The Equestrian Gourmet

by Gamel_Lightshow


Morning chats and Hallways.

Morning comes all too soon. The sound of hooves can be heard outside, which is pretty surprising since last time Richard checked, horses can't fit in most homes. He sits up turning his head towards the noise. A knock emanates from the door before it opens wide allowing a horse to walk into the room.

This horse in question wears a very clean and ironed tuxedo that covers the barrel of his body and some of his forelegs. He's completely dull brown and has black and yellow mane and tail. There seems to be the picture of a folded napkin on his flank which might indicate his servitude to a certain order or person. The thought of slavery comes to mind along with thoughts of keeping one of those away from any part of his body.

Then, of course, that's immediately overcome by the fact that he is still in fact in his "dream". His body goes rigid as the horse does a mock of a bow and speaks.

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna wish to see you in the throne room just down the hall."

The stallion turns and leaves out the room closing the door in the process. Richard stares wide-eyed at the door before lifting one of his hands and slapping himself across the face.

"Yup. Bad idea..." He says rubbing his now stinging cheek, "Shit. Well. I guess... I guess this isn't a dream than huh?"

Richard lays back down on his back wanting to just close his eyes and pretend this is all just a horrible nightmare. His friends, dead? How? Why? So many questions flow through his mind and he knows where he might get the answer. Of course, that means facing the day before him and seeing the.

"Wait. Princess? Princesses?" He says sitting up mulling that new bit of info through his mind.

He quickly hops from the bed and grabs the shirt he discarded before falling asleep. If it's one thing he's learned in his line of work, never keep the big important figures waiting. He opens the door after donning his full attire and is greeted by the sight of servants moving about in the light of day dusting, sweeping, and arranging busts of figureheads. It all seems surreal, but this is his life now. He just has to come to accept this. Or reject it with all his body.

He moves down the hall leading toward a set of doors he previously existed yesterday. While walking, his mind begins to race while watching these horses walk about with sentience when at one point and time he would’ve never considered these creatures of ever becoming intelligent enough to form a government and clean. Let alone grow horns and wings.

He can’t seem to come up with a conclusion on how all this would’ve happened. Were humans wiped out? Did they just take over and eliminate all of us like some Hitler two point o. If they did they wouldn’t have used us in the attempt to destroy some evil.Or perhaps... we’re slaves?

A shake of his head knocks him from his despair-riddled thoughts in order to focus on the first of the main issues he wants to be answered. Where is he and if there is a way back to where he’s from.

Richard comes to the doors where he knows his answers await. On either side of the door are Unicorns dressed in golden armor both with white coats. The spears they wield look natural in their hoofs and seem to be for more than just show. Richard presses his hands against the door and pushes them open. Or at least he would if they would bulge.

"What are these doors made of!?" He exclaims shoving his shoulder into it trying to force it open, “Hey! A little help here?”

The Unicorns ignite their horns and the doors swing open dropping him onto his face. He slowly gets up groaning from the sudden impact and takes notice the two princesses looking on with amusement in their eyes.

"Good Morning," Celestia says.

"Morning," Richard says quickly getting up and bowing before the two.

The two look at each other before Luna says, "There is no need to bow before us. I hope you enjoyed your sleep last night."

"Uh. Yeah. Sorry about. Yesterday. I hope I didn't offend your royalness in any way." Richard says straightening himself.

"Richard. Please. Come closer and forget the royal business. If anything, we should be the ones treating you on a higher pedestal."

"No. You shouldn't. I am not the person you once knew. And I do not wish to overstep my boundaries if I am to be stuck here."

"Ah. So it seems you already know why we have called you here for then." Celestia says rising as Richard comes closer closing the doors behind him, "I and my sister have spent quite a time in the library looking for any signs that this may be some type of destiny magic at work, but nothing has come up so far. As for being stuck here, it seems there is no way to know if we can return where you came from seeing as we do not know what plane of existence you have surfaced from."

"Right. But that doesn't mean you can't."

"There are various magic that may be able to return you home, but yes there is, in fact, a way for us to send you to where you came from if we had an exact point and the time for the spell to be fully constructed." Luna says nodding her head, "But on other news, we were able to dig up some information on you and the others you might be interested in reading. I have not gone through a lot of it myself, but I hope whatever you find in them are incisive."

