//------------------------------// // Chapter Seven // Story: Our Year // by AJtheRaven //------------------------------// Applejack flung herself onto her bed and rolled over, crossing her muscular arms behind her head and staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes roved over the dark mahogany walls of her bedroom, bare except for the occasional stain as well as two portraits, one of her family and one of her friends, that hung on opposite walls. Her bedroom was cramped at the very back of the house and was the smallest of the six bedrooms, containing little more than a bed, a nightstand with a lamp, a small armchair, and a closet. There was just barely enough room for her to stretch out on her floor, and every time she wanted to use the bathroom she had to head all the way to the other end of the hall. But Applejack never complained - in fact, she had selected the bedroom herself, because the white-shuttered window looked right out onto the rolling backyard. On weekends, she sometimes woke up even earlier than usual, curled herself into the little window seat below the window with her blankets, and watched the sun rise over the apple orchard. None of the house's other inhabitants could claim such a privilege, as the rest of the bedrooms all faced the driveway and Applejack was the only one who ever got up before dawn. She was the only one who knew how the sun resembled an orb of frosty light turning the snow into glitteringly reflective shards in the winter, and how it rose pale pink and orange in the spring. And all thanks to her well-positioned but tiny bedroom. Another prominent feature of Applejack's room was its rather ramshackle nature. The ceiling and the walls sloped in odd ways, the floorboards creaked horribly, the wooden walls were dotted with dark splotches, and the closet doors came off their hinges almost every time Applejack tried to open them. Still, these imperfections somehow just made the room seem even more comfortable and homely. This snug atmosphere was intensified by the fact that her bedroom faced the sun and was thus always the warmest in the house (though in winters this was appreciated, it was slightly less of a blessing come summertime), as well as her own personal touches. Applejack had taped some of her pictures and drawings to the back of her door, stacked a heap of her favorite books in her armchair, and placed some of her most treasured stuffed animals and other childhood memorabilia on a wall shelf that she and her Pa had built together so many years ago. Even her closet was full of items she'd received over the years that she had promised herself she'd keep forever - presents from friends; trophies from sports. After all, who needs clothes, right? Applejack was content with the few she had... but she also knew that she could never let Rarity see into her closet. The poor girl would have a heart attack - but first, she'd drag Applejack to the mall to take her shopping, and that would be dangerous for both parties involved. So, all in all, Applejack's bedroom was not lacking in cosiness. But right now, the farmgirl was feeling less at home than she ever had in her life. She felt scared, and small, and helpless. Powerless to stop the thoughts that raced through her mind with every waking mind - thoughts of that certain rainbow-haired, mischievous someone who was currently staring at her from the picture on the wall right now - "Grrr!" As soon as she made eye contact with the picture, Applejack rolled over again and buried her head in her pillow, gripping it tightly and not caring that she was mussing the crimson bedsheets that she tried so hard to keep neat during the day. The mid-thigh-length white T-shirt that served as her pajamas rode up around her waist, but she didn't really care. One thing her bedroom did have room for was a lock, so Applejack knew that there was no chance of snooping siblings barging on in her. Applejack shut her eyes tightly despite the fact that they were already covered, trying to blot out the image of Rainbow's face. Sighing as she accepted what she had already known - that her efforts were futile - she swept her Stetson onto the pillow next to her, undid her ponytail with deft fingers, and turned onto her back once more. Her eyes flicked over to the nightstand, upon which rested her phone. Despite her earlier resolution, Applejack had spent the past ten minutes internally debating whether or not she should actually call Rarity. Would Rarity approve of her feelings? If she didn't, would she refuse to speak to Applejack ever again? Or if she did, would she treat it as gossip and 'accidentally' tell the whole school? Somehow, Applejack wasn't sure which fate was worse. She sat up and leaned against the headboard, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. "Ah'm bein' ridiculous," she chided herself softly. "Rarity's mah friend. She'd never do that." Hoo-boy, if Rainbow were here she'd be callin' me a sissy fer not havin' th' guts t' jus' pick up th' dang phone. That thought drove Applejack over the edge. Resolving to be brave, she set her jaw and reached out to scoop up her phone. Not allowing herself to hesitate, she dialed Rarity's number and pressed call, her fingers shaking. After ringing several times, a voicemail message sounded. Hello, you've reached Rarity Belle. I'm probably out being fabulous right now, but - With a deep exhale, Applejack ended the call and tossed the phone onto her pillow, massaging her forehead. She was both relieved and disappointed. Her practical mind took charge as usual, charting the best course of action. Applejack didn't need to tell anyone about her feelings; she could just - The phone rang. Applejack glanced at the caller ID and saw Rarity's name, as expected. Experiencing the odd feeling of her heart both sinking and soaring at the same time, Applejack picked up the phone and answered the call, cradling it to her ear. "Hello?" "Applejack, darling? You called? I'm sorry, I was in the next room over and couldn't reach my phone in time. How can I help you?" Rarity's voice floated through the speaker, tinny and crackly but nonetheless elegant. Upon hearing the comforting sound of her friend's voice, Applejack felt all of her fears washing away. Suddenly, the prospect of pouring out her worries to one of her best friends sounded surprisingly endearing. "Oh, Rares, Ah need yore help with somethin'," she blurted out. "Somethin' real important." There was a short pause, and Applejack experienced a flash of doubt. "Uh, did Ah interrupt anythin'?" Rarity did not hesitate this time. "Well, I was in the middle of making a dress for a particularly demanding client. But I know that tone in your voice - you need someone to talk to, and I'm never one to turn down a friend in need." Her voice was warm. "Are - are ya sure?" Applejack asked nervously. "Ah don' wanna take ya away from yore work..." "Positive," Rarity assured her firmly. "Now tell me everything." Applejack shut her eyes tight and opened her mouth, not one to beat about the bush once she had committed to doing something. "Ah'm in love." The loud squeal of glee that ensued caused the farmgirl to wince and gingerly hold the phone away from her ear. "Oh my goodness, you finally figured it out! Have you told Dashie yet?" Applejack bit her lip; now came the hard part. "Well... thing is, it ain't exactly a guy... Ah'm -" Suddenly, Rarity's words registered, and the rest of her pre-prepared sentence died on her lips. "Wait, what?" "Well, I assume it is Rainbow that you are in love with, am I right?" Applejack's jaw dropped. "Ya knew..." she whispered, her jade eyes filled with bewilderment and horror. "But... how?" Rarity scoffed, and Applejack could almost picture her airily waving her hand. "Psssh. To put not too fine a point on it, darling, you were about as discreet as a herd of camels." A slow blush crept up the farmgirl's freckled cheeks. "But..." she stuttered, waving her tanned arms helplessly. Her slim fingers curled further around her phone as she struggled to process what was happening. "But..." For once in her life, she was truly speechless. Rarity's tone softened. "Applejack, did you honestly think I wouldn't notice the little glances you kept stealing at her? The way you watched her every time she turned her back? We're good friends, are we not? By now I should hope I've learned to read your emotions." Applejwck twisted her lips. "True, but... but..." Her shoulders sagged. "Yore not... disgusted?" "By what?" The fashionista sounded genuinely perplexed. "By me, y'know... likin' another girl?" She had to force the words out through clenched teeth, and cringed away from the phone the moment she had said them as though she feared a scolding. She had been so scared to admit those words to herself, let alone to her family, that saying them aloud felt like some kind of betrayal. "Applejack, darling, really!" Her tone of voice was hurt. "It takes all kinds to make a world, and I wouldn't want to live in a world without you in it. No matter whom you love, or how you choose to style your hair, or what clothes you wear, even if you wear a plaid shirt with a patterned bandana - oh, I think you get the picture. You have nothing to be ashamed of." Feeling as though a crushing weight had been lifted off her shoulders, Applejack smiled a bit tearfully and swiped at her eyes with her knuckles. Rarity was wonderful, even if she did have a habit of delivering backhanded compliments. "Thanks, Rares," she managed. "That makes me feel better." "Of course. I'll always be here for you." A touch of excitement crept back into Rarity's words. "And now that we've got that of the way, you can give me all of the juicy gossip! Er, if there is juicy gossip, that is." Despite herself, Applejack couldn't resist rolling her eyes. "No, there ain't no gossip. Ah don' think there ever will be. Ah mean... there ain't no way Rainbow likes me." "And what makes you say that?" Rarity's voice was sharp. "Well... she's never said anythin' about likin' girls, an' even if she did, Ah ain't, well..." Applejack stared down at her calloused hands and slightly dirty fingers, then at the faint reflection on the phone screen of her freckled cheeks, and sighed. "Ah ain't pretty. Ah don' care much fer about how Ah look most o' th' time, but... sometimes Ah jus' wish Ah could be a little better-lookin'. Ah know Ah ain't got much in th' way o' looks." "Applejack Apple, don't you dare underestimate yourself," Rarity told her, her voice lower and fiercer than Applejack had ever heard it. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Why, most girls would kill to have that lovely blonde hair of yours. And your eyes are simply out of this world. I don't know what mirror you've been looking in, but you have nothing to fear. Besides, you have so many other wonderful features that are more important - you're honest, kind, loyal, and a good friend. And Rainbow doesn't care about looks. She just wants someone who can keep up with her at everything, and you are certainly the only one able to do that." Applejack's lips twitched in a smile. "But she doesn't want someone who can keep up with her too much, or she risks losin'." Static crackled over the phone as Rarity laughed. "That's true. But trust me, Applejack. You have everything she could ever want in a love interest." Touched, Applejack allowed her grin to widen. "Thanks, Rares." Her smile faded somewhat as she remembered the reason she had called Rarity in the first place. Sighing, she flopped back onto her pillow, absentmindedly running her fingers through her loose blonde waves. "This whole thing is jus' a big mess. Ah got so many questions. How do Ah tell if she likes me in th' first place? How do Ah know if she even likes girls? How do Ah tell her Ah like her? What if she hates me? An' mah family..." her voice broke. "How do Ah tell mah family? What if they kick me out, what if they -" "Relax, Applejack, relax," Rarity soothed her. "Worry about one thing at a time." "Well, which one do Ah worry about first? They're all so... so... worryin'!" She finished lamely, for lack of a better word. "Alright. I'll help you de-stress. Let's go through those questions one by one, alright?" "But ya got work t' do..." Applejack desperately wanted Rarity to stay and talk to her, but her moral compass was reminding her that Rarity had her own life to attend to as well. "I think I can safely say this is more important." A rustling noise crackled over the phone as though Rarity were moving around. "Now. You're worried about telling your family, I believe you said? Well... most people are. You're no exception. But I think that your family loves you for who you are, Applejack. I highly doubt they would 'kick you out', as you put it, over something so trivial." "That's jus' th' thing! It ain't trivial!" In her worked-up state, she found herself violently flailing her arms, and forced herself to calm down. "In all th' generations o' th' Apple family, there ain't been a single soul who was - was - like me," she concluded weakly, still unable to say the word. "Ah'd be th' first. An' mah family don' like firsts. We're a real traditional family, one o' th' oldest in th' area, an' that means we do things th' same way generation after generation. Apple family gals marry big strong guys who can help take care o' th' farm an' give 'em strappin' children who can carry on th' bloodline. That's jus' how it works." Applejack felt a faint churning in her stomach as she realized how awful the future she was expected to have had always sounded to her. Ever since she was a young girl, the idea of following that particular tradition had always filled her with disdain, but she had only recently entertained the idea that it was because her barn door swung right off its tracks in the wrong direction. "Ah'd be th' first," she repeated softly. "An' Ah don' wanna be th' first." "There's nothing wrong with being first," Rarity reminded her. "I was the first in my family to express an interest in fashion, and now I own my own successful boutique. Being first isn't always bad." "Alraght, point taken," Applejack sighed. "But what do Ah do about Dash? Ah still got no clue how t' tell her, an' Ah don' want her t' hate me." "Now you're just being ridiculous. Rainbow's your best friend. Knowing that you like her will probably only make her big head even bigger. It wouldn't disgust her. Besides, Dashie pretends to be cool and aloof, but she has a big heart. Who's to say she doesn't have enough room in it to love you back? You just have to give her a chance." Applejack scratched her head, feeling slightly calmer thanks to Rarity's reassuring comments, but still fairly stressed. "Yeah... but Ah still don' know how t' go about tellin' her in th' first place." "Oh, that's easy. Ask her to go with you this year's Halloween Party." "WHAT?!" Applejack jumped so violently she almost rolled off the bed. "Rarity, are y'all tryin' t' pick th' apples without a bucket?!" "... I bet your pardon?" Apparently, the countryism had been lost on her. Applejack clicked her tongue in exasperation. "Ah mean, are y'all crazy? Askin' her out jus' like that is th' most harebrained scheme Ah ever heard!" "Oh, no, darling, you misunderstand!" Rarity giggled. "I meant you should ask her to go with you as friends. Sort of, you know, ease into things slowly. Ask her to go with you as friends. But try your best to look nice and behave even more wonderfully than usual - open her eyes to your charms. Wear an adorable costume, or even opt to wear your dress and braid your hair and all that. And don't try to tell me you don't have a dress; I know for a fact you have one sitting in the back of your closet. You should wear it more often; the red matches superbly with your hair." The farmgirl paled. "How do ya know about that dress?" "Ladies always know these things, Jackie. Get used to it." Shaking her head resignedly, Applejack decided not to bother Rarity's disturbing statement. "Okay. But what do Ah do next?" "Well, you could try asking her to dance. Just in a friendly way, of course. Then after this