And once again peace and harmony was restored to the world! Yeah, that's cool and all, but killing things is much more fun. Maybe someday the ponies can learn that important lesson so that they can truly be happy in life. I pity them, truly pity them. Oh well, to each his own. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said that.
At least I can go back to killing things. I talked to the princesses after my glorious defeat of the changelings and they said they would probably be able to send me back home. I don't like how they used the word 'probably', that makes them sound unsure. Oh well, I can worry about that later.
What, I didn't tell you about the party yet? Well, the ponies decided to have a victory party after the battle. They even honored me there and gave me some cool metals. That's the only reason why I'm still here. It may be pretty nice in pony land, but I very much enjoy fighting halos. I'm also out of bullets and grenades which makes me very sad. At least my laser sword recharged.
Now, about the party. It was pretty fun. They even had a DJ and stuff. Needless to say, I partied hard. I showed the ponies the true meaning of dancing with my sweet moves. Hopefully they learned something from me while I was here. I sure as hell learned something from them. Mostly that ponies are adorable. My pony friends introduced me to some of their little sisters at the party and they were much too cute for mortal eyes. Probably not as adorable as a little larvae pony, but pretty close.
All and all, I had a good time. I even devoured several pounds of cake at the party. The other ponies seemed really entertained, if not slightly grossed out, by my eating style. At least it's not as bad as going to the bathroom. I tried that after the changeling invasion and it was probably the most harrowing experience of my life. I spent several hours crying in the shower after that... I don't want to talk about it...
Anyways, now that that's all done with. The princesses had agreed to send me home. They prepared their spell while I said my goodbyes to the ponies.
First up it was Pinkie who came over and hugged my leg. "You're the best alien friend I've ever had!"
I patted her head with one hand and was about to tell her that she could just add me as a friend on xbox, but then I realized that I have no idea what an 'xbox' is. Instead I tried to cheer her up a bit. "You're the best pink pony friend I've ever had." This is true, I don't think I've ever met another pink pony.
She looked up and smiled at me while wiping a single tear from her eye with a tentacle (hoof). Next Applejack trotted up. "Aw shucks, you may be unorthodox, but you're a pretty good halo in my book. We're all mighty grateful that you saved Canterlot from them changelings."
"Heh, no problem. If you ponies ever need help again, you know where to find me." I looked over at Celestia while saying this and she smiled back.
"I'll admit, it was pretty awesome how you beat Chrysalis. I guess you're pretty cool. See you around." I wonder if Rainbow Dash understood that I was likely going away forever. Meh, no worries.
"And you're pretty cool too rainbow pony." Secretly, I'm very jealous of her... All I want in life is a rainbow visor. Bungie, y u no make?
"Um, bye." Fluttershy's goodbye was the shortest of all. Then again, she didn't talk to me much while I was staying here. I don't think she likes me... I can't imagine why. I just waved back at her meekly.
Next came rarity. "Now darling, promise me that you'll keep your beautiful armor nice and clean this time." Yeah, I was completely covered in blood and guts after the battle. At least Rarity helped me clean it up. Actually, she pretty much insisted on it. She even managed to clean my hat somehow.
"Don't worry Rarity, I'll take good care of it." Chances are if I get in a fight it's gonna get all dirty again, but she doesn't need to know about that.
She gave an elegant nod before trotting off to join her other friends. Last came Twilight Sparkle. "I really would like to learn more about your world while you are here."
Twilight had been pestering me for the last two days after the battle for any information on my world. I think she found my weapons and stuff exciting, but I really don't know much about anything. "Sorry Sparkle, but if I knew I was going to go to another planet suddenly I would have learned more about where I came from. Either way, goodbye."
"And I'll miss you most of all scarecrow." I went up to scarecrow who now had more heart than anyone I've ever seen and gave him a hug.
"No, Halo man. It is I who will miss you. Now fly, be free like the free willy!" I stopped hugging scarecrow for long enough to look into his eyes one last time. I'm truly going to miss that guy.
Now done with the goodbyes, I turned to Celestia and Luna who nodded at me. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah, I'm ready. Are you sure this will work?" I don't really want to end up in a dimension ruled by spiraling nightmare chainsaw monsters.