"Alright. I'll do that as soon as possible then. For now, I would at least like to know where I should start integrating myself into society. As much as I would love to live a life where I don't have to work for a living, I would very much like to hold something I can call my own without it given to me through the act of kindness or pity."

"Of course. Perhaps I could offer you a job somewhere within the castle so you may have a starting point for if you wish to move from our fair capital. After all, the lights, sounds, and crowds aren't for everypony." Celestia says rising from her seat.

Luna yawns loudly covering her face with one of her wings, "You must excuse me. I'm not accustomed to being awake for so long. I mainly sleep through the day so I may perform my job of serving the night as a guardian and a counselor."

"Of course... Luna, correct?"

"Yes. Goodnight Celestia, Richard." Her horn ignites and she disappears from the room leaving a semi-blind Richard and fully seeing Celestia together.

"So are you ready to begin the day?" Celestia asks a smile on her face.

"As ready as I can be."

Celestia comes down from her throne and leads Richard back out into the hall where ponies bow before the presences before going back to their medical tasks. The guards from the entry way flank him and her as they make their way further into the rest of the building. Richard assumes the place must be of a considerable size with the guards here and her being royalty and such. He wasn't prepared of course to find out how high the floor to ceiling ratio is.

Richard looks around astonished at all the horses moving about through the area and how high up the stairs ascend. He can't fathom how long this place must have taken them to build let alone whatever else is outside of these walls. These horses move about like normal humans, yet they're nothing like him. Or the ones he knows.

"Um. Forgive me for my arrogance for asking this, but what is your race called? Or I should say your kind." Richard asks trying not to sound offensive.

"Ah yes. There are many things that I wish to bring you to light about, but first I believe you should probably have something to eat. Whatever magic used to bring you here probably used both the caster's and your own magic. I'm sure you will start feeling hunger pains sooner than later, so we shall discuss more over a morning meal." Celestia says leading him past several more doors before pushing one open revealing a room with a small clothed round table set up with four chairs around it, "Here is where I, my sister, Cadence, and Twilight eat breakfast together on some days. Sit down where you like and one of my pony chefs will be out soon enough to ask us what we would like."

"Right... Tell me first then, " Richard begins as he takes a seat across from Celestia, "What type of government do you guys run?"

"Ah. You might think we would be a type of monarchy with us being princesses, but I assure you we are a more democracy, orientated people. We are standing in for power and for issues that no normal pony can take care of."

"So you and your sister are figureheads?"

"Figureheads with certain powers over the state, but figureheads nonetheless. We tend to try to keep out of our pony's lives as much as possible in order to not influence the delicate balance of nature within our world." She says levitating a cup of steaming coffee from a coffee maker nearby, "Saying that, this doesn't hold up true for everywhere that hooves touch. The Crystal Empire is, in fact, a republic state that decides through a voting caste system. It is older, but it seems to work out best for them. As it has proven to be no problem what so ever, we have had no reason to bring up any complaints."

"Interesting," Richard says relishing over the new information along with the fact she said pony, not horse, "Do you think I could look through some of your history books? Kind of get an idea of what I should expect from this uh era."

"If you're looking for information about you and your friends, you won't find it in any of these normal libraries. You would have to go with me and Luna to our special library where we keep very sensitive information. As far as the other information goes, you can find most of everything you need within the castle's library."

"I'm not allowed within the personal archive by myself?"

"It is for your and my and my sister's safety mostly. There are very ancient and powerful books within our ever expansive library." Celestia says as a pony with a gourmet hate trots in dressed in a white button-up shirt with multiple gold plaques upon his chest.

"What shall I bring for you, Princess and guest."

"The usual for me," Celestia says with a sweet smile.

"I'll take some tea, a biscuit, eggs, and a bit of strawberry jam," Richard says catching himself before asking for sausage along with that.

"Of course. It will be right out." The chef says before turning and trotting away.

Richard slumps forward and places his hands on his head wondering what his life has come to. What will his life become now that he's here? Will this all become normal eventually?

"Tell me. Are the only ones who know of my presences those of the immediate area, or do civilians know as well."