dance, you'd have two months between this one and the Winter Formal." Canterlot High, at the request of the students, had chosen to do a Halloween Dance and a Winter Formal instead of a Fall Formal. "You have all that time to show you how wonderful you are - if she doesn't already know, that is. Perhaps you'll even be able to ask her to the Winter Formal as a little more than a friend. But no matter what, Applejack, I think you should tell Rainbow about your feelings before the year's over." "Tell her?" Applejack echoed, her voice hollow. "But..." "Trust me on this. Whether or not Rainbow likes you back, she's not going to refuse to associate with you just because you have feelings for her. I think you're underestimating her, darling. Trust me, and trust her. You need to be honest with her." A frown flickered on her forehead. She knew that Rarity's advice was sound, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. "Ah see yore point. Well, thanks fer the advice." "My pleasure, Applejack," Rarity replied warmly. "Call any time you need me. See you at school tomorrow?" "Shore thing. See ya, Rares." Applejack made as if to hang up, but Rarity's voice crackled through the speaker one more time. "Oh, and Applejack? That was very brave, what you just did. Talking about your feelings is never easy." A smile lurked in her voice. "Remember that bravery is something she admires. With courage like yours, winning her affections should be triflingly easy." Applejack blushed, relieved that Rarity couldn't see her face. "Thanks," she murmured. "You're most welcome. Goodbye, dear." Rarity hung up with a click, leaning Applejack alone with her thoughts. Heaving a sigh, the blonde slung her arms behind her head again, her chin tipped backwards as she stared up at the ceiling. Her conversation with Rarity had answered many of her questions, but had also caused many new ones to spring to mind. Still, Applejack knew that she needed to trust her friend's expertise. She had five weeks before the Halloween Dance - more than enough time to acclimatize herself to the idea of asking Rainbow to the dance as friends and then furthering her advances from there. Applejack could do it. She could. A soft rap sounded on the door, jolting her out of her inner musing. "AJ? Ya doin' okay in there?" a baritone voice queried. Pursing her lips and huffing another sigh, Applejack rolled her eyes. Big Mac was only three years older then her, but he still felt the need to check up on her in every spare moment. The fact that her door locked hardly counted - he came to check on her regularly nonetheless. Applejack loved her big brother with all her heart, but she sometimes wished he give her a little more privacy, although she knew he was only looking out for her. "Yes, Mac, Ah'm fine," she answered wearily. The door creaked as though he were leaning his bulky frame on it. "Goin' t' bed already? 'S only 8:30." Applejack rubbed her eyes, suddenly realizing how tired she was. She'd already brushed her teeth and completed the last of her chores, so she might as well go to bed. "Y'know what, Ah think Ah will turn down fer th' night." When Big Mac didn't say goodnight and tromp down the hall to his own room, Applejack frowned and cocked her head. "Mac? Still there?" He hummed his assent. "Jus' thinkin', that's all." Thinking was one of the things he did best, powering through problems with the slow logic characteristic of most Apple family members. "Yore friend Rainbow Dash left real quick tonight. Everythin' okay with her?" Applejack groaned. "Ah dunno." Ah dunno if everythin's even okay with me. "Ah'm worried about her, is all. She's been a bit more, well, cryptic lately. Not quite herself. An' she don' say nothin' when Ah ask. So Ah jus' dunno." She could almost picture her brother slowly nodding his head as he digested that information. "Right. Well, jus' let her know she's always welcome here." His bones creaked as he stretched his muscly arms behind his head to loosen his back. "Ah'm goin' t' mah room. G'night. Love ya, little sis." His voice was soft. A smile broke out on Applejack's lips. "Love ya too, Mac." As the thumping of his heavy boots faded away down the hall, her smile faded away, and she flipped over onto her stomach and wrapped her arms tightly around her pillow, burying her head into its comforting warmth. Would Big Mac still love her if he knew about her feelings for Rainbow? Rarity's words floated through her mind. Worry about one thing at a time. Resolute, Applejack nodded and loosened her grip on the pillow. She could worry about telling her family after she had figured out how to tell Rainbow. Her grass-green eyes thoughtful and brimming with hope, Applejack reached out to switch off her desk lamp and slid under her blankets, smoothing out the hem of her pajama shirt. She stared out at the open window, at the curtains rippling faintly in the breeze, at the stripes of moonlight that illuminated her pale skin and gave her flaxen hair an otherworldly silver sheen, and then shut her eyes, casting her mind out to the rainbow-haired girl who occupied her thoughts in her every waking moment. "Ah love ya," she whispered, a peaceful smile flickering across her lips as she drifted off into sleep. "So much." Little did Applejack know that halfway across town, that same rainbow-haired girl was murmuring those same words under her breath.