted a seal to the letter and told him to blast it with his magic. Counterproductive as it sounded, he'd done so and watched as it vanished instead of being reduced to ash. "Yer not familar with Spike's ability are ya?" Applejack asked as she stifled a giggle at the look on his face. "Anythin' with that mark on'll make its way to him. If he's with her, Twilight will send a response back faster than you can clear a tree of apples." "Huh, fascinating," Bounty commented as he stepped back slightly and looked over at her. "Applejack, thanks for your help in this." "Aww shoot, it ain't nothing." Though she sounded casual about it, Applejack did blush slightly as she said it. That only stung more, the idea that she might feel something back for him just as he was finding out that they might never be able to do anything about it. "It's something to me." He replied simply, smiling weakly and looking away. Not wanting to drag the issue out further, Bounty settled for pacing around the library, browsing the books Twilight had for several minutes before the sound of something rematerialising behind him drew his attention. A parchment wrapped in the same seal as the one he had sent was sitting on the table, Applejack looking over at him and nodding. He quickly trotted over and opened it up, reading it out. Bounty, All I can is, I'm sorry. I've known. The whole time you've been in Ponyville, I've known that you were...Created, when my brother was hit by an anima replicare spell in August of Year 20. Princess Celestia asked that I keep watch over you and to try and support you through everything you've been going through. I'm sorry that it had to happen during a time when I wasn't there to help you. The princess is aware though and will be ready to help you properly as soon as you can make it to Canterlot. About being able to bring you here though...Unfortunately, both of us have encountered an unexpected matter that requires our complete attention for the next few days. Applejack can confirm that I wouldn't turn you down unless it was an absolutely critical, implications-for-all-of-Equestria issue. I'll find a way to make it up to you as best I can. Again, I'm so sorry about this and I hope you haven't suffered too badly. Twilight Sparkle Bounty stared at the letter for a moment, processing what he'd just read. Twilight had been in on what he was from the start, she was supposed to have helped, he had just been struggling with his confusion and fear because of some unlucky timing, and now he had to wait even longer for a solution. He finally lowered it and looked over at Applejack, who was looking back at him with a mix of concern, surprise and pity. "Well. Bugger."