"Only those who need to know of your presence as we don't wish to draw out the creature who has summoned you closer to you. If say, a pony, were to have summoned you and they find out that they indeed succeeded, we don't know what they, he, or she may have done to the spell and for what purpose. For all we know, you could be a ticking time bomb or something or someone being controlled by another creature far off. It is suspicious that on the night Luna decided to appear in the graveyard you arise from your grave." She says setting her coffee down with her magic.

"Ah. So you want to keep a close eye on me then. I guess that answers some of my other questions then for a while. So say that I am being controlled, wouldn't you have already known that? Isn't there some kind of like magic detection magic like in D&D?"

"Yes there is, but it can be easy to hide magic sometimes. I don't know how your D and D works, but even we are unsure of certain magic." She says matter-of-factly.

"Right. So hidden magic controlling me, or a spell that might make me into a bomb. Got it. Both unfavorable lines of thinking with unfavorable outcomes most likely. Well I know I feel alive despite my best attempt to not accept it, but this will be my home for a while huh?" Richard says leaning back in his seat with a huff.

"Yes. For the time being, this shall be your home so we may monitor your behavior, health, and help you reach the information you are seeking. After we have confirmed many things around you will you be free to roam outside of the castle walls."

"Of course. Thank you, Princess."

"Please, Richard. Just Celestia."

"Of course, Celestia."

Breakfast continues on without much of a hitch. They discuss the position Equestria is in and all the places it controls as well as some of the other species that live in this world. Richard mentioned this sounds like something out a fairytale and learned that humans are mythical creatures within this realm along with many of the relics he once considered normal. Further discussion revealed that everything within this world has magic, including him.

"But I come from the world without magic. That doesn't make any sense." Richard says finishing his glass of tea and pushing his plate slightly aside.

"I assure you, it's not all that senseless. I'm sure it'll show through something. I'm certain you don't have powers like us, but you and your friends were extraordinary. The power of flight, being able to clone oneself, conjuring things from the mind, expanding the body beyond its limit. All of you had different traits and powers.

Of course, not all of you were good either. Yet, you all fought together like you had been through all the years despite the many fights between one another. Forgive me, it's been many years and I hardly remember the details. Though I remember you we're an extraordinary cook. Your gift for creating cuisines from the basic of ingredients was unparalleled."

"Right. I noticed my tombstone simply said, cook. If I had to guess, my magic comes from cooking?"

"Perhaps. For now, l have to take my leave. After all, I am meant to be watching over the day court."

"Please, don't let me hold you back from your royal duties."

She nods, "Later we should discuss this more as well as visit the personal archive I spoke of."

"Of course."

With that, she leaves the room taking her two guards with her. The chef comes back out after Celestia leaves and takes the dirty plates and cups with him into the back. Richard rises from his chair and faces the door where Celestia exited.

"Now, where do I start..."


"Shit..." Richard breathes out realizing he's back at where he began for the fiftieth time.

An exaggeration? Maybe. For it certainly feels like he's been past the kitchen door far too many times than he would like.

He pushes the doors open and walks in if only to take a simple break. He sits at the table and lays his head down weariness on his face. He begins to wonder of the halls are enchanted for him to not wonder, or if he simply has no sense of direction.

"Afternoon, Richard? Right?"

Richard looks towards the source of the voice to find a sea-foam lime colored pony looking at him with a broad smile plastered on his face. He says his for the voice is too man like. His mane and tail are a deep shade of purple.

"Afternoon," Richard Speaks back.

"What brings you back around here?"

"Call it a fate."

"Ah. Fate is an interesting thing you know." The pony says taking a seat across from him, "I feel like fate governs our lives more than the people higher up. But you didn't hear that from me."

"Really now? What makes you come to that?" Richard asks propping his head up with an arm.

"It's because our cutie marks mean so much to each and every one of us. From broad to narrow, they govern how we act mainly."

"Cutie marks?"

"Oh? No pony has explained to you, have they? Well here, let me show you."

The pony hops down and walks around so the side of his body is facing him. Once again, Richard takes note of the brand upon his flank that seems to be two knives crossing over each other over a plate.

"That picture on my flank represents my talent as well as my destiny. It's called a cutie mark."

"You're talent huh? So cooking?"

"Not quite. I am good at cooking, but my talent lies in the presentation of the food. See, aesthetics can make a dish taste great or bad because the brain processes what it'll be like right off the bat. Of course, cooking can be surprising, but it is an art I train myself in."