"Yeah, we're almost positive that it will work." Said Celestia. Once again, she didn't seem 100% sure. Then again, they got me here just fine. Why should I worry about them getting me back?
"Well, ok then. Let's goooooo!" I pointed one arm into the air dramatically.
As I said this the two princesses pointed their horns at me and fired some magic into my chest. That was the last thing I saw before everything became too bright and I had to close my eyes. Sure enough, I soon felt like I was falling. At least traveling via magic is consistent.
Then there was ground! It was hard, yes that is a common trait among ground. Now I just need to figure out where the princesses dropped me at. I blinked a bit until my vision started to return. Alright, I was on a solid dark gray surface, that could be from just about anywhere. Looking around I had no idea where I was at. It was a strangely shaped room with dark gray walls and ceiling that matched the floor.
"By Bungie's beard, where am I?!" I got up and was about to panic until I saw someone else step into the room. They were completely covered in armor, but they didn't look like any halo I've ever seen. First off, it was shaped different than other halo armor. It had large round shoulder pads and a helmet design that I've never seen before. The armor also covered its entire body. My armor only covers most of me, and the rest is a thin rubber suit. Next it had a glowing green visor as well as several green lights on its chest. I'm slightly jelly, all the visor choices I got sucked. Light green would be win.
The last distinguishing feature about the armor is that the right arm was covered with a dark green barrel thing. Perhaps that's its, wait for it, HAND CANNON! Haha, that joke was funnier in my head, and even then it was pretty horrible...
Then the weirdo in the suit spoke. "Woah, man. Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?"
Good questions indeed. Apparently I'm on a ship of some kind. "Ummmm hey. The names Halo man. I just got randomly teleported here by a group of magical, colorful taking ponies. Mind telling me where this is and by extension who you are?" At least I'm pretty good at staying calm. Stupid ponies teleported me to some random place though. If I ever see Celestia again I'll have to give her a peace of my mind.
"Oh, well I believe you entirely." At least we weren't going to have trust issues here. This guy seemed pretty cool. "Anyways, my name is Metroid man. You're on my ship right now."
Then another voice came from the other room. "Who are you talking to in there honey?"
"I'm talking to Halo man!" Metroid man turned back to me before commenting. "That's Samus, my girlfriend. She moved in a while ago."
*************
"Then we became the best of friends. Metroid man and Samus let me crash at their place for a while until I was able to get a home of my own. They even introduced me to Ridley. And that, kids, is how I met your mom."
Ridley squawked from where she was in the kitchen when she heard her name mentioned. "I love you too honey!" I yelled back before returning my attention to the three little horrible halo-pterodactyl hybrids sitting on the carpet in front of me. How I loved these little abominations of nature.
Then Humples spoke up. "Did you really fight an army of bug ponies?!"
"Sure did champ. Now then, it's time for you all to go to bed."
At the mention of sleep, Humples, Buttrub, and Facerape all let out a disappointed 'awwwwww'. "Nope, you need your sleep or you'll never grow up to be big and strong enough to hump your murdered enemies." I then tucked them into bed and gave them each a kiss on their adorable little visors.
As I turned off the lights I couldn't help but reflect on how retardedly weird my life is. At least to anyone else. At this point, weird stuff seems pretty normal to me. Oh well, I like it like that...
The End...................................?
-------------
Credits
Written - Ethesto
Produced - Ethesto
Preread - Ethesto
Edited -Ethesto
Every Character - Ethesto
Yeah... I did everything except make the characters up... credits are useless...
Anyway, thanks a lot for reading this. As you all know, I wasn't planning on making the story this long to start with. It was fun, though. I might have continued this, but I'm going to be gone for two weeks starting on July 4th. I'm going on 'vacation' with my family. It's actually going to be us driving from Virginia to Missouri to California and back in a small, air conditionless car to visit family we haven't talked to in years... Honestly, it's going to be the worst and my parents are just making me come so I can drive for them. If you don't ever see me type anything again, rest assured that it's because I got in a horrible car accident and died.
I hope you like the end. Halo man and Ridley got it on like Diddy Kong! Once again, thanks for reading.
PS: If you read through this whole thing and you liked it... Can you 'like' it? I'm a massive like whore, and your likes give me a boner.
Ethesto, signing out.