"I see. So tell me, were you hired for your cutie mark then?"

"Actually no. My family is of noble birth and they managed to get me a job here as a servant for a while until I found my talent. Which so happened to come while helping a chef impress some diplomats from Griffonia."

"Really now? I assume you blew them away and that's when that appeared, or did you have to get it put on you."

"No no. It appears when you have found your special talent. We all never know what it is, but when we find it this cutie mark will let us know."

"Huh... that sounds pretty bad actually. But I mean to each their own I suppose. I honestly thought it was some sort of slave mark."

"By Celestia no!"

"My bad I didn't mean to offend. Mind if I watch your special talent in work?"

"I wouldn't, but our chef is out."

"I'm sure I can fix something up still. I used to cook back where I'm from."

"Oh really now? Perhaps you could cook up one of your world's recipe for us." He speaks out hopping from the table and making his way into the kitchen.

"I'll see what I can do," Richard says getting up and following behind into the kitchen.

And what a kitchen it is. Many boxes of ingredients, different sort of ovens to cook from ranging from clay to porcelain, and all sort of weird looking cooking utensils he is used to and unused to. To say he was blown away from the sight of the giant kitchen that would put the one he used to work in to shame is an understatement. He makes his way over to the boxes of ingredients and notices stuff he's never cooked with before.

Grass, some purple plants called perfrail, and some weird blocky brown shapes called Orchal. He picks up the Orchal and his mind is assaulted by pictures of recipes associated with it. He drops the block out of shock and still sees after images of the sudden assault. He places a hand on his forehead as he stumbles back making the pony beside him jump in surprise and worry.

"Hey! You alright?" He asks taking a step closer to Richard.

"Y-Yea... Just a sudden headache is all..." Richard says leaning over and picking the piece of Orchal up again before tossing it away into a nearby waste bin.

His mind was assaulted by recipes again, but this time he was prepared. He instinctively picks out one that he can completely read and see that includes it, a clay over, flour, and a few spices.

"Okay... I think I'm ready to cook something." Richard says in almost a spooked voice.

"You sure? We can hold off until you feel better."

"No. I think I need this, to be honest with you. I want to try something." Richard says making his way through the kitchen putting on a gourmet's hat and setting up what all he needs the recipe seemingly floating in front of him.

This is so weird... I wonder what would happen if I... Richard thinks as he raises a hand to the recipe.

He feels his hand touch the intangible object and moves it to the side of his vision with the ease of moving actual paper.

Creepy. Very very creepy. Though I guess this is the magic Celestia was talking about.

"Alright. Let's get to cooking."


Richard lays the plate of oddly smelling strips of wooden looking bacon upon the table for the pony, whose name is Sea Breeze after various conversations, to get to work. The pony walks over and picks up a piece and looks it over in wonder.

"Wow... I've only seen this with bacon that the Griffins usually eat when they visit. You sure this is safe to eat? I mean I watched you cook it so of course, it is." Sea Breeze says chuckling to himself before taking a bite.

The thing Richard hasn't brought up yet is the fact that after he finished it the recipe has been burned into his head under a recipe section that appeared on the left side of his vision like some kind of game bar. Below it is stats listed as well. It says HP gain +50, defense increase +5 for three minutes. Upon touching it, it minimized into some kind of bar he's just taking notice of in the bottom of his vision. Beside the recipe section is his stats section.

Upon opening, he's come face to face with a literal game interface of clothing, health, mp, sp, and lots more. He has low attack, low defense, low health, low everything. His profession is The Cook and apparently, he's level 1 halfway to 2. Just from one simple recipe too. It gave him 35 EXP.

"Hey, Sea Foam. How do you feel after eating that?"

"Actually... Healthier. It tastes pretty good too. Can't say I've ever eaten anything like this before. Why ya ask?"

"I was just curious is all..." He says putting away all the menus.

"Well after watching you work, sit back and watch me work!"

Richard can't say he watched him work as much as he probably watched him work. His mind was too filled with questions and thoughts of everything that just transpired. He applauded his craftsmen ship and excused himself to his room where he began searching frantically for anything to write on and with. He came across a journal, inkwell, and a feather. With thoughts still fresh in his head, he began to jot down everything that has transpired up till now.